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Tiger & Bunny Half Season Review

Tiger and per se and amp semicolon Bunny is about a tiger, a bunny, and, per se, an amp semicolon. What am anp semicolon is knowing, I don’t.

No, it’s actually about Kaburagi T. Kotetsu and Barnaby Brooks Jr., a crime-fighting duo of justice!

In the fictional city of SternBild (obviously modelled after real-life New York City), superheroes appear to arrest criminals who do criminal things. These superpowered people are collectively known as “NEXT” – they got superpowers because of [insert explanation here], which happened 45 years ago. Since no scientist would want to study something as trivial as /superpowers/, I guess, still, nobody knows why.

Kotetsu, the apparently sole Japanese resident of SternBild and also the only Japanese-looking one, is not actually Japanese-looking and looks more like an American whose great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-wheat-great-great-grandfather twice divorced lived in Spain for seventy-two years of his life. Because of his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-wheat-great-great-grandfather twice divorced’s misgivings, he is not very popular with the general people.

Popular? Who cares about popularity when you’re fighting baddies?


“WE’RE GOING TO DIE IF WE DON’T BECOME POPULAR IN THE NEXT THREE SECONDS”

Well, many of the top heroes in SternBild are part of a programme; Hero TV. They are filmed while accomplishing their heroic feats, and get hero points for each heroic feat heroically performed. Sky High, a hero with the ability to control wind, wins the prestigious title ‘King of Heroes’ for accumulating the most points in the past season.

Kotetsu, on the other hand, doesn’t get many points (the only person lower than him is this guy called Origami Cyclone that nobody really cares about) – in fact, since he totally doesn’t care about property damage while saving lives, his original company’s gone bankrupt, forcing him to look for a new sponsor.

Apollon Media, the producer of Hero TV, hires him – along with Barnaby. You see, every hero has a special ability – for example, being heroic, being heroic, or being stupid. Kotetsu and Barnaby share the same ability – they are made 100 times [insert positive attribute here that doesn’t have to do with intelligence] when they activate their ability. Unfortunately, that ability only lasts for five minutes before they become regular people.


Not /that/ strong

Mr. Lloyds, Apollon’s representative, puts Barnaby and Kotetsu on a crime-fighting team together; Kotetsu has been on the job for 10 years now (and even has a daughter, Kaede), so they’ve decided to make him make Barnaby look better. This doesn’t work quite that well, for their morals and values differ quite a bit, but as the series progresses, their relationship improves.

Kotetsu’s past seems like any cliché superhero’s past; he was ridiculed by his students for his ability, his father pooped on him, buses didn’t let him sit on the railings, teachers started wearing hats in class, and the like. Perhaps not the last three. However, one day, Kotetsu was in a bank when it was suddenly robbed! Unfortunately for the unfortunate robbers, a superhero was there to save the day – a fat man called ‘Legend’. Not only was he the first superhero, he convinced Kotetsu to use his powers for justice.


Justice.

Barnbay’s past is much more complex; his family was murdered by an organization, Ouroboros.

..that’s not more complex…

The duo start fighting crime – separate crimes for each of the first six episodes. However, they all intertwine at the end, as some robbers from Episode 1 are killed by powerful flames in a prison – set on fire by the antagonist of Episode 3, a black bomb/terrorist-mechanic.


“…It’s wearing that costume.”

That’s all there is for plot; the other characters include Blue Rose, a slut highschool pianist that controls ice but can’t control her sluttiness or her hair colour properly; Rock Bison, a person; and Dragon Kid, a dragon kid.

Actually, one more guy. Fire Emblem, a man with rather… interesting tastes, was accused of murdering the episode 1 robbers, as he can control very powerful flames. However, not only does he find the real culprit, the black man, but he also sees the black man being burnt to death by another NEXT…

…and the black man was a member of Ouroboros.


He attracts thousands of viewers every day

Damn, I can’t find any funny pictures in this show. I can’t even find anything funny to edit – all of the scenes above have not been edited in the slightest.

I have to admit this show has a thing for humour, if by humour, you mean ‘chuckle once in every episode’. Sure, the building talk was deliciously hilarious, and someone should totally make a song out of it, but that was probably a mistake by the producer.

Here’s some nitpicking that doesn’t make sense if you haven’t watched the show. Can’t decide whether to or not? Well, Tiger & Bunny is one of those shows that you would watch if you had more than an hour of time a day – it’s not particularly funny, the plot is not particularly captivating, the action is not particularly epic, but it’s still a super-standard (as opposed to sub-standard) show. There’s nothing really new in this show; it’s probably not going to be surprise hit or a surprise miss, really.


I guess it’s a pretty Stern city

If you have time, though, this is a pretty nice show that reminds us all of how SOMETIMES ANIME AND WESTERN CARTOONS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME, DEAL WITH IT ELITIST FAGGOTS

Haha, I was writing a post about that, but I guess I never got to it. Tiger & Bunny does seem a lot like an American cartoon – it’s got amazing 3D battles, it’s got heroes beating criminals, it’s got people talking about morals and values while kicking other peoples’ asses. To be honest, I’ve never actually watched an American superhero cartoon, or really anything (my TV is permanently tuned to either the Business News channel, the News News channel, or the Chinese News channel), but I don’t think cartoons are as different from anime as many people think. Pardon my bad wording the previous paragraph.

Anyway, back to nitpicking: why didn’t Kotetsu just kick the bomb off the building in the first place? I always thought that the bomb was connected to wires or something on the top, but it was actually just a toolbox with a bomb in it… they could have just taken the bomb out through the elevator and leave it on top of a mountain or something. Why do bombs always have timers, anyway? Why can’t he just rig it to explode right then? Perhaps the black guy is actually working for Hero TV, making situations occur. That’s not too much of a stretch, is it?

Why don’t people’s clothes rip when, y’know, they’re BURNT TO DEATH or SHOT BY BULLETS? Why are these ‘uber-powerful super-strong 400000000000000 degrees mega-super-hyper-flames’ capable of killing someone in three seconds, but not capable of withstanding the mighty force of… Kotetsu’s jacket?

Final ‘bad’ note – the Engrish announcing episode titles is bad. Really bad. If I were more prejudiced towards Japanese people announcing episode titles in Engrish, I would give this show a 0/10, just because the Engrish announcing episode titles is bad. Really bad. But since I’m not more prejudiced towards Japanese people annoncing episode titles in Engrish, I would like to tell you that this sentence is the best thing I have ever written.


Hah hah hah

Some things in Tiger & Bunny seem to be bad, but are actually pretty ‘realistic’. For one, their non-explanation of NEXT. What could they say? What. Could. They. Possibly. Say? Can you think of /any/ explanation for super powers this diverse? There is none! So for things where there is no possibly explanation, just say that! Shove it in your viewers mouths, plainly do not explain, openly admit there is no explanation. That’s the work of a true hero…ic company. What’s more, the episode-by-episode ‘wow there’s a murder every day’ also makes sense – as opposed to other stories, like Detective Conan. Since these heroes are monitoring the entire city of SternBild, there’s bound to be a lot of crime.


Money can’t buy a better face

Speaking of that, why is there still crime in SternBild when everyone knows badass heroes are going to whoop their asses? Even if they are NEXTs themselves, can one hero defeat ten? Against the entire police force and military, as well? And of course, thirty million members of the general public?

I was wondering about this for a bit when I realized that the Bible was not a short story collection written by God.

The healthy do not need a doctor – the sick do. SternBild is certainly very sick; any city where civilian vehicles are plated with TEN INCHES OF STEEL and have FULLY EQUIPPED MACHINE GUNS, without anybody questioning such insane antics. Even more insane are the producers of Hero TV – while heroes are getting SHOT by robbers, while heroes are FALLING OFF BUILDINGS, and while heroes are DYING IN AN OIL RIG, Hero TV STILL somehow gets cameras to record EVERY SINGLE THING THAT THEY ARE DOING. Those cameramen are the real heroes of the show.


This is the cutest person in the whole show, believe it

I wonder if real-life companies are paying for their sponsorships on the show – it certainly is an unique advertising idea, and the companies on their suits are all real-life companies today. Pepsi is certainly paying a huge amount – if by huge you mean $30 per episode.

Finally, let me end on a note: Tiger & Bunny is very emotional. By emotional, I mean it’s not about fighting enemies. It’s about the morals behind them.

Alas, as Kotetsu so demonstrates, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

(Who the heck was stupid enough to read this whole post? Who the heck was stupid enough to write it, even)

2 responses

  1. That is a super-peachy-keen post. Thanks for really blathering on like that! Seriously, I don’t think I could have spent more effort wishing for something heavy to fall on me to erase that nonsense from my mind!

    2011/05/30 at 22:53

  2. *throws blithering idiots down a well off the coast of Finland*

    2011/05/30 at 23:10