O-New: Now Extinct Website

ST&RS 30

What a way to start off the new year! The symbolism behind rewriting a ST&RS post for New Year’s is that at O-New, the new year’s going to bring upon us the same fate as ST&RS: a slow, painful death from neglect, disinterest, and creative stagnation!

Here’s a picture of Shirafune farting.

warning: explicit sexual imagery ahead

When you start anything, you always keep in mind three things:

a) what you’re writing about
b) whom you’re writing for
b) what you’re writing about
c) why you’re writing it
c) what you’re writing about

I never keep these three things in mind when I write O-New posts, which is why nobody reads our site. Neither does the author of ST&RS. At the beginning, disbelief-suspending alien messages aside, ST&RS was very hard science. Normal space operas skip the training scenes and daily life; ST&RS didn’t, emphasizing its down-to-earth realism.

Then magical shining lights came in. And then actual aliens. And then Shirafune somehow miraculously escaping a catastrophic faux pas from sheer luck alone. If you can’t even do the OK sign in some countries ON EARTH, how do you know a handshake doesn’t mean ‘fuck you’ to an ALIEN?! There’s a reason why unknown customs and behaviours are ALIEN.

This is a picture of a handshake.

More importantly, imagine yourself as them.

You’re on Mars.

You’re in a giant alien tower.

You find that the tower has normal earth pressure.

You have enough oxygen in your suit to last you ten days.


¡sǝʎ sı ɹǝʍsuɐ ǝɥʇ

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