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Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 6

Sorry for the lateness, but I was so blown away by this post that I don’t even know what to say anymore.

Oh, actually, I do know what to say.

I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!!! HAHAHA!! PREPARE TO WADE THROUGH A THOUSAND WORDS OF ME SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE AS TO THE RIGHTNESS OF MY SPECULATIONS!!! Now, next thing you know, BRS really WILL become EXACTLY like Madoka, completely with derpy slice-of-life animation and awesome (?) fight scenes!!!! THE TIME HAS COME FOR O-NEW TO RECLAIM ITS PROPER POSITION AS A CERTIFIED good ANIME BLOG!!!!!!! Except I’m not certified since apparently, O-New isn’t aniblog enough to be invited to the aniblog tourney.

SCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMPPPPPPP

What was I right about, you might wonder? Ms. Smith (this is what I’m going to call Saya-chan-sensei from now on, since ‘Saya-chan-sensei’ is a hella retarded name) really is a good guy (girl). Black Rock Shooter is becoming even more like Madoka – Ms. Smith is now exactly like Kyuubey. He’s fighting for the right cause (saving the fucking UNIVERSE), but nobody understands him (“You can’t save the universe, you’re killing little girls!”). Ms. Smith is fighting for the right cause (saving fucking LITTLE GIRLS), but nobody understands her (“You can’t save little girls, you’re… uh… I don’t really know!”) The only difference is that Ms. Smith cries, making her much more human than Kyuubey, and thus much less of an antagonist. Really, she’s a protagonist now.

I think it’s time to advertise this post around the ‘sphere once more, because it’s time to CONTINUE speculations that will UNDOUBTEDLY be PERFECTLY and ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT correct!! OK, sure, I may have messed up once, but that’s, like, totally not my fault!! I really, really hate exclamation marks. So I’ll stop with that and proceed to CAPITALIST everything. Yes, capitalist is a noun. No, I am not a retard. If I were a retard I’d be watching anime on VHS tapes, not on lines several hundred metres long reaching towards the sky but not quite yet because, y’know, BLACK ROCK SHOOTER MAKES NO SENSE.

Remember how I talked about Mouretsu Pirates being awesome because it was consistent? Of course you don’t, you silly, nobody reads my posts. As a tl;dr version of what I said there: Mouretsu Pirates is awesome because it feels like everything makes sense. It feels like reality, so we don’t have to suspend our disbelief at all with Mouretsu Pirates – there’s nothing to not believe.

Remember how I talked about Madoka being awesome because it was coherent? Of course you do, you silly, I already linked to that post in the second paragraph. As a tl;dr version of what I said there: Madoka was awesome because it feels like everything was planned out. It feels like Urobuchi thought everything out fully before the first episode came out, like he planned the entire thing from start to finish before the first animator even started to take his pen out to draw the first keyframes out on paper. Sure, it may not feel real, so we still had to suspend our disbelief; however, it was executed so cleanly that there weren’t any gaping plot holes, no sudden twists. Going back through Madoka a year after its airing, you’ll find that from the beginning, everything seemed to be made to point towards that end.

What about Black Rock Shooter?

I say ‘seems to’ in the previous paragraphs because we’ll never know for sure. Maybe the director of Mouretsu Pirates simply mashed together an incoherent jumble of space pirate tropes that happened to become coherent? Maybe Urobuchi was writing a normal magical girl story and decided to kill Mami off at episode 3 just for the fun of it? However, a key point for both those shows is their flawless execution – even if they didn’t plan out the story, it sure seemed like they did.

Black Rock Shooter seems incoherent. It seems inconsistent, seems unplanned, and it doesn’t make sense.

Similarly, perhaps the director of Black Rock Shooter knew exactly what he was doing from day one? Black Gekikara has noticed something quite interesting – You has no shadow, and has never had a shadow. That certainly seems well-planned out, seeing as she didn’t ever have a shadow.

Even if the director did know what he was doing, his execution ruined it. Even if he did plan out the story, it sure seemed like he didn’t. There are these giant jumps of plot from one place to another (reminiscent of the GIANT WASP STORMS from No. 6, another noitaminA show), scrambling from Kagari’s mental illness to beheaded lolis to teenage angst to mysterious supernatural world transcendences. It’s too big, it’s trying to be the deepest, most epic show in the world – and failing!


When I said ‘heads will roll’, I didn’t mean it literally…

In essence: Black★Rock Shooter (TV) is truly a noitaminA show.

I would’ve talked about just what a noitaminA show is, but I think I’ll save the best for last – the final episode, that is. That’s right, Black Rock Shooter only has two episodes left, and I’m not going to keep you guys dragging for very much longer with this delayed post and this paragraph-long sentence that I’ll continue protracting for as long as I humanly can simply to annoy and anger you until you decide to close this page with a fervent striking of that ubiquitous ‘x’ button that lines the multitude of tabs you may or may not see above your current monitor or screen, depending on the type of browser and operating system that you use.

WHAT I AM SAYING IS: SPECULATIONS TIME!!!

It’s obvious that You is the protagonist of this story. I wager that You’ll reveal that it was all You’s imagination – not even Mato’s. If Black Rock Shooter were a light novel, it’d be easier to tell who the protagonist is – the narrator, obviously – but since Black Rock Shooter’s an anime, you really don’t know from whose perspective the story is told. Divine of Random Curiosity pointed out that You might just be the alter ego of STRength – ironically, Landon’s farfetched theory he used to bash Black Rock Shooter’s horrible mash of slice-of-life suddenly isn’t so farfetched anymore. I don’t know why I said ‘ironically’ there. Ironically can mean many things, y’know? DON’T JUDGE ME

You’s the person who caused all of this – she’s the Menma that transcends time and space and lighting effects. Then again, Menma wasn’t just an illusion, either – and AnoHana was also a noitaminA show…

Still, I firmly believe that You’s the one who caused all of this. Everything’s in her mind after the shock of burning down her house (which I really think she did). Her multiple personality disorder explains the whole concept behind Black Rock Shooter – shoving your pain at half-naked lolis while ignoring them yourself. Ms. Smith probably decided to become a counsellor just for You – but wait, we’ve already asserted that everything’s in You’s imagination, right? With the recent twists in Black Rock Shooter, this possibility is not impossible; who says that Mato’s got to be the protagonist?

In fact, I believe that Black Rock Shooter is actually the antagonist of this show. She’s the person who causes everybody the most pain – the person who cut off Chariot’s head, who erased Kohata’s memories of the love letter, who destroyed Shark’s friendship with Tomato. She’s the one who even causes Tomato that much pain. Now, the whole Black Rock Shooter song makes much more sense (than my translation, at least): Miku represents Tomato/Ms. Smith’s singing to Black Rock Shooter, wondering where her good side went.

The whole story of Black Rock Shooter is of self-sacrifice and chaos, with Black Rock Shooter initially agreeing to shoulder all of Tomato’s pain (woah, Ms. Smith, what foreshadowing!), but eventually just shoving all that pain back at her. And ripping her own arms off. By Madoka that Black Rock Shooter girl is a bitch with her ROBOTIC ARMS and PURPLE EYE and LUNATIC (yes, this is a Tiger & Bunny reference) DEMEANOUR. I’ll bet that as the final epic conclusion, Black Rock Shooter will decide to take pity on Tomato, take Tomato’s pain back, absorb all the world’s grief and sadness, and then explode. Sound familiar?

Don’t believe that Black Rock Shooter is evil? Well, riddle me this – if Black Rock Shooter wasn’t evil, why does everybody want to kill her?

Now I just sound retarded. Sorry guys, let’s wrap this up:

  • I WAS FUCKING RIGHT WHEN I SAID THAT MS. SMITH IS A GOOD CHARACTER;
  • Madoka and Mouretsu Pirates are awesome because they’re consistent; Black Rock Shooter isn’t consistent, yet could’ve been;
  • Black★Rock Shooter (TV) is a very NOITAMINA show because it is pretentious as HELLA;
  • [Speculations] Yuu is the ultimate protagonist of this show, and everything’s in her little solipsist mind;
  • [Speculations] Black Rock Shooter is the final antagonist/anti-hero, who tries to kill everybody but at the end will sacrifice herself to… uh, explode, I guess;
  • Black★Rock Shooter (TV) ultimately attempts to connect the Black Rock Shooter video to highschool melodrama. The story is not built up from the melodrama, it’s built up from the video – which is why everything seems so contrived. However, at least they’ve got a solid link to the music now, with Miku/Tomato singing to Black Rock Shooter to STOP FUCKING RIPPING OFF HER OWN FUCKING ARM.

tl;dr: What the well did I just write

P.S. Bamboo is actually TRYING to make Shark sad… loser.

P.P.S. [Insert obligatory SAYA no Uta reference here because it’s all in You’s head.]

P.P.P.S. At least the fights are nice. JUST LIKE MADOKA’S FIGHTS-

6 responses

  1. Pingback: O-NEC 4: Tree-olled « O-New

  2. Pingback: Mouretsu Pirates 10 « O-New

  3. This series is so damn angsty! :|

    Anyway please don’t compare that creepy counselor to me! :E

    2012/03/16 at 12:32

  4. Don’t worry, I feal your pain.

    2012/03/16 at 17:45

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