The top 3 things I’m scared of
The number one thing I’m scared of are fat people. Not like, just overweight, but so fat that when they walk they thud. So fat that if they swim, they jiggle. So fat that if they dive into the water, they go straight down. I mean, how do you even get so frigging fat? I can eat a lot of food but I don’t ever start jiggling. Does God like takes his hand and pokes certain people, pronouncing them super-duper-fat? Maybe. The issue of being a jiggly fat person has always perplexed me. I don’t even think that if I ate nothing than McDonald’s for a week I would grow fat. Super-duper-ultra-mega-platinum-uber-fail-fat people scare me.
The number two thing I am scared of is retarded people. No, actually, I feel sorry for them, their life is hard. Actually, it’s perverted, wrong people. I’m not even going to go into detail, it’s just so wrong. If you’re gonna play any game of Truth or Dare, they’re gonna make you like hump a tree or lick something. Bleurgh. All of these people should just go into a box that gets shipped off to a spot where nobody can hear, see, smell or make any contact with them. There should be at least 1337 km of radius just in case. Then, these perverted people can do whatever they like.
The third thing I’m scared of is public washrooms/change rooms. The wet floor is already bad enough. It’s freezing cold, if you step on like wet paper towels. It’s disgusting. Some pools are really nice though, they are indoors. Ours is outdoors, freezing at 5:45, I guess it makes you progress from a wuss into more of a man. As for public washrooms, they’re just overall gross. The toilet paper is thinner than newspaper, if you try to pull it, it rips. Also, people never freaking flush the toilet! If it was a urinal that’s fine but seeing the remains of what was once food… no thanks.
My worst night mare would be an extremely fat person that was as perverted and wrong as a *insert really perverted wrong thing here* that makes public change rooms really nasty. Wait. I already know somebody who’s like that. Urgh.