O-New: Now Extinct Website

The IDIOT, the CHESS, and the SUMMONED BEAN

(Alternative Title: STUPID ANIME IDEAS II: THE SEQUEL)

So one day, there’s this guy. He’s an idiot. Like he’s really stupid and doesn’t do anything well. He only has one ‘hidden strength’, which is his ability to garden. But that’s all, he doesn’t even know what the plants he plants are called or how to eat them, but he is able to magically plant REALLY STRONG PLANTS.

Anyways, on the last day of elementary school, he finds a BEAN on the street. Being the gardener that he is, he plants it.

After a year, the BEAN PLANT has grew into a BEAN PLANT. He HARVESTS the beans and, being stupid, eats one.

SUDDENLY, HE BECOMES SUPER SMART. He realizes that this bean will make him smarter, and selfishly decides to hide it so that nobody else can eat the beans. Thus, he kills the bean plant and stores all its beans in a box.

HOWEVER, after an hour, he suddenly is an idiot again, and promptly forgets what the heck happened, continuing to garden and shit.

Now, like ANOTHER YEAR LATER, his CHILDHOOD FRIEND forces him to join the school’s CHESS CLUB, which is in desperate need of members cause chess is a stupid game and only stupid people play it. Our main character, being an idiot, starts playing chess, which is all fine and well as only stupid people play it.

There are like three other members of the club, and one person’s like a SUPER SMART COOL GUY, and another person’s like A STUDIOUS INDIVIDUAL (i.e. a nerd who is not cool and wears huge glasses), and another person’s like A GANGSTER GUY who plays chess because of HIS DARK PAST. Anyways they don’t matter cause you can change their personalities whenever

They practice chess and quickly find out that our main character is an IDIOT, but they go to a team chess competition the next day anyways. It’s a 5 on 5 tournament with each person facing another person in two rounds of chess, and our main character is the last one to play. He loses both matches to his opponent, but because his team’s so good, the final score is still 5 – 5, so a tiebreaker game must be played… by him.

He finds a BEAN in his pocket (somehow), and being extremely hungry and an idiot, eats it.

SUDDENLY, HE’S SUPER SMART and he easily decimates his opponent, letting the team advance to the next round.

His childhood friend briefs him on what happened, and he realizes that he only has, I don’t know, 60 beans left, and each of them only last an hour. Finding that he’s actually has a passion in chess, he devotes much of his time to studying chess.

Eventually, three years later, it is the WORLD NATIONAL INTERNATIONAL CHILDRENS’ YOUTHS’ TEENAGERS’ HIGHSCHOOLERS’ CHESS COMPETITION TOURNAMENT MATCH! He uses up almost all of his beans to beat their opponents in each round until the last round, where he only has three beans left. However, his opponent takes a lot of time for each move, and although he draws one round, he ate all of his beans to get that draw.

So, without beans, he must use his OWN BRAIN POWER on the final match. However, he realizes that HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AT CHESS NOW, but still can’t beat his opponent, who takes a lot of time and plays extremely solidly and traditionally, sticking to Classical strategies.

As the tables turn away from his favour, our main character starts to panic, but because of THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP he KEEPS HIS COOL.

Finally, just as he’s seemingly about to lose with his opponent unleashing an UNSTOPPABLE CHECKMATE, he throws ALL OF HIS PIECES at the enemy king, and wins the game with a completely unexpected CASTLE, which CHECKMATES the enemy.

As he is crowned the WORLD NATIONAL INTERNATIONAL CHILDRENS’ YOUTHS’ TEENAGERS’ HIGHSCHOOLERS’ CHESS COMPETITION TOURNAMENT CHAMPION WINNER NUMBER ONE MASTER VICTOR, he realizes…

…he’s still an idiot.

6 responses

  1. …Ok.

    2011/10/02 at 00:06

  2. IT’S AWESOME GODDAMMIT

    2011/10/02 at 00:46

  3. NO!

    2011/10/02 at 06:12

  4. IT’S AWESOME GODDAMMIT

    2011/10/02 at 06:16

  5. Mind is broken. That twist at the end. Man.

    2011/10/03 at 02:15

  6. IT’S AWESOME GODDAMMIT

    2011/10/03 at 03:00