O-New: Now Extinct Website

Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 1 [Impressions]

Hey, everybody. It’s time for me to INTERACT MORE WITH MY REGULAR READERS by starting a WEEKLY I mean MONTHLY I mean YEARLY competition to see who is the GREATEST FAN OF O-NEW OUT THERE!!

What’s the challenge? Well, the challenge is understanding what I said in these comments. Whoever comments below with the proper translation of my speech, good reasons for thinking that that is the proper translation of my speech, and an excuse for me for saying ‘speech’ when I’m not even talking first will win! Here are example submissions:

Anonymous
Posted 2012/02/30 at 26:71 | Permalink | Reply
‘Wine, art upon sting a genome? So I’m a shoe, tapes a shinto.’ means ‘I sting genomes because I type like shinn87!’
‘Thous, our whiz-wards yew halved. Their butt-eye Kant-creek ate scream; shoots yews. Sing empathy, bee! Cousin thee en-ditch – to mush Worch!’ means ‘I take screenshots because I’m a butt-eye!’
I believe that this is the proper translation of your speech because you are an idiot, I hate you, and you are most definitely also a butt-eye.
An excuse for you saying ‘speech’ when you’re not even talking is because you are a butt-eye and butt-eyes cannot talk, but want to sound like they’re talking.

Sinophile
Posted 2012/12/23 at 23:59 | Permalink | Reply
where are the tits

Anon
Posted 2012/03/00 at 00:00 | Permalink | Reply
your wine and shinto comment mens kyaa~ squee~ Ouma Shu is super hot desu~~~~~<3
your wizards and buteye coment means uguuuu~~ my cousin is super cute desu~~
i believ this is right because ouma shu is supper hot desu~~ and my cousin is also super choo-kawai~
you say spech when your not even talking because you are uugly and grosse and déspicable et méprisable. Aller mourir dans un puits au large de la côte de la Finlande. b-b-baka

FlareIaM
Posted 1949/10/01 at 07:15 | Permalink | Reply
So do all Mushyrulez need to wear 斗笠 when they write bad posts?

Here, only Anonymous and Anon’s comments count, and since Anon posted first, Anon would win the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog. An example mention of Anon would be like this:

‘Congratulations to Anon for winning the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog. Here is my mention of Anon on a post on this blog: Congratulations to Anon for winning the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog. Here is my mention of Anon on a post on this blog: Congratulations to Anon for winning the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog. Here is my mention of Anon on a post on this blog: Congratulations to Anon for winning the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog. Here is my mention of Anon on a post on this blog: Congratulations to Anon for winning the grand prize of being mentioned on a post on this blog.’

Meanwhile, Sinophile does not get tits because he does not get tits, and FlareIaM should STOP SENDING ME SEVEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY EIGHT NEW VISITORS WHO VISIT THE FRONT PAGE ONCE AND THEN GO AWAY. JESUS CHRIST WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO FLARE WHY DID OVER FIVE HUNDRED PEOPLE VISIT THIS BLOG IN JUST ONE HOUR HOLY MOTHER OF H.G. WELLS WHO ARE YOU WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE GO AWAY THEY DON’T EVEN READ MY POSTS WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS ARE THEY?!

Ahem.

(I swear, I’ve seen that scenery before somewhere! It was either in No. 6, UN-GO, or [insert noitaminA anime here]. Right? RIGHT?!)

This is a Black★Rock Shooter (TV) post. I really never understood why there just has to be a ★ between Black and Rock. I also never understood the whole fascination with Blackness, Rockiness, Stardom, and ★-ness. I mean, what IS Black★Rock Shooter? It’s a music video. The music video is listed in MyAnimeList. Um, hello? MyANIMEList? I don’t think that’s MyMusicVideoList for a reason.

I’ll bet you that it was just a bet by two random influential people with money, influence, money, and more money, to see if they could turn a music video into a full-blown franchise. And by golly, they sure damn did. See, all you need to earn money is… money. As long as you throw enough money at something, that something will eventually become successful and give you more money back. It’s the basic law of capitalism: if you have money, you’ll get more money; if you don’t have money, you’d be better off drowning yourself in a well off the coast of FInland. Thankfully, not only do I have money, but I also have money. 8)

Everybody in Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has their corresponding colours. Black★Gold Saw is, uh, Red, Dead Master is, uh, Green, Chariot is, uh, Yellow, and STRength is, uh, Black and White. Wait, what? What kind of name is ‘STRength’? Why is Black★GOLD Saw RED? And of course, Black★Rock Shooter is… Blue. That makes sense, right? BLACK★Rock Shooter is BLUE?

This Kagari girl is pretty creepy and mean. But I think the other girls are even creepier. They’re in junior high. Why would they be drinking coffee? And that counsellor, oh that counsellor, encouraging little girls to use drugs (coffee). My counsellor isn’t as… uh, kind, as she is, but my counsellor’s, uh… strictness… makes him a… harsher guy. But he means well. As in, he’s mean, but he means well and doesn’t mean and creepy like this Kagari girl. This counsellor, saying that ‘herp derp when you’re sad… SOMEONE’S HEART HURTS’. What does that even mean?

I think MY HEART hurts, because of my high blood pressure and orthostatic hypotension and hyperventilation syndrome and stable angina pectoris and cardiac dysrhythmia (see: Katawa Shoujo) and [insert complicated medical term that I don't understand here] etc. etc, even though I don’t actually have any of those. Probably. My doctor said I don’t. I do suffer from frequent orthostatic hypotension, though. But that’s only because in any given day I sleep on a bed for 10 hours, sit in a chair for 13 hours, sit on a bed for two minutes, and sleep in a chair for fifty-eight minutes. I don’t actually ever stand up, and neither do I walk nor run. If you’ve ever seen me do any of those before, your eyes are lying to you.

It really sucks that this is the first noitaminA show I’ve watched this season. I haven’t started Thermae Romae yet because stuff’s been keeping me from watching foreign cartoons, and Guilty Crown doesn’t count because I haven’t watched past episode six yet. Maybe Thermae Romae will infuse hope into my veins that noitaminA is worth saving. Maybe not. I’ll talk more about noitaminA next episode. But for this episode, guess what?

Once again, this post is not actually about what the title says it’s about. Must’ve been pretty boring to you. OH WELL

Cover Rating: 4/10 (Good)Blogging

3 responses

  1. Yi

    Well, the rich gets richer. But yea, this whole franchise is pretty lovely, and I’m excited about picking this series up.

    2012/02/16 at 20:26

  2. WHAT FRANCHISE

    I SEE FRENCH

    AND CHEESE

    AND MACAROONS

    AND A FRENCH CHEESE

    BUT NO FRANCHISE

    AND ACTUALLY NO FRENCH CHEESE EITHER

    2012/02/16 at 20:46

  3. Pingback: 2012 Winter Anime First Impressions Part Two « O-New