Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 5
I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected.
No, wait. I can.
But I won’t. So I’m not going to say that that wasn’t unexpected, and I’m not going to type ‘that wasn’t unexpected’, either. I suppose I just did. Y’know what? Drown yourself in a well off the coast of Finland. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the post to read what’s actually important.
Let’s open up from a quote from our resident Black★Rock Shooter (TV) expert, Aroduc: “This particular Thursday is apparently trying to set a new record for stupidity.”
Well, that’s not too nice. Somebody here evidently doesn’t like Naruto Shippuuden, which airs every Thursday at 19:30 JST.
What does the other, nicer side of the sphere say? Well, psgels did not even deign to give it a single star (he’s the guy who gives every show at least one star, if not two, every episode). Granted, he says that the episode was ‘enjoyable’, but if an episode of ANY anime WASN’T enjoyable… then something’s wrong.
It’s quite easy for anime to be enjoyable. In fact, with a tiny bit of effort, you can make almost ANYTHING enjoyable, as long as it’s not schoolwork, homework, work work, or housework. It’s quite easy to make housework enjoyable too, if you pretend that all the dust are tiny little people waiting to be hopelessly and helplessly squished by a giant magical kilometres-wide quilt falling from the middle of the sky and that you’re a giant evil alien who has to, uh, clean his house. Actually, no, it’s pretty hard to make housework fun.
But making a television show fun? Heck, as long as things move and people talk (or, scratch that, you don’t even need people to talk! You don’t even need people on the screen!), television will be entertaining. You know that feeling when you slouch on the couch, watching the SHOPPING CHANNEL because there’s nothing else to do, and being ENTERTAINED by it?! You should tell me what that feeling feels like, cause I’ve never been there before, bro.
What I’m trying to say is, nothing.
Now, observe as I swiftly educate emperorj on how to properly use mspaint to add entertainment to otherwise boring articles. Actually, just observe my proper use of mspaint to add entertainment to otherwise boring articles. Just skip the boring articles and observe my proper use of mspaint. Or even, just, like, go away, because SHIT’S GOING TO HIT THE FAN and I’m going to talk SERIOUSLY about FOREIGN ANIMATED CARTOONS for what has got to be the first time in the twenty-five months since I started this blog.
The topic today: Episode 5 of Black★Rock Shooter (TV). Amazing, huh?
This thread has been at my tongue since the anime started. I really hope nobody’s already written about this topic, because that’d make me seem like a copycat. Which is why it will soon be time to whore this post out to the aniblogosphere so that everybody recognizes that I was the first to write about this topic. And then, Random Curiosity or some big blog like that will swoop in and claim this idea as their own, causing their combined readership of 9,999,999 mindless slaves to fling me off the metaphorical cliff of ingenuity and into the rhetorical pit of thievery.
I talk a lot about metaphors because that was what I expected Black★Rock Shooter (TV) to be about. Black★Rock Shooter (OVA) was all just a giant metaphor, a giant metaphor which somehow connected to the real world at the end in a deus ex machina ending that wasn’t even deus ex machina, because deus ex machina implies that the protagonist is in some sort of sticky situation – and the only sticky situation they were in was their FACE!
But Black★Rock Shooter (TV) is different. It’s not a metaphor here, it’s a full-on supernatural mystery.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica was thought to be a full-on supernatural mystery, after the death of Mami. Eventually, at the end, it became just a metaphor. A metaphor for what? Nobody knows. Everybody knows that it’s as ~deep~ as a well off the coast of Finland may be, but nobody can really say what it’s about. Anyways, that’s not the point. Here are the points:
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had normal girls with magical girl powers. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has normal girls with magical girl counterparts.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had evil witches who battled the magical girls in a surreal landscape. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has magical girls who battle the magical girls in a surreal landscape.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had derpy-as-fuck art. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has derpy-as-fuck art.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had emotional breakdowns, including one where a usually calm blonde girl goes insane and kills everyone. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has emotional breakdowns, including one where a usually insane blonde girl goes insane and then becomes calm.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had moe underage middle school girls. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has moe underage flat-chested middle school girls who look like they’re seven.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had an ‘evil’ fluffy cat-thing who pretended to be good. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has an ‘evil’ counsellor who pretends to be good. Both have dubious, possibly ‘evil’ objectives that possibly are not ‘evil’.
Madoka in Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica had to sacrifice her life to save the life of other magical girls. Tomato in Black★Rock Shooter (TV) has to sacrifice her friend’s magical girl counterpart’s life to save the life of her friend. Don’t even, like, ask me or anything, alright? I won’t answer.
Madoka in Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica took it upon herself to [SPOILERS] kill every witch before they were born. Tomato in Black★Rock Shooter (TV) takes it upon herself to [SPECULATIONS] kill every magical girl counterpart before they are born.
Mahou Shoujo Madoka★Magica earned mucho mucho $$$. Black★Rock Shooter (TV) wants to earn mucho mucho $$$.
And that is my conclusion.
Thank you for reading.
tl;dr: Black★Rock Shooter (TV): Irony at its finest.
P.S. Dem teachers/government should learn something about COLLECTIVE BARGAINING from moe underage flat-chested Japanese fictional animated middle school girls who look like they’re seven.
P.P.S. That is to say, they should cut each other’s heads off. Then, all their grief will be relieved, right? It’ll turn into, like, Grief Seeds or something!
P.P.P.S. fucking griefers, taking away Yuu. Wait, this episode didn’t even explain why nobody knew where she went…
P.P.P.P.S. yeah this post was a bit too serious. read the previous post if you want ACTION
P.P.P.P.P.S. Tomato stole [Yomi’s] Precious Thing – her heart!! Like, literally! When you rip a person’s heart out of their body, that’s called ‘stealing their heart’. Bonus points if you do it with a badass green sword, like Tomato did.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Kohata wears her name on her shirt… what a loser.