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Mouretsu Pirates 13

The final Mouretsu Pirates episode of this season AND IT’S LATE.

Please wait warmly, boys are now running outside in the mud even though it’s sunny and there actually isn’t any mud outside so I can’t make any farm plots to harvest plump helmets which is what I once did for five hours straight yesterday thus explaining the lack of a proper post

I really don’t know what to write in this post. All of my post-writing energy has been sucked out of me like a clarinet sucks the soul out of your livres. So, I suppose this is going to be a pretty disorganized wrap-up post, since the season is indeed over.

Firstly, I’d like to talk about how we still don’t have a season preview up. This is largely due to me never having the courage to write the preview, and thus sucking the encouragement out of az to write the preview as well. Get it? Courage, encourage? Yeah, that’s how lame I’ve become.

Secondly, I’d like to talk about Black Holy. Oh wait, I already did. Don’t see it in that post? That’s because I’ve quite cunningly placed the reference to Black Holy at the bottom of the post, FORCING you to read the entire thing. Or by using the ‘End’ key on your keyboard. DID YOU KNOW: 57% of people who read that Mouretsu Pirates 12 post read that Mouretsu Pirates 12 post because they searched ‘Black Holy’ on Google.

Thirdly, I’d like to talk about this delicious sunset. Mmm mmm mmm. I’m getting hungry. Catch y’all later, time for some munchin’!

Fourthly, I’d like to talk about the tasteful use of apostrophes. This’s a tasteful use of one’s apostrophes. Thi’s is not a tastefu’ us’ of ones’ apostrophe’s.

Fifthly, I’d like to talk about eating Japanese hot mustard. Don’t eat Japanese hot mustard.

Sixthly, I’d like to talk about the sequel to Black Holy. Don’t squish everybody’s faces in the sequel to Black Holy. What is the sequel to Black Holy, you ask? It is the ED that played this episode, and everybody’s faces were squished. Don’t squish everybody’s faces.

Seventhly, I’d like to talk about spellchecking. ‘Spellchecking’ is obviously not a word. ‘Anyways’ is less obviously not a word. ‘Seventhly’ is quite unobviously not a word. ‘Unobviously’ is somewhat obviously not a word.

Eighthly, I’d like to talk about Marika. Marika seems a lot more confident than she was fourteen episodes ago, which was Mouretsu Pirates Episode -1, talking about Marika’s birth and how she was a lot less confident than she is now. This may be caused by the fact that babies generally have less confidence than space pirate captains.

Ninthly, I’d like to talk about moé. Only French words deservé an é at the end of their words. Moé is in fact not the proper word to use when referring to a non-sexually cute femalée. The proper word is moée. Furthermore, the image above is not moée, parce que ce n’est pas une fille mignonne. Indeed, the image above is quite muscular, but not moée. It is the contents of the image that is indeed also not une fille mignonne, for the only objets mignons are in fact champignons.

Tenthly, I’d like to talk about speaking Japanese in space. People will never speak Japanese in space.

NEVER.

Eleventhly, I’d like to talk about cute pirate uniforms. The term itself is an oxymoron, for all cute objects are mushrooms (as explained in an earlier paragraph), and all pirate uniforms consist of dented teeth, diseased scurvy, dangerous rock short swords, decrepit artificial legs, dirty eyepatches, depraved scowls, Danish acne, disturbing lack of bodywear, detestable breath, deadly malnourishment, and overall disgustingness.

Twelfthly, I’d like to talk about the Legend of the Galactic Heroes. It is ten hundred times better than Mouretsu Pirates.

Thirteenthly, I’d like to talk about the Legend of Koizumi(‘s Heroes). It is ten tens times better than Mouretsu Pirates.

Fourteenthly, I’d like to talk about the Legend of the Legendary Heroes. it is ten times better than Mouretsu Pirates.

Fifteenthly, I’d like to talk about you. You are one tenth as good as Mouretsu Pirates.

Sixteenthly, I’d like to talk about Ririka. Ririka used to be a BADASS BADASS who killed people with her BADASSNESS and didn’t care about nothing. Eventually, the Patriarchy forced her into misogynistic submission by making her unable to do anything but cook.

Seventeenthly, I’d like to talk about the next arc. Apparently, it’s going to be an ~anime-original story~. This does not spell a good omen. I do have suspicions that the next arc will wholly focus on Serenity, as well as Ririka’s un-retirement (un-tirement?) from pirating, instead of talking about HUGE INTERGALACTIC WARFARE. This may be why the Legend of the Galactic Heroes is ten hundred times better than Mouretsu Pirates will ever be. This may also be why Mouretsu Pirates isn’t called ‘the Legend of the Pirate Heroes’.

Eighteenthly, I’d like to talk about how they never really said what happened on the Blue Planet, but merely alluded to their collusion. This is known as ~good direction~. Bad directors cannot execute this with the infallible precision of Satou Tatsuo.

Nineteenthly, I’d like to talk about Satou Tatsuo. I didn’t even know he was the director until I found out by searching for whom the director of Mouretsu Pirates was, and that was just approximately half a minute ago when I was in the middle of writing the previous paragraph!

Twentiethly, I’d like to talk about ‘whom’. I really don’t know how to use ‘whom’. Who knows how to use ‘whom’? Whom I may be referring to, I may never know.

Twentyfirstly, I’d like to talk about this giant list which seems to be getting out of hand. Fuck you.

P.S. If you are REDCAR then please IGNORE THAT PREVIOUS COMMENT!!! You are a cool guy. Nevertheless, I hope that you will not read this sentence, for if you did, that means you must have clicked on this link, and most intelligent souls would not do such a foolish activity.

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