THAT’S IT THE END
GOODBYE EVERYBODY
I HAVE FAILED EVERYTHING
MY LIFE IS MEANINGLESS NOW
Thus I must reject its meaninglessness and replace it with mean meanings, viz. writing shitty anime posts and watching Horizon in the Middle of Shit.
unrelated: some big Canadian Tire closed today and we got in 15 minutes before final closing and bought half a bushel of shit nobody wants
related: the examiner’s face when I finished was the literal embodiment of disgust. my performance was so repugnant I am pretty sure the older examiner nauseatingly puked on his $699.99 mac and the other distracted himself by playing touhou on the other $1499.99 mac. their revulsion was literally palpable and I took some of it home with me and now it is in my stomach and whoops now it is on the keyboard
unrelated: this was the quality of ALL of o-new’s blog posts pre-2011
related: oh god the piano was just some lame yamaha and I don’t know whether it was because the stage acoustics were wonderful or because the piano was just that euphonious but man every other piano I’ve played before PALES in comparison to its delicate keys, the imperceptibly minute pedal, and the sheer range of dynamics with the softest pianissimo as easily expressible as the loudest cadences that I don’t even want to continue typing
P.S. I may not have failed but the chance is approximately 30.5% that I passed
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MY GOD EUGENE. What makes you so certain that you failed? I mean I know you’re hard on yourself, so you probably did fine. Gawd damn it. Your self-berating makes me want to puke on my 399$ MacBook, and then clean it off and play touhou on it, for I don’t have any other computers (At least ones I’m allowed to use, and have touhou on them.) Gaaaaahhhhhh SHADDUP.
2012/08/20 at 01:26
I am certain that I failed because if I were certain that I passed and I actually failed I would feel incredibly depressed. on the contrary, since I am certain that I failed, if I actually pass I’d like, buy myself ice cream and sit alone eating it in front of my computer while playing touhou with my feet
2012/08/20 at 02:52
So you’re employing self deception to control your feelings? Isn’t that a little counter-intuitive? I mean, I’m using the same method in expectations for Little Busters and Robotics;Notes, but that’s not something nearly as stressing.
2012/08/25 at 02:48
no, it’s fine because once events are sufficiently in the past they cease to be stressing: for example, although starting this blog was absolute torture now I don’t remember it at all
p.s. it’s not called self-deception if you don’t know you’re deceiving yourself… now stop talking about this before I snap out of my doublethink
2012/08/25 at 02:51
Wow, three months!? Nodame made it sound like minutes…
2012/08/19 at 16:53
Oh, I mean they have to mark it, lol. Dunno why it’d take so long though, it’s not like a written exam or anything
2012/08/19 at 17:20
That sucks. Maybe if you didn’t play so poorly next time? All those years of practicing the oboe, down the drain.
2012/08/19 at 04:24
I think part of the reason for my failure is because I failed
2012/08/19 at 05:38
After years of experience I can tell you that I find that to be the case 23% of the time, 100% of the time.
Next time try looking over at the judges and winking every now and then. They should be old and senile and find that touching. Or horrifying.
2012/08/20 at 14:23
I will become the embodiment of creepy
2012/08/20 at 17:18
You will become, the Lang Lang.
2012/08/22 at 04:38
I am very sorry…=(
When will you officially know if you really failed?
2012/08/19 at 02:10
Hmmm, I’m not sure. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for the sliver of hope that I haven’t, but… within three months, I’m sure.
2012/08/19 at 05:38