Ookami-san to Shichinin no Nakamatachi Half Season Review [Completed]

Oh gosh, this HSR is from the times when I didn’t screencap while watching, so arghblargh I have to go through all those episodes again…

ACTUALLY, NO I DON’T, BECAUSE THERE’S NOTHING REMOTELY INTERESTING ABOUT THIS AT ALL :|

(Also, will be updating some HSR here, so wait for my link!)

Here: Shiki HSR 3. Read it~!

This is just…

J.C. Staff, y u do dis?!

Granted, it’s my first year into anime, I haven’t watched any of JC’s better works (only this, Index, Bakuman, and Merry, which all sorta really yeah they suck), and some of their shows probably really do kick as, but still.

You guys have good art. Brilliant art. Of all the studios I’ve seen (not saying much) your art beats them all. You also have good music. Not really. I can’t tell the difference between different studios’ musickz. Finally, good animation. Not really. Look at previous explanation.

But BY GOD, WHAT KIND OF STORIES ARE THESE?!

Here, it’s been waaaay too long since I watched this, I didn’t write any plot summaries down, didn’t take any screencaps, and I’m not going to bother going through my old horrible posts, so I’ll see what I can remember.

Mmm… NOTHING. This show is so unoriginal, cliché, unmemorable, and boring that I CAN’T EVEN REMEMBER THE PLOT!

Oh wait, let’s look at the Wiki article.

OH RIGHT, THERE WAS NO PLOT.

But anyways, let’s see how to make a manga that J.C. Staff would like to animate…

Step 1: Get an otamot. Make his hairstyle the same as all other otamots that have been made. Colour it a different shade of dark. Next, make sure the otamot gets his own harem, without anyone noticing (this can be achieved by adding many other male characters to make it not seem like a harenime). Now give the otamot a special ability – e.g. can stop magic, can read into people’s dreams, can draw manga (no, Mashiro’s cool), or can transfer into a new school. Or something. I sorta forgot how this otamot was introduced. I FORGOT HIS NAME! Kyousuke? Ryousuke? I remember the main tsundere was Ryouko or Kyouko or WHY DO I FORGET THESE THINGS?

Oh right, you aren’t supposed to remember anything about an otamot. That’s why they’re otamots.

Step 2: Mainish characters. Typically, this will consist of a tsundere heroine, a childhood friend, a scheming loli, a perverted best friend that gets no ladies, a sent pie in the ‘____ council’/’____ club’, a kuudere, a cool daddy, an old, weird doctor/principal/[position_of_authority], and someone who lost their ____ in a ____ incident involving _____, providing the emotional flashback-buffer for the series.

Step 3: Not-so-mainish characters. They appear once in the entire show, suddenly appearing out of the blue when it’d take too much time to introduce a new character. These always have one characteristic that defines them from everyone else – e.g. is a little kid, has control over THE ENTIRE WORLD, parents were sluts that had too many children at once. Of course, each of them has to have a backstory that shows us why they’re a little kid/took over THE ENTIRE WORLD/parents were sluts (notice, ‘they’re parents were sluts’).

Step 4: Antagonists. These tomatos (“What does ‘So you’re a tomato’ mean?!”) must be really evil. The main evil-doer must be so evil that he only appears for five minutes an episode and during the last half of the penultimate episode, after which he disappears. Forever. However, there must be supporting evil-doers that either get destroyed or are actually kuuderes and then befriend the otamots. Their hair must also look completely ridiculous. Completely. There usually is some sort of relation between the main evil-doer and the secondary main character. Second main character. Otamots.

Step 5: Art. It must be good.

Step 6: Originality. It must have an original concept (e.g. there are dream demons, there are a bunch of little kids, there are magics, there are people. Who write manga), and the concept must be really cool, with a lot of potential.

Step 7: Pace. IT MUST SUCK. HORRIBLY. EVERYTHING MUST JUMP FROM ONE THING TO SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. THE MAIN IDEA MUST DROP. FOREVER. THE MAIN EVIL-DOER? INTRODUCE HIM IN CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND LEAVE HIM AS A CHEKHOV’S GUN UNTIL CHAPTER THREE THOUSAND AND NINETY NINE. THEN SAY THAT HE DID EVERYTHING BAD FROM THE BEGINNING. AND THEN KILL HIM IN ONE EPISODE. ALSO, THE BEST CHARACTERS IN THE SHOW MUST NOT HAVE THEIR CHARACTER/BACKGROUND FLESHED OUT, BECAUSE THEN J.C. STAFF WON’T WANT TO ANIMATE YOUR MANGA. MAKE SURE THAT YOU ONLY REVEAL BACKSTORY OF STUPID OTAMOTS AND/OR PEOPLE THAT WILL APPEAR ONLY ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN.

Step 8: Plot. It should go like this:

1. Original concept revealed, everything’s really cool with first chapter being pretty awesome.
2. Now revolve the plot around the relations between the two male and female otamots.
3. Introduce EVIL BADDY.
4. Nobody cares about evil baddy, add filler chapters about random crap that doesn’t have anything to do with the original concept.
5. Beach episode. There must be a beach episode. Doesn’t matter if it’s Winter. Doesn’t matter if it’s set in 2101 when war was beginning. Doesn’t matter if it’s an anime about tsunamis. There must be a beach episode and you must make nothing happen during said beach episode.
6. Flesh out backstory about that person who lost his/her ____ in a ____ incident involving ____.
7. Completely ignore backstory and characterization of awesome side characters that are awesome, because if you do have backstory, J.C. Staff will have no reason to animate your show.
8. There’s a kuudere/childhood friend/stupid person who actually is a RUSSIAN SPY, and s/he KNOWS EVERYTHING THE OTAMOT IS DOING.
9. One of the EVIL BADDY’s minions come. Russian spy kills it.
10. You must add a lot of filler episodes. More filler episodes. What, you say that 70% of your chapters are filler? NOT GOOD ENOUGH. J.C. Staff needs at least 86% for even a CHANCE of animating.
11. Evil baddy comes back and makes tsundere collapse into dere mode. Otamot starts talking about ETHICS, MORALITY, and HOPE, and how you shouldn’t STEAL PEOPLE’S DREAMS. Oh yes, your otamot must have DREAMS because they are the most important things in the world.
12. Immediately after NONVIOLENT speech about HUMAN DIGNITY and VALUES…
13. TOUMA PUNCH
14. Filler episode/it happens that NOTHING HAPPENS and the otamot’s still a stupid otamot.

Step 9: If you have seriously followed these steps…

…you are an idiot.

This was a horrible anime, sorry. Something that I forget the plot, main characters, and can’t remember anything but stupidity on the part of the producers is not something that I can just calmly accept.

Oh yes, Step 10:

…you must have this guy.

He makes everything better.

Overall Rating: 2/10 (Bad)