Aniblog Tourney II: the Tournament of Anime Blogs
[Post-Post Edit: I suppose Operation Beat Otou-San has officially failed! We don’t even have a chance at winning anymore. Oh well, vote for us anyways, you know you want to. We’re not otou-sans. I think that’s reason enough to vote for us! (ok, so maybe it isn’t, whatever)]
Hello, friends, strangers, enemies, comrades. Primarily strangers.
Welcome to O-New. The home of Aniblog Betting (which you should definitely join if you haven’t already).
You are no doubt here for the Second Aniblog Tourney, and as to not delay your time, this post shall be as swift as the lightning following a cat. For the record, a) lightning does not follow cats b) lightning that does follow cats would necessarily be slower than the cat c) cats are slow. Sorry about that. Or, as they say on Saturn, ‘Sorry about cat!’
O-New has three main defining points that make O-New O-New.
Point 1: Its horrible design. Originally, I wanted o-new.wordpress.com, but somebody took the username, so I had to take onewdesign.wordpress.com. Unfortunately, O-New (which is now officially a synonym for ‘horrible’) has horrible design. It has O-New design. Check the Wayback Machine to see what it looked like before I upgraded to this temporarily better theme. Yes, I didn’t change into a better design for more than two years.
Point 2: Its daily posts. We post once a day. Every day. And we (primarily me, Mushyrulez) have done that for the past two years. Except not really, since we have a few holes in our archives; recently, we haven’t had a post on the 8th of April, and before that, one all the way back on September the 5th. We (read: I; in fact, this entire post is solely written by me) do keep a list of all the dates we haven’t posted on, though, and when we have the time to write an extra post (or three), we do, in a process known as Rewriting History. Yes, we do it a lot. It’s hard, hammering out a post every day, and so, we Rewrite History instead.
Point 3: Its writers. We’re really unique people. Even after reading a few posts you’ll probably easily recognize who’s writing what. Unfortunately, we’re really quite unknown in the community; only a couple active readers read O-New. Which is why we’re participating in the Tourney. Even if we can’t win, we hope that at least one more person will realize that O-New is a COOL place with COOL writers and COOL posts, and maybe just sit down and subscribe to us. Unfortunately (part two), we’re also quite annoying at times with our limitless exuberance and shift-happy pinky fingers.
What do we post about? A variety of things. We have O-REWs (O-New’s Review of Entertaining Websites), posts that talk about how, you know, other anime blogs suck. We have O-NEGs (O-New’s Next Entertaining Game), posts that talk about, you know, video games. We also have V-NEWs, O-NEBs, O-NAGs, and O-ASGs, but all of those posts suck and I’m not even going to link to them. Notice how each initialism is only one letter off (ok, maybe not O-NAG) from ‘O-NEW’. Also notice the hyphen; Onew is an evil Korean singer who steals away all of my traffic, O-New is an awesome blog maintained by yours truly.
‘Wait a minute!’ you might not ask, as nobody asks me these things, ‘Where are the anime posts? Where are the manga posts? This is an Aniblog Tourney, not a Blog Tourney!’ Well, calm your clams because a) all aniblogs are anime blogs b) all anime blogs are blogs c) you’re not asking me this. Sure, even that Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 10 post was actually about Dwarf Fortress, but that’s only because that post was not actually about what the title said it was about. We write animanga posts. A lot of animanga posts. So many animanga posts that in fact, we proved Sturgeon’s Law incorrect when dealing with blogs because 98% of our animanga posts are crap. So, have a table of the 12 best animanga posts on this blog. Of course, it’s all subjective (read: biased), and it’s not a coincidence that most of them are written by me. Which isn’t so much because I’m biased towards myself than because I wrote 98% of the animanga posts in this blog. AbsoluteZero255, a recently recruited new blogger, has started to pick up some shows this season, so hopefully that percentage will decrease over time.
Unfortunately, as I said, 98% of all of our animanga posts suck. It was actually pretty hard to come up with this table, as I couldn’t find three manga posts which didn’t suck too bad, but I guess I was moderately successful. We have other, better posts, such as my transcriptions (note: transcriptions should be singular), compositions, and various performances of musics (note: musics should also be singular). Not saying that those posts are good per se; just that most of my animanga posts suck, and really, any other posts are better.
Is this post too serious for you? Do you just want a good (highly debatable) laugh? Wel[WARNING: THESE POSTS ARE NOT FUNNY]l, you’ve come to the right place because O-New has the worst sense of humour anywhere in the web. We have stupideas, a portmanteau between ‘stupid’ and ‘ideas’ that talks about, well, stupid anime ideas; we have houraiguy’s posts (which actually take /time/ to write, and thus are the most humorous and thoughtful posts on O-New) and Flare’s posts (which actually are /creepy/ to read, and thus are the most weird and thoughtful posts on O-New); we have a post on pedo bear that fully accounts for FIFTY PERCENT of our TOTAL TRAFFIC, even though the post is almost two years old, written by a prepubescent child, and all its images are copied without permission from other people; and finally, we have really really bad rap (which are really really bad), really really bad lyrics (which are also really really bad), and really really bad drawings (which are too really really bad).
And that’s it, except not really, since I’m sure there are some unique posts out there I don’t remember posting about! We’re a pretty eclectic, relaxed, and friendly blog. Want to know more before you give us (or those shameful fellows) a vote? Just leave a comment below! Don’t worry, we won’t bite…
P.S. Why would anyone bite if you give them a vote? Maybe we’ll bite if you don’t give us a vote. Or if you vote for the enemy. D:<