O-NEG 1: Snail

Look at that moon, it's too big

Thus begins the first O-New’s Next Entertaining Game (Review/Look/Advertisement) with a… game, Snail…!

“It is said that every full moon on a cloudy night, a small creature is granted a wish…”

And your goal is to make that wish come true, the wish for immortality!

He's grinding his teeth

You guide a small, slow, snail on its quest to NOM SIGN EAT EVERYTHING and in the process, possibly live forever…

It’s really not much of a game, more of an art-slideshow, yet the art isn’t so good either. It’s because of that, that its art isn’t professionally good and the game is basically tape your right arrow key to the keyboard, that it’s brilliant.

MUST. NOM. PLANTS.

I mean, look at this. This is so simple and cartoonish that it’s simply amazing.

Honestly, this can’t even begin to compare with the better games that are released, but we all need to relax once in a while and realize that a game, really is just, a game…

Sound was amazing too, though most likely not original. The ending slideshow was so good that I went through the game twice just to see it again…

All in all, it’s a great game if you just want to relax, but if you want something that you can actually play, I wouldn’t recommend this…

Gameplay, 5 or 9/10 (I mean, it’s so simple even trolls would understand, which is both good and bad). Art, 5 or 8/10 (Simplicity once again is a double-sided blade or whatever). Concept, 9/10 (Well, it’s… new, for me). Replayability 3/10 (The last slideshow is good, but…)

Argh that space it haunts me

Well, I suppose it does have more of a replayability if you just want to collect every last achievement…

On a side note, this is where I just want to smack Kongregate’s players in the face another time. With a spiked baseball bat.

Apparently, they’re ranting about how “Kongregate forced us to play this game”. Well, oh gee it must be the developer’s fault for making his game get badges because totally developers choose whether they get a badge or not. And, oh, I remember now, apparently getting all easy achievements was mandatory or else the Kongregate mafia would hunt you down and kill you. So that must be why you have to play this game.

If you don’t want to play it, just don’t freaking play it. Badges are badges. They are symbols that show you’ve completed something. Before, when you did something like finish the game, nobody would notice, but now they do because of badges. Badges aren’t something to strive towards. It’s a side reward after you do something.

Sure, you can say it’s not a game. But what’s the definition of a game? It’s something that requires user input. This requires user input. You need to press and hold the right button. Sure, you could say that that’s too easy to be a game, but what about sniper games? All you need to do is click the mouse! And tower defence, you only need to click the mouse multiple times as well! Besides, a game is a game, who cares about the definition? It got a badge, you probably got the badge, and if you hate the game keep your comments to yourself, because you probably only got there because of the badge. Honestly, in my opinion people who play games purely for badges should be disallowed to comment, for they are most of the time terribly biased. “Oh this badge is too hard 1/5” Yeah, good for you. The badge isn’t too hard. You just suck too much.

Well, at least the rest of Kong’s community are awesome enough to downrate the trolls who go “1/5” at everything. But still, that doesn’t do anything. Kongregate needs a paradigm shift past this badge-oriented activity and into actual gaming, when we’d play for fun, not rewards. If you play just for badges, that’s basically like a Chinese gold farmer, who plays because he has to. Now, he actually does have to play to survive but if you’re on a flash game site like Kongregate, where you don’t get any monetary rewards for playing, where’s the necessary incentive? What makes you “have” to play? If we cut down the internet connection, would you die because you didn’t get a badge?

Nope, sorry. Unless you were stupid enough to commit suicide.

Anyways, [/rant] and play Snail…! It’s an awesome game, but… well, let’s just say don’t play it if you’re running out of time…

Video:

^ Touhou melody remix…!

And then he became god :/