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Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai! 1 [Impressions]

I don’t know, I’ll try to blog all these three shows differently. That said, this is indeed the final show that I shall be blogging this first half-season (until December), along with Ben-To and Horizon.

Anyways, man, there was anime club today. They watched Ben-To, which sucks, when they could’ve watched cool shows like Mirai Nikki which they had downloaded. They also used gg’s subs and everybody left saying how the quality was shit. Anime club, keep failing.

They also had Kamimemo from last season (episode 1) downloaded, which is like…

Damn, the bad part about this is that I only talk in three different voices. One is HEY SUP man this show is AWESOME and I’m a FUCKING CAPITALIST and man this is THE SHIT dude dog. Two is hey so this show, it’s like pretty good. I think it’s pretty good because I’m a God. I think I’m God because God rhymes with Dog rhymes with palindromic frog. The third, and final, voice, is used when I write highly formalized and ‘well-researched’ posts about numerous facets of non-Western cultural identity, i.e. weird Chinese cartoons. Seeing as it will take much effort to create a well-researched post on such Chinese cartoons like ‘Majikoi’, I will either come up with a new voice, or continue being a capitalist.

Actually, why not try this voice for a while. Perhaps it will, as they say these days, ‘work in’.

First, we see a girl with an eye-bandage. I assume that she has wounded her eye in an unfortunate incident involving scissors, a suspicious absence of mirrors, and machine oil. In short – do not attempt to cut your eyebrows with scissors in the absence of a mirror after you have just oiled your car without wearing gloves.

Before we are able to delve more into the past of this troubled girl, we receive a warm introduction by a reporter hanging rather adventurously out of a helicopter. Back when I had a full head of hair, we used to grab the rotating blades of helicopters to get to school in the Winter. The buses did not run, as four-metre deep snow covered every road, and it was too treacherous to climb over the mountains on foot, and so our entire school relied on helicopter transport. Only the most wealthy children were able to rejoice in the comfort of hanging onto its landing skids. The inside of the helicopter itself was used to store our pet bears, as they were unable to latch on to anything outside of the helicopter.

The reporter is, as you would expect, rep…osting the post that she thought she posted last night. It was regarding a rather curious battle formation in which armies were jammed together like on a Shanghai subway, aimlessly wandering around without structure. I have provided the diagram above as an illustration. Although the jumble of flags suggests a general lack of leadership, it is still a battle formation. Notice how tightly red swarms around the dense blue centre – a strategic location for blue, which seeks to reinforce key strongholds by concentrating its forces at various disconnected points. Regard how red is fragmented into three distinct divisions, shepherded by blue’s thin forces. Red seeks to occupy territory, and to destroy blue by removing its strongholds one at a time. It is comparable to mice fighting ants. Although the mice are large and powerful, they are not many. If the ants occupy enough territory, they have the advantage of concentrating its forces to defeat one mouse at a time. Although the ants are spread and plentiful, they are not concentrated. If the mice divide themselves at strategic locations throughout the ant front, they can easily stop the ants’ combined efforts.

The post itself was of an incident that occured earlier that week. At a certain Tanzawa in a certain Kanagawa Prefecture, a certain Kawakami Academy has decided to incorporate martial arts into its physical education courses. After a few days of martial arts training, the school decided to renew old books and rivalries by staging an all-out library trip and war. Its students thus prepared, they embarked on an advance indescribable and impalpable.

I have provided the illustration above as a diagram of how the music proceeds. Indeed, it is not particularly exciting if you are not listening. It is essential that you use earphones /and/ eyephones for the full experience. Simple speakers will not properly play out the music. It is undoubtedly one of the highlights of this episode – quite literally, for people do jump out of helicopters.

When I was a kid, you didn’t jump out of a helicopter to get to school. I really don’t know what’s wrong with kids these days.

When I was a kid, we backflipped out of a helicopter, while on a kite-skateboard. Not to say that we were standing on a kite-skateboard – no, it was our pet bears that stood on the kite-skateboard. We had to create our own rockets to attach onto our textbooks so that they would not freeze, as it is not particularly warm two kilometres above sea level. We could never be late, as our teachers would compel us to recite 700 lines from the Book of Mormon each second we did not arrive at class, and so, we all timed our jumps to perfectly coincide with what we called the ‘Slide Cloud’. It was a cloud that moved at a speed of around 1,500 km/hour. When we jumped, we usually managed to slide down the Slide Cloud, and thus get to school on time. The most difficult part of sliding was the physical difficulty of studying mid-flight. We were able to read two physics textbooks simultaneously while holding onto the helicopter’s rotor blades, but gravity moves too quickly for our eyes to adjust, and so, we were only able to read one book at once while sliding. This led to many days without food, as we received approximately 20 hours of homework a day.

The de facto commander is a hardened male chauvinist who firmly believes in the superiority of men over women. However, he hits a bump in his ideology as he realizes the physical superiority of many of his female companions over himself. Thus, he resolves to become the ultimate dictator of Japan and ban females from the planet.

After arduous, back-breaking mental torture in middle school, consisting primarily of drilling single-digit addition problems (Our main character is not particularly good at math. He is also not particularly good at thinking), he was accepted to the prestigious Kawakami Academy, where he quickly rose through the ranks to become the Supreme Commander of Second Years in Charge of Supplying Gatorade! Energy Drinks in Battles Against Class S or A During the Days of September the Fifteenth to September the Twentieth, Yearly Until Resignation, Dismissal, or Graduation. The position holds much power, as longer positional titles give with it a larger sense of pride. The Supreme Commander of Second Years in Charge of Supplying Gatorade! Energy Drinks in Battles Against Class S or A During the Days of September the Fifteenth to September the Twentieth, Yearly Until Resignation, Dismissal, or Graduation (SCo2YiCoSG!EDi BACSoADtDo09t15t09t20 YuRDoG for short, or ‘So to you because EDiBAC 91520 Your Dog’ pronounced.) is thus an extremely prideful title.

Although the characters in Majikoi are FUCK I GIVE UP

ARGH DAMMIT HOURAI BLOG FOR ME

I CAN’T WRITE LIKE IHIS

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH

CAPITALISM

Cover Rating: 9/10 (Legendary)Blogging
– The characters are nice but not pretentious in design, like Horizon’s;
– It plunges you straight into the show with a dash of mystery that is not resolved, like Bento’s;
– Pure action, all the way; the most intense episode I’ve seen since REDLINE;
– Loses one point because the z-coordinates of the enemy team went from 900 to 30 in less than ten seconds, even though the elevation of each army hardly changes at all. Do they measure coordinates in millimetres?!
– Loses another point because this post was so hard to write;
– Loses all other points because the anime was…

…pointless.

OH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MAN THAT’S THE SPIRIT OF THIS BLOG

CAPITALISM AND POINTLESSNESS

2 responses

  1. Pingback: 2011 Fall Anime First Impressions « O-New

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