O-New: Now Extinct Website

Mouretsu Pirates 15

Well, guys, it’s time for one last rally up at the Aniblog Tourney. Shameful Otaku Secret is GOING DOWN~!!

How? THE BEST FUCKING SLAM POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE TOURNEY. And last tourney. And last last tourney, but that didn’t even happen.

Mouretsu Pirates is a horrible show. Everybody knows this. I just talked about it fourteen weeks ago. And thirteen weeks ago. And last week. And every week between and around those three weeks, as well as every week in the future and in the past.

Similarly, Shameful Otaku Secret is a horrible blog. Everybody knows this. I just talked about it fourteen days ago. And thirteen days ago. Except not really either of those. We did talk about it yesterday, though.

Firstly, there’s not enough personality in Mouretsu Pirates. Sure, Marika is pretty developed as a main protagonist, and there’s a cool dynamic around the group, but I mean, come on, the girls in the yacht club are nearly all unnamed! And those crew members, nobody cares about their crew members! That’s like, human abuse or something.

Firstly, there’s not enough personality in Shameful Otaku Secret. Sure, otou-san is pretty developed as a main protagonist, and there’s a lame dynamic around the group, but I mean, come on, I don’t even know any of the other bloggers! This isn’t just because I haven’t read any of their posts from before March, but also because nobody cares about them! So, uh, yeah! Take that!

Look at this scene. It’s quite clever; the sky is fake. They’re actually floating up in space. In a quarantined section of a giant hospital ship. Except they’re not really quarantined because they can go out and get computers at will, or something. This just shows how FAKE Mouretsu Pirates is, except not really, because you’d expect a rehabilitation ship floating in space to show a fake sky and not the EMPTINESS OF BLACK SPACE.

So look at this blog. It’s quite clever; the posts are fake. They’re actually not posts. Except they’re not really not posts because they are posts, or something. This just shows how FAKE Shameful Otaku Secret is, except not really, because wow is anybody getting tired of me writing this shit yet?? Even I am. Seriously. I need to take a break from bashing. I’ll be back in a week. Until then, have actual anime blogging.

There’s a lot of dramatic irony in this episode, just like there’s a lot of irony in Shameful Otaku Secret. For one, they’re ashamed of being otaku, yet they still have a secret!!! The two are mutually exclusive! Tell me someone else who’s, say, ashamed of being the President of an influential East Asian mining company based in several locations in at least two continents around the world, yet who still has a secret. Can you? Damn right.

Finally, it’s obvious that Marika is a loser. Look, she acts like a captain, but she can’t do shit. All she can do is like, give out orders, and tell little girls to do stuff, and start hyperdrive engines that should be fully automatic anyways. That’s like having a person who can’t drive an AUTOMATIC CAR. Who can’t drive an automatic car?! It’s automatic!!

Finally, it’s also obvious that otou-san is a loser. Look, he acts like a captain, but he can’t do shit. All he can do is like, write posts, and write posts, and write posts that should be written anyways. That’s like having a person who can’t write a post. Oh wait, he does write posts. Wait, what was I saying? How was this related to Marika? Oh right. Marika can’t do SHIT without adults watching her every move. It’s as I said; she’s not independent at all! She’s a high schooler, and all high schoolers are a) losers b) idiots.

Yet, even so, Marika always has things go her way. Otou-san also always has things go his way. Beating O-New, the ~unbeatable~ blog. Bosh.

tl;dr: These winers.pro WHINERS think they’re so intelligent, don’t they, saying that my ~beautiful poetry~ sucks?!! Well, guess what! IT DOES SUCK. But THEY WERE LYING to me anyways. They say they’re professional winers but what do they turn out to be? WHINERS, that’s what.

P.S. Congratulations, you just saw REWRITE HISTORY in action!!

11 responses

  1. Although I enjoyed the episode, I kind of notice that Marika is too… perfect. Even if the girls manage to mess up, somehow she turns it around.

    Also, nice retort against Winers pro… They are trying to stir some drama and probably tried to write some crap about me, but do I care what they say? No, because they are a bunch of whiners, that is all.

    2012/04/18 at 15:34

  2. Dude otou-san is not that bad you should be unbiased and not biased.

    We should lose HONOURABLY, man. We do.

    2012/04/18 at 15:36

  3. also

    every post you post

    I’m going to comment about how the banner is the worst banner ever

    until you change it


    2012/04/18 at 15:37

  4. Yeah; it would’ve been better character development if she started out making tons of mistakes, but right from the get-girl she’s an archetypal Mary Sue. In fact, I’d even call her a Marika Sue! Yet, I do love how the crew secretly guides her in making her decisions, instead of it seeming like she made every one of her decisions herself.

    P.S. O-New is going to be like whiners.pro in four years if we continue losing in the Aniblog Tourney in a desperate bid to get attention. What I’m saying is, if you want attention, whine.

    P.P.S. No but seriously, my previous posts in the tourney did start to feel a lot like their posts… D:

    2012/04/18 at 23:42

  5. no D:<

    2012/04/18 at 23:42

  6. Moe pirates doing moe things! EVERYDAY! That is Mouretsu Pirates in a nutshell, sadly I wanted more from my moe pirate show like I dunno A REAL BATTLE?! Instead we get electronic warfare which is fun but it lacks something! I don’t think we will get anything more from this series unless they do a time jump or something.

    Lolol best caps ever and Coorie’s face! Amazing.

    2012/04/20 at 03:26

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  8. D: but I hate the Moe! I can’t drink anyways so I only look at Moe with envy, jealousy, fear, and hate

    2012/04/28 at 04:53

  9. Swiftly removed.

    2012/04/28 at 04:54

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