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Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai! 12 [Completed]

Perhaps ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ is too lengthy a designation for a show of such length. Perhaps, it is ‘tl;dw’ – ‘terribly lengthy; [a] disaster [to] write’, or ‘tiredly laborious; describe [it to me without] words’? Thankfully, I, the great master of simplicity, shortening, and pastries, have just the innovative solution you need to cure yourself from ‘the laziness [of] death wishes’!

Is ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ a disaster to write? Write no more, for we shall relieve you of your upper limbs in some time [if] at all! In the rare occurrence that our timely services are insufficient, we have exercised our great mental capabilities to manufacture a shorter, more efficient, and unique acronym for ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ Instead of numerous other ineffectual abbreviations such as ‘Majikoi’, ‘Denisai’, or ‘Mawakoshi’, simply write ‘cqX7′ in place of ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ Instead of typing all thirty-two characters, you need only express four.

Was that not what you were looking for? Were you hoping I to describe cqX7 without words, for watching cqX7 was tiredly laborious? You must be a senile old fool to tire from such a terse expedition. Nevertheless, O-New values every single or married senile old fool that visits our senile, old, foolish site. Worry not, senile old fools! Behold! A picture suffices for more than nine hundred and eighty-two words:

As the proverbial proverb projects, pro-what proceeds pro-around, progresses pro-around. A formidable first episode will progress invariably into a formidable final episode – this episode, episode twelve, the final episode, the episode after the penultimate episode, the episode after the episode after the episode before the penultimate episode, and the episode that all persons are talking about besides persons not talking about this episode of cqX7, Majikoi, Denisai, or Mawakoshi, all labels given to the same identity which shows its final episode today, Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!

*fanfare*

What I’m attempting to disclose is, this episode was awesome.

To be Sinatra, it is quite difficult to not create an impressive final episode when you must conclude everything. I shall create a numbered list of what unresolved situations have been carried over from the penultimate episode:

6. The Prime Minister must be ministered to, primely.
5. The Optimus Prime must be primely optimized.
4. Kuki Hideo must appear.
7. Oshitari Azumi must appear.
⑨. Amakatsu Mayo must appear.
10. Sakakibara Koyuki must appear.
13. Inoue Jun must appear.
18. Aoi Touma must appear and BREAK your IMAGINE-ation.
23. Kuki Ageha must appear.
24. Fukumoto Ikuro (also known as GREAT MONKEY-LEGEND OF THE EAST, YONPACHI-SAMASTER) must appear.
27. Matsunaga Tsubame must appear.
35. Kazama Shouichi must appear; as according to 8 * 9.
40. Fushikawa Kokoro must not harass women.
41. Morouka Takuya must appear.
45. Haguro, Kuroku (also known as THE DIVINE COBRA) must appear.
48. Oogushi Suguru must appear.
53. Margit Eberbach must appear.
59. Ogasawara Chika must appear.
72. Kazama Shouichi must be known as MOTHERFUCKING CAPTAIN MOTHERFUCKING KAZAMA SHOUICHI.

96. Touhou must be copied.
102. Kawakami Signs must be invented.
103. Kawakami Signs must be used.
103.5. Kawakamiha!
106.78. Yamato must fight Saki and almost win even though she is a trained military captain android robot that can read his every move.
109 and 2/3. Yamato must do nothing; except if in conflict with 5339 / 50.
115 – 1.5. The heroines must demonstrate the ability to cleave through solid steel.
115 – 0.5. The heroines must be unable to destroy stop signs pulled from the ground; until 115.5.
115 + 0.5. Yamato must speak lies and untruths like a true substitute Prime Minister (because of 354 / 59).
115 + 1.5. Addendum to 115 – 0.5; the heroines must be incapable of rupture golf clubs made in the Glorious Middle Kingdom.
120 + 1. Bullets must be fired.
120 + 1a) Bullets must be dodged; or as directed by 121b).
120 + 1b) Bullets must be deflected; or as directed by 121c).
120 + 1c) Bullets must be sliced in half; or as directed by 185d).
12 + 123. Such a grandiose battle must only be fought between inebriated ruffians and vicious schoolchildren; and also the items mentioned between 4. and 81.
8 * 17. Such a grandiose battle must not be dealt by the Japanese Self-Defense Forces.
137. The Prime Minister must not flee in the midst of such a grandiose battle.
6 * 23. Takae must not kill the Prime Minister; instead, she must focus on attacking puerile lovestruck teenagers and sophomoric tacticians, who pose a larger threat to her plans of world domination.
13^2. Yamato’s father must demonstratively be a weeaboo, disillusioned with being recognized as an otaku, who flees back to his native country in great shame, dishonour, and sadness.
5d) + 90 * 20. Bullets must not hit; unless as directed by 70e.
~570.84 / 3. Bullets must hit Momoyo, and she must exercise her powers as directed by 206 / 2.
60.8π. Music shall be utilized to its utmost potential in formulating the maximum amount of insensibility.
~5.33^π. The Opening Theme shall be utilized to its utmost potential in formulating the maximum anticlimatic background to a climatic action scene.
199. Masterfully composed orchestral music shall not be utilized in any fashion whatsoever lest it ruin the anticlimatic mood of the episode.
200.002. Godwin’s Law is true.

Lamentably, it appears that not all problems have been adequately resolved – for five, Optimus Prime has not even made its appearance in cqX7, and now that it has concluded, I doubt it will.

As reliable sources may suggest, the Visual Novel of cqX7 was approximately cqX7 times more interesting than its animated adaptation. Yet, even cqX7′s visual novel (hereonafter referred to as ‘cqY9′) could not have resolved all circumstances listed above. Let us remember – these criteria were only concocted by the animation itself. Thus, cqY9 was not ‘better’ than cqX7; it merely presented less predicaments for itself.

If I may, I shall compare cqX7 to the Higg’s School of Thede Advertisements, also known as High School of the Dead, Highschool of the Dead, High of the School-Dead, Dead School of the High, Dead School-highs, School of the High Dead, HotD, HSotD, HotSD, DSotH, DS-H, SotHD, HoftD, HSoftD HoftSD, DSoftH, SoftHD, HD, HSD, HSD, DSH, and SHD, but which shall now be referred to as ‘cra3′.

Both cra3 and cqX7 brings its scope on the head of the school; that is to say, both encourage violence, sexualization, sobriety, the throwing of rocks, the eating of rock cakes, and the rolling of both violence, sexualization, and sobriety into the proverbial snowball of snow and balls.

If you are an innocent, God-fearing pure-hearted kind, noble, and virtuous Christian, you shall not like cra3 nor cqX7 for their focus on violence. If you are an innocent, God-fearing pure-hearted kind, noble, and infertile man suffering from erectile dysfunction, you shall not like cra3 nor cqX7 for their focus on sexualization. If you are a drunken, God-loving stoned happy-go-lucky homeless dispomaniac, you shall not like cra3 nor cqX7 for their focus on sobriety.

Conversely, if you are a ‘stoner’, you shall enjoy both cqX7 and cra3 for their throwing of stones. If you are a fine Italian delicacy, I advise you try not to be consumed, unless that is your ‘thing’.

What I am trying to say is, don’t be Stephen Harper in a time of crisis.

Many people reminisce upon my discussions about the Weeaboo and the Gun Otaku, including and limited to nobody. As a refresher: they are members of the proverbial Anime Club, who verb all the nouns, otakuize up all the classrooms, and weeabooize up all the hallways. As you may expect, they are thus pro-verb and anti-noun, preferring to eliminate all non-gerundized nounings froming the Anglicized vocabularings.

What do you get when you mix the Gun Otaku with the Weeaboo? A weeaboo and a gun otaku! Even I chuckle at my mischievously clever puns every several hundred decades.

In the rare case that the Gun Otaku or the Weeaboo have watched a show such as cqX7, I would expect them to catalogue a list of every firearm that appears. However, the Anime Club President has declined to show such a program in the Anime Club. (I daresay he is a drunken, innocent, God-fearing stoned pure-hearted happy-go-lucky God-loving, noble, infertile and homeless virtuous Christian dipsomaniac suffering from erectile dysfunction and lack of being a fine Italian delicacy.)

Hmm. I retract my previous statements.

Moving on, I shall proceed to talk in detail about cqX7 and its profound influences on our modern visual culture.

Overall Rating: 2/10 (Bad)

P.S. Not a 1/10 because this last episode really was quite nice, 7/10 if not 8/10. Rewatch it (yes, rewatch it), but keep it in mind that Majikoi (whoops, I mean, cqX7) is making fun of itself. It suddenly gets ten times better, and you’ll slap your previous self in the face for not realizing it. The producers probably just went ‘oh man Majikoi is so stupid, let’s just make fun of this stupid thing while simultaneously making it as awesome as possible’ while being stoned, drunk, pure-hearted, God-loving, and infertile dipsomaniacs. Reminds me of a certain lolicon…

6 responses

  1. Uh, this, uh. What?

    I liked the parts where you zoomed into their faces, lol, that was nice.

    But, yeah, this show was bad, then it was really bad, so I stopped watching. Good post.

    2011/12/21 at 07:26

  2. One day I’m going to write a bad post about a good show, and then you’ll say:

    Uh, this, uh. What?

    I liked the parts where the director zoomed into their faces, lol, that was nice.

    But, yeah, this post was bad, then it was really bad, so I stopped reading. Good show.

    2011/12/21 at 18:38

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