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2012 Winter Anime Part Two

[Suspicious Announcement: It’s a very special day tomorrow; bonus special crackers to anybody who can guess what that day is…]

Woah, woah, woah. You didn’t think that that was the end, did you? Did you miss that ‘2012 Winter Anime PART ONE’ at the end of the post title? Or are you wondering why I’m using rhetorical questions in a post about anime previews? Let me first tell you that I am a master at rhetoric. Some people can’t even toric normally, but I toric over and over and over again.

Woah, woah, woah. You didn’t think that I’d publish these 2012 Winter Anime (Preview) posts consecutively, did you? When you saw that Tower of God review, you didn’t think that my 2012 Winter Anime (Previews) would be over, did you? Well, guess what? It’s not over. And I can’t write them consecutively. They take too much time.

Seriously, I even had to password-protect the first post for three hours before I finished it, and it took me four hours past the publishing time to finish this. I doubt I’ll finish the next part on time, or even off time. :(

[Suspicious Disclaimer: The Season Preview Chart (click it!) stolen from @cowboybibimbop, because I’m too lazy to upload it myself. ‘Information’ (read: biased opinions) stolen from Sea Slugs! Anime Blog, METANORN, Random Curiosity, UK Anime (by Hanners of Hanners’ Anime ‘Blog), Star Crossed Animefirst dat Blog, and Emory Anime Club. Yes, one day I’ll, uh, stop making suspicious disclaimers. But that day’s not today. And it’s not a day anytime within the next five to nineteen years. I promise~! wait that’s a bad thing huh who]

Kill Me Baby

…Perhaps that’s not what they meant.

Kill Me Baby! is by J.C. Staff, the series composition was done by the guy who killed Yumekui Merry, and it is about killing

you

baby

(as you may know, babies are not) Advasserinatisementons

Potential: 0/5

As you can see, the titles this season are ordered by rating. Thus, Kill Me Baby! is the worst show of this season. Because it’s made by J.C. Staff. Who is also making, oh, six other shows (Shakugan no Shana III and Bakuman 2 continuing from last season, Tantei Opera Milky Holmes 2, Zero no Tsukaima F, Ano Natsu de Matteru, and Kill Me Baby).

Yeah I can tell that J.C. Staff is going to give Kill Me Baby all their experienced staff and adept animators instead of the newbies and amateurs

right

Poyopoyo Kansatsu Nikki

There’s that phase in a blogger’s life, when after writing a three-point-two-thousand-word ‘part one’ preview and in the middle of writing a three-point-seven-thousand-word ‘part two’ preview, he just decides to stop.

Stop writing, and start BATTLING with the DUEL of the COPIES OF PASTRY.

THAT’S RIGHT, the ULTIMATE BATTLE between the ferocious and fearsome MYANIMELIST versus the fantastic fighter ANIMENEWSNETWORK. WHO WILL WIN!?!?!? Tune into ULTIMATE BATTLE ASSAULT FEUD WAR SHOWDOWN today, ONLY at O-New!

ANN: “Moe Sato is a young lady who finds a cat and starts taking care of him. Named Poyo due to his round shape, he quickly becomes a dear member of the Sato family.”

Moe Sato, eh? I guess she’s pretty moe. From this summary, I can tell that this is about a Garfield-esque cat who engages with a moe Sato. Unfortunately, all we’ll see of moe Sato are her legs, while she gives Poyo blood. Because, uh, that’s what cats want. Blood.

MAL: “A slice of life anime about the Sato family, who keeps a round shaped cat named “Poyo”.”

See? There’s no moe Sato here. There’s no confusion about this anime being about a moe Sato. Is Sato a family name? A tribe name? A school name? Is Sato what they call people who study at the Stanford Academy of Technological Offices? Is Sato what they call people who work in Shanghai And Tianjin Occupations? In the ANN definition, we didn’t know. But in the MAL definition, one look and you’ll see, oh, this is a slice of life anime about the Sato family, who keeps a round shaped cat named “Poyo”. Simple. Fast. Efficient.

Just how I like my anime previews.

Just not how I write them.

ANN 01 – MAL 02

(as you may know, this anime is) three minutes long

Potential: 0/5

AND THE BATTLE-FIGHT CONTINUES!!! WHO WILL WIN???? IT’S NOT GOING TO BE ME!!!! BECAUSE I’M NOT EVEN COMPETING????? INVASION!!!!!! You’ll also notice that instead of obnoxious <h2> tags, I’m just bolding the titles of the anime. How incredibly unobnoxious of me. Amazing, isn’t it? The sad thing is that it’s good practice to use <h2> tags, and the <h2> tags only seem obnoxious because I can’t edit the CSS to make them unobnoxious. OH WELL

Papa no Iukoto wo Kikinasai!
(English Translation: Listen To Me Girls, I’m Your Father!)

God, the only thing I hate more than having question marks and apostrophes in anime titles are commas. I try to write down ‘Listen To Me Girls, I’m Your Father!’ as a tag, but I got ‘Listen to Me Girls’, and ‘I’m Your Father’ as separate tags. Y’know, I also have a tag called ‘Luke’, and another called ‘Pedo Bear’. If these got mixed up, people would think I’m writing about ‘Listen to Me Girls, Luke’ and ‘Pedo Bear, I’m Your Father’.

Question marks and apostrophes are equally bad. How will people tell the difference between Shinryaku! Ika Musume, and Shinryaku! Ika Musume, which is the second season, but can’t be made into a ‘Shinryaku!? Ika Musume’ tag because WordPress doesn’t parse question marks?! How do people tell the difference between Mirai Nikki (the OVA) and Mirai Nikki (the anime)?

Darn, I hate anime.

Listen to me girls, I hate anime.

Listen To Me Girls, I’m Your Father (hereafter abbreviated as ‘LTMGIYF’, which can also stand for ‘Learn To Motherfucking Goddammit I’m telling You to shut the Fuck up’) isn’t really helping. After the success of Bunny Drop (which shrewdly decided not to animate the, uh, controversial ending), I guess Listen to Me Girls, I’m Your Father decided to not capitalize on Bunny Drop’s success at all, by creating a heartwarming emotional family drama about pantyshots, pedophilia, and lolicons.

Really? Is that what anime is nowadays? Why does this get 26 episodes, and UN-GO get cut off at just 11? Why does this get 30 minutes of airing time, while Nyanpire only gets 3? Not saying that Nyanpire is good or anything, but…

Actually, it doesn’t even have 26 episodes. It has 12 episodes. I don’t know what that reviewer was thinking. Maybe he was me. In disguise. In the skies.

I think ANN wins this round now. Brevity, succinctness, wit, and honesty. I Love To Make Gardens Incredibly and Yearly Flat, and Listen To Me Girls, I’m Your Father is truly a show about lolicons.

MAL 02 – ANN 02

(as you day-rou) daru (also warning, lolis and fat daru)

Potential: 1/5

Even so, I heard that the manga was good. That doesn’t mean anything, though. I mean, just look at the next show up, Highschool DxD (which I assume means ‘Dungeons and Dartmouth Park’).

Highschool DxD

I was just watching my brother play Terraria when he started talking about Sword Art Online being really good. I agree with him that Sword Art Online is very good, because I agree with people who say that things are very good, especially when that person is not a person and is a light novel light magazine who says that Sword Art Online is the best light novel of 2012. Even though 2012 has hardly started yet. Which means Sword Art Online must be very good.

I was just watching my brother play Terraria when he started talking about Highschool DxD being really good. I agree with him that Highschool DxD is very good, because I agree with people who say that things are very good, especially when that person says that Sword Art Online is really good, and it turns out to be very good.

However, some most all the people seem to disagree with me, saying that Highschool DxD isn’t very good.

Even MAL and ANN. See, let’s compare what MAL and ANN say about Highschool DxD…

ANN: “The story follows Issei Hyōdō, a dim-witted, lecherous second-year high school student who is killed by a girl on his first date ever.”

MAL: “The story follows Issei Hyodo, a dim-witted, lecherous second-year high school student who is killed by a girl on his first date ever. (Source: ANN)”

…well.

Let’s take off half a point for both of them for implying that Highschool DxD isn’t very good.

ANN 1.5 – MAL 1.5

I was just watching my brother play Terraria when he started talking about Highschool DxD sucking. I agree with him that Highschool DxD sucks, because I agree with people who have the propensity to punch me in the face, especially when that person is punching me in the face. Which means Highschool DxD must suck.

So, my conclusion.

(as you may know, Highschool DxD) sucks [nsfw] and is a disgrace to chess players everywhere across the land

Potential: 1/5

I admit, I’m a little biased because my brother told me that Highschool DxD sucks. Also because everybody else told me that Highschool DxD sucks. My brother still says the light novel is awesome, though. I don’t trust him anymore. He still punches me in the face.

Recorder to Randoseru Do♪

‘Recorder to Randoseru Do♪’, or in English, ‘Recorder and Randsell’, is about a bar of soap. Which is randomly sold. Rand-sell. Also a recorder records who the bar of soap is sold to, as it continues being sold to many different people across the land. It’s randomly sold by rolling a pair of dice, with words on top such as ‘buy’, ‘sell’, ‘steal’, and ‘record’.

Back in Summer, Morita-san wa Mukuchi aired. Back in Summer, my simmering, summing, something mind dismissed it as ‘What kind of stupid crap is airing this season >_>’. The funny thing was, the studio wasn’t even J.C. Staff! It was some unknown studio known only as ‘Eight’.

This was a mistake.

The unknown studio is actually unknown as ‘Seven’. And that’s the studio who’s producing Recorder and Randsell.

Now, the only anime that Seven has independently created is Morita-san wa Mukuchi, which had 26 episodes over two seasons. The thing is, each episode was three minutes long. Really? I was pretty amazed when Nyanpire came out in Summer – an anime with three-minute episode was just ridiculous! And then, gradually, I realized just how much anime out there comes out here in three-minute segments. Fireball Charming. Nyaruani. You Are Umasou.

And out of those, I’ve only watched You Are Umasou. Which sucked. Like a lollipop. Because lollipops are delicious.

Even if I wanted to watch this (like I wanted to watch Nyaruani) I wouldn’t. Sorry.

(as you may know, a 4koma manga is a manga

with four komas

what happens when you animate one 4koma for three minutes? find out with) Episode 1 of Recorders and Auctioneers in SPANISH SHOCK

Potential: 1/5

Speaking of three-minute long anime…

Busou Chuugakusei: Basket Army

Busou Choogakusei: Basket Army is about – wait, you guessed it – Buso Chogakusei: Basket Army.

An army of busto chogakusei baskets an opposing army of flato chum-gakusei. It’s an all-out battle between the busty chos and the flat chums, but the only skateboarder around is only known as ‘Ba’.

While the armies of Busty Choga-cushions are fighting the Flat Chum-cushions, Ba skates across the ba-ttlefield, ttlefielding all the ttlefields in his/her way.

I’d totally ttlefield this Busty Choga shit until Ba skates down the flat Chum-cushions, but all this terminology just goes over my head! Plus, they’ve decided to air – wait for it – an episode.

Yes, they’ve decided to air an episode. Just like every other show. Except the episode’s five minutes long.

And they’re going to air one episode – wait for it – once in a while.

Yes, they’ve decided to air an episode once in a while. Just like every other show. Except the ‘while’ is ‘every other month’.

Is it worth the two-month-long wait between episodes just to see busty chugging cuisine fight against flattened cushions? I don’t think so. But if anything, Ba skating and ttlefielding will probably save the show.

(as you may know, each episode is actually) Five Minutes Long.

Yes, that right there was the first episode. I’m not allowed to watch it because I haven’t finished writing this post yet. So I haven’t watched it yet. And I probably won’t. Low marks for airing three five minutes of anime every two months. You can do better :(

Potential: 2/5

Basket Army isn’t worse than Black Rock Shooter. Not many shows are worse than Black Rock Shooter. But Basket Army’s length makes it worse than Black Rock Shooter. I guess I was lying about that ‘Basket Army isn’t worse than Black Rock Shooter’ part. Haha. Sorry about that.

Black★Rock Shooter (TV)

Black Rock Shooter is an anime about black rocks that shoot other black rocks.

The fanbase’s biggest complaint with Black Rock Shooter seems to be the shocking realization that Black Rock Shooter actually isn’t Hatsune Miku in disguise. After they shocked shock out of shock’s shocking shockers, they started complaining about the sucking realization that the Black Rock Shooter OVA actually, uh, sucked. I mean, it didn’t actually suck that much, but it wasn’t as good as it could’ve been, and so it sucked. After they sucked suck out of suck’s sucking suckers, they started complaining about the shooting realization that Black Rock Shooter actually shoots on noitaminA.

…They would’ve shot shoot out of shoot’s shooting shooters, but they couldn’t shoot over it.

And so there it stands.

Black Rock Shooter in noitaminA. I don’t think I want to live in this world anymore.

*bang*

(as you may know, black rock shot the) Trailer

Potential: 2/5

But seriously, Black Rock Shooter right after Guilty Crown… what’s noitaminA trying to do (besides make money)?! They know Guilty Crown sucks. So why make Black Rock Shooter, which is exactly the same as Guilty Crown but different? Yes, I just said that! Black Rock Shooter is exactly the same as Guilty Crown… except it’s different!

/dies

Kyousougiga

“What is Count of Reality and Destruction of Negentrophy?”

The main question of Kyousougiga is already raised in cowboybibimbop’s season chart. Kyousougiga addresses this question in a most informative, creative, innovative, and televisive fashion, despite not actually airing on television. Instead, it’s an one-episode anime broadcast directly to the Internet… an OIA? Maybe an ONA? (original net animation)

Imagine my SPANISH SHOCK when I realized that Kyousougiga already aired. Last December. Furthermore, imagine my CANADIAN ROCK when I realized that ONA was already a term. It was the third term. And I got 67% on PE. Because I was away in China. For a month.

Y’know, if I was away in China for a month and the third term is three months long, if I got a 67% in PE that means I must’ve gotten 100% in the other two months, and 0% in the month I was away, right? That’s pretty good!

This partially answers the question; the Count of Reality is a count of the total number of percentage points one receives in PE in the third term of an arbitrarily selected school year. I happened to arbitrarily select the third term of last year. Thus, the Count of Reality is counting to 67.

Negentrophy, not to be confused with Negentropy (negative entropy), is a whimsical word coined to mean ‘may they be denied the trophy!’ Negent is the third-person plural present active subjunctive of negō, which means ‘to deny’ in Latin. A battle cry of ‘NEGENTROPHY!!’ is similar to a battle cry of ‘FOR SPARTA!!’ or ‘CRUSH THEM LIKE ANTS CRAWLING UP MAPLE TREES WITH HONEY OOZING DOWN ITS BARK!!’; however, it is only used during defensive battles, e.g. defending a city from a siege. In this case, the city can be the ‘trophy’, and the defenders wish to ‘deny the attackers the trophy (city).

Thus, the destruction of negentrophy should be a newly devised battle technique that robs the defenders the ability to deny the attackers their defensive pieces. In other words, it is a formation/weapon so deadly that it can not be defended against. Such a formation/weapon would no doubt change the very face of modern military shenanigans, putting all nations on the offensive, and never even to attempt to defend anything ever again. The casualties would be horrendous; not a single word can describe it, and several words linked together, such as ‘terrible’, ‘horrible’, ‘terrifying’, and ‘horrifying’ would not even suffice.

What is a weapon that can always strike and annihilate a target, no matter what? That’s right. The nuclear bomb.

tl;dr: Kyousougiga is about 67 nuclear bombs. I guess it’s about political tension and Tenshi and Sion.

(as you may know, having 67 nuclear bombs is) Possibly Violent

Potential: 3/5

I’m really not sure what Kyousougiga will be like, so a standard 3/5 should do, just like what I gave Natsume. That said, I’ll probably watch this sometime in the next day week month, because it actually looks somewhat interesting, but it’s definitely not on the top of my priority list. I don’t think it’s on the top of many people’s priority lists, seeing as almost nobody even commented on this. Y’know, it’s hard to beat Danball Senki W in terms of ‘on the bottom of everybody’s priority lists’, and Kyousougiga definitely didn’t make it all the way down to the bottom.

Unlike Gokujyo—.

Gokujo.
(Alternative Title: Gokujyo—. ~Gokurakuin Joshi Kouryou Monogatari~)

Yeah what kind of title is that

when I write a post, my titles are brief

crisp

terse

concise

I express opinions in a post with as little words as possible

except in this post

which could’ve been summarized as ‘this season sucks lololol ok bye’.

and this post

which couldn’t have been summarized.

but the titles are always brief

‘2012 Winter Anime Part Two’.

This tells you that this post is the second part of posts

about anime

airing in the winter

of 2012

even bob was hungry and he was also sad because he was bored is in its shortest form

it’s the title of the book

but what don’t I name my posts?

Gokujyo—. ~Gokurakuin Joshi Kouryou Monogatari~. I mean, you’ve already written ‘Gokujyo’, so you know that the story is about Dragon Ball Z. Why do you have to add ‘Gokurakuin’ after that? Why not ‘Goku-jyo and -rakuin’? And now what’s this bit about Joshi Kouryou Monogatari? And what’s this long dash for? Do you really need a long dash there? I mean, typing a hyphen is easy, you can type a hyphen on a keyboard but HOW DO YOU TYPE A LONG DASH? Why can’t you make it a short dash? Some people are fat, like Daru. They can’t run, let alone dash. They can only dash shortly for a short time, and even that with much difficulty; and you expect them to dash longsomely for a long time? Or lonesomely? Or longly?

Yeah, let’s see what ANN has to say about this Goku Joe, Goku rake-you-in Joe, she kill you mono gate a read thing.

Thanks a lot. Real informative, ANN.

What about MAL? “Kuribayashi Minami returns to Japan after a long stay in Los Angeles. She enters an upper-class girl’s high school “Gokurakuin Jyoshi High School”, the so called ” Gokujyo—”. She tries to dominate the school with her beauty but her plan is spoiled by the silly and pervert behaviors of her eccentric classmates.”

Well, that makes sense. And the title is neither about Goku raking Joe in, nor about reading mono kill-gates. It’s about… Goku Joe. With a period. It’s concise. It works.

And it tells me that Gokujo. is going to suck. Look at that picture! What kind of anime has that kind of picture?! Gokujou sounds like an anime about a foreign slut trying to slut up a school, but failing because her sluttiness can’t slut up perverted perverts? The heck?

Hey, what can we know? It might be the next Penguindrum. ANN sure isn’t helping.

MAL 2.5 – ANN 1.5

(as you may know, there was no trailer for penguindrum, either.)

Potential: ?

But of course, we’ve saved the most unimportant shows for last. You thought Kyousougiga was unimportant? Hahaha, because there’s Gokujo.. You thought Gokujo. was unimportant? Think again, ’cause you’ve not seen the

Koi-ken!

(I am a master at rhyming.)

Koi-ken is getting even less attention than Danball Senki W. And even less than Goku Joe —— dash dash hyphen hyphen — minus sign ———period. dot. . .. I mean, at least some people dismissed Goku Joe dash hyphen line minus sign dot period full stop as being a ‘silly, slightly risque (pronounced ‘risky’) anime’, but nobody even MENTIONS Koi-ken! I’m sure at least one person mentioned Danball Senki W! Some people even blogged about Kyousougiga! But nobody says ANYTHING about Koi-ken! And in fact, there’s not even a trailer! Or any information at all! Not even ANN cares about Koi-ken!

Apparently, it’s an anime adaptation of some sort of ‘moe social bishoujo network lolicon mobile eroge game’, that has three million users. You have no idea how I felt when I realized I understood that sentence that I just wrote. Actually, I don’t. I’m not that shameful.

So, if I don’t know anything about this… how do I give it a potential? I mean, what do you know, apparently The iDOLM@STER was a great anime. Who’s to say that Koi-ken! won’t be the same?

I’m to say.

Bye.

(as you may know, people are too lazy to date virtual girls on their bulky laptops, so they’re doing it on their) cell phones instead.

Potential: ?

It really says something when the ‘best’ shows in the list are shows that have no information. And they’re not even the best shows. Koi-ken! and Gokujo. only have the /potential/ to be an awesome show. In all likelyhood, Gokujo. (god I hate these periods even more than I hate question marks and commas) will suck and nobody will remember it, and Koi-ken! will also suck and also nobody also will also remember also it also. The next best show, Kyousougiga… isn’t even a televised show! As I said, it’s an ONA which is not an OVA which is not a LAA which is not a OIA which is OK FUCK YOU ACRONYMS GO AWAY

So the best actual televised show in this post (and by a wide margin, too; the next best after this is Highschool DxD, which is absolutely horrible and atrocious and this is not a biased opinion) is…

…Black Rock Shooter.

This is not a good thing.

WHAT IS ANIME COMING TO?!

I sure hope Part Three of this preview gives us some better anime…

12 responses

  1. I have lost faith in noitaminA after Guilty Crown. They need to redeem themselves and airing BRS isn’t going to cut it

    2012/01/13 at 01:04

  2. Oh no I told you not to read the post

    what have you done

    now the universe is destroyed :(

    2012/01/13 at 01:18

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