O-New: Now Extinct Website

Ben-To 9

Another late post! Argh, this keeps happening!

Yet another #SuicideSaturday passes, and WOAH, I guess I’m a zombie now or something? This is what happens when you’re late for Chinese school and for posting about Chinese cartoons on a blog or something I guess.

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but MAN these girls at my Chinese school are the most otaku otakus I’ve ever went to Chinese school with. Last week they were all talking about translating light novels into English with their superior Chinese ability – either that or just reading them in Chinese, I was too busy not being an otaku to hear exactly what they said. Anyways, this week, they started talking about Kateyakaueo Hitman Reborn and how Dino was so 可爱 what with his clumsiness and clumsiness and clumsiness.

I have a not-very-friend called Dino. He’s clumsy and has clumsiness and clumsiness and I don’t think he’s very 可爱. :(

They continued talking about how 可爱 Dino was and eventually talked about how he was 超可爱 after 10 years, before one of them realized that Dino wasn’t the ‘cow kid’, who was Limbo and in limbo because he couldn’t accept the inspection of the inception.

tl;dr: my tongue is bleeding

protip: if you want not to laugh, don’t listen

超protip: don’t bite your tongue

it hurts

But now, I finally understand why Bleach focuses so much on those incredibly stupid designs/fashions/clothing/whatever, or why everybody in Reborn is drawn with so many lines. It’s to appeal to the massive hordes of fangirls. Thankfully, my ideology will completely immunize me from becoming a weeaboo, an otaku, or a fanboy. My gender will keep me from being a fangirl. In case you’re wondering, my ideology about anime: don’t watch it.

So there I was, not watching my anime in front of my computer, and

By ‘you’, I mean ‘anime’, by ‘see’, I mean ‘watching’, by ‘to’, I mean ‘Ben-To’, by ‘wanted’, I mean ‘want to see’, by ‘badly’, I mean ‘should always’, by ‘suddenly’, I meant ‘flying through the air’, and by ‘I’, I meant ‘fishes’.

That is to say, I suddenly wanted to see bad anime.

Thus I opened up my hard drive with a screwdriver and a screw before finding that you had a few screws loose in your head drive, which I drove through with a car that was neither a screw nor a Porsche which is not a Borsche which is actually borscht soup.

The trouble is, I recently linked O-New to Google Webmaster Tools. After two score minus fourteen sleepless fortnights of waiting, Google Webmaster Tools finally gave me some information about the most relevant keywords on O-New.

In fourth place, with four thousand, eight hundred, and ninety (4890) occurrences: ‘Mushyrulez’ (and a variant, ‘Mushyrulez’s’).

In third place, with eight thousand, two hundred, and seventy-four (8274) occurrences: ‘anime’ (and two variants, ‘animes’ and ‘anime’s’).

In second place, with ten thousand, four hundred, and sixty-nine (10469) occurrences: ‘post’ (and two variants, ‘posts’ and ‘posting’).

Finally, in first place.

Forty-nine thousand, nine hundred, and sixty-nine (49969) occurrences:

‘shit’.

tl;dr: This post wasn’t actually about Ben-To, was it? WELL YOU JUST DONE GOT TRICKED HAHAHAHAHA

P.S. MUSCLE COP GETS TEN THOUSAND VIEWS A WEEK, THAT’S TEN TIMES MORE VIEWS A WEEK THAN I GET :( HOW CAN THIS BE

BRB IT’S #SUICIDESATURDAY COMMITTING SUICIDE WITH A LONG CORD OF ROPE, AN AXE, A CHAIR, A LARGE BLOCK OF ICE, A LOCK, THREE POUNDS OF SALT, HALF A KILOGRAM OF SAWDUST, THREE AND A HALF CANS OF BEER, SEVERAL BISON, A THIRTEEN-CENTIMETRE-LONG NAIL CLIPPER, A WELL OFF THE COAST OF FINLAND, as well as several parkas, 361 millimetres of vodka, two Texas Instruments graphing calculators, seven National Geographic magazine covers, a partridge in a pear tree, a half-used box of tissue, two matches, a broken lighter, and several rusty nails.

OK I’m back but now I need some measuring tape, a hot-air balloon, four helium-powered watches, scuba diving gear for a party of fifty-five people, two high-back spinning office chairs, $1677.57 in spare change with an equal amount of nickels, half-dollars, toonies, pennies, and quarters, a spare tire, eight bowling balls of different sizes, thirty days worth of canned survival knives, and a mahogany frame door.

Hmm, apparently I still need half of an office-size laser photocopier/scanner/printer/fax machine, a stained glass window from a West End church, two hundred pairs of matching socks, eight life-sized Matchbox cars, a fully functional alarm clock, a queen-sized bed mattress, two three-zone Translink bus passes, a ticket on the London Underground, three live trout, five dying spiders, the Mona Lisa, a Greek lamb, several bricks from the East end of the Great Wall of China, and a life.

…So I got everything except the last one. Awww.

2 responses

  1. Pingback: 2011 Fall Anime Second Thoughts « O-New

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