Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai! 7

I must say, to-day has been quite an exceptional day. That is to say, it was quite extraordinary. What I mean is, to-day has been most amazing. Long story short – it has not been a very good day.

You may wonder as to why this post has been so unpunctual, and I answer thee with the following most bizarre chain of events.

My mother, who is now of old age (she is two hundred and fifty four) and who can barely lift a horse, thus being unable to lift a car, let alone a bus, instructed me to help her neaten up the premises around the mountain home of which we lived. As we possessed twenty million square feet of alpine land, it was quite the task to wash it all, but being a skilled rock skier, snowshoe climber, and dog-sled hiker, I finished the task in two score and six minutes.

However, as I was climbing back up to my 5000-metre-high mountain summet home on dog-sleds and snowshoes, I slipped on a banana peel thrown carelessly on the cliff face, and slipped several hundred metres before coming to an abrupt halt. It appeared that I had landed face-down on a giant, sharp diamond that jutted out from the edge of the mountain. However, in my long life, I had witnessed many profound acts of stupidity, which lead to myself first striking my face with my palm, then my head with my desk, against a wall, and eventually until my head could smash through a triple-grade highly insular doubly-reinforced three-inch steel titanium plate of a uranium-lead hybrid metal mixture without suffering much damage to my overall composure. Thus, I suffered merely a head scratch from the fall.

Thinking myself saved from a further fall (and thus, a longer climb back up), I breathed a sigh of relief, but the diamond shook and soon slipped itself out of its hole. Reacting explosively, I launched myself into the air and propelled myself above the rock face, using the falling diamond as a temporary landing point. Gazing from above, I watched the diamond disappear into a point underneath me, but with no regret, for everything within my land was rightfully mine.

Finally, I swiftly leaped up several hundred metres within the span of fifty-and-fifteen seconds, reaching the doorstep of my mansion with a blazing halt, before realizing that my hands were red. It appeared that I was bleeding from the gash, which was more pronounced than I expected. Eventually, my entire body was dyed red by my blood, but I did not worry, for I always took several gallons of extra blood along on all of my excursions.

However, the clock soon struck 3:59, and I realized that I would have to compose a stunning article about ‘Mage Yecoy’ within a minute. It was impossible, even with my furiously fast typing speed of five words an hour. Thus, this article was delayed. I hope you are pleased with my explanation, and do not punish me by diverting your attention to another sit-NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! STOP THIS MADNESS THIS INSTANT DON’T PRESS THAT ‘X’ BUTTON DON’T DO IT THINK OF THE CHILDREN! JUST THINK OF THE CHILDREN YOU MURDEROUS BASTARD! I CAN JUST IMAGINE THE EVIL, EVIL, TREACHEROUS FACE ON YOU RIGHT NOW… WHY?! WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

And onto the article proper. Mage Yecoy again demonstrates its superb use of what whippersnappers these days call ‘Bull, et Thym’. The term is French in origin, and comes from a classic movie, «le Bull n’est pas Rogue», a charming story of a bullfighter who is disillusioned by the sport, and subsequently buys a bull. He then raises the bull on a ranch, where the movie takes on a ‘slice-of-wives’ approach, showcasing the various mistresses (and of various species!) the bull acquires through his days. One of the most memorable scenes in «le Bull n’est pas Rogue» is when the bull is chewing grass on his pasture when he sees a patch of thyme near the highway. He takes a bite of the thyme and is entranced by its taste, but instead of eating it all, tramples over the patch, for he knows that thyme cannot grow in his own pasture.

This is similar to what happens in Mage Yecoy. Yecoy, who is now aging, has conquered much of Greece and Bulgaria through his magical terrorism, but is tired of his violent ways, and vows to change. He hones his persuasive skills and, now as an influential and well-regarded public orator, soon asserts his prominence over the nearby territories of Albania, Macedonia, and Brazil.

The events of this episode occur just after the Brazilians declare him Prime President. He sits down to reflect on his life, and realizes that, due to his nationality, he will never be able to conquer America. However, a CIA official arrives and briefs him of the results of a confidential mock vote commissioned by Congress, which shows that 97% of Americans want him in as President. Nevertheless, he knows that he will never be able to integrate America with the rest of the world, and proceeds to detonate numerous nuclear bombs, which explode over the country, rendering it uninhabitable.

Mage Yecoy also makes use of ‘bullet time’, but Yecoy’s bullet time is not Neo of «Maitrx d’»‘s bullet time. Whereas Neo must physically exert his back to bend as to avoid the bullets, ‘limbo-style’ (à la «l’Incéption»), Yecoy does not need to move, for he summons a forcefield that deflects the bullets. Many different people have written their thoughts on Yecoy’s power. Is it deflection? Is it blinding the eyes of the attackers? Or is he merely lucky? Whatever it is, the show leaves the explanations up to the viewers.

As I was browsing around TV Tropes to weed out possibly vulgar words that could corrupt the minds of young children (such as ‘bad’, ‘antagonist’, and ‘uncharacteristically’), I came upon a most interesting article that definitely did seem to fit as a descriptor for Momoyo, the primary female antagonist of Mage Yecoy. Hypocritical Heartwarming is, frankly, quite a stupid trope name. Whoever named it has no sense of style, skill, sarcasm, satire, sense, and Brazil.

tl;dr: munch munch

P.S. Kawakami Sign: Golf Club Rampage