Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon 13 [Completed]
So, I was up all night (that is to say, until 9:00) doing my science project (that is to say, watching random anime that aired two months ago). Thus, this post is late, tardy, belated, unpunctual, delayed, not on time, etc.
Horizon is definitely a controversial show.
When it began, I was all like ‘YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THIS SHOW IS SO AWESOME, LOOK AT HOW HORRIBLE THIS PACING IS AND THIS JARRING BACKGROUND MUSIC, LOOK AT THE ANATOMY OF THE FEMALE CHARACTERS AND THE DEPTH OF THAT GELATINOUS BLOB OF JELLY!! ALSO INDIAN PEOPLE THROWING CURRY PLATES, WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THIS?!?! 2/10 blogging’
Turns out Indian people don’t throw plates of curry EVER AGAIN in Horizon, but that’s alright, because god was it a ride.
First, everybody (that’s right, EVERYBODY, admit it now) knew instinctively that Horizon would be a horrible, horrible show. It would suck like the proverbial whore with the chest size of the characters in the show, because what else would you do with such a rack? Oh, right, to aim arrows, of course.
“I’m a robot! I can’t suck!”
Next, things just didn’t make sense, even with WELLS of voice-text (which, uh, can’t actually exist, but). I understand not making sense because you’re not explaining enough, but NOT making sense even after explaining TOO MUCH? How does that even work!?
Things continued not making sense, even as Suzu’s tearful backstory was explained. Which makes sense, because explaining some random girl’s backstory isn’t going to help the audience understand WHAT THE WELL IS GOING ON. I’m not sure if anybody was actually tearful at her backstory. I certainly was, in the sense that I wanted to print out a picture of EVERY CHARACTER IN THE SHOW on a piece of paper and TEAR it. Get it? TEAR-ful? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA yeah
And suddenly, wars. Suddenly, EVERYTHING just got better. Giant ARMIES clashing together, random magical abilities that DESTROY WHOLE CITIES, giant Christian MECHAS, and robotic maids who control gravity. ROBOTIC. MAIDS. Who control GRAVITY.
But that’s not all. The political INTRIGUE set in, and I was taken in a flashback into that anime I STILL haven’t completed, the Legend of the Legendary Heroes, an anime about the legend of the legendary heroes. It was a great anime, with a start much better than Horizon, and in general, it was better than Horizon. But Horizon was catching up.
Suddenly, from figuratively stabbing myself in the eyes every time I forced myself to watch an awful episode of nonsense and writing an awful nonsensical post, I was excited. I wanted to watch more Horizon (and write more awful nonsensical posts)! Like the proverbial eaters-of-curry, I knew that Horizon was building up for something, and sat eagerly waiting for my meal.
But of course, pacing issues KILLED the show. The direction was HORRIFYING, transitions from DANGEROUS BATTLE into discussing plans of ALL-OUT WAR in, uh, a classroom? That hardly makes any sense! And then Horizon’s TRUE FAKE NATURE shone through – it doesn’t make sense until it makes sense, and it won’t make sense until you’ve watched it – but you can’t watch it unless it makes sense. In a nonsensical catch-22 of NONSENSE, Horizon sat its fat little fat big proverbial BUTT. I don’t think I’ve ever wrote ‘butt’ on this blog before, except when talking about butter, buttons, and headbutts. I GUESS I JUST PREFER ASSES that’s not even a joke yes it isn’t what have I written
Then came the great fights and debates that showed Horizon’s TRUE SECOND NATURE – Horizon isn’t about wars and fighting, it’s about words and SHOUTING and also wars. But this wasn’t Horizon’s climax; the debates were BORING, the proverbial curries-of-eaters were getting IMPATIENT, and the HORRENDOUS first half still made Horizon a PITIFUL anime.
Finally, the final battles. Was this possibly what Horizon was BUILDING UP towards? Why is it only one cour long? Why does it end with this as the climatic battle, when there are so many QUESTIONS unanswered, STATEMENTS unheard, and uh, EXCLAMATIONS unexclaimed?
Nooooope. It doesn’t.
And that’s when it clicked, and everybody understood, and Hassan came out and gave the proverbial eating-of-curry to everybody who needed it.
It’s a prequel.
The prequel to the second season, coming out in half a year.
For a prequel…
Overall Rating: 4/10 (Good)
tl;dr: Horizon represents what to do with high birth rates: make the children in charge of warfare, have them kill other children from other countries, eventually most children will die from dying
P.S. Here is a sheet of black algae. I’m sure many will appreciate it. Too bad it’s not a .bmp, and thus you can’t actually copy and paste it without having ugly green specks all over the place. OH WELL
P.P.S. Baseball wasn’t invented in the 1500s, and Spanish people started playing more soccer instead of baseball in the 1970s…