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Mouretsu Pirates 23

You’ve seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. Actually, hopefully you haven’t, because this post was actually published on June 14th, 2012 and totally not June 20th because why would I publish a post that’s already been published?? It doesn’t make any logical sense! :o

Anyways, hopefully, you haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. This is because I did not write manga posts the past few weeks, and if you saw me, it would be writing an anime post. And that’s creepy regardless if you’re a O-New subscriber or not, for if you are, this blog is creepy, and if you aren’t, you ought to go drown yourself in a well off the coast of Finland. Bloggers. (psssssst click the link to understand this ~inside joke~ that’s not even a joke)

Regardless of whether you have or haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days, there is no doubt that Master Chef is undoubtedly and indubitably radical squint

Have any of you dear readers ever watched Macbeth or Iron Sky?

Hahaha, that was a rhetorical question. Of course none of you have ever watched Macbeth or Iron Sky. You’re all figments of my imagination. Nobody reads O-New, except possibly my subscribers if you have seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days because nobody saw me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days except my subscribers.

Nevertheless, I have watched Macbeth and Iron Sky, and can describe to you the feeling. It’s a feeling of stifling pressure, of uncomfortable suppression. It’s a feeling of laughing out loud in your mind, but being unable to carry it out in body. It’s a feeling of lameness and unintentional hilarity and the urge to chuckle and snicker and guffaw for six hours coupled with the urge to puke and cry. It’s an ironic reverie of hipsterdom, as if everything’s a cop show called “Hard Case” and nothing else matters. It’s a feeling of ridicule and leers and mockery and puking. Lots of puking. So much puking that your teeth turn yellow. No, not really.

What does this have to do with Macbeth and Iron Sky? Well, I get the same feelings of ridicule, mockery, and puking when I watched both Macbeth and Iron Sky.

Once upon a time, I admired Macbeth. It was deep and elaborate. It was philosophical and profound. Macbeth’s character was heartrending, dramatic, realistic, and tragically flawed. Everything connected and argh, I can’t copy off the previous Mouretsu Pirates post anymore. Click that link and this entire post will make more sense.

(I actually drew the sunglasses on mspaint. Notice the AWKWARD BENDING ANGLE)

Anyways, even now, Macbeth is still a tragic masterpiece. However, when I watched Bard on the Beach’s play adaptation…

Don’t get me wrong here; Bard on the Beach is a great company, and their production of the Taming of the Shrew was (intentionally) hilarious. I doubt if any other theatre in British Columbia can enact a reproduction of Macbeth as well as Bard on the Beach did. Furthermore, the play we saw was a practice rehearsal. So, why was Macbeth unintentionally and ironically hilarious? Well.

It started with the beginning. The witches talked to invisible demons and chanted like schoolgirls. Given that the scene was quite thunderous, schoolgirl chanting didn’t help much with the mood. Indeed, all the witches’ dramatic scenes were executed quite hilariously, with their constant caressing of Macbeth, childish ring-around-the-poppy dancing and schoolgirl squealing completely mismatching their weird (in the fateful sense) demeanour. This ironic mismatch was exacerbated by their wearing of grotesque masks that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Classy. Their vanishing scene, not accomplished with a traditional trapdoor, was instead accomplished by having Macbeth and Banquo completely ignore their presence and loudly exclaim: “WHITHER ARE THEY VANISH’D?!” while staring one right in the face. The tragic finale of Macbeth’s beheading was made all the more comical by Macbeth’s head being little more than a balloon covered with red papier-mâché – and let us not forget ‘the great Birnham Wood’, consisting of two small twigs with fake leaves attached. (I was surprised they did not open the back tapestry for the forest scenes.)

Sure, those are prop limitations. Several other scenes stood out, including Lady Macbeth’s yandere shouting (Question enrages him. At once, good night. STAND NOT UPON THE ORDER OF YOUR GOING!! GO AT ONCE!!!) and another where including one where a woman shrieks a high-pitched, obvious womanly wail, and Macbeth inquires as to its origin. He receives the response, ‘It is the cry of women, my good lord.’ Aside: Lady Macbeth talks like my mom when she’s angry. I guess she’s *rips off shirt* ALWAYS ANGRY. I think that was an Avengers reference but I don’t know…

The worst was its insane over-dramatization. Each line took half a minute to say, each soliloquy taking up to ten minutes. Every single tiny line was stretched like a rubbbbbbbeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrr bbbbbbbbbaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddd until it broke and suddenlytheactorssaidfifteenwordsinfiveseconds. The resulting play was so unintentionally funny I literally broke out in laughter amidst glares of chagrin from my fellow play-goers. Plagal-ers. They love IV – I cadences.

This is bad because the humour in Macbeth was unintentional, and thus the irony was not hipster. Meanwhile, Iron Sky was intentionally stupid, and in that stupidity an ironic hilarity surfaces.

Iron Sky is a horrible film. The Nazi base makes no sense, Sarah Palin’s campaign made no sense, and the giant UFO-blimps reminiscent of failed Avengers Chitauri attacks made no sense (wait, blimps in space?) But by Madoka it was hilarious, Anne Frankly I’d recommend you give it a shot, even though these Nazi jokes are a bit out of Mein Kampfort zone. *prepares for hatemail*

So WHAT IS THE WHOLE POINT of this post?

The above two sections were unintentional humour. Mouretsu Pirates genuinely made me want to puke. I could hardly write thirty-five words on the matter. I had this incredible ridicule and feeling of mockery whenever I opened up a Mouretsu Pirates episode, and dreaded the day I’d have to write about it.

And now I’ve realized. It’s not that Mouretsu Pirates sucks. It’s just that I was shallow. I was too shallow, too mainstream to see through Mouretsu Pirates’s outer façade and find the true gem within.

Yes, I am now healed. I can write about Mouretsu Pirates without feeling nauseous anymore. In fact, I feel liberated. Blogging Mouretsu Pirates is fun, invigorating. Mouretsu Pirates may have flaws. It may seem to not make sense. The unenlightened may think it sucks. But the truth is…

Mouretsu Pirates is just an ironic hipster show that consistently makes fun of itself.

Mouretsu Pirates’s incompetent failures aren’t unintentional.

They’re all planned out.

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