The Aniblog Tourney, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Admit That O-New Sucks

Well.

As we enter into the month of May, it’s now been two weeks since our round against Shameful Otaku Secret, and Round 2 has officially started! I put an exclamation mark there, but it’s not an exclamation mark of excitement; it’s an exclamation mark of HATRED. And DISGUST. And O-NEW.

So, in fact, the word is ‘unwell’, not ‘well’.

Unwell.

Nevertheless, let it be known that this loss was JUST AS PLANNED. After all, we can’t have O-New winning 90 – 10 in the first tournament we’re in, right? It’d be shameful, suspicious, and strange. So, we’ve decided to stay low this second tournament and wait two more years, by which time O-New will be unrestrained from our shackles and will undoubtedly win. Everything. Of course, as I said, we could’ve won everything this time too, but we decided against it as to give other blogs a better chance.

To force people to not vote for O-New, we installed the Betty White banner to dissuade potential voters and delayed the publication of our CRITICAL WEAPONS, a SUPER COOL BASHING POST and this really lame ripoff of their exquisite corpse. If we had published those earlier and withheld the Betty White banner, there’s no doubt that we would win.

Anyways, ANIBLOG BETTING is still happenin’, but y’know, it was Destin’d to fail from the start. You see that pun? Yeah.

The rest of this post will consist of shameful links to shameful posts, including this shameful Uchuu Kyoudai 4 post, this other shameful post, this shameful piano transcription, and this final shameful post. Two of those four links were a) shameful b) not posts. Guess which two they were.

¡uʍop-əpısdn ʇxəʇ ʎɯ dılɟ plnoʍ ʇɐɥʇ əʇıs ɐ puıɟ oʇ ƃuıʎɹʇ sɹnoɥ 12 ɹoɟ pəɥɔɹɐəs ı ¡lnɟǝɯɐɥs ǝɹɐ ɯǝɥʇ ɟo llɐ `ʎlǝʇɐunʇɹoɟun ˙ʇou sɐʍ ʞuıl ɥʇɹnoɟ ǝɥʇ puɐ `ʇsod ɐ sɐʍ ʞuıl pɹıɥʇ ǝɥʇ `ʇou sɐʍ ʞuıl puoɔǝs ǝɥʇ `ʇsod ɐ sɐʍ ʞuıl ʇsɹıɟ ǝɥʇ :ɹǝʍsuɐ

So, what have I learned?

1) The aniblogosphere is a vapid circlejerk that operates on fake love. We can talk about how cool our articles are and all that shit but at the end, really, sometimes (read: most of the time) are articles ARE shit, and when they aren’t, they’re still about Japanese cartoons. Really, why are we even doing this?

2) I don’t know why I’m writing here but I still am, so I’ll continue to.

3) If I didn’t write in this blog, I’d be fucking bored to death. OK, I guess that answers 2).

Now, in conclusion, let’s see if O-New got more traffic after the Aniblog Tourney…

…I guess not. In fact, views have actually gone /down/. OH WELL

P.S. O-New better get the audience choice award. If we don’t, well, then you’ll know that that was part of our plan too. :K
P.P.S. Yes, that’s my :< face with a moustache. :K
P.P.P.S. At least we got 10% more subscribers than EVER BEFORE!! :K
P.P.P.P.S. Maybe we lost because I spammed too much on Twitter. In fact, I spammed so many Aniblog Tourney tweets that 23 people unfollowed me, and I had to spam about viagra, male body part augmentations, free WoW gold, dieting, and getting ripped until 23 spambots followed me. If you scroll back long enough in my Twitter feed you’ll still see those tweets.
P.P.P.P.P.S. This post actually ends now.