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Mouretsu Pirates 1 [Impressions]

I don’t think you guys understand what ‘Mouretsu Pirates’ means.

It means, ‘more sue pirates’.

Which is what’s happening.

Pirates are being sued more.

As you may know, being a pirate is illegal. And ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADING FOREIGN CARTOONS is also illegal. Thus, pirates ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD FOREIGN CARTOONS, and people who ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD FOREIGN CARTOONS are pirates.

Many people in the foreign cartoon community are pirates, as they ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD FOREIGN CARTOONS. However, up until now, the just, honourable and majestic leaders of our righteous country and the equally noble leaders of the admirable United States of America has not taken actions to deter these foul, filthy, fat, friendless pirates from ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADING FOREIGN CARTOONS.

And now we take action! We shall rise against these bodacious beasts and prove that the popular people shall terrifically triumph over unlawful usurpers of our righteous rule! Our parliamentary powers of awesome alliteration shall decidedly decimate these perilous pirates from the face of the Earth! We have already brought down Megaupload, mere minutes after an, ahem, certain person *cough cough* finished ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADING an episode of ‘Mouretsu Pirates’!

Other ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOON UPLOADERS have already begun to fall in their wake, terrified that the divine wrath of the holy United States of America will beset them likewise! FileServe
has taken measures to ban ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOON UPLOADERS such as Commander’A, a manager of the notoriously evil ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOON UPLOADING website Animetake.com. Try to log in with ‘CommanderA’ as a username, and ‘Mushyrulez’ as a password. That’s right, his malicious shenanigans have finally ended; no filesharing website in their right mind would dare offend the sacred United States of America anymore! Their reign of terror has finally ended, for the glorious United States finally rule once more! None can possibly attempt to ILLEGALLY UPLOAD FOREIGN CARTOONS with the exalted United States on their trail! The era of ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADING FOREIGN CARTOONS is OVER!

It’s not just FileServe! Afraid of the magnificent United States’ omnipotent might, uploaded.to has blocked all American IP addresses from accessing their website! This is just a ruse, for people of foreign countries will still ILLEGALLY UPLOAD FOREIGN CARTOONS to uploaded.to; however, soon enough, the supreme power of the United States of America shall ban ALL FOREIGN WEBSITES from EVER uploading these ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOONS!! FileSonic has COMPLETELY SHUT DOWN sharing functionality, as they should! Truly law-abiding, god-fearing citizens of any country in the world MUST abide by the GODLY UNITED STATES OF AMERICA’s hallowed, paramount, and divine laws!

‘Isn’t this akin to terrorism?’ you might ask, ‘you’re just terrorizing those sites to stop uploading illegal foreign cartoons that aren’t even made in America. You have no real write to take those websites down.’

HAH! What a PATHETIC comment, undoubtedly coming from some FASCIST COMMUNIST BASTARD from one of those ILLEGAL FOREIGN COUNTRIES like CANADA. Only a COMMUNIST would misspell ‘right’ as ‘write’! The celestial United States of America has no reason to respond to such an ill-thought-out comment. Learn to spell correctly the next time you dare insult the DIVINE STATES OF AMERICA!

tl;dr: use torrents

Oh, you expected a post about Mouretsu Pirates?

Fuck that shit. It’s all ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOONS anyways. I mean, just look at the numpad in this show! It makes absolutely no sense; what’s the point of having each number on the numpad be two digits long when you only have 16 buttons anyways? You could take off the numbers and just memorize the position of each button. A number only helps humans; machines don’t use numbers for assigning values to the buttons. So why would numbers be so complicated?

See, this COMMUNIST FILTH is just full of loopholes. Mouretsu Pirates condones, and maybe even SUPPORTS pirates, stealing our holy American money. ‘Letters of Marque’? Pah. Those are only used in war. There was a war 100 years ago, and presumably Ririka was alive then, and so now she’s over 100 years old. But is there a war right now? nope.avi

And what the JAPAN is with this horrible OP? Why did they choose Antares as a star? It’s not even the biggest star! ‘Mu Cephei‘ has the same number of syllables as Antares, but the star is larger, and ‘Mu Cephei’ just sounds so much cooler! Why not ‘Tau Ceti’ instead, seeing as that’s where, uh, y’know, THE STORY ACTUALLY TAKES PLACE?! Yeah, that’s right, Tau Ceti, the place which has TWELVE TIMES more debris than the our solar system! I like how there aren’t twelve times as many meteors in the sky.

Do you know what should happen to technology after a thousand years? PROTIP: It improves.

Do you know what happened to technology in Mouretsu Pirates after a thousand years? HINT: NOTHING AT ALL. Except the bikes, which instead of having normal wheels, now have PROPELLERS AS WHEELS. WHAT THE UNHOLY FUCK?! The propellers are facing SIDEWAYS! Even if they were used to provide more power, the only force they’ll provide is SIDEWAYS FORCE, pushing your bike straight into the path of that INCOMING CAR. That’s right – instead of using, oh, y’know, INSTANT TELEPORTATION, or LEVITATING HANG-GLIDERS, or HYPER-SPEED CONVEYOR BELTS, a thousand years in the future, what transportations will humans use? CARS. That’s what.

Don’t even get me STARTED on this MAIN CHARACTER. Just LOOK AT HER COMMUNIST FACE. ‘Outer space?’ she innocently asks.

YEAH, YOU’RE GOING TO OUTER SPACE, AS OPPOSED TO GOING INTO, OH, I DON’T KNOW, INNER SPACE.

You know what Mouretsu Pirates should do? DIE. And then get SUED for being a SUEDE ILLEGAL FOREIGN CARTOON. And then throw itself off a FOREIGN CLIFF. Humble American cliffs don’t deserve this sort of MISTREATMENT. At least the music is somewhat decent. It reminds me of Ikoku Meiro no Croisée, a film about France. Those EUROPEAN BASTARDS, they suck DUCKS. God, Croisée was horrible as well, JUST LIKE MOURETSU PIRATES. I smell a CONSPIRACY here, and it’s not a COINCIDENCE that you can’t spell conspiracy without PIRACY.

‘It’s time for some piracy!’, you say?

WELL, THIS IS WHAT I SAY:

This anime associated with the name ‘Mouretsu Pirates’ has been seized pursuant to an order issued by a U.S. District Court.

Cover Rating: 5/10 (Great)Blogging

tl;dr: so I got food poisoning

P.S. I’m Canadian

4 responses

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