O-New: Now Extinct Website

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O-NEG 8: Killzone 2

Apologies to everyone for not posting for so long! (Blame Infinity Ward and their awesome Modern Warfare 2 game for doing so)

Alright everyone! This is Killzone 2, a First Person Shooter that is much more better than Battlefield Heroes! (Apologies Houraiguy, but BFH lags like frigging hell. :/)

^Alright Creepy Alien soldier with glaring red eyes!

Anyways, the storyline is based around two sides, the ISA, the good guys, ( even though they decided to invade Helghan) and the Helghast, which are the glowing red eyes soldier people. BTW, the Helghast are just regular humans with freaky helmets, so that overall summarizes it. The ISA send forces after forces to Helghan, attempting to rule T3H UNIVERSE! Scolar Visari, the leader of the Helghan, decide to defend the planet. You control Sergeant Sevchenko, and you attack these random people with assault rifles, sniper rifles, flamethrowers, etc. etc.

The campaign storyline is crappy, but then first-person shooters never did have a storyline in the first place. Name one first person shooter that has a good storyline. (Metal Gear is a third person) Exactly. Anyways, the enemy AI is amazing. First of all, they are not blind, and will see if you throw a grenade, and then scatter. Secondly, they actually take heavy cover, and they have amazingly large amounts of health. Approximately 1/3 of your assault rifle magazine will kill it, and its hard because of how much they duck and cover.

In addition, you are provided with a wealth of ammunition and weaponry, so you don’t have to worry about running out of ammunition that much. Overall, the weapons damage is measured precisely, so that means grenades don’t react like missiles. >.> In addition, recoil, movement, and everything else is extremely smooth in the campaign that is. (In Multiplayer, you start randomly flying through buildings when you die. Then again, all multiplayer shooters (except for MGS4 WOO!) have this, so meh) In Killzone 2, there are obviously checkpoints. However, unlike Metal Gear Solid 4, you start freezing and otherwise known as “lagging” like mad, until you pass the checkpoint. I find this somewhat takes away from the experience, so that takes away 0.5 from the overall score.

If you’re going to play the game for campaign, don’t buy it. If you’re playing for multiplayer as well, DEFINITELY BUY IT! The multiplayer is amazing. Why? Because its a complete killzone. Unlike Modern Warfare 2, where you’re stuck with only 12 players in one game, Guerilla bumped it up to an astonishing 32. Literally, its a killfest with grenades flying everywhere. In addition, you level up through the ranks, earning more weaponry, (sadly uncustomizable) that you can use to kick butt.

Most people like me play Modern Warfare 2 like I do. Here is a tip. DO NOT EXPECT TO KICK ASS AT BOTH GAMES SIMULTANEOUSLY! Firstly, it is two completely different game styles. Killzone is a killfest with no strategy whatsoever, while Modern Warfare 2 requires stealth in a way (cuz your health is puny) and you also need to use things like Harrier Airstrikes, etc. In addition, the maps are much more different. Killzone 2=dark, gloomy maps with wide open areas where you can open fire like mad. (rat tat tat) Modern Warfare 2=a whole variety of maps. In Killzone 2, all you have to get used to, is to shoot whatever moves. Thus, I play Killzone 2, when I simply want to shoot and not think. :)


O-NEG 7: Flandre’s Quest

...It's a point n' click Visual Novel, why would you need Preferences... there aren't even any choices >_>

Download Link.

...Er, look out the window.

One day, Flandre wakes up and BASHES HER WAY OUT OF THE ACCURSED SCARLET DEVIL MANSION WHICH HAS TRAPPED HER FOR CENTURIES. FINALLY, SHE IS FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF IMPRISONMENT BESTOWED UPON HER BY HER VILE SISTER. SEEKING DESTRUCTION IN EVERY FORM, SHE DIVES TOWARDS THE HAKUREI SHRINE TO SHATTER IT INTO TINY, UNRECOGNIZABLE SHARDS OF DUST.

Let's TAKE SOME TEA OUT OF THOSE PEOPLE THEN >:D

Then she realizes that Reimu’s a fellow vampire like her, so they decide to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. But to do that first, they must KILL THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IN TOUHOU – Marisa.

They meet ALICE WHO TELLS THEM THAT MARISA IS, IN REALITY, A CREEPY DOLL OTAKU.

..The irony.

Flandre says something SMART.

AND THUS THEY WILL COLLECT MANY, MANY POISONOUS MUSHROOMS FOR MARISA TO PARTAKE IN THE CONSUMPTION THEREOF

Finally, THEIR FLAN IS IN PLACE. Plan.

THEY GO TO THE FOREST OF MAGIC

WHERE THEY FIND POISONOUS MUSHROOMS

AND WIN THE GAME!

…Actually, Flan’s trying to find a birthday present for Marisa.
Cute little game that has nothing to do with world domination at all.
There are some flaws that I can see; namely that Flan’s room shouldn’t really have light coming out of it, and the absence of a picture for inside the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Also, the preferences and options at the beginning of the game are just way too overwhelming – and every single one of those preferences are unnecessary.

There’s also 80 saveslots for the game, when the whole thing takes about 15 minutes or so.

Flandre’s Quest is just a nice, relaxing brainless point n’ click; so if you’ve got nothing to do or are in a mentally depressed state of comatose, you can give this a try.

Not by any means canon, though >_>


An Organizational Voyage 11

…Yeah, who even cares about this anymore.

Anyways, as I still have not enough content (going to watch Episode 1 of Black Lagoon after posting this and browsing through forums though 8D), here’s just a list of what I want to do in summer.

As listing out everything would be too tedious, I’m just going to concentrate on ⑨ things, and rebump them when finished.

1. Work on a flash game. Attempt to finish it. (Obviously fail in the attempt).

2. Get to level 50 in Maplestory from level 0 by the 13th of July. I was going to attempt this, but… I’ve decided to quit, as it’s pretty pointless now. So instead of this, I’m going to finish Imperishable Night on Easy Mode for all 12 combinations starting with one life in both Final A and B. Why so much? Because I still suck too much to try normal mode. Or easy mode on any other game. >:O

3. Archive all files that need to be archived. Backup files. BACKUP THOSE FREAKING BOOKMARKS

4. Reorganize the blog. As you know, it looks sorta bare now, so I’ll probably just change the font type and call it “reorganized”.

5. Learn shorthand. Parents have been nagging at me to “write better”, so… shorthand. 8D

6. Have a decent understanding of Japanese and French. There are mandatory languages in high school, so I want to get ahead of them so that I can learn more.

7. Learn to draw stuff. I can’t draw stuff. I need to learn to draw stuff.

8. Remap keyboard to Dvorak layout. And then learn to type. Dvorak should be somewhat faster than QWERTY, and speed is all I care about so… yeah.

⑨. Be Cirno. …No.

And thus concludes a meaningless post that none of you had to read.

Hurrah.


O-NEB 3: Next

And yet another O-NEB. Note that I’m merely digging through my old school records now as it’s what, 8 minutes until the end of the day. Also, link at the end.

Imagine a world.

A world, where parrots can do arithmetic.

A world, where drug addiction can be cured.

A world, where your cells are not yours.

Next is a fast moving, action packed thriller by Michael Crichton. 528 pages long, it masterfully incorporates dozens of different beginning scenes into one final ending through a large, complicated web of plot twists and turns.

However, I would not recommend this book for everyone. It contains several scenes possibly inappropriate to this audience, as well as having some disturbing content, such as replacing someone’s bones with metal tubes, suicide from nitrogen inhalation, and the dissection of the vocal chords of an orangutan.

It is also somewhat violent, such as having an ear bit off, police gunfights, and an insane 12-year old skateboarder with a gun.

However, that is not why I would only recommend it to some people. The main reason is because it is quite boring – the book is just one long drawn out court case. At times it can be quite interesting, but sometimes Next is just filled with newspaper articles and talks about chemical patents.

Nevertheless, if you can withstand those things, this book is a definite must-read.

It’s actually not science fiction, or futuristic fiction.

It’s realistic fiction.

Because this is not only the world of Next,

it’s the world of now.

http://zeroharem.blogspot.com/2010/07/puchi-touhou-parte-1.html

^ Actually, a series of videos someone else made up to do with the SDM girls~! Quite cute, and there’s no Japanese so everyone can understand~


2: On Homework

…Well.

So as some of you know, weekends are a suicidal time for me, which accounts for the lack of updates.

Nevertheless, the weekend ends (durr hurr) tomorrow, so I’ll update with some anime I have left to watch (Black Lagoon YEAAAAHHHHH).

Making last minute posts right now; first here is an essay I wrote:

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.” Everyone requires preparation to accomplish anything. Preparation implies education. Education requires practice. Practice implies homework.

People think “homework is harmful to our growth as children”. However, there has been no written analysis by a child on homework, so what are you to assume that that is right?

“We didn’t have homework in the past, so why do we need it now?”

We live in an industrialized world. We have nowhere to work. We need education, not only to survive, but to use our time in the modern world. We didn’t have it in the past. But this is not the past.

Education doesn’t mean homework. However, homework is a crucial part to education. Imagine if there were scheduled blocks in school, 45 minutes long for each assignment. Those that work too quickly would have nothing to do for the rest of the block, as they are in school and do not have access to the Internet. Those who work slowly would not finish on time. By creating homework, we can write quality assignments at our own pace, letting us spend time playing computer games, or hand in finished work. Even so, there are many school-limited activities, such as field trips and assemblies, that we would not want to miss – would we really want to spend our time writing homework at school instead of participating?

“Homework also doesn’t teach us anything.” Is this based on the homework or the child?

People who don’t want to learn will not learn. If we have homework, we have an incentive to learn – to hand in an assignment on time. If we don’t, then what are we going to school for? Studies have shown that “calmer children learn more” and “more homework creates more stress”. Yes, this is true – but has there been any study on what happens without homework? If homework didn’t exist? It wouldn’t be “calmer children learn more”, it’d be “calmer children without homework learn absolutely nothing at all”. There’s no incentive for us.

Even if the blame was on the quality of the homework, that can be changed. Homework in our class is at a level that creates growth for us as students. It is beneficial to us, not only for us to learn facts, but to learn about our surroundings and about ourselves. In the past, we were able to do things with our time, such as explore new areas and learn new things. But this is the modern area. If we had free time, we’d just stay at home and play computer games. That is not learning. That is grinding.

At the end, it all boils down to philosophy. Do we want to spend our lives in repetitive “happiness” until we all die? Or do we want to advance, past the constraints of the Earth to new frontiers? As Lincoln said, to make a contribution, to start an operation, to do anything requires preparation in advance. This preparation is homework. Why do you think “to do your homework” means to prepare? If we wanted to stay back in the past and hunt mammoths all day, we would have done so. If homework was useless and we could cut it, we would have done so. But we didn’t. Why?

Because homework is necessary.


O-NEG 6: Touhou 8: Touhou Eiyashou / Imperishable Night

ONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEG…

[Wait, that looks like "one gone gone gone gone gone gone gone goneg..."]

[MUSHYHIJACK: Cause when you start playing this game you know you're gone gone gone gone gone... to hell (that well off the coast of Finland)]

So, as mushy and darkflareknight (should cough should *expectantlookhere*) know, the Touhou series revolves around a series of characters who shoot stuff and stuff that is shooting at them, which is why they are shooting at the things that are firing (“What? They’ll kill me if I don’t kill them!”). Due to the fact that you have no health bar, you get OHKO’d upon coming in contact with enemy glowy-orbs (read: “Danmaku”, meaning “bullet hell” or “curtain fire” or “HOLY CHRIZZZZ…IZZLE…-O…-IO…-EIEIO…-” etc.

(Houraiguy takes a break here as he goes off to play Frantic 1, (http://www.kongregate.com/games/polymerrabbit/frantic) testing his skills in a hopeless endeavor to acquire an impossible badge. Status: Got hit on the FIRST STAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU… but I finished Ep. 1 Frantic 2 on Frantic mode)

In Imperishable Night, you are tasked with discovering who committed THE UNPRECEDENTED SERIOUS AFFAIR in this game; namely that SOMEONE has done SOMETHING (Note: This happens for every single Touhou game, but only Imperishable Night does the following), which in this case is that AN UNKNOWN PERSON has DONE SOMETHING to the MOON, e.g. replace it with something false, e.g. a fake moon, on a certain day, e.g. the eve of a festival, e.g. a moon-viewing festival, which might affect it in some way,  e.g. make there not be a festival, and so on.

On the path to the place where the person who committed the USA, there is one (1) firefly (weak), one (1) night sparrow (eaten), one (1) teacher (regular), one (1) shrine maiden OR one (1) robber/magician/witch, followed by one (1) moon rabbit (suppos-), and either one (1) genius OR one (1) …person WHO COMMITTED THE USA in co-ordination with the genius and the supp…, er, rabbit.

Basically, you shoot people down while not getting  hit by the things the people you are shooting are shooting at you. This is pretty fun.

After completing the “Start” mode on any difficulty with no continues, the …person asks you to assassinate their rival, which you go and do (this mode is called “Extra Start”). Actually, you try and do it, but fail epicly in most examples. Before reaching the assassination target, who is immortal (something the equally immortal …person neglected to tell you), you have to beat the teacher AGAIN, except the teacher is more evil and is a were-something, and is stronger due to the fact that you replaced the real full moon in “Start” mode, so you beat down the teacher and meet the immortal, who fries you to a crisp in about 1 minute to 10 minutes, depending on how many bombs you have and how good you are at evading danmaku. Case in point:

That's one of the easy ones.

That’s one of the easy ones.

AND TO THE REVIEW PART

Gameplay: If you don’t suck, it’s pretty fun: 87/100

Graphics: Pretty good, nice effects. 93/100

Sound: Touhou music is the best music, hands down. SFX are also good. 100/100

Plotline: Just up there with the Mario games; sucks. -/100

Overall, it’s not bad to get: 92/100. At the very least, listen to Immortal Smoke.

And: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nb5Ohbt1Sg: Extra stage actually finished.

Actually:


V-NEW 2: SSoHPKC’s Videos

http://www.youtube.com/user/SSoHPKC

As it happens, I really enjoy watching videos of video game walkthroughs, mostly made by the guy above.

Obviously, this is a review, so I have review his on his walkthroughs and stuff.

SSoH does a good job of finishing a game, but he (apparently) suffers from three major problems: a) dislike of finding secrets (I love secrets, but I won’t hold it against him here), and b) difficulty completing puzzles that are not straightforward, as well as c) a somewhat lack of observation skills. He does do shooters well, as well as Mario-like games. Some of his most notable videosets: CoD: Modern Warfare 2 multiplayer (apparently he has a K/D of 3+), his Fallout 3 Walkthrough, and his Super Kaizo World Walkthrough.

95/100:

  • +Variety: 2991 videos and soon to be more, as well as about 226 videos in his original Fallout 3 walkthrough and 100 in his Modern Warfare gameplay.
  • +Commentary: Humourous live recording, not too much swearing (but still some there), nicely humourous with an enjoyable style.
  • +Active posting: SSoHPKC posts about 4-10 videos a day. This leads me to far behind on my subscriptions :/, but I have spare time NOW THAT IT’S SUMMER MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAA
  • -Puzzles: Often, SSoHPKC will end up spending a frustrating amount of time looking for the solution to an in-game problem, whilst viewers scream the answers at their computer screens, in futile hopes.

Watch his videos. I recommend starting with Fallout 3 Walkthrough (not the redux), or if you don’t like an abundance of gore, stick to either Super Mario Galaxy or New Super Mario Bros. Wii.


O-NEG 5: Battlefield Heroes

Holy hell, a review! And not just any review, it’s a O-NEG review.

“Yay.”

Battlefield Heroes is a game in which you shoot enemies and capture flags that control spawning. BFH is made for the PC platform/computer and is completely free. Download it somewhere, like the BFH website, which you can go Google it up, you completely lazy (All semi-inappropriate words to profane words have been censored with odd sounding rhymes.) [brass] [mole]. (Certain words in this O-NEG are in boldface to indicate that they are bold. No, seriously, they just are all the 1,000,000th visitor to this site.) [Duck] [shoe].

Gameplay: The Part Of The Game Which You Play

BFH is controlled by both mouse and keyboard. There are 7 (or so) maps in BFH, all with weird alliterative names (e.g. Sunset Showdown, Buccaneer Bay, Victory Village, etc.).

In 6 of these maps, the game works by the use of 4 flags (3 on Sunset Showdown) capturable by each team. If your owns a flag, respawning may happen in an area close to your flag, usually a flag that is a) closer to the center of the map, and b) on your team’s (either National [Axis] or Royal [Allied]) side of the map. Capturing the flag is done by standing within a certain radius of the flag, a process sped up by having other friendly units capture the flag simultaneously. Guns and other weapons of that type that can kill people are use to kill people, something accomplished by clicking or holding down LMB (Left Mouse Button). By being killed by the opposition, your team loses tickets, a number shown on the upper end of the screen. When a team reaches zero tickets, they lose (tickets begin at 50).

The other map with different rules is called Midnight Mayhem, in which your team must control the rocket, an object that blast off to (presumably) either Soviet Russia or Somewhere Royalish. Your team must control the rocket for a total of five nerve-breaking, hand-straining, etc. minutes to make it go (presumably) boom in either Soviet Russia or Somewhere Royalish. Gaining control of the rocket is as easy as standing close enough to the rocket and not dying until the colours on the rocket change. 88% out of a 100% O-NEG’S-HARDY-HAR-HAR (O-New’s Newest Egotist Gamers’ Sponsorship- Hourai’s Assortedly Random Derogatory Yttrium-Heaped Armed Red-Handed Appreciative Rating. I made that up on the spot O.o)

Guns: Things You Shoot People With

The guns of BFH are bought from the “store” of the game. This store accepts both in-game money and real money, but you can only use a weapon for a finite amount of time with Valour Points (in-game money earned from playing game). Weapons are all fairly balanced, barring Carl’s Cold Comfort (“That’s what she said!”) or Ludwig’s Loaded, due to the fact that these weapons suck [sock], because (note: both are identical) of both a [witty] damage and a [wucking] small clip of 6 bullets (Long Range pistols [Gerhart's Greatest and Harry's Hand Cannon] have 2 extra bullets and function like sniper rifles with improved range and firing speed, making them superior is most respects, while Short Range pistols [Florenz' Flurry and Garrett Custom] have more bullets, incredible firing speed, and the quickly-unloaded clip of 12 bullets deals insane damage @ very close ranges). Some weapons will repetitively be killing you (and you will be swearing “[duck] you!” a lot), chief among them The Cheeser/The Backscratcher (Short Range MG), Pipsqueak’s Popper/Stephan’s Sharpshooter (High Recoil-High Damage Sniper Rifle), and Royal Super Knife/Konrad’s Uber Knife (knives.) You will also probably be killed by the improved/unimproved versions of these weapons, due to their improvements/unimprovements in power/lack of power.

Because you can’t keep guns without paying real money, the weapon system in this game is kinda lame; weps are temporary unless bought w/ BattleFunds, e.g. THINGS YOU HAVE TO BUY WITH REAL MONEY. EA, you [truckers]! Corporate greed. 73% out of a 100% O-NEG’S-HARDY-HAR-HAR.

Community People and Other Crap

First off, enemies level 1 through 5 are generally idiotic to Away From Keyboard in their skill, but upwards of that, opponents can get hard to beat. Also, there are no in-game moderators, albeit there being people using a “|ccc|” code in front of their username, turning it orange, but due to the fact that there are no admins in-game, they must be false… etc. Swearing is censored in-game, which prevents players from calling each other bleepers or motherbleepers. Smug egotists are expected. 73% out of a 100% O-NEG’S-HARDY-HAR-HAR.

Graphics and Pretty Pictures

Apparently, BFH is aimed at a younger audience, as there is no blood, no clean-slicing-of-people-in-exact-halves-after-being-wingclipped-which-is-really-fun-to-do, and no flat-people-that-have-been-roadkilled-which-is-also-fun-todo-to-other-people; the game’s recommended age is 16 though (I think). Graphics are kinda CARTOONY, but at “high” level of graphics the game looks decent. 70% out of 100%.

Plotline

What plotline? N/A% out of 100%.

OVERALL

Get it if you don’t have any other FPS’ (note that BFH is a third person shooter) and have a decent internet connection. Hell, it’s free.


O-NEB 2: Running with Scissors

Alright, so this is a serious O-NEB. If you’re looking for humour, you won’t find it here. This is a joint project between “Delby” (and I).

Running With Scissors*

My all-time favourite book is Running with Scissors, a memoir written in 2002 by author Augusten Burroughs. It tells the story of Burrough’s extremely awkward childhood, beginning at the time when his mother had left him to live with her psychiatrist. at age twelve (after a brief overview of his life as a child). The book begins with Burroughs early childhood in a clean and orderly home, obsessing over his clothes, hair, accessories, and having great potential, with his parents constantly fighting in the background. His parents finally divorce, and his decision to leave with his mother leads him to Northampton, Massachusetts, where Dr. Finch, her psychiatrist, lives. Burroughs recalls how the house was always busy, with many people such as Dr. Finch’s biological and adopted children, his wife and often a couple of his patients. There was almost never a time of peace or quiet, as Dr. Finch believed that at the age of 13, anything done by any individual is their own business. In result, the children grew up in an environment where rules did not exist, and consequently,it is in these circumstances that Burroughs learned to mature. The book covers his many ‘feats’, such as having a sexual relationship with a 33 year old man when he was 13, running under a waterfall, and walking in on his mother during (lesbian) sex. Throughout the book, Burroughs learns to adapt and change to his surroundings, and nearing the end of the story, he becomes capable of making his own decisions. The book ends with him and one of Finch’s daughters, Natalie, leaving Massachusetts. The reasons why I say that this is my favourite book is not only because of the humour, but it allows me to take a glimpse of this man’s life and how hard it has been for him, yet he is still alright, even able to write a book about it. It is a fascinating read, and although the content may be more suitable for an older audience, I’d recommend this to everyone.

*Thanks Delby


O-NEG 4: METAL GEAR SOLID 4! (TACTICAL ESPIONAGE ACTION)

Alright, this is obviously an O-NEG, (hourai) but for the first time, it will be on a PLATFORM GAME!

^OMG ITS AN OLD SNAKE!

If you haven’t played this game, AND you own a  PS3, you’re like, a failure in life. If you haven’t played the rest of the Metal Gear series (like me =/), then you should at least play this one. Metal Gear Solid 4 follows the franchise’s signature style, stealth mah friend, stealth.

Er...well...I guess it's stealthy?

Anyways, you sneak around, dispatching enemies with CQC, (Close Quarter Combat), thus enabling you to strangle them, knife their throat, or use them as a MEATSHIELD!!!

heh heh...gotcha sucka

Snake now has an extremely updated arsenal. Because it’s the year 2014, he now has things such as the Solid Eye, which enables him the RADAR AND NIGHT VISION. In addition, he has the Metal Gear Mk. II, a scout machine he can control with…a PS3 controller?

[insert Mk.II pic]

The objective of the game is obviously, not to be caught. However, unlike all of the previous games, you can ACTUALLY SHOOT AND HIT PROPERLY! (OMG RLY?) In Metal Gear Solid 1, the only thing Snake was capable of was a double punch and a roundhouse kick. That’s it. In Metal Gear Solid 2, you’re updated with the fact that you can strangle people. In Metal Gear Solid 3, nothing new. For all of those games, you can only shoot standing still. Thus, you’re pathetic. However, in Metal Gear Solid 4, ALL OF THESE PROBLEMS ARE FIXED TAKE THAT WORLD!

The reason Metal Gear Solid 4 is one of the top games ever made (10/10 on IGN and Gamespot WOO) is because it’s just so free and perfect. Unlike the previous games, you DON’T HAVE to be sneaky and stealthy and stuff. You can be a complete idiot (and badass) and just walk around shooting everyone you see (not recommended though =/) That type of mode is generally used by N00BZ who can’t play stealthy, so I recommend you still play stealthy if you want the full experience. Then again, the shooting components of the game are completely refined, and they’ll feel as smooth as any other shooter you’ve played before.

LOL SUPER STRESS

In addition, there is not a single glitch in Metal Gear Solid 4. Seriously. I’ve played the entire game around 8 times through (that sums up to approximately 48 hours or so of play time) and I have not ever met a single glitch. I’m serious. There is absolutely not a single glitch. Yes, even the usual “my gun is disappearing through a wall WTF” IS GONE!

The great thing about Metal Gear Solid 4 is that Hideo Kojima has a really good sense of humor. For example, there’s this time when Otacon calls in, telling you to switch the disc. Then, he remembers and goes “Oh! We’re on the PS3! It’s a Blu-Ray disc, so we don’t need to switch discs!” (The previous Metal Gear Solid games were so big in capacity that they needed more than one disc :P)

OMG ALIENS!

A summarization of each chapter:

Act 1: You’re in like Afganistan or something, and you try to kill Liquid Snake, another old guy. On the way, you meet these bipedal huge war machines named Gekko.

LOL ur screwed

Then, you walk around and you meet this squadron called RAT PATROL 01, and then you kill a bunch of woman soldiers. (Don’t take it the wrong way :P) Then, you find Liquid, get a seizure, and watch him pathetically run away like a sissy girl.

Act 2: You go to South America, sneak around, and eventually fight this octopus woman.

MRS.OCTOGONAPUS BLARGHHHHH!

Then, you are unable to find Liquid, jump into a armored vehicle and gun down some MOAR gekko, then get introduced to a bad-ass fight between Raiden, a cyborg ninja (good), and Vamp, an immortal vampire. (bad)

Act 3: YOU STALK PEOPLE LOL

Act 4: You are back at Shadow Moses Island, a island in Alaska used to develop nuclear warheads or something like that. Then, you kill Crying Wolf, a sniper, kill Vamp, and then you board Metal Gear Rex to fight Metal Gear Ray, both amazingly large war machines, kinda like walking tanks with LAZORS.

METAL GEAR REX

Act 5: YOU INVADE THE SHIP AND YOU PWN LIQUID USING KUNGFU, AND THEN YOU WIN THE GAME!

Overall, Metal Gear Solid 4 is ossum, and so if you have a PS3, get it.


O-NEB 1: The Worm Book

[Mushyhijack: This is a O-NEB; "O-New's Endorsed Books". I made that up on the spot so it sucks. WHATEVER.]

The Worm Book

A worm flashes across the title page. It automatically lures you towards the book. You read the authors’ names: Janet and Allan Ahlberg. You decide that you have to read this book, as both the authors’ last names begin with an “A”. A must stand for Awesome. You have no choice. You are under the spell of The Worm Book, ever since you first saw the cover.

The Worm Book is an incredibly complex book; I mean, just getting the first page open is hard. To help you, I have compiled a complicated, step-by-step walkthrough on how to get the book open.

1. The first thing you needto do is make sure you are not in a warm area. Learn that the book is made out of paper, and that if it gets too hot, the book might spontaneously combust. Remember, Safety First. Smokey the Bear says: Only you can prevent forest fires.

2.  Continuing with the theme of safety, take some gloves and put them on. After that, slowly extend your arm towards the book, making sure you don’t touch the edge of the paper. Doing so could prove fatal; do you know how many people die from paper cuts each year!?! You could BLEED to DEATH!

Moving on, to the subject of the book. Covering a variety of topics, The Worm Book is mostly fictional. However, each page provides so much humour, that it doesn’t matter. Quoting from the book, “All good worms have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Worms with two beginnings, a middle and no end are apt to injure themselves. Worms with no beginning, one middle and two ends get bored.” The book moves from topic to topic each time you flip the page, you will experience great wars all over again, explore new lands and even see the Bertram Worm Circus live!

This book is terrific. Its 118.4 centimeterscubed of paper will keep you glued to the page. It is at the kindergarten vocabulary level. The Worm Book is an epic book. You have to read it.


O-NEG 3: The Company of Myself



This game. Is about a hermit.

The first level, simple and easy. Just walk over to the green box.

When you’re half-way there, new text appears.


You have now completed the first level. The instructions are easy to understand, it’s in clear text. Also, the music that accompanies it is beautiful. Things like this attract you to this game and make you want to continue playing.


Also, there is a lot of humour embedded into the dialogue of the hermit. The game continues like so until the main character learns how to create clones! (Agent Smith LOLOLOL)

Clones are transparent-y ghosty things. Shift key to make one.

The hermit continues to ramble on about stuff until there’s this flashback section. Everything is all staticky, however, there is a girl with him this time. There are a couple of levels where they have to work together, in the final flashback level, the girls has to die in order to pass the level.

The rest of the levels are simple, upon beating the game, there is a large body of text in a pretty nice font, it slowly moves down. After this cut scene, you return to the main menu screen.

Final Evaluation

Graphics: It’s nice and simple but at the same time complex. This is probably cause it’s not just a fill bucket done on an image editing software, it’s this picture that actually looks like ground. 4.5/5

Concept: Cloooooones are new for me. This game isn’t so much the game; it’s a work of art itself. Games like “Don’t look back”, “The Company of Myself” and “Loved” should be labeled something special. Abstract maybe? 5/5

Game play: The levels slowly build up, each time introducing a new skill. You have learned how to jump! After that there are a couple of challenging-ish levels. By the time you’re thinking of leaving, there are the flashback levels. The game is balanced, makes you want to keep playing.  5/5

Replayability: I would replay this game anyday. Other people, maybe not. 4/5
There’s a reason why this game is number one for the puzzle games. It’s that good. Go play it.


An Organizational Voyage 10

…Welp. This hasn’t been posted for a long time…

Alright. Just several miscellaneous stuff:

Firstly, that acronym for videos and such is now “V-NEW”. You’d expect it to be something like “Videos Nerfed (by) Electronic Webloggers”, but it’s actually “Videos Noone Ever Watches” :/

Secondly, I’mma start up updates to the site design (YES IT IS SO GOOD RIGHT NOW LOOK AT THE BEAUTIFUL TIMES NEW ROMAN), and won’t make individual system posts. Mainly just moving things ’round; I’ll add updates if there are only at the beginning of each post.

Thirdly, school still isn’t over for me, so I’ve still got stuff to do. Derp de derp.

Finally, I’ll be compiling the Summer ’10 anilist… soon.

Videos, then:

^ YUKARI IS STILL ALIVE AT THE END nico http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm11077469

^ I’d stop vid-ing music but this is just too beautiful~


O-NEG 2: Epic War 3

I have to go to sleep because I’m going to sleep soon so I’ll make the review one big, long, run-on sentence. Without any punctuation. All typed in caps.

EPIC WAR 3 IS LIKE A SUPER-DUPER AWESOME GAME WITH EXTREMELY GOOD GRAPHICS- Just kidding. This will be a proper O-neg.

The glorious title screen. Wait. Is that a walkthrough button? Why is it even there? Who uses walkthroughs? That just spoils the game! Remove that button!

When the game starts, you are required to pick a hero. Obviously, you have no clue which hero is the best, and therefore you pick the one with the coolest art. I picked the one with zoooooombies. Then, you are led to a map with several castles, you have to choose a castle and attack it.

You see one unit ready, your hero. You press forward, that’s the only button there is. Yay, you just killed a zombie! You see more units accumulating so you press the forward button about 50 more times.

After pressing it the forward button nearly over 9000 times, all your units have been built and you’re at the end of the field, chopping away at his castle. Good job, you destroyed this castle, it is now yours.

It’s not all that easy though. As your hero levels up, you get more cards. That’s good. You get more mana. That’s good. However, revenge waves are initiated once you start attacking the castle. Usually they are about 50 monsters, this means while you’re chopping away at his castle, 50 units start charging you eliminating all hope of destroying the castle. You continue to grind through these levels, upgrading cards along the way. The last level has a little surprise though. First, the revenge waves send about 50 units, then it send another 50. And another 50. Oh yeah, just to let you know, the AI also sends a titan. Since your hero has already died, nearly all your units are at very low health, you have no choice but to retreat and send a spell.

WOOHOO! After farming, grinding and more grinding, you finish the game! IT’S NOT OVER THOUGH, YOU GET TO DO THAT AGAIN, 5 MORE TIMES UNTIL YOU’VE BEATEN THE GAME WITH ALL 6 HEROS AND ATTAINED ALL THE CARDS. Oh boy. Most normal people don’t even bother completing it a second time let alone a third time. The only reason why I continued griding is cause of the “cave of trials”. These are basically reliving the last level again, except they send a specific titan and after you beat the game, you get the titan. :O

Gameplay, 4 or 9/10 (In the beginning, it’s pretty fun but gets somewhat boring at the end). Art, 5 or 10/10 (Every single castle has a different background. Also the 30 cards/units that were designed are really awesome). Concept, 7/10 (This is the 3rd epic war game, however, they changed the concept quite a bit, not just upgrading everything with better art, etc, etc.). Replayability 4/10 (The cave of trials is enticing but doing the same thing over and over again 6 times is… stupid.)

If you like Epic war 3, then go play epic war 4, it’s coming out in around a month!


Diary 3: of a mushroom

There you go, the final installation in the diary series.

Day 1

Today, nothing happened.

Day 2

Just like yesterday, nothing happened

Day 3

A leaf landed on me today.

Day 4

It rained.

Day 5

It stopped raining

Day 6

It started raining again.

Day 7

I learned that mushrooms from a faraway land are able to hold coins inside them. I wish I could do that.

Day 8

I feel that my health is growing worse, I will die so-

RIP Mushroom


Diary 2: of a dog

Since I’m gonna be swimming in the rain when this post should come out, I have to post it early. Enjoy.

(Mushy edit: actually, I’ve scheduled it for 12:01 GMT :X

Day 42

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 314

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Took a bath! Oh bummer!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Day 1337

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


Diary 1: of a cat

Oh joy, since there’s no content, you get to read the diary of a cat. Enjoy.

DAY 752 – My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.

Dry cereal is like sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. Have you ever tried Captain Crunch? Cause you’re probably eating the wrong type of cereal.

DAY 761 – Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair … must try this on their bed.

Naw, not the bed. The fridge is better.

DAY 765 – Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was…Hmmm. Not working according to plan.

Wait what? What sort of a human “coos”? I thought that was like for birds.

DAY 768 – I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called “shampoo.” What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.

Shampoo was actually invented by ancient Indian physicians. That’s like sooo racist.

DAY 771 – There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call “beer”. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of “allergies.” Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I’m allergic to cats.

DAY 774 – I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time…

Really sounds like Garfield here.


An Organizational Voyage 9

…6 hours.

…224 subscriptions.

…One excel file.

Basically, for my blogroll, I’m only going to put up the sites I’ve O-REW’d. Thus, I’ve put the other sites in an Excel file and will take them out after they’re OREW-D… that way, I can make adding links much less of a pain >_>

…Er, I don’t have much to say now… I don’t have any links either as I haven’t been active in basically anything…

Oh yes. My dad went to China for a business trip, which should’ve meant computer tiem + 1 hour for me, but unfortunately my mom’s taking a vacation during the same week. :<

Thankfully that means I’ll actually work on my project that’s due on Tuesday that I haven’t started yet.

:/


An Organizational Voyage 8

…Eh, somewhat a filler…

It’s 4 minutes ’till 12:00 GMT, so I can’t really type up anything…

Right now I’m organizing all the blogs I watch into ONE HANDY EXCEL FILE (which is EXTREMELY handy and EASY TO USE, totally)… so far an hour’s passed, but :/

Yes it’s a filler categorized in “Series”. I’ll get back to you guys on what’s happening later…


O-NEG 1: Snail

Look at that moon, it's too big

Thus begins the first O-New’s Next Entertaining Game (Review/Look/Advertisement) with a… game, Snail…!

“It is said that every full moon on a cloudy night, a small creature is granted a wish…”

And your goal is to make that wish come true, the wish for immortality!

He's grinding his teeth

You guide a small, slow, snail on its quest to NOM SIGN EAT EVERYTHING and in the process, possibly live forever…

It’s really not much of a game, more of an art-slideshow, yet the art isn’t so good either. It’s because of that, that its art isn’t professionally good and the game is basically tape your right arrow key to the keyboard, that it’s brilliant.

MUST. NOM. PLANTS.

I mean, look at this. This is so simple and cartoonish that it’s simply amazing.

Honestly, this can’t even begin to compare with the better games that are released, but we all need to relax once in a while and realize that a game, really is just, a game…

Sound was amazing too, though most likely not original. The ending slideshow was so good that I went through the game twice just to see it again…

All in all, it’s a great game if you just want to relax, but if you want something that you can actually play, I wouldn’t recommend this…

Gameplay, 5 or 9/10 (I mean, it’s so simple even trolls would understand, which is both good and bad). Art, 5 or 8/10 (Simplicity once again is a double-sided blade or whatever). Concept, 9/10 (Well, it’s… new, for me). Replayability 3/10 (The last slideshow is good, but…)

Argh that space it haunts me

Well, I suppose it does have more of a replayability if you just want to collect every last achievement…

On a side note, this is where I just want to smack Kongregate’s players in the face another time. With a spiked baseball bat.

Apparently, they’re ranting about how “Kongregate forced us to play this game”. Well, oh gee it must be the developer’s fault for making his game get badges because totally developers choose whether they get a badge or not. And, oh, I remember now, apparently getting all easy achievements was mandatory or else the Kongregate mafia would hunt you down and kill you. So that must be why you have to play this game.

If you don’t want to play it, just don’t freaking play it. Badges are badges. They are symbols that show you’ve completed something. Before, when you did something like finish the game, nobody would notice, but now they do because of badges. Badges aren’t something to strive towards. It’s a side reward after you do something.

Sure, you can say it’s not a game. But what’s the definition of a game? It’s something that requires user input. This requires user input. You need to press and hold the right button. Sure, you could say that that’s too easy to be a game, but what about sniper games? All you need to do is click the mouse! And tower defence, you only need to click the mouse multiple times as well! Besides, a game is a game, who cares about the definition? It got a badge, you probably got the badge, and if you hate the game keep your comments to yourself, because you probably only got there because of the badge. Honestly, in my opinion people who play games purely for badges should be disallowed to comment, for they are most of the time terribly biased. “Oh this badge is too hard 1/5″ Yeah, good for you. The badge isn’t too hard. You just suck too much.

Well, at least the rest of Kong’s community are awesome enough to downrate the trolls who go “1/5″ at everything. But still, that doesn’t do anything. Kongregate needs a paradigm shift past this badge-oriented activity and into actual gaming, when we’d play for fun, not rewards. If you play just for badges, that’s basically like a Chinese gold farmer, who plays because he has to. Now, he actually does have to play to survive but if you’re on a flash game site like Kongregate, where you don’t get any monetary rewards for playing, where’s the necessary incentive? What makes you “have” to play? If we cut down the internet connection, would you die because you didn’t get a badge?

Nope, sorry. Unless you were stupid enough to commit suicide.

Anyways, [/rant] and play Snail…! It’s an awesome game, but… well, let’s just say don’t play it if you’re running out of time…

Video:

^ Touhou melody remix…!

And then he became god :/


An Organizational Voyage 7

…So. I organized all of my reopen lat0rz and registered for all of the forums so now all I need to do is actually read them…! Anyways, links and videos (published from school O_o):

http://gizmodo.com/5535298/how-to-force-anyone-to-follow-you-on-twitter

^ Twittar bug exploited and fixed; all followers and following were reseted to 0, but I seem to have just missed it :/

^ …Feed a Starving Young Canadian Composer award..! PV; Actual link here. Participate…!

^ Moar ossim night of nights (guitar) – nico http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm10661174

^ ..Japanese make everything ossimer. Even microsoft. :/

^ Italian parody of the OP for Hokuto no Ken…. doesn’t need any more comment…

Then some UTAU stuff. Nico links weren’t there :/


An Organizational Voyage 6

…So for some reason, I’m watching too much anime  (or enough that I still can’t get organized)..

I’ll follow through with my previous plan except with only one episode of anime a day, and also focus on my test (that I got 44.5% on last time >_<;). In other words, I’ll be pretty busy this week..

Also, I’ll also register for the myriad of forums I have in my backup tabs, just because registering earlier gives moar ossimness.

Links then:

http://www.thebostonchannel.com/news/23264052/detail.html

^ So this guy didn’t hold open the elevator door, so he got beaten with.. a pan of pasta. What a waste of pasta.

http://www.benjoffe.com/code/games/torus/

^ …An amazingly addictive game… 3D tetris O_o (though in reality it’s just normal tetris with a continuous side instead of walls)

http://techdirt.com/articles/20100503/1850169293.shtml

^ …Apparently Fox News doesn’t like people who take content off the web, and call that “illegal”, but they’re doing it themselves..

http://www.mercurynews.com/bay-area-news/ci_15017536

^ Google changed their look, as of yesterday; I’m sure you guys noticed…

http://searchengineland.com/yes-more-seeing-new-google-36964

^ …Older article about the testing that happened…

http://www.hiwiller.com/2010/04/29/if-mario-was-designed-in-2010/

^ …What would happen if mario was made in 2010… though the graphics would suck more, too :P


1: On Television Advertising

…OK, just ah essay I wrote on television advertising (without any links):

A while ago, I decided to watch TV.

The annoying things were the advertisements. There was one that advertised a knife. It could chop through vegetables, chop through meat, chop through mushrooms, and chop through your hand. A grater, potato peeler, and xacto-knife were built in.

This was a good deal. Then, they added in a steak knife, and a fish knife, and several vegetable knives, and measuring spoons of different sizes, and several pairs of chopsticks, and some forks and spoons, and a salad knife, and a bread knife, and a butter knife…

There were 96 knives inside the set. They then added another set, so there were 192 knives. If you called within 15 minutes, they would add another bunch of knives; in total, it was still $29.99.

These advertisements seemed unnecessary and also strange.  Why would they take a knife that was reasonably priced, and add hundreds of other knives? It wastes money and resources.

The company may have too many knives to sell out. However, this advertisement was repeated, so they were constantly selling knives at rock bottom prices. The cost of mining the metals to create the knives probably outweighs the sales price.

The knives may lack quality.  Quality is better than quantity, and these knives overdo the latter. How do they generate sales with products so dirt cheap that you know they’re worthless?

Advertisements also overdo quality. Why buy a cow if you can get milk for free? If you live without a car right now, then why would you need a car later? Some advertisements advertise overly expensive objects, such as the built-in Automatic GPS system, or Automatic Recliner, or Artificially Intelligent Seatbelts and Ashtrays. How do they generate sales with products so expensive that no one will buy them?

Instead of getting what we pay for, we see advertisements half of the time on TV. The companies must use massive sums of money to buy that TV time; but does anyone remember those advertisements? Will they think about buying them? And do they actually have the money?

Buying things through an advertisement is hard. It is not easily accessible; while you can use a shopping coupon in person, you need to phone the TV companies to get their order.

Advertising is annoying, but it is an integral part of society. It is useless; however after many years of watching TV, we have grown accustomed to seeing them. The world would seem much different without advertising, whether in good or bad ways I cannot tell.

The above opinions may be incorrect, as I have no experience dealing with advertisements. Honestly, even though they cost only $29.99, I don’t want to test out whether those 15-cent knives are useful or not. Why?

Because advertisements are annoying.


An Organizational Voyage 5

…And yes, as I mentioned in my previous blog post, Maple grinding is complete. I have reached level 30. YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

..Anyways, I still have a couple of trades to attend to, but Maple is almost completely off my list of stuff to do now….!

So for today and tomorrow, I’ll be browsing through forums, google reader (ahem over 1000 entries), and youtube; so I won’t really be doing anything productive…. WHATEVER

…School-wise, two important exams are coming up next week, like, spend-money important exams, so I /should/ be studying for them. Eh, I’ll do that later.

I’ve finished the first draft of my report, but need to finish it, and have 4 more assignments that are now overdue, and another project to start research on. However, I should be done with overdue stuff by the end of this week, as long as something like *cough cough* MapleStory *cough cough* doesn’t hold another event… By the way, I’m not addicted.

…Anyways, yeah… that’s the plan for the next few days. My desk looks messy as hell too, so I might want to organize that >_> Link (haven’t been doing anything):oyage

http://www.gamezebo.com/news/2010/05/04/zynga-leaving-facebook

^ Facebook is being evil, so zynga might withdraw and start their own system…