O-New: Now Extinct Website

O-REW 12: Eye Sedso

Glo should go low.

Why?

Because Eye Sedso

…is the worst ISSS on the planet.

Alternative more link: International Spatial Space Spacer»

It doesn’t really help that there are only two ISSSs on the planet, and that my previous statement also implies that Eye Sedso is the second best ISSS on the planet. It’s interesting how we say ‘on the planet’ but then ‘in the world’, isn’t it? No, it isn’t, but that’s the kind of SHIT Eye Sedso doesn’t talk about.

Instead, Eye Sedso talks about UNDERAGE CARTOON GIRL SWIMSUITS and RETARDED TEACHERS.

Seriously? Seriously?? I’m not even going to talk about how much his content sucks because I don’t even read his blog! No, seriously, I don’t! That’s how much it sucks. I mean, I read flare’s blog, which he also admits sucks, which means Eye Sedso sucks EVEN MORE THAN NO-KYWLN DOES. Wow. That’s a lot of suckage there.

You’d expect some half-assed witty pun right about now about how Glo sucks…. popsicles, or about how he sucks… dicks, but nope, my spellchecker says popsicles isn’t even a word and so now you’ll have to excuse me while I cry for hours and hours and hours

You know, I don’t feel like being like Whiners.pro and ripping him out for one bad poetry post. To be honest that didn’t even make sense; I’m sure pulling any random anime/manga review off O-New gives ample grounds for humiliation and mockery. Why use my (horrible) poetry as a (horrible) example? If you’re going to criticize anime/manga ISSSs, criticize their (horrible) anime/manga posts!

Which is what I’m going to do. Look at this image. Just look at it. Something’s wrong with it. No, many things are wrong with it. What’s wrong with it?

  1. There’s yellow font. Only losers type in yellow. Real men type in orange. On an orange background. This forces everybody to highlight the text and succumb to the real man’s will, or possibly the real man’s Will, that is to say, the real man is possibly William.
  2. All caps. ONLY LOSERS TYPE IN ALL CAPS. What do you mean ‘You typed the entire Nazo no Kanojo X/Ozuma sections in all caps in your season preview‘? I only typed half of both sections in all caps :x
  3. Links. Who puts links in grey. GREY PEOPLE, THAT’S WHO. They’re like… white people… but they’re also black… and… uh… yeah. That rhymed.
  4. THE YOUTUBE VIDEO IS DOWN
  5. the previous item
  6. is so immensely retarded that it
  7. counts for five
  8. separate items
  9. The guy doesn’t like Sakamichi no Apollon. Now, I’m not the type of person to insult somebody else for not having good taste but YOU SIR HAVE HORRIBLE TASTE. I haven’t even WATCHED Sakamichi no Apollon and I know it’s going to be good. I mean, an anime about the Apollo 13 rocket landing on a hill while a drummin’ Waldo is found by some jazz musician? SIGN ME UP, BABY

Then again, if Dark_Sage were to read any of my newer anime/manga posts, all they would read is ‘oh man we totally forgot to post yesterday so here’s a link to the post that we didn’t post on yesterday even though we posted it for yesterday’. The ironic part is this post is also rewritten and Dark_Sage could probably bash me for seeming to think that people actually care about my blog’s posting schedules. Anyways, even though it says I wrote this on Sunday I actually wrote this on Monday, if I were living in London. Too bad I’m not living in London and so I’ve actually still written this on Sunday ヽ(´▽`*)┌

Yes, I know, this post is starting to seem more like a post about O-New than a post about Eye Sedso. Well, there’s a good reason why. Usually, I don’t write many posts about O-New, as I’m an extremely humble and professional fellow who NEVER SHOUTS IN ALL CAPS and Haves Grammers Perfects Always Does .Nevertheless, sometimes, y’know, things happen, and I’ll have to whip out the big guns.

That’s right. O-New’s participating in another tournament. The Third AniISSS Tournament.

And it’s the final match. Why? Because, as previously mentioned, there are only two ISSSs on the planet. And O-New is one of them. You know who you’re voting for. I even totally wrote a post about O-New’s best posts just for this tournament and not that lame Aniblog Tourney that I’m totally butthurt about. I cry about my loss every day for hours on end. In fact, the hours don’t even end. Neither do the tears.

Anyways, there’s no other way I can possibly promote O-New more after that. So, the only logical response is to… demote Eye Sedso.

Look at his design, for one.

O-New’s design is actually LEGITIMATE now, due to certain anonymous individuals not including myself. Our design is finally fixed-width, just like Eye Sedso’s design. What’t the difference? Our fixed-width is actually CENTRED, and not SMUSHED to the left for some inexplicable reason. My spellcheck says ‘smushed’ isn’t a word, but ‘centred’ is. I could’ve sworn it was ‘centered’, though…

Other aspects of his design fail equally. [Insert magical MotsuCQ transforming sequence here.] The widgets on the side stretch on too long for short posts and too short for long posts; though the latter problem can’t be fixed, at least condense the archives bar into a dropdown menu, delete the completely useless ‘meta’ widget (seriously, I honestly have absolutely no idea what that does), bookmark this page, and delete the calendar widget, too. Unless you really like that. Whoops, I’m writing this section like I’m talking straight to Glo instead of to you guys, my actual readers. Glo never reads O-New, even though he has O-New! (with an! extra! exclamation! mark!) in his blogroll! He gets bonus points for that. BUT! His blogroll isn’t even annotated! The only person I know who doesn’t have an annotated blogroll is-oh, right, fuck, everybody.

At least put it on a separate page. [/MotsuCQ]

Instead of an annotated blogroll, guess what he puts on a separate page?

Rie Kugimiya.

Yeah, you read that. And if you’ve been a follower of O-New since last week, then you already know my position towards Rie Kugimiya.

Besides, how does one claim that one’s a fan when one’s only completed 3 and is only watching 3 out of the 4747483 shows Rie Kugimiya presumably acted in? Something’s fishy here. How can anybody act in so many titles? How come everything is either a 4 or a 7? I SMELL A CONSPIRACY. Or a fish. Probably a fish. You can’t smell conspiracies.

Also his header sucks.

Yeah that’s it. Vote for me, don’t vote for him, and he uses pictures of people wearing clouds so I guess he isn’t really all that bad…

But I’ve got cool piano videos and he doesn’t!

P.S. I did worse than last time B(

9 responses

  1. This contest is a circlejerk between stupid ISSS’es. I am not voting in such a silly contest!

    Oh, and since ONEW is no longer a blog, I guess, I should remove it from my BLOGroll…..I should probably do that for I said so as well.

    p.s. I keep meta because I am too lazy to go to blogname/wp-admin to log in. I just like to click that convenient login button!
    p.s.s. Meta also has RSS links….
    p.s.s.s. RSS links also has RSS links, but so does Meta.

    2012/05/21 at 16:58

  2. I’ve got to remove it from mine too thanks for reminding me.

    That’s the EXACT reason why I keep meta. It makes logging in wayyy easier (since I don’t really know how to log in any other way…..wordpress sucks).

    Yellow links kick ass.

    2012/05/21 at 18:21

  3. I’ve decided I’m never closing the poll.

    2012/05/23 at 02:25

  4. Good idea.

    2012/05/23 at 04:06

  5. The youtube video was down….That really is pretty persuasive.

    2012/05/23 at 05:36

  6. I’M REALLY GOOD AT THIS YOUTUBING THING

    2012/05/23 at 06:19

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  9. Guys, just bookmark this link (unless you’re Reiseng, in which case you ought to bookmark this link)! It goes directly to your WordPress Dashboard!

    (I’ve been doing it that way for so long that I honestly didn’t know what the meta widget was for until MotsuCQ started mentioning it! The other way I log in is direct through wordpress.com, click ‘My Blogs’, and then ‘Dashboard’. But just bookmarking your Dashboard is faster anyways. Also, there’s direct access to your Site Stats, Recent Comments, Comments I Made, Posts, Polls, Porn, Peanuts, and Portfolios straight from your Dashboard,

    2012/05/30 at 02:32