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O-NEG 2: Epic War 3

I have to go to sleep because I’m going to sleep soon so I’ll make the review one big, long, run-on sentence. Without any punctuation. All typed in caps.


The glorious title screen. Wait. Is that a walkthrough button? Why is it even there? Who uses walkthroughs? That just spoils the game! Remove that button!

When the game starts, you are required to pick a hero. Obviously, you have no clue which hero is the best, and therefore you pick the one with the coolest art. I picked the one with zoooooombies. Then, you are led to a map with several castles, you have to choose a castle and attack it.

You see one unit ready, your hero. You press forward, that’s the only button there is. Yay, you just killed a zombie! You see more units accumulating so you press the forward button about 50 more times.

After pressing it the forward button nearly over 9000 times, all your units have been built and you’re at the end of the field, chopping away at his castle. Good job, you destroyed this castle, it is now yours.

It’s not all that easy though. As your hero levels up, you get more cards. That’s good. You get more mana. That’s good. However, revenge waves are initiated once you start attacking the castle. Usually they are about 50 monsters, this means while you’re chopping away at his castle, 50 units start charging you eliminating all hope of destroying the castle. You continue to grind through these levels, upgrading cards along the way. The last level has a little surprise though. First, the revenge waves send about 50 units, then it send another 50. And another 50. Oh yeah, just to let you know, the AI also sends a titan. Since your hero has already died, nearly all your units are at very low health, you have no choice but to retreat and send a spell.

WOOHOO! After farming, grinding and more grinding, you finish the game! IT’S NOT OVER THOUGH, YOU GET TO DO THAT AGAIN, 5 MORE TIMES UNTIL YOU’VE BEATEN THE GAME WITH ALL 6 HEROS AND ATTAINED ALL THE CARDS. Oh boy. Most normal people don’t even bother completing it a second time let alone a third time. The only reason why I continued griding is cause of the “cave of trials”. These are basically reliving the last level again, except they send a specific titan and after you beat the game, you get the titan. :O

Gameplay, 4 or 9/10 (In the beginning, it’s pretty fun but gets somewhat boring at the end). Art, 5 or 10/10 (Every single castle has a different background. Also the 30 cards/units that were designed are really awesome). Concept, 7/10 (This is the 3rd epic war game, however, they changed the concept quite a bit, not just upgrading everything with better art, etc, etc.). Replayability 4/10 (The cave of trials is enticing but doing the same thing over and over again 6 times is… stupid.)

If you like Epic war 3, then go play epic war 4, it’s coming out in around a month!

3 responses

  1. So…it’s a game.It have blood and monsters.That’s good I guess,but it’s not something new.But hey!Who needs new things?Old things are still awesome.Oh and the hero is a knight on a horse.That’s….nice I guess.(I like knights but I don’t like been told that I am one becouse of my name.It’s dark night.Not dar[th] knight!!)Now Im gonna write “MASSIVE UNICORN GENOCIDE”cuz I run out of ideas on what to write.

    2010/06/12 at 18:54

  2. If that’s your thing, killing unicorns :P

    2010/06/12 at 23:03

  3. Oh gawd. That reminds me of Charlie. Foogoo fish, run away!

    2010/06/15 at 02:33