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Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin 8


Head and shoulders, knees and nose, sneeze and hose, freeze and hold… you’re arrested.

…Alright. As I mentioned before, for higher quality, we’re (I’m) only using… non-streamed anime that may or may not have been acquired through legal means, depending on the place of your residency… for anime pictures. Also, each is now 700 x 400 in size.

Yeah, unfortunately I can’t find out how to… view subtitles, so I have to live with making this post without any idea of what’s going on. At least I watched it already, a month ago.

OH WELL

Anyways, continuing from the last post, exactly a month ago (and since then, I haven’t watched, like, any anime)…

…Well, there is no continuation because I didn’t post the plot then!


Eyes, ears, mouth and nose… but I DON’T HAVE EYES WHY ARTIST WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME EYES

Anyways, funny thing is that the anime club at my school is still at episode one (I didn’t even attend their ‘meeting’ :V). Seems I’m not the latest in the aniblogosphere…

My goal is to catch up to Occult Academy to post the final episode on Tuesday. That’s right; a post a day, folks!


Fumiaki: …W-wh-what… is it..?!
Maya: It seems to be…
*sunglasses*
…a DEAD COW.

Anyways, to catch up on events so far; Fumiaki/Maya went into the crop field because they thought there was an alien invasion or something. Unfortunately, it seemed to just be JK/Smile/Ami’s Dad planning something to make Ami/Maya grow less emo. Obviously this makes both of them more emo, and so they slap each other cause that’s like so trendy and all that.

So basically right now Ami/Maya hate each other.

They decide to meet up at a shrine and have a FIGHT TO THE DEATH.

HOWEVER, THE HEROIC AND VERY VERY MANLY KOZUE SAVES THEM FROM A CERTAIN DOOM BY PUTTING HER LIFE ON THE LINES FOR HER FRIENDS.


Look at that face! Clearly the face of someone rescued from their cruel fate by a heroic friend.

Wait, what do you mean that was just the shrine where they always visited to make up with each other? Clearly they were going to beat each other to death with sticks!


I’m Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin and I do not approve of this message.

Oh, whoops, tiny chupacabras have bitten Kozue, kidnapped Ami, and done nothing to Maya cause she’s TOO MOTHERFUCKING AWESOME.

Maya/Kozue go to Smile/JK/Ami’s Dad because we need more smilies and j/ks in this post. UNFORTUNATELY YA DON’T GET ANY HAR HAR HAR


We’re really sorry that Ami died… but honestly, we couldn’t care less!

Along the way, they crash into three vending machines suspiciously placed along the highway, probably for, ya know, in case a secondary character who is bound ta die in ta next episode or two can go outside after a quarrel with ta main character and another secondary character who must die pretty soon too and buy a drink but find that a 100-yen coin fell underneath ta vending machine and he can’t move ta vending machine and his arm’s not skinny/long enough ta reach it so that the main antagonist can kill the secondary character who must die pretty soon too.


Japan and America – the only two places in the world where there’s a vending machine in the middle of both nowhere and everywhere.

They also forcibly abduct persuade using gentlemanly means Fumiaki to come along.

Your current party contains:
Maya Main Character Hairband – Crossbow – Crossbow Arrows – School Uniform
Stats: 5STR 6AGI 5VIT 9INT 7DEX 6LUK
Fumiaki Main Character Nothing – Metal Pole – Nothing – Teacher Uniform
Stats: 5STR 9AGI 4VIT -1INT 5DEX 0LUK
Smile Smile Clip – Giant Wrench – Nothing – Mechanic Uniform
Stats: 9STR 6AGI 7VIT 7INT 7DEX 5LUK
JK Awesome Character GET CHANCE AND LUCK – Dowsing Stick (x2) – Guitar-Accordian-Bagpipe-Thing – IT’S A FUCKING TUXEDO DEAL WITH IT
Stats: 7STR 3AGI 8VIT 3INT 9DEX 10LUK
Ami’s Dad Important Character Nothing – Nail Gun – Nothing – Pants. And a shirt. WOAAAAAAAAH
Stats: 9STR 5AGI 7VIT 5INT 5DEX 5LUK
Kozue :< :< – AWESOMENESS – :< – Student Uniform
Stats: :<STR :<AGI :<VIT :<INT :<DEX :<LUK

Enemy party:
Chupacabra Nothing – Nothing – Nothing – Nothin-HOLY CRAP THEY’RE NAKED WHAT
Stats: 0STR 1AGI 0VIT 0INT 0DEX -99LUK
Giant Chupacabra Nothing – Nothing – Nothing – Nothin-HOLY CRAP HE’S NAKED TOO
Stats: 99STR 99AGI 99VIT 0NT 99DEX -99LUK

Objective – Rescue:
Ami Nothing – Stick – Nothing – School Uniform
Stats: 5STR 6AGI 5VIT 7INT 6DEX -99LUK

Order of moves:

Turn One

Chupacabra dies.

Turn Two

Chupacabra dies.
Maya is unharmed.

Turn Three

Chupacabra dies.
Fumiaki is unharmed.

Turn Four

Chupacabra dies.
Smile is unharmed.

Turn Five

Chupacabra dies.
JK is unharmed.

Turn Six

Nothing dies, because water guns are useless.
Ami’s Dad is unharmed.

Turn Seven

Fumiaki dies.
Chupacabra is unharmed.

Wait crap

Tour Quatre-Vingt-Dix-Neuf

Maya discovered the Giant Chupacabra!
Maya discovered Ami!
Main Objective Complete.
Secondary Objective Unlocked – Defeat the Giant Chupacabra.
Maya’s Crossbow Destroyed!
Ami’s… Stick… Didn’t even exist in the first place’d!
Giant Chupacabra has 100,000,000,000,000/100,000,000,000,000 HP!
Maya has 10/10 HP!
Ami has 9/10 HP!

Final Turn

Oh wait, the Giant Chupacabra’s dead. Oh, it seems that headshots don’t actually take away less damage the more defence you had! I never knew that! RPG’s were all lying to me…

The end.

Oh, and Kawashima and her nameless bodyguard are watching from afar as they set fire to the building to erase all evidence of the chupacabras.


Woulda made more canonical sense if it was an earthquake though…


I’M ON UR HILL SETTIN FIRE TO YA SHRINES

Hurrrr, stinkin plot advancement… imminent?

Really, when you look at it nothing happened in this episode. It’s sorta strange to me why only the Occult Academy experiences these occult experiences, and nobody else has ever done so before when they’re experiencing these so often. Then again, that’ll probably be explained by Kawashima (who might just be the final ringleader in this anime…).

On the subject of Kawashima, it seems that the piece that plays every time she writes her interesting… poems about Fumiaki is Liszt’s La campanella, from the Grandes études de Paganini. Found it while browsing through his Transcendental Etudes one day out of boredom, and believe me, it is very, very hard to play (that’s why it’s transcendental).

As Vivi said from Sekijitsu, ‘You think getting bit with teeth that long, your skin would be left little worse off than a few holes, or your bones pierced through, or the holes to be long enough to go through your whole body. I bet a lot of you are wondering why Naruse isn’t dead yet.’ The whole thing’s just stupid. The chupacabras are obviously underbalanced and way too easy for a party of their level. They didn’t even land a single hit even though I didn’t bother to add an avoid stat there were quite a lot of them. Enough for 99 rounds of mindless fighting.

The boss was obviously stupidly strong, and yet Ami’s Dad just shot him with a nail gun and he died outright. Some of ya would be furious at this anticlimatic ending, but I loved it – here’s reality, ya generally don’t survive after getting shot in the head. Or the chest. Or generally any part of your body. And ya definitely can’t continue to move and shoot other people, no matter where ya’ve been shot – even the pain would probably be unbearable.

YA RTSs ARE LYING TO ME

I’d say that Touhou wasn’t cause one shot = death, but the bosses have some insanely high VIT stats.

Back to the first paragraph – nothing really happened at all. They could’ve just had Ami and Maya getting over their argument at the shrine and start the next episode early, and it would’ve had the same result (but better, cause there’d be more content) as Ami and Maya about to get over their argument but suddenly CHUPACABRAS

Then again, this is another Ookami-san-esque anime. There’s really no plot (advancement) AFAIK, everything focuses episode-by-episode or a chain of episodes, and things just leap from one thing to another. I guess that’s an attempt to emulate life – because really, who follows a long-term goal every single day and always has something related to that goal to talk about? Oh wait, let me think, just about every other anime character out there?

Yeah, this is divergent, and I wouldn’t say I like it, but I’m sure many others do. Nevertheless, I started watching Occult Academy expecting a well-developed, streamlined mystery/occult story, and get… this.

I won’t say I’m displeased either, that’s for sure.


scare:<rows

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