Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin 1
[Notice: Added fanart page! Not that there’s going to be any for a long time to come. Thanks again, flare~ Also, for some reason strikethroughs now work – but only in HTML edit mode. Oh well, the only problem with HTML edit mode is the crap wordpress throws on images. We’d better sort that out one of these days…]
"We're sponsored by Sony. We can bribe whoever's chasing you."
OCCULT ACADEMY is about an OCCULT ACADEMY. Actually, it’s about some person running away from an EVIL BAT. The guy’s a pyrokinesiser, which means he can LEVITATE FIRE. Not that that does anything. Anyways, he doesn’t have HAX SIGN: BURN EVERYTHING so he has to TELEPOT out. UNFORTUNATELY HE HAS NO TELEPOT TO TELESMOKE so he actually needs to telePORT out.
"Sorry. You must be a Level 30 Ice/Lightning Wizard to use Teleport."
SO HE DIES.
It is revealed he is the FIFTH “ABE MINORU”, a species of HIGHLY INTELLIGENT APE-ANIMALS. THERE IS ONLY ONE “ABE MINORU” left as the US cut all of their funding; NUMBER SIX, Uchida FUMIAKI.
After an OP with so much symbolism I’m not even going to search what they mean, it is revealed that THERE IS A GAP IN THE ANIME-TOUHOU CONTINUUM ALLOWING AYA TO EXIST HERE
In Gensokyo, tengu demons say they saw YOU! AND THEY WRITE THAT IN NEWSPAPERSSSSSSS
Anyways, A PERSON goes up to Mt. Minakamiyama WHERE THERE IS A SCHOOL called WALDSTEIN Academy but everyone calls it… THE OCCULT ACADEMY. YOU WEREN’T EXPECTING THAT, WERE YOU? HUH? HUH?!
"They call it... the hall of INFINITE STAIRS. Yeah, that didn't sound as good as I expected it to..."
The PERSON is greeted by A vice-PRINCIPAL known as KAWASHIMA, who reveals that THE PERSON’S NAME is
Kawashiro KAPPA Kumashiro MAYA and that her DAD, Kumashiro JUN’ICHIROU… DIED. And they are currently HOSTING HIS FUNERAL.
Anyways, they continue his funeral with a TAPE they found of him CHANTING A SPELL TO SUMMON ANCIENT SPIRITS OF THE DEAD. …which was… er.. pretty sad because HE SUMMONED ANCIENT SPIRITS OF THE DEAD.
Before Death; After Death. Wait. It was supposed to be reversed?
Thus the principal becomes an evil, superhuman zombie and attacks A BUNCH OF PEOPLE. But MAYA HITS HIM WITH A CHAIR
...Must have been something you ate. Rather what the heck did you eat?!
AND HE FLIES BACK INTO HIS COFFIN.
Maya then decides to give a POLITICAL SPEECH about RELIGIOUS MINORITIES which happens to be COMPLETELY and UTTERLY FALSE (Gustav Waldstein, the “founder” of the school and “definer” of “occult” only exists in this anime and “Letters from the Lost: A Memoir of Discovery”).
"...I'm not k-karaoking.. I'm.. er... delivering a... p-p-political speech..! Yeah!"
Oh, did I mention there were some other characters as well? Naruse KOZUE is just some other “LOL I CAN’T FIND MY GLASSES” girl who is the friend of Kuroki AMI, who is the childhood friend of MAYA. AMI decides to go find “HELP”, and brings along OCCULT DOWSER JK (who looks nothing like what you’d expect a (T)K to look like), and Smile, an ENGINEER-MECHANIC person.
"SOMEONE'S ATTACKING ME I CAN'T DEFEND MYSELF MOMMY I'M SADDDDDDDDDDD"
It is revealed that in their childhood, Maya and Kozue were recruited by NASA to Reach for the Moon, but they weren’t Immortal Smoke so they sorta died in space. Yeah, that has nothing to do with the plot. Whatever.
Kozue gets INFECTED AND
THIS TURNS INTO A HIGHSCHOOL OF THE DEAD CLONE attacks the other people. Fortunately, Kozumbie still has the same weaknesses Kozue had; SHE LOST HER GLASSES
Zombies have style too.
That doesn’t stop her from ATTACKING PEOPLE, but SMILE makes her realize that SHE’S NOT ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE and is a LAMIE. Not that that has anything to do with anything. :/
"B-b-but... MOMMY! ;w;"
Finally, MAYA enters a room with her father, where they talk about stupid stuff. But, MAYA reveals the sad, sad truth: her father is dead and nothing can change that.
The lamie dies and the show is over.
The vice-principal and some tough looking guy talk about how Maya’s the principal’s daughter in preparation for what is obviously going to be the main plot-thread of the series. The second plot-thread comes when it is revealed that Maya committed suicide and drowned, upside-down, in a giant hurricane-tornado-whirlpool thing.
Spongebob couldn't even help you
But finally, the third plot-thread is revealed; after all, the main themes are Daddy Issues and Rotating Penis.
…Eh. First episode had too much information at once, too many things to think about. First, you have the time-travelling thread, which you would’ve thought would be the main thread – until it is revealed that it most likely isn’t because it’s only mentioned at the very beginning and very end. Then the occult battle scenes make you think “how is this possible?!”, and then “how much does Maya know about the occult?”.
Those are the obvious ones, but I was thinking for a while what the people in Occult Academy study. The occult? If they do, it must be pretty boring as none of them knew anything about lamies (lamiae?) when it broke out. What’s the point of that? Does Maya’s father know that the occult exists? What exactly are the “Abe Minoru”s?
Maybe first episodes are supposed to catch your attention with as many questions as possible; nevertheless, I prefer it when it starts with a single, obvious idea and then expanding on that.
Maybe that’s what happened this episode. Time travelling is the main thread, and the principal’s death etc. merely acted to introduce the characters and their abilities and provide some background on the entire anime. After the infodump (which really isn’t an infodump due to battle scenes and the like), it then goes back to the main thread: rotating penis. Er, time travelling.
Despite the confusion this episode, I’m still really looking forward to this. I’m pretty sure the next episode’s out already (making this post a week late), but before I watch that I really need an answer to the most important question of all:
Why is JK so fat?
Fractalized landscapes / Landscape terrain editors? / Or just photoshop
Link (completely unrelated)
^ List of all Twilight crossovers.