O-REW 11: trzr23

This is a terrible idea.

Not for me, for I’ll get at least several hundred visitors each day from trzr23’s blog, the subject of this post.

No, for him, because nobody will read this post. Except for maybe himself. Here, this post was looking pretty lonely, so it’s time to add some actual content. And pictures!! I never add pictures in an O-REW. Consider this a special post especially for trzr23! Oh wait, that’s the subject of this post…

First off. Let’s analyze the astounding lack of orange in trzr’s site design. What reputable site wouldn’t have orange in its design?! Even O-New has orange, even though we don’t have design! If a site that doesn’t even HAVE design in the first place has orange in their design, how can a site that DOES HAVE design, like trzr’s blog, not have orange? It doesn’t make sense. However, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Let’s look at the bottom of his blog, because, as everybody knows, the bottom is always the most important part. Look at what it says!

“Copyright 2010 trzr23 Designed by CamelGraph | Bloggerized by Lasantha – Premiumbloggertemplates.com Top Web Host | Web Design by Ciplex | accountant website design”

What do those even mean?! The Copyright part is obvious – this means that we can freely rip off all of trzr’s content after 2010 – and the link saying ‘CamelGraph’ does indeed lead to a website called, ‘CamelGraph’. This is all well and well, but what about ‘Bloggerized by Lasantha’? Last time I checked the dictionary, ‘Bloggerized’ wasn’t a word. Neither was CamelGraph, for that matter. Nor was Mushyrulez and trzr23. I guess the dictionary’s outdated or something. I think I’m running out of steam because the only things I can still point out are that 1) anime blogs are in fact not actually accountant websites and 2) a true O-New Design is MINIMALIST, and contains NEAR-NOTHING at the bottom. Look at O-New’s design, an exemplary example of a good O-New Design. What’s at the bottom? ‘Theme: Rubric. Blog at WordPress.com.’ That’s all. That’s it. I don’t use ten themes, designed by CamelGraph, Bloggerized by Lasantha and premiumbloggertemplates.com, copyrighted by trzr23, hosted by ‘Top Web Host’, designed (twice?) by Ciplex, and accountantized by accountant website design. What am I even writing? I don’t know. As I said, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

Now this is the bottom of the iceberg.

Just looking at this image can you find out four main flaws with trzr’s blog. 1) It’s not 2010 anymore. Of course, if he hasn’t made any posts for two years, this is acceptable; however, recent statistics indicate that there is more than an 80% possibility that he has made a post within the last two years. Furthermore, not only is the poll about two-year-old series, the poll is also CLOSED. As you know, we here at O-New hate polls with a burning passion. In fact, we’ve never ever put a poll up on the site. There are few things worse than a blog poll, but among them is a CLOSED blog poll. The point of polls is for people to vote! What’s the point of not letting people vote? That’s like making a game you CAN’T INTERACT with, or baking a cake that’s INEDIBLE, or buying a plane when you CAN’T FLY. Absolutely pointless.

Nevertheless, there are greater atrocities to be found. In fact, we’ve already arrived under the bottom of the iceberg. We’re so deep down under the sea of depravity, so far removed from the land of decency that yes, we are indeed in the kelp forests of horrible blogs. trzr23 may not be a horrible blog, but it does indeed link to one: Danny Choo.

I’m not even going to explain or defend why Danny Choo is a horrible blog. Frankly, I don’t know.

Yet, my upbringing has conditioned me to have only one response when this horrible name ever reaches my eyes, ears, nose, or feet:

run.

Run, and quickly.

And so here I am, running while typing while holding a desk with one of my feet and running with the other. Of course, my computer’s on my desk and I’m using one hand to eat a sandwich while the other is typing this. Why a sandwich? The tigers behind me ate my roast beef. Needless to say this is quite the undesired situation to be in, and yes, my situation is yet exacerbated by the presence of the feared name, Danny Choo. For the record, I am not currently actually in a kelp forest. It is an allegory.

Now look at that. Who would make a feed button that big? Trzr23, that’s who. I don’t even know if I should capitalize the ‘t’ in his name when I put it first in a sentence. Look at Mushyrulez. It’s simple to remember. Mus, Hyrule, z. It’s simple to pronounce. ‘Mus[t]’, ‘Hyrule’, ‘Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdddd’. Now look at trzr23. How do you remember that? ‘t’, ‘s’, ‘r’, ‘l’, ‘2’, ‘9’. I probably even got that screwed up. How do you pronounce that? ‘Tur’, ‘Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhdddd’, ‘ruhtoo’, ‘nein‘. Look at that! German. I’m not racist or anything, but I really hate Germans, except when I’m not racist.

Anyways, I mean, just look at O-New. No outstanding pretentious reddish-yellow (which is NOT orange, by the way) button for people to obnoxiously click on. I don’t even know how people would obnoxiously click on something. I mean, come on, right next to his Blogroll, there’s another link that says ‘Subscribe’. Redundant much? All we have is a simple ‘Sub-Zero Scription, E-Mail Updates’ text and button. Granted, I’m literally burning up right now since it’s so hot outside but whatever, at least I had a pun!! Trzr23 almost never makes puns.

Besides, I mean, when did AnoHana come out? LAST YEAR. When was Hanasaku Iroha? LAST YEAR. When was Madoka? Last year AND THREE MONTHS ago. Yet, that’s still after 2010, so I guess I can still rip off his posts. Look at that Twitter panel above that. What does it say? NOTHING. Why does it say nothing? Because he PROTECTED HIS TWITTER ACCOUNT. You know how the only thing worse than a poll is a closed poll? The only thing worse than a Twitter panel is a BLANK Twitter panel that says nothing because you PROTECTED YOUR ACCOUNT. Who even protects their accounts?! Oh, right, trzr23… he’s really hit the ocean bank this time around. And now the quality of his blog design is gradually tumbling down, down, down… not that there’s much left to go since he’s already stranded on the continental shelf along with other such horrible designs such as Grissom by design. Man, that was sincerely a horrible website.

You know why O-New’s front page is just a simple list of posts? Because it’s simple. Also because we don’t have to crop out any stupid excerpt images. Why don’t we want to crop out any stupid excerpt images?

Because the above might happen.

Fat Ero indeed!! However, Saber actually seems more MALNOURISHED than FAT, as much as the title of the anime would lead us to believe.

Fat Ero takes place 10 years prior to the events of Fat Bro, detailing the events of the 4th Holy Cow War in New York City. The War of the Holy Cow is a contest in which seven obese men summon seven Heavy (that is to say, fat) Souls to compete to obtain the power of the “Holy Cow,” which grants an unlimited supply of McDonalds’ hamburger patties. After three inconclusive wars for the elusive Holy Cow, the Fourth War commences. – MAL.

Sounds like a horrible show. Who in their right mind would blog this piece of FAT? Oh, right, trzr23… he’s really hit the ocean bank this time around. I’ll bet nobody wants to find out what the TRazor think about all. Maybe some people would like to find out what the TRazor THINKS about all, but nobody wants to know what the TRazor THINK. Maybe he doesn’t even think?! Maybe he just SINKS, that’s what he does, sinks and now BAM! We’re in the mesopelagic (that is to say, the twilight zone – the zone of objects as terrible as Meyer’s Twilight) zone of terrible horribleness. It’s not even terribad; we’re in a whole ‘nother league of ‘bad’. And this ain’t ‘bad’-assery. This is just plain horrible.

“Now, now,” trzr23 might feebly whimper, “Mushy, you’re starting to sound a lot like Baka-Raptor, except not as cool, because you are not a dinosaur.” Well, GUESS WHAT?! Maybe it’s Baka-Raptor that’s writing this post!! Go shout at him, not me! You can’t even prove I wrote this post! In fact, how do you know anybody wrote this post? How do you know that this is a post? Maybe this post doesn’t exist?! Maybe your MOM doesn’t exist!!! This is an existential ontological question and NOBODY SHALL EVER KNOW. You’re certainly in the dark about this, I’m certainly in the dark about this, and trzr23 is TRIPLY certainly in the dark about this because now, he’s sunk down into the bathypelagic zone, where no light hits. At least his blog design doesn’t have one of those repugnant black backgrounds, otherwise, his design’d be simply abyssopelagic. I’m looking at you, Baka-Raptor… B(

“Now, now,” trzr23 might limply feeble, “Mushy, you’ve never spoken about my blog’s actual content, ever, because you are bad at reviewing sites. Also, feeble is not a verb.” Well, GUESS WHAT?! It’s time to SPEAK ABOUT TRZR23’S ACTUAL CONTENT. What do I say? THERE IS NONE! Look, all of his posts are advertisements for free iPad 2s. Why would you advertise a free product?! Why would you give out free iPad 2s in the first place?! He probably doesn’t even HAVE an iPad 2, let alone dozens of free ones to give out!!

This is truly rock bottom.

He’s hit the bottom of the mid-ocean trenches.

trzr23 is officially ~hadopelagic~.

…

…

Then again, trzr23 does have ONE good point, in that he’s put O-NEW (in ALL CAPITALS, to boot!!) onto his blogroll. That one point is like, a giant balloon filled with air that pulls us all straight up from the benthic zone and right up, head-first, into that first iceberg of perversity that we narrowly missed descending down into the seas of depravity in the first place. Except all of that is allegorical, and in reality, I’m still being chased by tigers. At least I finished my sandwich.

So I guess trzr23 is a good blog, after all. How did I reach that conclusion? You’ll know as soon as you figure out who wrote this post…

P.S. One point I forgot to mention: Blogger. Who uses Blogger, anyways?! It’s the worst blogging website ever! Oh, right, trzr23…’

P.P.S. Do you like ocean geography? Well, so does xkcd…

P.P.P.S. God dammit, he removed most of the offending designs. Whatever, my business here is done…