[MUSHYHIJACK: I have rescheduled this post to clear January 13th - February 15th of any posts. The original posting date was January 25th.]
Imagine for a moment that the simple things in life become the most difficult. Everything is turned upside down. What if it were easier to be cold and distant than to be warm and friendly? What if saying “thank you” felt unnatural and impossible?
It’s a manga about football. Go and read it.
[MUSHYHIJACK: This isn't the actual review.]
[MUSHYHIJACK: Due to a communication breakdancer, abd's posting this on Remembrance Day over here in Canadia, which is the 12th in England now. BUT THIS IS A CANADIA POST And no, this is not A Numerical List.]
At the end of the Second World War, Canada had the world’s third largest standing volunteer army and the fourth largest air force. Sixty-five years later, the military situation in Canada has clearly changed, but our history has not. This list examines 10 significant battles in the 20th century that featured the Canadian Forces. It is by no means complete – which is sad in so many ways.
1) Battle of Vimy Ridge (April 9 – April 12, 1917)
The Battle of Vimy Ridge occurred during the Battle of Arras, a British offensive in the north of France near the Belgian border. The objective of Vimy Ridge was to capture the German position at the northern most end of Arras to prevent the Germans from pounding the advancing southern forces with artillery. This battle marked the first time in the war that all four Canadian divisions fought together and has been a symbol of nationalistic achievement and sacrifice ever since. It is arguably the most famous battle fought by Canadian forces in the 20th century.
At the end of the three days, close to 3,600 Canadians had been killed, and another 7,000 had been wounded. It is estimated that 4,000 German soldiers were taken prisoner.
2) Battle of Hong Kong (December 8 – December 25, 1941)
Less than eight hours after the Japanese raid on Pearl Harbour, 52,000 Japanese soldiers descended on Hong Kong from the neighbouring Guangdong province. In defense of Hong Kong were 14,000 British troops including soldiers from India, and close to 2,000 Canadian soldiers. By December 11, the British forces were forced to evacuate from Kowloon, and by December 13, they had been pushed back to Hong Kong Island. The Japanese quickly achieved air supremacy in the first days of fighting, and the remaining ships of the Royal Navy had been ordered to retreat to Singapore. On December 18, Japanese forces landed on Hong Kong island, and a week later, British forces surrendered.
All 1,975 Canadian personnel were either killed, wounded, or taken prisoner. Hong Kong civilians suffered 7,000 casualties during the battle itself. The Battle of Hong Kong marked the first time a British colony had surrendered to an invading force.
3) Dieppe Raid (August 19, 1942)
The main objective of the Dieppe Raid was to seize and hold the port of Dieppe for a short period of time in order for the allied forces to sabotage German defenses and to gather intelligence from captured German prisoners and from the assessment of the German response. It was, in short, a disaster. The plan called for a traditional frontal assault up the beaches, which was held off by German machine gun positions. Coupled with ineffective Armour and Artillery support, no Air support, and poor intelligence of the German forces in the area, commanders were forced to call a retreat four hours after the start of the battle. No main objectives were achieved.
The Canadian forces suffered just under 3,400 casualties in those four hours compared with the 600 casualties suffered by the Germans. If there is a bright side in all this, the allied forces learned major lessons from Dieppe, which would lead to the success of the Normandy landings almost two years later, including the development of specialized armoured vehicles, the realization of the need for heavier naval artillery bombardments beforehand, and the inclusion of a preliminary aerial bombardment. It has been said that “For every man who died in Dieppe, at least ten more must have been spared in Normandy in 1944.”
4) Battle of Ortona (December 20 – December 28, 1943)
Ortona sits on the eastern coast of Italy, bordering the Adriatic Sea. By 1943, it was one of the few usable deep water ports remaining in Italy, which made it a valuable objective for the Allies. Winston Churchill would later call the Battle of Ortona “Little Stalingard” in reference to the close-quartered fighting that occurred over the eight days. The Canadian forces prevailed using a new tactic they dubbed “mouse-holing” where a hole would be blown through the shared wall of adjacent houses. The Canadians would then throw in grenades and assault through the upper floor.
The Canadians suffered 1,375 fatalities during Ortona, with another 964 men being wounded. After 8 days, the German forces, who had been ordered to “fight for every last house and tree” withdrew, their losses were unknown.
5) Juno Beach (June 6, 1944)
The D-Day landings at Normandy was the successful attempt of the Allied forces to gain a foothold and to begin retaking Europe. On the first day, 170,000 men landed on the beaches of Normandy, 21,400 of these being Canadians tasked with clearing “Juno” Beach. In comparison, Juno Beach was the second most heavily defended beach of the five with pillboxes and fortifications lining the entire beach with the water heavily mined. However, Juno was defended by one of the weakest divisions in Normandy consisting of static German troops with no transport capabilities and no combat experience, augmented with Soviet “volunteer” troops from the east.
By the end of D-Day, the Canadians had advanced close to 10km into France, the furthest out of the Allied forces. Following D-Day, the Canadians linked up with British forces advancing in from neighbouring Sword beach. The Canadians suffered 1,000 casualties on the first day of the Normandy invasion, including 340 deaths.
6) Battle of the Scheldt (October 2 – November 8, 1944)
With the Allied forces stretched for hundreds of kilometers from Normandy to the French/German border, there was an urgent need to secure the ports of Antwerp to ease the logistical burden of supplying the invasion forces. After the failed Operation Marketgarden, the Germans had ample time to prepare their defenses around the Scheldt estuary. The five weeks of fighting were marked with numerous amphibious assaults, obstacle crossing, and assaults over open ground. The Germans defended the Scheldt with artillery and snipers and both the water and land were heavily mined.
At the end of the battle, the Canadians had suffered just under 6,400 casualties, half of all the Allied casualties in the Scheldt. This led to another conscription crisis back at home. The Germans suffered similar casualties to the Allies, in addition to the 41,000 prisoners who surrendered to the Canadians. The loss of Antwerp was a huge strategic blow to German forces, and it was one of the objectives marked out for the Battle of the Bulge in mid-December.
7) Battle of Kapyong (April 22 – April 25, 1951)
The Battle of Kapyong, during the Korean War, saw Australian and Canadian forces defending the Kapyong valley, en route to Seoul, against forces from the Chinese Communist People’s Volunteer Army. On April 22, an estimated 10,000 Chinese soldiers flooded into the Kapyong valley in an attempt to dislodge the Australians and Canadians. Despite being outnumbered at least five to one, the Canadians and Australians were better equipped and better trained than the Chinese combatants. After nights of heavy bombardments, on both sides, and waves of attackers, the Chinese were forced to withdraw from the valley in the late afternoon of April 25th.
Throughout the ordeal, the Canadians suffered a total of 33 casualties. In contrast, the Chinese forces retreated leaving behind an estimated 1,000 dead soldiers. The Battle of Kapyong is the most famous action undertaken by the Canadian forces during the Korean War. Total casualties between 1951 and 1953 include 1,558 Canadian soldiers – 516 of those as fatalities.
8) The Vietnam War (November 1, 1955 – May 15, 1975)
Though the Canadians never took part in any battles during the Vietnam War, I have included it in this list due to the unfortunate impression that Canada did nothing during the Vietnam War. It is estimated that Canada sold $2.47 billion worth of war materiel and supplies to the United States between 1965 and 1973. Canadian facilities were used for training and weapons testing by the US forces. Around 30,000 Canadians volunteered to join the US forces to fight in south-east Asia. As well, Canada deployed a small force into Vietnam to enforce the 1973 cease-fire. 110 Canadians were killed in Vietnam.
9) Battle of Medak Pocket (September 9 – September 17, 1993)
The Battle of the Medak Pocket took place during Canada’s peacekeeping mission in Croatia. During 1991, Croatia moved for independence from Yugoslavia, resulting in Croatian Serbian rebels establishing the internationally unrecognized Republic of Serb Krajina. Major human rights violations occurred, perpetuated by both the Serbs and the Croatians before a ceasefire was agreed on. The UN sent in peacekeeping forces to police the area. On September 9th, the Croatians violated this ceasefire and attacked Serbian forces. When the Canadian peacekeepers were sent in, the Croatians attacked them as well, believing that the Canadian forces would instantly withdraw, as previous UN forces had done before due to their restrictive mission mandates. This was not the case, and the Croatian commander quickly negotiated a cease-fire and withdrawal with the Canadian commander.
Four Canadians were wounded by Croatian artillery as the peace-keeping forces took up the abandoned Serbian positions. Depending on the source, the Croatians suffered either 27 casualties (Canadian) or 94 casualties (Croatian). However, there is still continual denial of this incident occurring in Croatia, due to the discovery of war crimes committed by the Croatian forces.
10) Battle of Panjwaii (July 2006, September – October 2006)
The first phase of the Battle of Panjwaii occurred during the summer of 2006, where Canadian forces, supported by Afghan forces, went into the Panjwaii area in Afghanistan to clear Taliban strongholds. Fighting lasted from July 8th to August 19th. After July, following the departure of Canadian and Afghan forces, the Taliban quickly re-established their hold over Panjwaii. The second phase was spearheaded by the Canadians again forcing the Taliban to retreat after weeks of fighting. The Taliban are no longer present in large numbers in Panjwaii.
Throughout the fighting, the Canadian forces sustained 16 fatalities, including Canada’s first female combat arms casualty, and another 50 soldiers wounded. Sadly, the vast majority of these casualties came from a friendly fire incident where an American A-10 strafed Canadian Forces who had called in an air strike on Taliban positions. It is estimated that Taliban forces suffered between 500 – 1,000 casualties in these months.
Some notable omissions: Battle of Somme, Battle of the Atlantic, Liberation of the Netherlands
[MUSHYHIJACK: Also guiz, happy October the first :V]
I have previously listed several other Kongregate games in O-NEGs and other game-related posts; these should be included in the list, but they’ren’t (That should be proper grammar, “they aren’t”, lol)
And yes, this is kinda an ad. And these games aren’t strictly limited to Kong.
BUT STILL! IT’S WORKING FOR YOU FOR EVERY SECOND! IF YOU NEED ENTERTAINMENT BY SOME CHANCE! YEAH……….
Portal The Flash Version
Achievement Unlocked (and 2)
This is the Only Level (and Too)
Boxhead 2Play Rooms
5. Boxhead 2Play Rooms, by SeanCooper
This is a game with an “unique” art style, where “unique” means “interesting” in the same way a cabbage turnip tomato bittermelon onion tea is interesting. As said in the title, everything has a box for a head*, and there are Rooms and this game can be played by Two Players (not a common feature). So the title doesn’t lie (+1 star). It lists pretty much everything in the game (+0.5 stars)**. And, although there are only 10 weapons, they are vertasile versatile and fun. Really fun. (+1 star)
How To Play This Game: Mode 1
“Single Player Mode”/”Cooperative Mode”
This mode allows you to choose from 18 maps to Battle The Evil Zombie Infestation with Guns and Fun.
Each map is a white, boxy area with several red boxes in it. These red boxes will provide ammunition and health when picked up (e.g. trampled by boxy shoes). Health will not be provided when your health is full, but ammunition may be provided to weapons with full ammunition. Red boxes will routinely respawn after being flattened, always appearing in the spot it was before (respawn times of about a minute).
At the beginning of the game (level 1), you will only be provided with a Pistol, which has infinite ammo. To unlock new things, one must kill zombies to gain Rewards as the following system dictates.
When a undead is killed, your Combo increases. Over time (and actually pretty quickly), your Combo will fall, one multiplier at a time. (The higher the combo, the faster it’ll fall.) By reaching certain levels of Combo, the player character gains improvements to his current weapons (ammunition count, damage, range) as well as New Weapons. You will not lose an upgrade if your Combo falls below the Combo that was required to unlock the upgrade.
Death marks the end of the game.
Co-op mode is slightly different from the Single Player mode. The game will only end when both (remember: 2Play, not 19846931Play) players hath perisheth. :/ Players will respawn after about 15-30 seconds of time of death (with only a Pistol :/), provided the other player manages to stay alive for this duration. Also, there are three optional features of this game (turning off any of these only merits the loss of your ability to submit High Score).
3. Friendly Fire.
The Friendly Fire feature allows both the ability to be run over by your partner’s Rockets/Shotgun spamming and the ability to be killed by your own explosions (Charge Packs, Rocket Launchers, Barrels, Claymores/Mines)
The Collision feature allows you to walk through the undead army (I think) as well as Fake Walls, a type of wall placed by the player (destructable).
Demons are the other enemy of 2Play. These enemies are greatly distinguishable from their zombie underlings in that they hold several characteristics:
1. They can instantly vaporise your Fake Walls.
2. They can shoot FIREBALLS (will only shoot when a player is within a certain radius; also, these fireballs will set off Barrels, damage Fake Walls, damage You, and damage zombies (two hit kill).
3. They are red.
So we see that the demons are actually quite easy to distinguish from zombies. :/
Another miscellaneous bonus of 2Play is the customizable controls. Uncommon and minor as this is, it’s still pretty helpful. Also, you can choose to skip ahead several levels for convenience’s sake (starting from these levels, your player is granted several weapons and some Combo)
“Death Match Mode”
As this is a 2Play game, it is fitting to have a competitive battle mode. Here, all upgrades are initially unlocked and no zombies spawn whatsoever. Players may choose to wall off and barrellify the map as they so please, and it is worth noting that players have low amounts of health (Rockets = instant kill, Uzi = two-hit kill, Shotgun = two-hit kill, etc. Only the Pistol really does any mediocre damage.) This is ridonculously fun for some reason. No online fighting D:
4. This Is The Only Level & This Is The Only Level TOO*** by jmbt02
TITOL and TITOLTOO both revolve around the same concept: Do crap with an elephant to Finish The Level, of which there is only one (Again, the title tells the truth! GASP.). It is worth noting that there are Stages, which basically replaced the concept of levels in these games. TITOLTOO is a fair amount harder than TITOL, be warned. YOU WILL RACK YOUR BRAINS. Also, the “Blind, Deaf, and Dumb” level was kinda vague. It has something to do with “deaf”, hinty hint. There are 30 levels stages in each. Enjoy the wobbly elephant. Also, the wagon means WASD.
Fun: It racks your brains without damaging them (e.g. making you smarter, like games such as “Mario Math” or “Mastur Cheef Does Long Division” would do). 1337.
Music: TITOLTOO has the best music in a game ever, excludes Touhou. Accordions. F. T. W.
Gameplay: Find the gimmick to the level stage. Exit the level. Avoid the spikes. Panic when necessary. Don’t be afraid to go to the main menu; the game autosaves. Simple. Easy. Fun.
3. Kongai by Kongregate
Indeed, this game is exclusive to the site that it’s made by. Go Greg. Anyway, this is the only multiplayer game on this list, mostly because I find Elements has too much luck and Platform Racing 2 has too much lag.
Kongai is like Pokemon. Except you don’t have to deal with all that type effectivity doohickey and doodads.
Here is the game explained in a nutshell.
Kongai In A Nutshell (With Pictures To Go With The Words)
Kongai is, sadly, turn-based, but this does not mean it is like Pokemon (ohwaitdidIsayitwaslikePokemonbefore?ohsh*tIthinkIdid). It’s fun. Dang. I can’t describe it. It’s like Elements, but with more Pokemon, but no RPG parts, and collectibles. Part of the fun is the Items.
The items, as shown by an absence in the above diagram, are a crapload of stuff you can equip onto your characters. This makes for a lot of fun times, because free choice is entertaining (to a point). Mindreader’s Chalice or Healing Salve or Origami Crane or Null Matrix or Hero’s Flagon or Knight’s Emblem or Ring of Curses or Blood Vial or Necronomic Tome or WHATEVER stuff there is. Basically, you can equip your characters with one of 11 choices.
Also psychology and guessing are a major factor.
Yeah, I give up on describing Kongai. It’s fun.
2. Portal, the Flash Version
It’s Portal basically, only in 2-d.
1. Epic Battle Fantasy 3
It’s not just a continuous string of battles like the last two. ITS AN RPG. AND IT’S AWESOME.
I refuse, in the name of sloth, to say anything more.
*If it has a head.
**Short of the weapons.
***Not a typo. Yes, TOO. It’s a pun that I can tolerate. Amazing.
Sick, but I’m sure Mushy will have something.
[MUSHYHIJACK: SOMETHING YOUR FACE DAMMIT]
You could read my essay if you’d like but it sucks and it would basically be filler
[MUSHYHIJACK: Ya guys probably have had enough of this, so I'm stopping this. :V ModkillpowerabuseYEAH]
Created by a friend, you can call him Topher the Gopher
And so, to this day, it is said that every spring, the Ghost of Mary Turner returns to Camp Elphinstone seeking her lost child. She wanders the camp, on the beaches, in the forest, by the dock and in the cabins seeking a child, any child to replace her own.
The students sat silently as the teacher stopped speaking, “Sleep well,” she murmured. “It’s only a story.”
As the children left, they whispered to each other, and the teacher immediately regretted the story as she heard the conversations: “I’m going to sleep outside, so I can run away when she comes”, or “I’m going to stay awake all night”. They were obviously exaggerations, but she hoped none of them would actually do what they were saying. But amidst the chattering crowd, one student, Jonas, remained silent. The teacher (named Mrs. McGregor) was surprised. Jonas usually wasn’t silent, but he certainly had an uncanny way of “telling the future”, to be able to predict things that were going to happen, and this time he looked grim. Mrs. McGregor went up to him: “Jonas, why do you look so worried?” Jonas replied: “It’s just that… I’m in Cabin 13 and all that, and I just feel like the Ghost of Mary Turner is going to get one of us.” “Don’t worry, Jonas, remember, it’s only a story.” As he silently made his way back to the cabin, the closed the door and the light turned off.
Mrs. McGregor stood there, chilled to the bone even though she had both her fleece and her windbreaker on. He was right, she thought. Anyways, she decided to “take a walk in the woods”, but she was actually doing something else. She was going to transform.
Years ago, she had been on this very same excursion, but then just because she was lured to something, in the forest, that seemed to be calling her. But now, she was doing it as her duty. “The Haunter”, as he was called, was a spirit, who lured female teachers and camp Councillors to him… each year, so they would transform. In this case, transform meant to turn into the ghost of Mary Turner. As she stood outside his grove, he called her in: “Here are your garments. Go immediately. Get me a child, oh, before midnight?” What the “Haunter” did was he took all the child’s memory for himself, and then multiplied it to give the child his memory back. The reason for this was so that he would become more powerful, and then, after he had the knowledge of 1000 men, he could join the Council of Spirits.
As Mrs. McGregor went along the trail, she knew of just the person the Spirit could use. That person was Jonas. As she glided gracefully along the path, invisible to all in her camouflage robe. However, Jonas woke with a start, and felt something… a great evil had entered the Camp. Could it… could it be the Ghost of Mary Turner? He prepared himself for the worst, and, as usual, put on his good luck charm. He put his grass-green rain jacket on, and slid open the back window. He jumped out, and sprinted into the woods.
Meanwhile, Mrs. McGregor (or more accurately, the Ghost of Mary Turner) silently slid open the door. From first glance, she didn’t see Jonas, and after looking in each bunk, she still couldn’t find him. Then, finally, she found the window open. Jonas! And to confirm this, she slid out and saw a piece of paper, the timetable! And at the top, clearly stated in ink, it read “Jonas” in an untidy scrawl.
Jonas had found an enormous mountain of leaves lying outside the grove, and he presumed it must have some evil purpose related to the Ghost. Then he saw something, a glistening object, and pulled it off. It was a small golden amulet, inset with rubies and emeralds.
As he turned around, a creepy voice behind him said: “so you’ve found it, have you.” As he turned he saw a black phantom that quickly grabbed hold of him. He led him inside the grove. Mrs. McGregor came in, and the Spirit said menacingly “Well done, Jonas Brown. Hand over the amulet to me.” Jonas replied “Never!” The Spirit was so surprised that he let go of him, and Jonas sprinted into the woods. “Not so fast”, the Spirit said, closing the exit of the grove. “We have matters to discuss.” Jonas suddenly felt cold. Bitterly cold. “Sit in that chair,” the Spirit said menacingly, with an evil smile to boot. Then Jonas noticed the “chair,” if you could call it that. It was a huge bundle of vines and ivy that hardly looked like a chair at all. But he sat down in it, not wanting to be bullied any longer. As soon as he sat down, he began to feel drowsy, but did his best to keep awake. Something was happening. First, he couldn’t remember his full name. Then he forgot where he was. He forgot what 1+1 was. He put up some feeble resistance, and put all his energy into it. Slowly, it grew stronger. The Spirit couldn’t put up with such resistance. No child had ever been so resistant…
Jonas could feel the Spirit’s power waning. He now had more energy, and suddenly, more memory. He was swallowing all the thoughts and knowledge of all those unfortunate children whose memories the Spirit now had.
Gradually, the Spirit grew paler and whiter. Soon, he was only a black silhouette, then a gray silhouette, and finally nothing at all. The grove opened up. The night felt different, as if some force of nature had lifted, which indeed it had. Mrs. McGregor said “Thank you, Jonas. I always hated knowing that someone else controlled me.
The next day, the leaders, particularly the female ones, seemed more uplifted, more fun. Jonas had lots of fun that week, and during shelter building, he saw the grove. And he thought through the sunlight that the ghost of the Mary Turner, happy, and not possessed by another soul, another body. And forever after, he and Mrs. McGregor maintained a good relationship, which some people could not understand. But he could.
GHOST OF MARY TURNER: YUCHOY EDITION
[THIS STORY HAS 911 WORDS :O. That is like fricking…? Oh nvm. Openoffice must be glitchy. ]
“And so to this day, it is said that every Spring, the ghost of Mary Turner returns to camp Elphinstone seeking her lost child. She wanders the camp, on the beaches, in the forest, by the dock and in the cabins seeking a child, any child, to replace her own.”
The students sat silently as the teacher stopped speaking, “Sleep well,” she murmured. “It’s only a story.” The teacher, Ms. Darred, left the cabin immedietely after, leaving the atmosphere in its ominous state. “Heh, what a dumb story.”:exclaimed Mark. He was the oldest of all of the children, and sometimes acted as their leader. He had matted brown hair, brown eyes, and bags under his eyes. “Well, I’m going to sleep now, so no one bother me got it?” “Yes, Mark.” replied the entire cabin in unison. Mark sneered, and a few minutes later snores were heard. On the other side of the cabin, whispers were heard instead. “My mom believes in ghosts, and I’ve heard this story before.” said Jason. Jason was quite the timid little boy. He was the smallest in the class, quite the opposite of Mark. He had black hair, with glasses, and a light shade of blue in his eyes. “She says its really true.” “In fact,” Jason’s voice diminished to an almost inaudible whisper. “my mother said that she even met the ghost of Mary Turner herself.” “No Way!” whispered the other members in the cabin. Jason nodded. “She told me that when she came to Camp Elphinstone, the story was slightly different.” All eyes (and ears of course) pointed towards Jason. “The story went, that a long time ago…Ok seriously who is pointing that light under me?” Jason looked down, and saw Billy. “Heh heh…sorry thought it’d add to the atmosphere.” Jason continued “Anyways, the story was that the lost child of Mary Turner was quite the spoiled brat.” “Anyways, the story went that the child of Mary Turner had brought a cell phone to Camp Elphinstone, obviously with no one but him and his mother.” “During canoeing, Mary Turner and him were in the same boat, as Mary Turner volunteered to help out.” Jason paused. “A glass of water, please.” Three kids scattered and returned with a glass of water. “Thanks” Jason continued. “Then, Mary Turner’s child dropped his cellphone in the water, and he dove for it.” “His mother followed suit, and dove in with him” Jason paused, and exclaimed “Honestly Billy! That lights blinding me!” Billy quickly turned off his flashlight, “Alright, alright.” Jason cleared his throat, “Anyways, the water was freezing cold, and Mary Turner’s child had taken off his life jacket. The only choice left was for Mary Turner to take her sons place in the grave, and give him her life jacket.” Jason yawned, and while he was preparing his sleeping bag, he said “After that, her child came back, every day crying for his mother.” “ Apparently Mary Turner still can’t find his child, so the tale goes that she has changed plans.” The kids exchanged nervous glances. “Wh-wha-what plans?” said one. Jason replied “Well, it says that shes replacing her child with one thats similar.” “Apparently, her memory is somewhat fading, and all she can remember her child by is that cellphone, the cause of her death.” With that, Jason got ready to go to bed and just before going into his sleeping bag, he said “Even the legends were true, its not like anyone here has a…
BA-LA-DA-LA-DA-LA-DA-DA The tune of a cellphone ringing filled the room.
-cellphone” finished Jason
“Oops, sorry” said Mark. He had been woken up by his cellphone ringing. He turned to the other kids. “Sorry, you can all just go back to-” “Hey, what’s up?” “Whatcha all staring at for?” “Do I have a pimple on my face or something?” He looked back. Everyone stared at him, with an extremely pale expression. “HONESTLY, WHAT’S THE BIG IDEA?” shouted Mark!
*Knock Knock Knock*
Someone, or something, was knocking on the door.
Everyone looked at Jason. Jason gulped. “W-well, ghosts can’t knock, so hehe, it might be just someone from the teachers cabin right?” Billy exclaimed “But if it was a teacher, wouldn’t they have a key to get in?” Jason gulped, and felt sweat pouring down. Suddenly, he heard the lock click. He breathed a sigh of relief.
The door flew straight of its hinges, and suddenly something flew in. Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it Superman? No, it was the ghost of Mary Turner. The ghost swooped down, and in one swift movement, grabbed Mark, and carried him away, his screams fading into the darkness.
And so from this day on, a new rule was made in Camp Elphinstone. Do not bring any electronics, cellphones, or alarm clocks to Camp Elphinstone. You have been warned.
I’ve deleted all stupid posts. >:(
I’m not sure whether or not the YuChoy one is true.
But argh can’t you guys have any semblance of organization :<
awesomebananadancer will not be posting until like August 6th due to an exam.
yuchoy will not be posting till an undefined period of time as right now, he is in California.
Houraiguy will also probably not be posting until mid-August due to vacation leave.
[Mushyhijack: wait what are you doing :/]
Alright, so the authors from O-new will be making personal profiles about themselves. However, we need your help to pick questions (because we’re obviously stupid and incompetent).
Basicallt, in the comment box, write a question you want each of us (or some of us) to answer.
So, this is a joint post between yuchoy and awesomebananadancer.
Mushy doesn’t like rice or noodles so he won’t be participating (even though he’s within arms reach right now). Mushy is completely neutral and he won’t be participating. (Mushy will probably edit all of this later) [MUSHYHIJACK: CITATION NEEDED >:( Also is this some kind of a podcast thing]
[ABD RESPONSE: uh... you would hear our voices though, and be able to stalk us. that wouldnt be good]
Yuchoy: There’s nothing good about rice, I mean, it’s just white.
awesomebananadancer: HOLY CRAP. That’s sooo rice-ist.
ABD: Anyways, rice is better than noodles. I mean, how would sushi work? The noodles would like all fall out. Also, CHEER-ios and noodles are made out of rice.
Yuchoy: lol i was allergic to sushi until like 2 months ago…and with NOODLES, YOU HAVE “BOWL NOODLE SOUP SAVEUR DE KIMCHI FLAVOUR”
ABD: Yeah, you were allergic cause you were lactose-intolerant, hehe. And also, bowl noodle soup has MSG, which can be turned into an SMG. Which can be turned into an SMG MGS (metal gear solid) which can’t be used in GMS (Global maple story)
Mushy: CHAIRS CAN EAT FRENCH FRIES IF THEY ARE COMPELLED TO
Yuchoy: uhhh… lolwut? In a few seconds, I’ll turn into a gundam warrior
ABD: Pineapples are better than chips because they’re spiky. However, in Bloons Tower defense, they explode.
Yuchoy: *bursts into the room carrying a gian nerf gun, an axe and a wooden shield.
Mushy: *attacks with chair*
ABD: And thus concludes the battle between rice and noodles.
[MUSHYHIJACK: Fused this with the other post, sorry]
Monday, June 28.
Our school had an awards assembly! You have just won the Community-Minded Citzenship Badge and 30 points! So, basically we stood up, sat back down and clapped continuously for about an hour. Regardless of all the pain from clapping, the assembly was well worth our time.
Following that, we had a luncheon involving two classes and the parents of all the students. It was awesome, you hardly ever get to eat such a variety of foods. Mushroooooommss… Here’s a picture of what I ate, and yes, I am aware that the picture is humongous.
Er… yeah, in the middle of lunch, we stopped. To say thank you to our parents for doing stuff for us through out the year e.g. encouraging us to do our homework in loud ways. The thank you letters didn’t take as long as expected so we were able to eat dessert earlier. The cake is a lie!
After an hour of delightful conversation and food, we headed up stairs to listen/watch some people perform their talents. Again, a picture, because of privacy concerns (basically we don’t want you to stalk them on Facebook) we have drew a circle over people’s faces.
After talent show part, we went home. The end, till graduation:
Graduation. The event that takes place on the last day of school for everybody. This event may not mean much to you if you’re just a wee little kid in kindergarten but if you’re the person graduating or you were in the class of the person graduating, this ceremony means the world to you.
I can positively say that before I even went to school for the ceremony, I knew that song by Vitamin C,Graduation would be played. I knew this because of two things. One, it suited the event, after all, it is a graduation ceremony. Two, it’s in the same freaking chord progression as Canon in D. You can find that chord progression in literally any type of music! Since I play the piano, I find people switching slowly to the chord progression “I-V-VI-IV” but whatever, can’t people invent their own progressions?
[MUSHYHIJACK: I HATE YOU FOREVER WHY MUST YOU MOCK ME IN EVERYTHING I DO]
Anyway, Vitamin C-Graduation is gonna be played. The other thing that’s going to happen is pictures. All the parents need at least 42 pictures of their children in their pretty grad costume, but since the ceremony is in pitch black darkness except for a light following the grads, they use flash. These bolts of light stream out faster than Usain Bolt sprinting the 100 meter. However, we know these pictures are for a good cause so we bear with getting our eyes burned alive with flashy cameras. *looks at watch* I’m going to the ceremony, will recap it this afternoon. With pictures of people and other random irrelevant stuff.
After the ceremony
Oh my god, I’m going to miss everybody. The day itself was epic, graduation ceremony had the two things I expected, also the grad art was really cool. After the ceremony you could see everybody taking pictures, typical. Nobody really cried or felt sad until the end of the day. The moment the bell rang, nobody ran out of the class screaming. We all talked about window-cleaning fluid and slowing walked our way out of school. Hugs were exchanged, tears streamed down people’s faces and warm goodbye’s were said. What an excellent end to the school year.
[Mushyhijack: This is a O-NEB; "O-New's Endorsed Books". I made that up on the spot so it sucks. WHATEVER.]
The Worm Book
A worm flashes across the title page. It automatically lures you towards the book. You read the authors’ names: Janet and Allan Ahlberg. You decide that you have to read this book, as both the authors’ last names begin with an “A”. A must stand for Awesome. You have no choice. You are under the spell of The Worm Book, ever since you first saw the cover.
The Worm Book is an incredibly complex book; I mean, just getting the first page open is hard. To help you, I have compiled a complicated, step-by-step walkthrough on how to get the book open.
1. The first thing you needto do is make sure you are not in a warm area. Learn that the book is made out of paper, and that if it gets too hot, the book might spontaneously combust. Remember, Safety First. Smokey the Bear says: Only you can prevent forest fires.
2. Continuing with the theme of safety, take some gloves and put them on. After that, slowly extend your arm towards the book, making sure you don’t touch the edge of the paper. Doing so could prove fatal; do you know how many people die from paper cuts each year!?! You could BLEED to DEATH!
Moving on, to the subject of the book. Covering a variety of topics, The Worm Book is mostly fictional. However, each page provides so much humour, that it doesn’t matter. Quoting from the book, “All good worms have a beginning, a middle, and an end. Worms with two beginnings, a middle and no end are apt to injure themselves. Worms with no beginning, one middle and two ends get bored.” The book moves from topic to topic each time you flip the page, you will experience great wars all over again, explore new lands and even see the Bertram Worm Circus live!
This book is terrific. Its 118.4 centimeterscubed of paper will keep you glued to the page. It is at the kindergarten vocabulary level. The Worm Book is an epic book. You have to read it.
[MUSHYHIJACK: I really need to stop micromanaging this blog :< Also, this is already too many authors to handle so :< once again. This post is unedited in any form whatsoever, save the next picture that he already drew for us. Yay. Also formatting screwed up.] Hey, this is a new contrib here at O-New. As you will see if you took that effort to scroll down the page to the bottom of this post, this post is by "houraiguy" (would have been HouraiGuy if WordPress had let it, altho come to think of it HouraiSaigyouji is pretty cool too). So, I kinda look like (not rly, but I need an avatar other than the the picture of Heaven's Punishment "Star of David" (Touhou 6: EoSD Stage 6 Normal Boss: Remilia Scarlet: First Spellcard) ...That's a scoped SMG there. Kinda like a chainsaw with a laser pointer =.= I like watching videos on YOUTUBE and on YOUTUBE I watch videos of walkthroughs of games. Specifically, SSoHPKC walkthrus. Mostly I'll be posting things that are not being done by the other ppl. I only have a Wii, and on the Wii I only have 4 games, if you count Wii Sportz as a game. So, addressing the "OTHER STUFFZ(ORZ)" in the title up there, I am ranting about Wii Sportz and how it is considered a game and why it should not be considered a game. WII SPORTS AND WHY IT SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED A GAME First off, WS has exactly 7 modes. That's it. Half or MORE of these SUCK. Mode 1: Tennis. Tennis sucks because of rather CRAPPY motion controls. Also, you can't even control the movements of your Mii. They just CALMLY walk their _ _ _ es up to the ball as it goes bouncebouncebounce and such. Motion control is not really a problem until you start facing "pro" rating CPUs. Ridiculous, ridiculous. Basically all of it is "Time your swing right, and swing right", due to the fact that there is one control method: swing Wiimote to swing racket. The timing window is waaaay too big; and I play as controlling both players on my side of the court (O.o), which gives me another freaking chance, which gets lost after the pro CPUs come up. Mode 2: Baseball. Baseball is basically doing two things: Pitching and batting. No running. No catching. BS? Indeed. Batting is pretty much all about timing and angles; it's like tennis with a much smaller window of time and more emphasis for angles. Also, the fielders are REALLY good at catching stuff. Pitching allows you to choose 4 different types of pitches: Fast straight pitch (fastball), slow straight pitch (dropper, I think), medium pitch that curves towards batter, and medium pitch curving away from batter. The hardest part is really only the batting. Your fielders are beast :D Mode 3: Golf. This is actually okay (read: DOESN'T SUCK). The motion sensor, as always, is rather over-sensitive, but this doesn't start affecting gameplay until you reach the area where you need to use the putting thing. Mode 4: Bowling. Also okay for me, although my friends have trouble with the fact that the ball has a tendency to curve. As the motion sensing is more of a gimmick in this mode, positioning is key. Funnily enough, I suck at actual bowling. Mode 5: Boxing. This SUCKS. I used to like it, but that was when I was actually winning when I went all crazed-monkey-on-drugs-doing-spazzification-while-holding-onto-Wii-mote-with-Wii-chuk against the CPU. Jesus, that was funny. Aiming your punches is very difficult, and movement is kinda imprecise. Time ticks away at very fast speeds, and the KO system is really luck-based. I like how if you dodge punches well, there's some slow-mo effects which also appear when you do some powerful punches. Mode 6: Practice. A set of exercises that practice your skills in the above five modes. Some variants. OK. I kinda like the bowling activity where there's like 150 pins in some rounds :D Mode 7: Training. Picks three random exercises from the Practice mode and you do them. Sucks because 3 of the different categories for the practice activities suck., and randomness SUCKS even more. As many will prolly agree, Wii Sports is more of a demonstration of the Wii's abilities (yes I am quoting this out of something, I just don't know where) than an actual game. Twilight Princess is a game. Super Mario Galaxy (2) is a game. Wii Sports is NOT a game. And then, we move onto Wii Sports Resort. -.- I don't own WSR, as it happens, but from what I've seen it IS a game, but it isn't really worth the price. WSR is 50 bucks, but comes with a BONUS ATTACHMENT that uses the nunchuk slot that "helps detect motions". If you ask me, the "motion plus" attachment is just an excuse to jack up the price. Frankly, the price should be $25 to $35. Hell, I don't even know if the motions are INTERPRETTED any better. Although the Lightsaber duelling thing looks cool: I kinda think it sound similar to boxing up there. Heck, Nintendo, here's an idea free of charge (lol Yahtzee style- see Zero Punctuation: Phantom Hourglass): How 'bout you make a "power pack" that includes Wii Fit, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, 2 Wiimotes, 2 Nunchuks, 2 motion plus attachments, the Balance Board, the two plastic coats that go on top of the 'motes (not gonna say the nickname, as it happens to be named after a certain plastic object used by males), and a Wii. Why not throw in a plastic coat for the balance board, anyway? So you stuff that shipt together, and you sell it for $425. Easy peasy. Then you send me that bundle free. =D
[MUSHYHIJACK Note: the opinions expressed below are not the opinions of whatever this blog is, but only of the specific author of this post. *insert some random legal crap* (I haven't hijacked anything past this point though, notice it is a filler post >_>)]
Er…don’t run away just cuz the title is stoopid, but anyways, I’m sure everyone will remember, but you know how schools like to um…stop bullying by showing us stoopid movies/videos? Our school decided to er…make a change because they noticed (took them awhile no?) that there was a little bit of bullying at our school. (BULLYING OH MY!) So then they somehow dug up this old movie, (I think 3 years back) called THE ANT BULLY! >_> Basically, the cartoon revolves around this nerdy short guy, (that has ginger hair? If he was just a little bit fatter and bigger, he would kinda be like CopperCab) who is like bullied by this fat guy, and then the fat guy somehow always finishs his SUPA ATOMIC WEDGIE with “I’m big, and you’re little!” *facepalm* Aren’t overweight people like 99.99% the ones being bullied? WTF?
Anyways, so being the stubborn, oh so reminiscence of a 4-year old, kid that nerdy short guy is, (btw his name is Peanut…WTF?) he decides to take out his anger on an ant hill, with T3H NEW WEAPON OF THE 21ST CENTURY! Wait for it…Wait for it…it’s the water pistol! >_> According to this movie, it’s like the equivalent to a death ray of some sort. Then, the kid upgrades his weaponry (cuz he gained 50 XP) to a water hose, and cuz the water hose attracts attention, is harassed by a filthy pest exterminator guy who smokes. -_-
Then the ants get this potion (that looks like earwax) and pours it down the boys ear (how ironic. Earwax down a boy’s ear) and thus the boy shrinks. Then the ants bring him to their colony, and decides to eat him. Oh noooooooooooooo. But then this godly queen ant goes “Don’t eat him, make him an ant!” Then he likes b-b-b-bombs this wasp using a large grenade during the Insect War of 2007.
In the end, the ants UNITE! and like pawn that exterminator guy with ANT POWA!!!!! It’s ironic that the movie says “Ants are the most caring creatures in the world” and then they ENSLAVE these caterpillars as like horses, and then THEY SHOOP DA WHOOP the attacking wasps! Like it is seriously impossible for any lifeform on Earth to not “bully” anything.
Well, I sure have learned an important lesson from this movie. Don’t mess with ants, or they’ll kick your @$$.
Yeah this is a filler, more stuff coming soon. (Debate on whether turtles are awesomer than snakes, aniposts, oneg’s)
For now, you get to read this random fact about me: I’m not weird, I’m limited edition.
Er yeah. I apologize, but my mom’s taking an exam this week, meaning she occupies the computer 99% of the time… Here’s why I wanted to recruit YuChoy a bit later so that you’d read something during this week, but I guess that’s a bit mehish right now…
Stuff is happening with the tags system as the new pplz haven’t actually used many of them (and thus don’t know which ones to apply to which, not like it’s organized at all anyways)…
…Ignore the first non-mushyhijack paragraph, I have no idea what banana means by that >_>
And.. yeah. Fillers coming until the next #SuicideSaturday and by then maybe stuff’ll happen.
ONE-LIFE’D IMPERISHABLE NIGHT FINAL B
easy modo ._.
Mushyhijack: [I'm gone tomorrow for something, so I just had to post this cause it was already up. Sorry yuchoy if you were hoping on editing it a bit :heh:]
So hello everyone,
I’m yuchoy, also known as Extoria. I’m joining O-New as a contributor, but maybe eventually I’ll turn into an author.
Anyways for people who don’t know what a yu choy is, it is:
er…so yeah that’s the basic idea on what I look like.
Anyways, as a first post, I’m going to do a video review (that I, as in Mushy, because I have mysteriously hijacked this post as I am the all-ruling all-seeing administrator of this feeble blog [/pride] have not come up with an acronym yet because the original writer of this post which wasn’t Mushy but some guy introduced above failed to come up with an acronym that I could create an acronym out of and so I (as Mushy) am obliged to hijack this post) I recently went through Youtube, and found the Top Rated videos section. At the top of the list, I found “Top Ten Biggest and Best Jumps Ever” In a nutshell, it’s a montage of people who (in my opinion) hate their life, thus attempt to kill themselves, but fail at it, and then becomes an internet sensation, thus making their life better and livable. I mean, jumping out of a plane wearing nothing but shorts? (no parachute) You probably don’t know what I’m talking about, but that’s because you haven’t watched the video! Oh and if you haven’t watched it, don’t read on cuz its a SPOILER ALERT! Go to the link below to watch it.
So I’ll be reviewing the ten jumps
10.There was nothing extremely suicidal about this jump, but the jump overall was beautifully done, and he was quite professional, so…er…good job.
9.My first reaction to when I saw this was…LOLWUT? So let’s summarize. You have…a guy wearing nothing but red shorts, jumping out of a plane, drinking a can of Red Bull, and has no PARACHUTE? O_o Yeah he must hate his life a lot.
8. Wow. Now that…is just plain suicide. Like seriously, imagine that guy missing the top of that arch, and smacking his head onto the top, then falling to his death. You wouldn’t even have to “FINISH HIM!” It’d just be insta-FATALITY
7.That must be a pretty scary experience, not being able to see where you’re falling down to. You’re just falling…and then omigod a huge monster pops up and eats you. Yeah thats creepy.
6.This jump in my opinion deserves to be in the number 1 spot. IS THIS GUY A FRIGGING NINJA? Forgot Keanu Reeves. This guy believes man, he believes. HE IS THE ONE. Man, I thought jumping like that only happened in the Matrix. >_>
5.I don’t really get why this one is so amazing, so if anyone knows, comment plox.
4.Double backflip. Now that is skill, and nerve.
3.FYI, this jump still holds the world record for biggest dive in the world. That takes a lot of courage to do that. I would probably shit my pants just looking down. lol but I like his hair.
2.My first reaction was that it was a flying banana, or I possibly awesomebananadancer decided to try to fly. Anyways, those guys look like banana torpedos, homing in on their targets. Maybe they could go for flying yu choys next?
1.This guy…really doesn’t like his life. Did you see his face after he got rescued? He was like “8D” “lol theres this guy slapping my faic” He is mental. You have to be crazy to jump from space. How the crud do you even think of those type of things? “oh lol I’m just going to jump high above the stratosphere and possibly I’ll land on Earth and not die” -_-.
I noticed something interesting. For jumps 10, 9, 8, and 7, they all had the Red Bull logo on it. In other words, unless you want to end up like those suicide people jumping out of planes wearing nothing but shorts, don’t drink Red Bull.
Well, er…so that’s the first post by me. :D. Hope it’s okay. K bai internet