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Mouretsu Pirates 12

Friends, comrades, enemies whom I wish to embed inside a well off the coast of Finland:

Today, we have gathered here today, as opposed to yesterday, and certainly not tomorrow, to discuss a serious topic.

This topic is: the absurd lack of sunglasses in recent anime blogs’ posts of Mouretsu Pirates.

Look at emperorj’s Mouretsu Pirates 12 post. Once an embodiment of all that is horrible mspaint drawings, emperorj has spent his past week in trite idleness, not drawing a single horrible drawing along the way. Look at Fosshizzel’s Mouretsu Pirates 11 post. Not only is there a terrible absence of any drawings at all, but he has not even deigned to reply to my thoughtful response!! What an atrocity! I don’t even know how many s’s and z’s are in his name! Mushyrulez is simple. One s, one z. None of that silly Musssshyrulezz business.

At least Shinmaru still knows what’s going on. Now if he continues to make horrible drawings, my respect for him will do naught but increase. However, if he fails to…

Now that this issue has been properly addressed, I hope all you readers out there (*cricket cricket*) will depart from this post with more knowledge and wisdom than that which you came in with. That is to say, I hope that all you readers out there accidentally left your intelligence here before leaving. Don’t know what I’m talking about? I’ll BOWL you over and send you into a RUN!

*DISMISSED for bad cricket puns*

ha ha dismissed

The funny thing about the above statement is that 1) the ship’s still spinning 2) they’re not in zero-g 3) just because the spinning’s stopped doesn’t mean that the ship is in zero-g 4) just because the ship is IN zero-g doesn’t mean the ship IS zero-g 5) 99.9% of all spaceships have approximately zero or fewer giraffes.

Wow! Five errors in ten words! That’s an average of one error every two words! I’ll bet you guys can’t find a false statement with a higher error density. ‘This sentence is false.’ is probably not a false statement, although it does have a higher error density (something like an average of infinity errors every one word?).

Of course, there are explanations. ‘Sigh,’ the crickets might think, ‘Here he goes again with all that science that he doesn’t even understand that he was talking about last post.’ SORRY BUT CRICKETS CAN’T THINK they can only *cricket cricket*

The crew probably wear suctioned shoes, or something, that keeps them from floating all over the place. Why else would they not fly away when they’re in a supposedly zero-gravity ship? Another possibility is constantly firing rockets upwards to push themselves downwards. Yet, honestly, what’s the point? Why don’t they just fly around all over the place? Wouldn’t it be more convenient, and use less energy? Maybe them landlubbers just aren’t used to floating upside-down, even when they know that the enemy’s gate is down. They need more Battle Room practice…

I really wish these crew members would get at least some development, though. I mean, look at the space yacht club, everyone has different hairstyles and heights and statures and shit. Meanwhile, the Bentenmaru crew members are all exactly the same height, exactly the same weight, have exactly the same body shape, and they’re all male – even though we obviously saw female crew members there last episode, in the scene after Gruier awakes, everybody talking is male! Sexist much?? Really, there should be just one episode, “Daily Life of a Bentenmaru Crew Member”, that talks about… uh, the daily life of a Bentenmaru crew member.

Furthermore, although I understand that Schnitzer’s a cyborg, how would his sound waves travel without oxygen? Sure, there’s oxygen (24%? That’s higher up than Mt. Everest) inside the ship, but inside the airlock, all the oxygen has obviously been swept into the vacuum of space. So how does Schnitzer speak?

A radio transmitter’s probably built into his body to transmit sounds into everybody else’s helmets… but why isn’t anybody else talking except for the named crew? Oh right, different channels. I do like Marika’s futuristic eyepatches, though. They’re like eyecatches, except worse.

The ambient music really adds a lot to the atmosphere, though. Did you know: atmosphere is an anagram of amprsheet, and amprsheet kinda sounds like ambient.

The sudden, surprising Fractale reveal was sudden and surprising – however, Mouretsu Pirates pulled it off in true Mouretsu Pirates fashion, realistic to a fault. When we watch anime, we start expecting unrealistic things, like sudden gunfights and battles, or deus ex machina’d SUPER SAIYAN power-ups caused by the demise of a loved one, to the point where these appear to be normal. And when an anime defies these (arguably mushy) rules…

…It’s pretty cool.

After all, in this modern age, war’s hardly fought with weapons and battles. War’s fought over the telephone – when there is any war at all. What’s the point of a battle between the Bentenmaru and the Serenity fleet anyways? They have a common objective – the recovery of Queen Serendipity – and so it doesn’t logically make sense to fight over it. This also explains how the Bentenmaru found the location of Queen Serendipity in the span of a day, while the Serenity fleet presumably took hundreds of years – the Bentenmaru was only able to make the conclusion after the final piece of data had been recovered by Serenity, hundreds of years after Queen Serendipity’s disappearance. Connecting the data is easy, but acquiring it was hard.

Furthermore, it’s not like the princesses actually matter or anything. They’re royalty; and after representational government was implemented into, uh, everywhere, when has the royalty ever done anything? They’re figureheads, without any real power. Thus, it wouldn’t make sense for them to direct a full-scale battle between the Bentenmaru and the Serenity fleet; it would make far more sense if, y’know, they’re just little middle school girls who don’t understand what’s going on.

Altogether, although this episode seemed to defy normal anime convention, it was realistic; and hopefully, this tradition of realism will continue with Mouretsu Pirates even as you dose off to sleep. DID YOU KNOW: Crickets take many short naps rather than staying unconscious and defenceless for a dozen hours at a time

tl;dr: I don’t know what I was talking about, but I’m pretty sure it had something to do with sunglasses

P.S. YEAAAAAAAH THE COOL ED IS BACK. I like the part when they say ‘Black Holy’ because at first you think they’re going to say ‘Black Hole’ but then they say LEE. Which is quite simultaneously shocking, screaming, and shrieking at the same second. DID YOU SEE THAT ALLITERATION?! No you didn’t. DID YOU KNOW: Crickets don’t understand alliteration.

5 responses

  1. That baby is so ballin’

    2012/03/28 at 15:34

  2. aw yeah the entire ship is just ballin’

    2012/03/28 at 23:21

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