O-NEG 6: Touhou 8: Touhou Eiyashou / Imperishable Night
[Wait, that looks like “one gone gone gone gone gone gone gone goneg…”]
[MUSHYHIJACK: Cause when you start playing this game you know you’re gone gone gone gone gone… to hell (that well off the coast of Finland)]
So, as mushy and darkflareknight (should cough should *expectantlookhere*) know, the Touhou series revolves around a series of characters who shoot stuff and stuff that is shooting at them, which is why they are shooting at the things that are firing (“What? They’ll kill me if I don’t kill them!”). Due to the fact that you have no health bar, you get OHKO’d upon coming in contact with enemy glowy-orbs (read: “Danmaku”, meaning “bullet hell” or “curtain fire” or “HOLY CHRIZZZZ…IZZLE…-O…-IO…-EIEIO…-” etc.
(Houraiguy takes a break here as he goes off to play Frantic 1, (http://www.kongregate.com/games/polymerrabbit/frantic) testing his skills in a hopeless endeavor to acquire an impossible badge. Status: Got hit on the FIRST STAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU… but I finished Ep. 1 Frantic 2 on Frantic mode)
In Imperishable Night, you are tasked with discovering who committed THE UNPRECEDENTED SERIOUS AFFAIR in this game; namely that SOMEONE has done SOMETHING (Note: This happens for every single Touhou game, but only Imperishable Night does the following), which in this case is that AN UNKNOWN PERSON has DONE SOMETHING to the MOON, e.g. replace it with something false, e.g. a fake moon, on a certain day, e.g. the eve of a festival, e.g. a moon-viewing festival, which might affect it in some way, e.g. make there not be a festival, and so on.
On the path to the place where the person who committed the USA, there is one (1) firefly (weak), one (1) night sparrow (eaten), one (1) teacher (regular), one (1) shrine maiden OR one (1) robber/magician/witch, followed by one (1) moon rabbit (suppos-), and either one (1) genius OR one (1) …person WHO COMMITTED THE USA in co-ordination with the genius and the supp…, er, rabbit.
Basically, you shoot people down while not getting hit by the things the people you are shooting are shooting at you. This is pretty fun.
After completing the “Start” mode on any difficulty with no continues, the …person asks you to assassinate their rival, which you go and do (this mode is called “Extra Start”). Actually, you try and do it, but fail epicly in most examples. Before reaching the assassination target, who is immortal (something the equally immortal …person neglected to tell you), you have to beat the teacher AGAIN, except the teacher is more evil and is a were-something, and is stronger due to the fact that you replaced the real full moon in “Start” mode, so you beat down the teacher and meet the immortal, who fries you to a crisp in about 1 minute to 10 minutes, depending on how many bombs you have and how good you are at evading danmaku. Case in point:
That's one of the easy ones.
That’s one of the easy ones.
AND TO THE REVIEW PART
Gameplay: If you don’t suck, it’s pretty fun: 87/100
Graphics: Pretty good, nice effects. 93/100
Sound: Touhou music is the best music, hands down. SFX are also good. 100/100
Plotline: Just up there with the Mario games; sucks. -/100
Overall, it’s not bad to get: 92/100. At the very least, listen to Immortal Smoke.
And: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nb5Ohbt1Sg: Extra stage actually finished.