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Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon 12

Continuing my spree of rewriting history (it rhymes just like a tree that recently learned to speak), I have written a post on Flying Witch, a manga oneshot. This would’ve been a simple link if the post were a simple post, but NOPE – the post is not actually about a manga oneshot, and nor is it about flying witches! Care to find out more? Then read the post, and give me DOUBLE the traffic I usually get today, even though 93% of the traffic I get on any given day is from people searching pedo bear, pedo bär, or pedo baer.

What I’m trying to say, is:

SPANISH SHOCK.jpg

‘Ah, in Horizon, TOO MANY THINGS HAPPEN IN ONE EPISODE. Even when it’s just a debate, information from Horizon flies out at a pace faster than the ground speed of a Spanish swallow. Compare this to Majikoi, where even during the most intense of battles, nothing actually happens. The battles in Majikoi last half an episode and you learn nothing; the battles in Horizon last three minutes and you’re still overwhelmed with information.’

…is what I was going to say before this episode aired. Then, this episode aired and I can’t say that anymore. Why?

Because nothing happened this episode.

Well, there was a magical pink ribbon, but that’s about it.

Every time I watch an episode of Horizon, I first watch it, and then after I’ve watched it once, I rewatch it, and then after I’ve rewatched it once, I write a post, and then after I’ve written a post, I sometimes rewatch it a second time.

Well, not this time – and it’s not only because I don’t want to spend my Christmas writing posts about foreign cartoons, but also because there’s nothing more to understand.

There’s some thing about PARALLELISM and DEBATES, but those things don’t really matter. Real debates aren’t about arguing through parallel lines or whatever, real debates are about yelling your head off at your opponent until he can’t hear. Once your opponent cannot hear, you then play a voice recording with a radio that you’re holding behind your back that asks ‘Do you admit that you are stupid and that your argument is flawed?’, while mouthing the words: ‘Do you believe that I am stupid and my argument is flawed?’ Your opponent, being unable to hear, will not hear the voice recording, and if you’re holding the radio behind your back, he won’t even be aware of it. Thus, he’ll read your lips, and respond ‘Yes!’ However, everybody else isn’t reading your lips, because they’re listening to the voice recording, and they’ll think that your opponent admitted to be stupid and having a flawed argument.

What I’m trying to say is, DEBATES ARE NOT FRIENDLY MATTERS.

Actually, wait, that’s not what I’m trying to say!

You know how traps are boys who seem to be girls, and if some potential rapist decided to rape that trap, he’ll suddenly realize that, SPANISH SHOCK – the girl is a boy, and thus un-rape-able! (Actually, this is untrue, but I do not know this from personal experience or anything.) Similarly, if some potential rapist decided to rape a robot trap, he’ll suddenly realize that, SPANISH SHOCK – the human girl is a genderless robot/automated doll, and thus un-rape-able! In fact, the automated doll may decide to rape the rapist!

Thus, Horizon is most definitely a trap, as she is an automated doll rapist that looks like a girl.

WAIT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT because in an Euclidean space, there is at most one line that passes through a point without intersecting another line that is beside the point.

This seems like a non sequitur, but it isn’t, because on a spherical space, there are no lines that pass through a point without intersecting another line that is beside the point, because all lines intersect…

…at the horizon.

WAIT NO going back to the original topic of traps – I think this episode focused on Aoi Tori setting a logical ‘trap’ for Horizon to fall into. BUT WAIT, HOW CAN IT BE A LOGICAL TRAP IF IT’S ILLOGICAL

This is a question that will never be answered.

AND THAT’S NOT THE POINT THAT LIES BESIDE THE LINE AND IS PASSED THROUGH BY ANOTHER LINE PARALLEL TO THAT LINE EITHER

The original point was Horizon’s battles being packed SHOCK full of information. I’d really like to see a battle that /wasn’t/ full of internal monologues, a 30-second battle that /didn’t/ take ten minutes to play out. Come to think of it, Horizon doesn’t have many battles, does it? Even the ground troop fights are short and to-the-point.

Moving on… to the SECOND SEASON, which is CONFIRMED to air in the SUMMER of 2012. Oh boy, I can’t WAIT to see all those characters that were seen in the introduction to episode one but who NEVER EVER DEVER APPEARED EVER NEVER DEVER AGAIN. I wonder if Sunrise will continue with this style of SHOCKing information and FRENETIC FLURRIES of FRENZIED frenzies, or go with a more subdued, political intrigue-y approach.

But I FINALLY understand just HOW this can be only the INTRODUCTION to Horizon – y’know how the introduction to Dragon Ball was just like:
‘hey Goku collect the draggin’ balls’
‘ok but I’m not gay ok’
‘sure whatever just get some balls man’
‘are you insulting me’
‘this is beside the point and perpendicular to the horizon’

WELL, the introduction to Horizon did something similar:
‘hey Aoi Tori collect the armaments of deadly sins’
‘ok but I’m not mr. improbable ok’
‘sure whatever just be impossible man’
‘are you insulting me’
‘this is beside the point and parallel to the horizon’

tl;dr – Writing this post was NOT far easy, but at least it made as much sense as this episode did (not much)!

P.S. I don’t get what happened this episode.

P.P.S. Black Algae-tan is hella cute (left page, bottom right). I didn’t even know what they were called!

P.P.P.S. Episode 1’s title is ‘Those Lined Up Before the Horizon’, and Episode 13’s title is ‘Those Lined Up Above the Horizon’ – the titles are the same, except the kanji ‘前’ (before) is changed to ‘上’ (above). THAT’S PRETTY COOL MAN!

…or would’ve been if Commie didn’t translate the title for Episode 1 as ‘the Rulers in front of the Boundaries’…

3 responses

  1. This post made exactly as much sense as the episode. And it’s awesome. That Spanish trap comment is hilarious like my cat is an engine.

    2011/12/25 at 01:48

  2. There was never a comment about a Spanish trap. There was a comment about a robot trap and a robot cat but there was never a robot cat and the robot trap wasn’t actually a duck, either.

    The more you know?

    2011/12/25 at 04:50

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