O-New: Now Extinct Website

Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon 2

O-NEW is not an animoe blob! Nor an Annie Blog.

Man, so this post is pretty LATE but that doesn’t matter because HORIZON IS SUPER COOL and those have EVERYTHING TO DO WITH EACH OTHER

So at the start this girl is like RUNNING and SUDDENLY now SHE’S A TEACHER. Woah, how does that even HAPPEN?! It’s like the MAGIC of the MAGICAL PLACE which is called MUSASHI which is the FLOATING SHIP everybody lives on. It FLIES through AIR like a normal ship would flow through water, and you can SEE that the air is PARTING around it and shit. It’s like super cool. Also, when it lands, it has ITS OWN DOCK which is like AN ENTIRE VALLEY between two mountains and it’s filled with like 300,000 tons of water or something. Probably. Yeah. AND THE SHIP ALSO FLOATS ON WATER

Actually, how does Musashi fly through the air, if they’ve lost all TECHNOLOGY? I’ll bet it runs on NUCLEAR NUKES, and they have like 1,500 that were made by the SOVIET UNION and they’re going through like one bomb A YEAR, and I don’t even know alright

BUT IN 1500 YEARS, MUSASHI WILL FALLING?!?!??!?!?! Man, I feel sorry for those people.

So anyways, the girl is RUNNING and SUDDENLY now SHE’S A TEACHER is HONDA MASAZUMI is also the STUDENT COUNCIL VICE-PRESIDENT. Because in the FUTURE which is the PAST which is now like 1500 TESTAMENT ERA, students are very important and they are all BUREAUCRATS. Why? Because MUSASHI is FLOATING and FLOATS AROUND and if you are on Musashi then YOU ARE A BUREAUCRAT. What floaters, they’re all in my eyes everyday I think I need to go to my dentist.

Anyways her mom DIED in a GRAVE and she came to MUSASHI only a YEAR earlier. She wanted to MARRY some rich influential GUY so that the HONDA family would be really COOL and more INFLUENCE. Buttttt nobody likes her so she became a GUY to create INFLUENCE but suddenly their bosses FIRED them because suddenly, ROBOTS

But they don’t have the TECHNOLOGY for robots but they don’t care because ROBOTS are AWESOME but Masazumi was sad and went to Musashi was Masazumi was Musazumi was Masashi.

The class Masazumi teaches is NORMAL and so is OTHER CLASSES but the CLASS that MAKIKO teaches is NOT ONLY PE, because MAKIKO teaches ALL OF THEIR CLASSES, including HISTORY so we’ll talk about how they try to REWRITE HISTORY. This post has been rewritten. I’m actually posting this on Saturday, because nobody posts posts on FRIDAY FRIDAY FRIDAY NOOOOOOOO

So there was HARMONIC UNIFICATION WAR which was not MELODIC because MELODIES are DIES and IRAES are IRAS are DANTALIAN NO SHOKA. The DIVINE STATES were on EARTH and the HARMONIC DIVINE STATES were on OTHER EARTH which was created by TECHNOLOGY and TECHNOLOGY by creating NEW UNIVERSE. But suddenly TECHNOLOGY ran away and everyone was too lazy to catch TECHNOLOGY back so HARMONIC DIVINE STATES suddenly fell onto EARTH and suddenly WAR AND STRIFE.

HARMONIC DIVINE STATES is such a bad name. I mean, it makes sense in Japanese because it’s probably like only three characters long, but in English… maybe ‘HUMAN WORLD’ and ‘DIVINE WORLD’ would make more sense, or even ‘ORIGINAL WORLD’ and ‘TRANSCENDED WORLD’ because transcended is such an AWESOME world. Word. Dawg.

So SUZU is this girl WITHOUT EYES because EYES are for BLIND PEOPLE and so she just NO EYES, man isn’t that SO COOL? Also, what was REALLY COOL about this scene was that EVERYBODY SAID SOMETHING that SAYS SOMETHING about their CHARACTER, except HASSAN because he’s INDIAN and TOO COOL TO CARE.

The good thing about this is that NOW, you KNOW that there’s that one guy who cares a lot about MONEY, and that other guy who cares a lot about FOOD, and that Aoi Tori is REALLY AWESOME, and that his sister is REALLY STUPID. Because Aoi Tori decides to CONFESS TO HORIZON who is actually a ROBOT. I bet YOU’VE never confessed to a ROBOT before. That’s because 1) you suck 2) you’re not Aoi Tori 3) you suck 4) you will never be Aoi Tori 5) you suck. A lot. See, that was in RONDO FORM because I always structure my posts around MUSICAL FORMS.

So this ROBOT is not actually HORIZON, who is a girl who died 10 years ago. She looks like Horizon, though. However… Aoi Tori looks the same AGE as the ROBOT, who he says looks a lot like HORIZON. If Aoi Tori is 17 (I’m about 301% sure he is), then the ROBOT also looks 17, which means HORIZON also was 17. But she would’ve been 17 ten years ago, so Aoi Tori would’ve been INTO HORIZON when he was only SEVEN. Man, this guy is so PRECOCIOUS. And PRETENTIOUS. And PRETTY AWESOME.

The ROBOT is called P-01S. I don’t know whether that means she’s a P-01 ROBOT and there are MANY OTHER P-01 ROBOTS (P-01s), or that she’s a P-01 ROBOT, and there’s a P-01A, a P-01B, etc……….. dotdotdot……. dot…. dots…… P-01S ROBOT. Because JAPANESE people don’t pronounce Sesses to make things PLURALIZATIONED, and since they did pronounce the EsssssssssssssSSSssSSs????

So AOI TORI visits P-01S EVERY SINGLE DAY. He was also AWAY from MUSASHI for like a DECADE. How does that even work I don’t know but Aoi Tori MAKES IT WORK, so DEAL WITH IT. Apparently P-01S was born from a SOUL but at least that’s not A THOUSAND SOULS EVERY SINGLE DAY. Or FORTY-THOUSAND. Now you know how P-01S was SINGING like that, it was because she was not a HUMAN HORIZON, she was a ROBOT it was a ROBOT it was a ROBOT that was singing the song of a thousand dead souls.


Apparently souls play a part in HORIZON because when TECHNOLOGY ran away, SUDDENLY GHOSTS. And now Aoi Tori wants to EXORCISTIZE them, because he is BLUE and EXORCIST. Also I guess there’s SHINTO and MIKO SPIRITS because MUSASHI goes through a VIRTUAL TEMPLE GATE when it enters into STEALTH MODE. How do you make a city-sized ship go into stealth mode, I don’t know.

Guy: “hey dude man whats that blur in the sky”
Dude: “i dont know guy. probably just smoke or something”
Guy: “dude maybe the skys just messing with our eyes”
*Guy stretches his arms up*
Guy: “ow dude i think i hit something”
Dude: “what? loloololol you stoned guy”
Guy: “no seriously dude its AWAGRGGHAHRWHFHFHDHFDHF-”
*Guy is crushed under invisible object*
*Dude is crushed under invisible object*
-Disconnected from Server-

Darth Vader: “man bro you forgot to deactivate the stealth systems”
Bro: “why do we have stealth systems on the death star anyways”
Darth Vader: “i dont know anyways the death star landed on Earth now what”
Bro: “lets put stealth mode on again and make people confused for the next century because nobody can see the death star”
Darth Vader: “cool idea bro”

Also everybody says JUDGE so I guess they JUDGE each other a lot. That’s just AWESOME YO. I mean, imagine if we said judge every day.

Client: “You got my call?”
Lawyer: “Judge.”
Judge: “What?”
Client: “He’s on second.”
Judge: “Who?”
Lawyer: “He’s on third.”
Client: “No, who’s on first.”
Lawyer: “Judge?”
Judge: “I don’t know.”
Client: “He’s on third.”
Judge: “We’re talking about who’s on first right now!”
Lawyer: “Isn’t who on third?”
Client: “No, who’s on first.”
Judge: “See, Client gets it.”
Lawyer: “Judge.”
Judge: “Yes?”
Lawyer: “Fudge you.”

The music is so COOL in here just like BEN-TO, but INFINITELY TIMES INFINITELY TIMES cooler. There’s like TECHNO music and then like CLASSICAL STRINGS and then like CLARINETS and shit. And then when they’re talking about WARS and EVERYBODY WAS SAD and then HAPPY TECHNO MUSIC YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I especially love the mood changes in Horizon. It shows that the main characters DON’T CARE WHAT THE FUCK is happening, they’re so cool they can play techno music WHENEVER THEY WANT and they’ll still be COOL.

Especially Aoi Tori, again. He makes breast jokes ALL THE TIME. It’s so HILARIOUS. See, he wants to grope the breasts of a ROBOT, right, but to get the feel he first gropes the breasts of his CLASSMATE! Who lets him, but THEN SHE DOESN’T! Man, that was hilarious. I totally did not expect the turn at the end, it just had me clinging to my seat in laughter. Who would’ve thought that she didn’t want Aoi Tori to grope her?!

Mitotsudaira’s hair is SO AMAZING. You know how some people have POMPADOURS which are held up by gel, and some people’s pompadours (Ryu from Shaman King, Grevil from Gosick) are SUPER DUPER LONG? Well, Mitotsudaira DOESN’T HAVE A POMPADOUR. Instead, her hair GOES ALL THE WAY AROUND HER BODY. Seriously man that is like super cool. I’ll bet it will later be revealed that she actually SHAVES her BODY HAIR because of the following scene:

Aoi Tori: “Man I want to have sex with a robot but I need practice on somebody, Mitotsudaira, can I first try on you because your lady parts feel like a robot’s?”
Mitotsudaira: “Sure! I fully support you in your quest to have sex with a robot, because that’s what you need to do! Go ahead!”
-10 minutes later-
Aoi Tori: “Man that was pretty cool, now I’m ready to have sex with a robot!”
Mitotsudaira: “…”
Aoi Tori: “I owe you one! I’ll like probably buy you some juice or something as thanks!”
-Mitotsudaira kicks Aoi Tori so hard that Aoi Tori moves three centimetres upwards-

The coolest thing about Horizon is the people who try to RELIVE HISTORY. They want to relive history because doing so will help them discover how to create nuclear bombs so they can put them in Musashi and allow it to float in the year for another several years. As they want to relive it exactly as it was, they create a book, the Testament, and also create automated robots and floating ships because that helps history stay exactly the same as it was. There are also some people who develop eroge because developing eroge will help history remain the same, and because Japanese people needed eroge in the 16th century.

That sounded unnecessarily sarcastic, but what I’m saying is, Horizon is awesome because the people who chose to relive history DON’T GIVE A FUCK about all that and GO WITH IT ANYWAYS. They don’t bother with planning in advance and shit like that, they live in the present and and and and yeah. WHICH IS AWESOME.

tl;dr: These blobs are so bloggy and cute and I wish O-NEW was an animoeblob instead of something as shitty as an ISSS.

P.S. Grandparents are here, they do not approve of my Korean cartoons
P.P.S. They do not disprove of them either as I do not watch animated children’s shows in front of ageing seniors
P.P.P.S. I wish I was Pope President Innocentius
P.P.P.P.S. I would be the Pope AND the President

2 responses

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