O-New: Now Extinct Website


Internet Meme 101: Shoop da Whoop +OH SHIT WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE [edit: not anymore]

[edit note: Mushy will probably kill me for doing that part about inviting flare to do posts bcuz we cant handle it D:

OH SHIT MUSHY’S COMPUTERS WENT DOWN! Since houraiguy posts like every hundred years and abd doesn’t post until 2011, it’s seriously all up to me…WHICH I CANT DO D:

So I have come up with an amazingly genius plan THAT HAS NOT BEEN CHECKED WITH MUSHY SINCE I CANT.


Since we’re all pretty desperate now, we’ll invite flare (if he/she accepts) to do some posts, and because i’m not a mod, I can’t actually let him come in; only Mushy can, but he’s not here. -.-

So flare, just send your posts to avian_dstryr@hotmail.com, and I’ll post the….


Lol I’m typing this post and suddenly I get a notification saying mushy posted with the title (I’m back!) >_> Lulz sorry to freak out flare for no reason now.

Anyways, now that we don’t have to worry about that, we can move on.


The meme “SHOOP DA WHOOP”, or “IMA FIRING MAH LAZER” is another awesome meme. It originated on 4chan (just like Pedo Bear), and originally looked like this


It was a lazer fired my THE EVIL DBZ ANTAGONIST CELL (who fired his lazer at GOKU)

At the time, it’s spread around the world was still quite minimal. BUT THEN, THERE CAME THE LAZER COLLECTION!

This is how the meme spread. After that, Shoop da Whoop has spread to many different formats, such as the DR.OCTOGONAPUS you just saw, and…

Oh yeah, and here’s the one made my DFear. Have fun, and bye.

O-REW 3: Google Translate

To foster multiculturalism, all elements of this site are transferred from numerous diverse languages, such as Polish, Azerbaijani, Yiddish, and Swahili.

After a long delay, the fourth edition of O-New’s Review of Entertaining Websites is finally out – but this time, instead of entertainment, we’re looking to functionality.

Have you ever had to translate something?


Google Translate saves your preferences, so when you open it next time, it’ll have the same translate from- and to- languages.

With a hefty database of fifty-six languages, every major language is included (and a few minor ones too).

What’s more, it loads quite fast; no ads, no subscriptions, and…


What’s more, Google Translate has its built in ‘instant’ function, so now you can search INSTANTLY, because hitting the enter key takes too much work for some of us.

Is this a filler post? Maybe so.

But remember – whenever you need something to translate, you should always use, GOOGLE TRANSLATE.


Internet Meme 101: OVER 9000!!!

You guys are so awesome, so I’m going to continue this series

Nappa: Vegeta, what does the scanner say about his power level?!

Vegeta: IT’S OVER 9000!!!

Nappa: WHAT 9000?!

Classical. Just classical. I seriously used this meme so much last year that if I used it any more, I’d get OVER 9000 PEOPLE TRY TO KILL ME! (Lesson Number 9000! on how to incorporate this meme into seriously anything) Honestly, I could respond in every single way you could imagine with “OVER 9000!!!” Favourite Meme, period.

Everyday convo:

Person: Hey YuChoy

YuChoy: Wut?

Person: How much homework do we have?

YUCHOY: OVER 9000!!!

Person: -_-

Second Example:

Person: What chapter of _____ manga are you on?


Person: O_o

It takes practice to be so pro with this meme, and when you do I recommend learning how to run away from people threatening to pound you.




In other words, OVER 9000 means that a large amount of something, and for people who don’t know where it’s from, it’s from this intriguing anime with amazing fighting scenes >_>

Hint hint: The mainthing everything in that anime share in common; one word: CONSTIPATION! Still don’t know? Fine, here.

And this even more messed up remix:


Life Tip: Use the meme OVER 9000 as much as you can, and you will succeed in life…a one in OVER 9000 POSSIBILITY THAT IS!!! (har har har*shot*)

FUN FACT: The Japanese Translations were originally supposed to be OVER 8000, with not so much enthusiasm. 8000 seems awkward to say.

ANOTHER FUN FACT: Yesterday the pedo post (pedo post?) got 14 views, second to Durarara x Black Lagoon. Did I attract pedos to o-new? (DUN DUN)


Don't worry Vegeta. We all understand your feelings


This post is like extremely unstructured (since when were any posts structured?)Bye bye guys, and in response to drawing pedophiles to O-New, here’s something to feed those strange pedos


Cherry flavour???


Internet Meme 101: Pedo Bear




ITS PEDO BEAR!!! Pedo Bear originated from 2chan, Japan’s popular imageboard (inspired 4chan to be made). It was originally supposed to be “Safety Bear”, but because it got onto 4chan in 2004, people were like “Let’s turn safety into pedophile!!!” That’s just how demented the internet is these days :D

Pedo Bear is just, awesome. He started off with a catchphrase”is dat sum loli”, but because makes no sense, it faded away.


Pedophiles are proud supporters of the Vancouver 2010 olympics


I have no idea why Pedo Bear is so popular, but I guess people just like associating cute furry stuff with demented, creepy stuff, like this

You see? You have a cute little chipmunk, and then you get people turning it into the antagonist of Austin Power. That just shows how strange the mind of people work nowadays. (Should I review Dramatic Chipmunk next? Or something else? Comment and tell me plz)

Like all other perverted memes, it has a ton of Photoshopped images, like this montage

Hooray, I have wasted your time. Mission accomplished har har har. Obviously this one isn’t as awesome as “All your Base are Belong to Us” so why not add some more Engrish? (cuz you all love it so much =D)


Er...I'd like to keep my privates safe, thank you very much






Er...at least it's eco-friendly?





You see? You see how Engrish makes everyone happy? So yeah, I’ll come up with a more interesting meme next, so have fun browsing O-New. Bye.

Internet Meme 101 Intro+All your base are belong to us

Since I have nothing better to do, why not educate the viewers of this blog (if there are any) on internet memes? But like, it’s really because I’m bored and have nothing better to do (HURRRRR BLACK OPS LIKE A CRAZED ADDICTION MANZ)

To start it off, we have “CATS: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”




And here’s the video of that creepy cyborg cliche guy saying it

WTH is a zig? Is it like a escape pod modified for war or something? A zig? lol sounds stupid.

In addition, here’s a tribute video

Har har har worldwide riot saying “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”

“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US” came from a japanese (of course its japanese) game called “Zero Wings”, published in 1989 by Toaplan. First of all, the gameplay itself is crap, so it didn’t get famous because of that. It got famous because of the poor translations from Japanese to English, creating phrases like “Somebody set us up the bomb” and “You have no chance to survive make your time”. And let’s not forget “For great justice” ZOMG I just realized that epic phrase was from this crappy game. Kinda reminds me of chinglish, or engrish.


Engrish is fail translations into English...as demonstrated by this interesting warning label that contains PREFECTLY CORRECT ENGLISH


Oh yeah here’s a funnier one




After seeing all this, you must think “ARE WE ALL GOING TO SUFFER FROM FAIL GRAMMAR IN THE FUTURE?” According to Toeplan, yes we are. Yes we are, and for great justice too.

And because I seriously feel like it, I’m going to spaz out a whole bunch of ridiculous pics of Engrish. Bye ;-)

Alright enough stupidity if you want more go to the link k bai have a nice life, and remember, he’s after you…

An Organizational Voyage [Quest Completed]

The final installment of an organizational voyage (last one being more than three months ago) is here.

This is also O-NEW’s 300th post.


…Yeah. I’ve deleted all stupid tags (dammit hourai), fused and deleted several categories, sorted unorganized posts, changed the sidebar, etc…

(Drawings, Developing, Links, and Organization have been deleted, so all that’s left has at least 10 posts in it :V)

Just thought I’d put that out. :V I WONDER WHY I DID THAT

Xmarks, without a viable marketing strategy, is forced to stop its service in 90 days. ;~; At least I still have chrome…


^ Interesting article about facebook and social networking in general. What we don’t want is one network to control everything – we need a ‘federation’, a bundle of different networks all linked together. That way, I can actually check comments on every blog I comment instead of just the wordpress ones…

^ pls to be have Touhou animu soon? ;~;

^ I need to play more UFO :<

^ Someone make this game. Now.

Monochrome Pictures: Series 2.1

One, this is only one picture.

Two, it’s not monochrome. But grey would be a poor choice for the lines D:

Goodbye MODERN WARFARE 2, hello ONEW+Video Review


So as the title screams, I’ve stopped playing MW2, due to consistent kicks in the shin by awesomebananadancer, and also simply because of the fact that its not my game.

Anyways, there is like this vid thats kinda kewl (but lecturing) about stuff. So yeah, just watch.

Surprised no?

Anyways, if you’re above 13, (you should be), you probably already get those three things.


Obviously, autonomy is better because you get beer and cake and PARTY. lol jks. The real thing about autonomy is simply because youre not getting bossed by other people on what to do. WOOHOO In a way, this is what makes video games popular. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, except stop the fact that your princess is in another castle.

Then we haz zee mastery. Mastery, obviously, is having mad skills at something. Just like TheAlmightyHutch has pro skills in MW2, Beethoven also had mad skills in music. AND ALSO HOW TOAD HAZ TEH MAD SKILLS OF TELLING PEOPLE THAT YOUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE

For Purpose, well, there is beer and cake hanging from teh tree. Anyways, purpose is pretty much the mix of autonomy and mastery. The purpose of making your company succeed, is pretty much trying to be autonomous and master the diffferent aspects, no?

Well, that was a pretty crappy review. If anyone else comes up with a different answer to the three motives, then comment and make me feel stupid. :D

O-NEG 11: Amorphous+

A game of greatness

Amorphous+ stars a generic hero with a sword following the tradition of the Generic Stereotypical Odd-Coloured-Hair Japanese Hero Dude (As Seen In Final Fantasy) in that he has a RABIES (Really Antagonizing Big Indestructible Edged Sword) that is like three times longer than your arm span. Holy shi[pwreck fi]t. This sword cannot be broken, even if you 1. Smash it into a) a wall, b) a razor sharp thing held by a Gloople, or c) a boulder Gloople thing, 2. Get murdered by d) a Biter, which noms your face, e) a Fuzzle, which also noms your face, f) a Grinder, which contrary to popular belief does not actually gain levels for running over blue-jumpsuit-wearing GSO-C-HJHD(ASIFF)s, etc.

The Gameplay portion in A+ is very well executed; the controls are simple and easy to use. Most Glooples have a specific manner in which they are to be dispatched, which means that your GSO-C-HJHD(ASIFF) will be running around a Sharp, while pacifist’ing several lunging Biters until the Sharp is vulnerable, which is when you go SLASH. After SLASHing, you are of course mauled to death by the Biters.

Your… Character… follows your mouse wherever it is, and clicking causes him to swing his incredibly over-sized sword in a WHOOSH of destruction relatively quickly. However, the main fun about A+ is the fact that there are 110 achievements, some for doing nothing (Absentee – Leave Pause screen on for 3 minutes [medal picture depicts a toilet]), and some for being

What is particularly

about A+’s “Awards” is that for every 10 “Awards” earned, you will also earn a “Reward Key”, which surprisingly UNLOCK AN

“Reward”. After collecting a grand total of 10 Awards, an “Reward slot” is awarded. Award award award award award award award blah blah blah

Although it is possible to have 5 Rewards unlocked before the awesome arrival of the second Reward slot (@ 55 awards, which is easy peasy to earn :/), it is only possible to equip, at any time, the amount of Rewards on a 1-to-1 correspondence (That’s right, right?) to Reward slots.  Or, in more internet-ish terms, one reward for each reward slot. Or, in even more internet terms, 1 R3\/\//-\R|) 4 34c|-| R3\/\//-\R|) $70’|’ (Personally, I think that type of 1337 is plain stupid).

There are essentially 19 characters in A+. 18 are blobs of some sort (Although calling a boulder a blob is pushing it).

In case you are interested, I will proceed to describe these Glooples/blobs in order of Bestiary (AKA official order). However, I will not bother to supply their name.


  1. Green blob that walketh in a straight lineth. This cannot kill you. Bumping into it will stun you, nothing else. Capable of “reverse mitosis” (or combo-ing) with itself. Author’s Notes (AN): Basically cannon fodder/combo point multiplier fodder.
  2. Yellow squarish blob, also the straight lineth-eer. Also doesn’t kill you. Upon contact with anything (sword, another blob, you), goes FWOOSH and dumps a large pool of yellow crap on you that slows anything down. AN: The Crap Of Yellow also affects any Glooples generally smaller than trucks. To be precise, anything you-sized or smaller, including, naturally, you. Doesn’t affect, of course, boulders.
  3. Blue fanged blob. It chases you and if it gets close enough, it goes LUNGE I WANT YOUR BLOODDD. Most common thing to kill you. AN: Capable of reverse mitosis as well. You do NOT want that to happen.
  4. Orange “sqooshy” blob thing. Leaky. Very leaky once killed. Homes in on you, but not very quickly. Fragile as well. It’s not pee lemonade it leaks (not like mister yellow up there), but salsa. Or hot sauce. Very hot sauce apparently, because most things stepping in there melt dissolve. AN: Accidents happen. A lot.
  5. Light-blue spike-blob thing. It’s like “Roll Roll Roll” (McRoll = -.-) and also “VANT UR BLUD” guy. Must withdraw spikes if you want to kill it, which means getting behind it without slashing until it does so. AN: Get a certain item, and this is made loads easier. If you don’t get the Reward I have in mind, these are annoyinger than hell. Also, slashing at them while they’re spiky and all will still knock them back, and also possibly into other stuff…
  6. Purple grape. Also a follower. These guys are also annoying. They shoot mini purple grapes at you that slow you down. If you do get hit by them (easily dodgable, but still), spin around a lot to shake them off. These grapes will eventually grow up if not scared off the field (they run away). Also, killing a big grape leaves several baby grapes on the ground behind it, which must then be mopped up :/ AN: If you have too many grapes on you, you will not be able to move.
  7. Black shadowblobninjasamuraiblob (as shadowninjasamurai as a blob can get, at least). Not invisible, fortunately, but fairly quick and agile. It leaves a black trail in its wake. Also fragile. If killed by contact with anything, it leaves (again) a puddle of inkstuffmaybeitsoilithinkitsoilitsureactslikeoil that is slippery. Flammable, as in it exploders if it runs into a large fire. If what it hits happens to be you, the screen will turn black for several seconds, presumably the character being blinded. The game continues to play while this blindness occurs. AN: Explosions can kill you. Just a thought.
  8. Boulder. Slightly curves towards you, and also FREAKING HUGE, MAN. Hitting it with your regular sword doesn’t do anything. To make it vulnerable, it must a) be hit by another boulderblobthingnotreallyablobbecauseitsaboulder, b) run into orangeblobgoo, or c) be hit by an explosion (this is rare). Runs over pretty much ANYTHING. AN: Takes 5 hits after vulnerability to kill it, which sucks.
  9. A grizzly bear blob. It takes three hits to kill. After two hits, it becomes shaved (it’s furry brown) and tries to run  away. It regrows its hair after awhile. Also, in fuzzy form, it can survive orangeblobgoo (but it will be shaved afterwards). AN: They act a lot like the blue blobs, but they pause before “Murderous Lunge”. Also, this is starting to look like a Pokedex. “Gotta Kill Em All”, except in Pokemon, they pretend dead Pokemon are “fainted”. Yes, that’s right, those Pokemon Centers have Necromancy Lv. 192804751876. ZOMBIE PIKACHU!
  10. Big Green Blob. The result of green blob mitosis. Actually follows you, but slowly. Is not able to run over as many things as the boulderblobthatisnotablob, but still pretty wreckingball-esque. Takes three hits to sploosh. AN: Not much to say here, move along. It kills you by rolling onto you, in which case it digests you. Nom.
  11. Flaming bomb blob (not to be confused with flaming anyothertypeofblobprettymuchblob). If you slash it while alight, it’ll blow the F_ _ _ up on your face and kill you, leaving a large fire (the kind that blows up shadowblob into another explosion, leaving another large fire). It’s flames will eventually recede (they’ll also recede immediately if they run into yellow lemonade pools or hot sauce lava), in which case it can be slashed without the explosion, but they’ll relight after running into a large fire. AN: Kinda annoying because of the “must wait so you don’t die immediately” feature. Kinda. Kinda. A lot. Follows you.
  12. Icy blob. It can’t kill you, fortunately. Also fragile (“fragile” means bumping into it causes it to a-splode). REALLY FAST AND CURVES WELL TOO. Can’t really outrun it so much as dodge it. If it does explode, most things within a certain radius get frozen. If frozen, move mouse up and down to break out. When frozen, you are “fragile”. Frozen blobs award no points. AN: ANNOYING. Must kill quickly and also must mouse spazz quickly.
  13. Metal blob with mini tentacles. It hardens quickly when slashed if not done well. When you do slash it well, you’ll have to do it again. And once more. Also chases you. If you’re far enough from it, it’ll extend a tentacle to spear you and then OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. AN: Did I forget to mention that those big green blobs become these through more reverse mitosis with more (small) green blobs? Also, it’s vulnerable while it’s poking it’s spear out (not while withdrawing it).
  14. Lighter green big blob. It REALLY OMNOMNOMNOMNOMs the heck out of stuff. It takes a lot of hits. With each hit, it shrinks a bit. It eats things smaller than it, making it grow. It’ll also split sometimes. AN: Fast and agile as well. Kinda annoying.
  15. The “Horror”. This is the actual name of this thing. The Horror. OH THE HORROR, the HORROR. THE HORRORRRR. Gah. It is basically two bluelungeblobsofdeath mitosis’d. It doesn’t lunge. Oh no. It runs you over. It’s a big (big green blob sized, actually) spinning, blue sawblade of DEATH. Like a lawn mower. It occasionally shoots little fatal fangs. Sometimes it’ll shoot four mini blue slicers, leaving a blue core. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. KILL IT QUICKLY WHILE IT’S VULNERABLE, BECAUSE THOSE THINGS WILL COME BACK SOON AND IT’LL PROBABLY RUN YOU OVER LATER. Also, really annoying. AN: Beware the fangs. Also, it won’t reveal the core unless you’re far enough. The Horror of it all.
  16. A purple octopus of longer-tentacles and even more shadowninjasamuraiblob awesome. Although it only takes one hit to kill, IT IS DANGER ☢CAUTION!☢ ☢CAUTION!☢ ☢CAUTION!☢ (extreme amounts of awesome detected) OUS. If not performing Attack 3, it will use Attack 1, which is a gravity veil-thing that somewhat pulls you towards its center, and when you are close enough it performs Attack 2, which is to send out a ripplingwaveofdeaththatskindalikeanexplosionbutstill. Attack 1 usually stops after awhile, but do not, under pretty much any circumstances, get anywhere close to this blob while it does this. Also, it is made by r-mitosis between a metalgearsolidblob and a regular small green blob. AN: Attack 3, BTW, is a charged attack. Basically, the purple thing gather matter in front of it and SHOOP DA F_ _ _ ING WHOOP, a laser comes out of nowhere and disintegrates (almost) anything that touches it. This is the only time (while it charges and while it’s shooting) when this thing is vulnerable (e.g. can be attacked without using Attack 2 on your sorry tailless back end). Also note that the laser doesn’t move and that it pulls stuff towards it.
  17. A red string of blobs with two golden swords. This is a blob that appears near the end of a “nest”. It tries to cleave you into two. It will do this by: a) Lunging towards you with one sword, then another lunge with the other. (Very long ranged attack), b) Half-heartedly swinging one sword at you, c) Jumping backwards and swinging both swords forwards, kinda like safety scissors, except not safe, or d) You walking into one of its blades. The main way to kill it is by slashing while it lunges. AN: The timeframe for killing the blobstringthingblob is very small. This is ridiculously hard.
  18. A RAZOR QUEEN, ahiddenbossoho (another use of the official name). This will own you. It’ll own you with it’s awesome golden tail that will own you or it’s awesome golden side leg sword things that will own you or it’s pair of golden swords that you will own-* I mean, will own you. It takes 5 good hits to kill it, and they have to be when it lunges, and to it’s head-part-thing-blob-part. It will enter the screen with a lunge (it will spread both it’s main swords and LUNGGGGGGE), which is your cue to dodge to the side of the head and give a good slash. The Razor Queen will also consistenly drop black-blue mini spike things that will walk around randomly. If you get too close to these, they will pause and explode with teethy goodbadness. The R-Queen will also randomly enter Siege Form. This is when it stops moving and starts SHOOTING. This is supremely bad. You must then dodge all the fangs, drill mites, and spiny jacks it then proceeds to blast-, no, shoot-, no, fire-, no, spew** at you at pretty high speed. Fangs are basically just bullets and jacks are basically portable pieces of cover (for the fangs) that it also shoots at you (note: walking into them results in impalement). The drill mites are a different story. These jerks follow you underground at decent speeds, and when they get really close to you, they’ll just go “POP” out of the ground and try to run you through. If the mite misses, it’ll re-enter the ground again and continue chasing you until you destroy it, which you do by swinging while it is out of the ground (e.g. trying to kill you). With luck, the R-Queen will not throw these things at you (With more luck, the R-Queen will not even enter Siege Form, but that’s wishful thinking right there). After several seconds of sieging your face, the R-Queen will start moving again and will be vulnerable all over again. AN: HARDEST>F…ING>BOSS>IN>THE>G>A>M>E. Also appears late in the nest.
  19. The last character in A+… is the player character. And all his dead clones, just lying in some shallow grave somewhere out there, still wearing their blue jumpsuits.

A+ has some real addicting gameplay up it’s sleeve, but getting every one of the 110 awards is a pain (Hardest Achievement: either “Queensbane“, ““, “Merciless“, “Untouchable“, “Unbelievable Combo“, “Killer Swing“, or “Legend“.****)

This is a description of all the awards in appearance: Gold, Silver, or Bronze medals with a black picture on them and a design of the ribbon part.*****

Rating: 10/10 (Go Play This Game Right Now. Also, Wear An Aluminum Foil Hat, Because Otherwise This Game’s Awesomely Epic Win Leetness And Ownage Will Rock Your Clock And Sock That Rock While Logging That Noggin)

*It’s a reference to this manzai (TH M1, 2nd). Also, you get to have one of its swords if you beat it outside of practice mode.

** (WARNING: Link leads to TVTropes. Houraiguy is not responsible for hours days weeks years spent following up to this one link***. Seriously, the amount of links there is insane.)

*** I suppose you could sue TVTropes…? Nahhh.

**** Queensbane: “Awarded for splatting 3 Queens [the red string of blobs with two golden swords]. Cat-like reflexes, iron concentration, and a healthy dose of luck to boot. Or you’re just that leet.” : “Awarded for splatting a Razor Queen. You are now entitled to boast to your friends that you beat the boss of this game. Ignore confused looks of skepticism.” Merciless: “Awarded for splatting 2 Razor Queens. Anyone can stumble through something impressive once. Consider this proof of your awesomeness.” Untouchable: “Awarded for surviving 10 minutes in Bounty Run mode [survival mode]. I can only assume you’ve reached some sort of ninth-level-zen-state to keep it going for a whole ten minutes. There is no fear- there is only the Force” Unbelievable Combo: “Awarded for splatting 8 Glooples in a single swing. What the… how do you even FIT eight Glooples into one swing arc?? You cheated somehow didn’t you… don’t lie to me.” Killer Swing: “Awarded for splatting 300 bounty worth of Gloople in a single swing. Now that’s how you use a preposterously out of size sword. Cloud who.” Legend: “Awarded for scoring 3000 points in any mode. Holy crap, what are you, a freaking Jedi?!”. Other humourous descriptions of awards: Dedicated: “Awarded for dying 50 times. Somewhere out there, there’s a graveyard full of your failures.” Impressionist: “Awarded for splatting four different types of Glooples in one single swing. Not just instant abstract art, but one of the toughest achievements in the game. Congratulations.” Black Mark: “Awarded for splatting an Inkie [the black shadowblobninjasamuraiblob]. Bonus points if you thought of Rorschach***** and saw a pony.” Sick Combo: “Awarded for slashing 6 Glooples in a single swing. Now that’s a great swing. Opportunity knocked, and you slashed the crap out of it.” Bragging Rights: “Awarded for clearing a Huge Single Nest. Roses are red. Violets are blue. All my base are belong to you.” Academic: “Awarded for spending 10 minutes total in Practice mode. The pen is mightier than the sword. Except in this game. Cuz there’s no pen. And the sword is really big.” Massive Swing: “Awarded for splatting 150 worth of bounty in a single swing. A swing like that shows some pretty deft tactics. Either that or blind luck, but we’ll stick with the tactics thing.” Mad Skills: “Awarded for clearing a Big Single Nest. Your name shall strike terror into the hearts of Glooples for ages to come. If they had hearts. Okay, their goo, then.” Bloodletter: “Awarded for being killed 5 different ways. Variety is the spice of life. Also, apparently, messy bloody death.” Gorehound: “Awarded for being killed in 10 different ways. Burned, bisected, bitten, melted, impaled, shattered, mauled, and beheaded. And your insurance premiums are probably none to pretty either.” Threat Assessment: “Awarded for surviving 10 minutes in Bounty Run mode without dying. Assuming you aren’t a sissy or didn’t have the difficulty ramp set on low, that’s actually pretty good. Otherwise, well… you’re a sissy.”

***** As in the inkblot test. I’ve saved you the trouble of going to Wikipedia. Tips, please.

Navy SEAL’s vs. Israeli Commandos ~ Part Two ~

In this post, we’ll be comparing the pistols. In other words, the mid-range weapons.

The Israeli Commando’s weapon. The Glock 19

The Navy SEAL’s weapon. The Vulcan EBF 25. No, just kidding, it’s actually the Sig Sauer P226

How do pistols get all these weird names? There’s like random numbers in the name just to make it sound cooler. The Sig Sauer has nothing at all to do with the number 226. It’s probably to intimidate the enemy. I have this really big newspaper sword but I could call it the KRN-680-Rocket-Chainsaw-Machine gun-Sword, that would be intimidating, right?

Now serving mushrooms!

In order to test the pistols, the team has created this sort of restaurant, there are two terrorists, one is holding a hostage, one is going to ambush you. You have to destroy the lights then take out the terrorists as fast as you can without causing any collateral damage.

Pictures of the Navy SEAL’s test:

That's about as perfect as a shot you could deliver.

Pictures of the Commando’s:

The Navy SEAL’s took 13 seconds to complete the job while the Commando’s took 20. The SEAL’s finished the job pretty well, they didn’t have much problem completing the job. The Commandos, had some trouble taking out the lights, however, when the surprise terrorist came out, he landed 3 shots to the heart instantly. Since these are both guns, the real difference can only be told by how fast the job was completed. And because the SEAL’s were faster, they win this round.

The Deadliest Warrior ~ Navy SEAL’s vs. Israeli Commandos ~ Part One ~

Since it’s August, my exams are all finished. Because of this, I turned on the machine that has been dormant for around a month now, the TV. Since I rarely watch anything, I browsed through the channels to see what I could find. There was this interesting show called “The Deadliest Warrior”.

In this show, they take two warriors. For the episode I watched, it was Navy SEALs against Israeli Commandos. For the majority of the show, they would compare each other’s weapons. Then, they would have the showdown part where they run a simulation battle 1000 times to see who is the deadliest warrior.

Each team’s weapons…

Explosives Boom, headshot! Everybody loves explosives!

Navy Seals- C4

Although I hear about it a lot, I’ve never actually seen it in action. It’s a plastic bomb, usually used for blowing up ships. This thing is super stable, you can freaking light it on fire and it won’t blow up. It looks like butter, it can’t be molded though D: To test this weapon, they have to swim underwater, then attach it to a boat, then BLOW IT UP! While swimming underwater, they use a rebreather, a device that allows you to breathe without creating air bubbles. Pictures of the test:

Excuse me, Captain. I'm afraid your whiskey has exploded.

Israeli Commandos-Semtex Explosive

Fun to play with, not to eat. This explosive is freaking epic. It’s basically an explosive that’s so light, you can barely feel it. Also, you can mold it into any shape you want. Since it has these two properties, I could hide some in Mushy’s laptop, then while he’ watching anime, I could activate it! This explosive was actually used to assassinate some important guy by putting it in his cellphone, when he answered it, his head fell off.

3 pounds of this stuff can take down a two-story building, no problem. When I saw this for the first time, I’m just like O_o

Pics of the test:

Boom! Headshot!

So, how would you like your coffee today?

Final showdown between both explosives. One pound of each are put into an outhouse, then, we blow up each of them, we measure which one gave off more psi.

C4 destroyed the outhouse, 270 pounds of pressure per square inch

Semtex, 324 pounds of pressure per square inch

Israeli Commandos win this one.

To be continued…

O-NEG 10: Colour Theory

Eight Colours…

Thirty Levels…

One game…

Alright, this is a game called Colour Theory. When I first read the instructions, I was like, holy crap, what is this? After, I decided to try playing it. The game came to me pretty easily, there were two types of levels. Levels that required skill and levels that required intellect. On the first level, you should encounter an image similar to this. Only without that many rectrangles. Anyways, this is an awesome game, go play it.

After touching one of the crosses, all of the rectangles of the same colour will disappear. In some instances, this is good. In others, it is bad. In the picture below, the robot will die.

Dead robot.

The goal, it appears to be a portal. Upon touching it, your robot will disintegrate then all pieces will enter the portal. This is probably because your robot has had too much cake.

In addition to falling off the screen, your robot can die in other ways such as encountering an enemy or impaling himself on some spikes.

Graphics: Really simple, pixel pack actually
Replayability: There is no point, not even the tiniest bit
Gameplay: Some of the levels are purely based on skill, you can spend 20 minutes continuously doing a level, those levels are really annoying, other than that, it’s pretty fun
Concept: It’s new. Like awesome new. Like O-new. I like it.

~Laziness prevails, I’m too lazy to create the rest of this post~



So yes, I have internet connection while on vacation! I can post! I can be up to date on my one-person video subscriptions[EDIT: Not enough internet to actually do this.]! AND DAAAAAVE

>-Actual O-NEG Begins Here

Inquisitive Dave is a game. Games are this.* ID (cue Koishi danmaku and Freudian quotes) is about a person named Dave. He presumably goes around SAVING THE WORLDDDD-DAVE DAVE DAVE RAVE.

[Some people may notice at this point that I feel all rave-y today RAVE ON DAVE

ID uses the mouse FOR ONLY ONE PURPOSE. This is to regain focus on the Adoozy Falsh control thingamajigger if focus is lost. Otherwise, use WASD/<^>v ** and SPACE AND THE GALAAAAAXYBAR/Enter.

List1: Things Dave Can Do

Dave can JUMP.*** Press W or ^.
Dave can SAVE THE WORLD [citation needed]

List2: Things Fatal To Dave

  • Water: DAVE CAN’T SWIMMMM- blub
  • Antlions: The ones from Tremors.
  • Poisonous-To-Dave Berries: They’re deadly POISON! ALSO ADDICTIVE OR SOMETHING!
  • The End Of The World: 2012
  • Wizard (EVIL): Shoots an Electric Zap. See Electric Zap.
  • Electric Zap: See WIZARD

>–Back To The O-NEG Here

ID: This is like a Point-And-Click game (It’s a Falsh game, remember? KONGREGATE FTW), except without the use of the SACRED MOUSE. And with sarcastic comments.

List3: Sarcastic Quotes From ID:*****

  • “It’s a puddle. You’d better hurry up and escape soon because there’s a dripping up in the ceiling; the water level could reach a whole foot in the next millenia or two.”
  • (Outside of prison, talking to prison guard for your cell) “Go away. I’m guarding the prisoner.” (You are the prisoner :/)
  • “It’s some of that Awesomade. Didn’t they stop making that after that kid’s eyes fell out?”
  • (Intro) Dave: “If only there was some sort of guiding player to make decisions for me!”

Thus we see that ID has a sense of humour. ID does seem to have an awful amount of walking back and forth, but the humour is very well implemented (Thus we see ID is more like a humour romp than a game~). The FINAL BOSS is also pretty creatively made (HINT: CAMPING RAVE RAVE RAVE).

By the way, you haven’t learned anything from reading this post. Hurrrrm. Also, the link is here.


*Or at least Super Mario Galaxy 2 is that.
**Arrow Keys.
***So can Greg~.
****He can’t actually move down w/out gravity. He can’t move selectstartba either :/
*****Not direct quotes.

Pictures of things related to Zero

These people have zero life, also known as no life.

Notice how the infinity symbol has two side ways zeros. HMMMM......conspiracy?

The Purpose of Zero

The truth is, zero has zero purpose. (Recently, zero’s purpose being within itself has caused a tear in the space time continueum of earth’s atmosphere, unleashing an army of deranged lepricons with light sabers) Some argue that Zero’s purpose is in fact to prevent anarchy in the world where as others argue that its purpose is to cause anarchy in the world.

Zero = Anarchy: Those that believe the number zero is to create anarchy amongst the world are known as Crackpots. None of their points have ever been validated, because nobody gives a damn about what a crackpot has to say. Crackpots often point out that Zero is responsible for 1000’s of suicides each year. Their research shows that these suicides are often commited by teenagers struggling with the concept of there being nothing where there once was something.

Additionally, Crackpot research shows that 21% of Zero Suicides are by middle aged women who never settled down to have children and as a result have very saggy Zeros between their legs which take on the image of a Walrus on crack. Of course, none of this research can be validated because, quite frankly, who would listen to a Crackpot? If you see one, do both it and the world a favor by killing it before it molasts a lamp without a lightbulb with the switch on. (Which nobody wants to see). The only way to kill a Crackpot is with a stake knife and chokery using an arcade token.

Zero = Peace: People that believe Zero’s purpose is to keep the peace are called Zero Peace Fanatics. The General Public has always been highly confused by this name, believing that Zero Peace Fanatics are obsessed worshipers of religious fruit and wish to rain used condems upon the earth to create global terror. (Most people ignore these accusations and simply state that Zero Peace Fanatics are ‘just a global threat.’ Zero Peace Fanatics are in fact, very peaceful people with absolutely no lives. They live at home eating jelly beans and their only social activity is getting together with penguins to have apple dunking games. What all this has to do with anything is still a mystery. The Zero Peace Fanatics hope that one day we will all find Zero in our destinies and be at peace with everything. Zero Peace Fanatics believe that Apocalypse Zero was a God-like prophet sent by a giant Zero shaped warp storm located near the ‘dwarf planet’ Pluto [AKA: Circularly challenged sphere].

Creation of Zero

In the beginning there was something. That something being absolutely nothing. Therefore, Zero has existed since the beginning. Zero’s existence within a state of non-existence caused the big bang. Man began life in the ancient lands of Mesabeginia. Humans were very simple creatures with very complex psychological problems concerning the existence from non-existence that would cause religious warfare to rage on for thousands of years.

Men were very competative by nature and would often have competitions over how yellow a banana was, rock collections, and number of tetris games won. These competitions were very important to the men, however they had no way of keeping records because they were unaware of numbers.

After many great wars and complete anihalations of a variety of cultures a solution was discovered. Competative records could be kept on the amount of fingers people held up. Highly honored people known as Dumba**es would witness an important competition and keep record of the scores on their fingers. They would continue to hold their fingers up as long as the winning competitor continued to pay a weekly fee of tubby custard. Over time, each finger (and thumb) was given a name. The first finger was named One(Wan) after a very lonely Chinese virgin who lived in the mountains. Two(Tew) was named after a couple of side by side turds with faces drawn in them. Three, four, five, six were just random baby names pulled from a lottery and seven, eight, nine were chosen in rememberance of the horrible case of cannobolism when a very strange and hungry man named Seven ate an ugly woman named Nine. Ten was actually called Ben after a very famous general’s son, but Oscar Wilde changed it to Ten because Hitler kept getting laughed at trying to say, ‘I vant to drop Ben Bombs!!!’

Over time, the losers of very humilating competitions would sneak into the houses of the Dumbasses and cut off their fingers so that there would be no proof of any record. (Rather bizarly, anyone who tried to bribe between 10 000 BC and 2000 BC would burst into flames) Dumba**es who’d had their fingers cut off would often say, “I have no fingers” or “The count of my fingers is none”, but people went into a frenzy of anarchy because there could not possibly be a number for having no number. Tens of thousands of wars were fought over the holy grail which supposadly contained the almighty ‘!number without a number!’ At last an unknown man named Apocalypse Zero came along and stopped what is now known as the Apocalypse of Zero. He claimed that this number without a number was in fact, Zero (named after himself) which he stated as either the loss of everything or the gain of nothing. (Or for the mathamatically challenged: The rim of an oval next to a 1) But in all seriousness, 0 was invented in India. So yeah, thanks.

About Zero

Zero is the value of nothing, but zero is not nothing, because the value of nothing is the value of something which means that nothing is something and something can’t be nothing without being non-existent which is imposible without the ability to un-become, which of course does not mean destroy, because to destroy is to make something into nothing and we’ve already gone over why something can’t be nothing since nothing is something. You have just witnessed the number zero, as in, you have zero clue as to what you just read and never will, because the amount of facts in that statement are Zero.

Zero is the value of nothing, although Zero is not equal to non-existence, because zero most certainly does exist despite the fact that it does absolutely nothing to contribute to society. There have been many attempts by Christian groups, AA, and the Back on your Feet Foundation to get Zero back into the working world so that it can make something of itself and accomplish something asides from nothing.

The shape of the number zero was decided by the Zero Appearence competition held by Jesus Christ when he got bored of walking on water and decided to do something just as equally pointless, but even more awsome. The winner was a retarded talking carrot who simply submitted an oval with the center cut out of it.

Zero resides between negative one and postive one.

Zero is also a place holder. It will hold people’s place in line ups if they have to go pee. Unfortunately, reserving your spot with a worthless number is not very effective.

Quite remarkably, Zero’s presence to the right of any number makes it worth 10 times as much. (Including the number ten itself) Therefore, the fact of reality is that as long as you have something (no matter how small and near valueless it is) the presence of lots and lots of worthless items next to it increases the worth. For instance, a pen might not be worth much by itself, but put a melted thimble, a pile of ashes and a bird without wings next to it and suddenly you’ve got a priceless model of the earth and its populance in 20 years.

Monochrome Pictures: Series 2


“Return of the freaking evil bamboo forest, Take 1”

“21345414667 grazes and 1 point later”

“Not the unbeatable spellcard! NOOOOO”

Note: It’s not usually that big >.>

“Er… Should I pick Yes… or Yes…? WHERES MAH KCUFING NO BUTTON”

Monochrome Pictures: Series 1


Not based on a true story.

Continue #3

Someone set us up the bomb

This is what happens when you have no bombs to be “set us upped

HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 4

I’m running out of ideas~  ‘~’


Number 3: The Black Hole Generator (HeliAttack 3; PC (Flash))

What: This huge-*** gun does not shoot bullets. It does not shoot missiles, bullets, lasers, boomerang blades, corrosive goo, sparks, or shotgun shells. No. See “Why”.

How: Something along the lines of what makes pretty much every freaking gun work. HAXSHENANIGANSANDEVERYTHING. Who really cares, though? IT’S AWESOME.

Why: It shoots black holes. This is no microscopic LHC black hole producer. This makes BLACK HOLES. This kills anything on screen. Excludes you. Screen shake added! This black hole is like 5 yous tall. IT RIPS THROUGH HELICOPTERS LIKE BUTTER KNIFES THROUGH BUTTER.


Actually, the BHG does not create all the bullets, arrows, or grenades in that picture. Those were there just for show. The ominous black shadows in the middle of all this is a BLACK HOLE that will ABSORB all those loverly things into it, thus removing all the lag. The arrows specifically prove that that guy is EIRIN

Numeros 2: The Experimental MIRV (Fallout 3; PC, XBox 360, PS3)

Yeah, we already did a post with a weapon from FO3.

[grand, epic speech]





Because this is awesome. Also, to hell with the “Why:” and “What:” and “How:” columns.

Earlier in this game, you will occasionally find a “Fat Man” off somewhat tough enemies. Remember Hiroshima? Yes, references are great UNLESS THEY’RE HISTORICAL in which case [hyena] THEY’RE HYSTERICAL [/squeaking]. Even earlier from that point, you will notice items referred to as “Mini-Nukes”. Also, these items are quizzically organized in the “Ammunition” category. You may, at this point, wonder what these ammunition items are for, excluding selling (these are rare and sell for a LOT). That is where the Fat Man does. It shoots these mini-nukes. To hell with this “mini-” prefix, these things make pretty big explodershuns. AND THEY HURT. The only problems with M-Ns:

1. They are rare,

2. They can hurt you with their insane splash radii, and

3. They are not as big as the nuke in Megaton, which is taller AND fatter than YOU (you can’t get fat >.>).

Because of 1., M-Ns run out quickly.

And then the E-MIRV comes in.

The E-MIRV is not so mere as to be able to be found off mere mortal enemies. No, you must (practically) go through HELL (not the Deathclaw Sanctuary, where you can find medic power armour) to find 5 “Keller Family Transcripts”, and then venture through this weird building for a long time until you reach a freaking terminal that will only let you past with the passwords in the transcripts… AND THEN YOU FINALLY GET THE MIRV (with bonus nukes!)

What is different from the Fat Man and the Experimental MIRV? For a start, the E-MIRV is more powerful. How art thissa a-being a-possible-a? After all, the Fat Man shoots a NUKE. Hint: Shotgun rain with radioactive properties.

This is no mere shotgun that fires a petty 3, 4, 5, 6, or 3.1415926535… bullets. No. This fires 1 WHOLE MINI-NUKE.

…Of course, we were talking about the Fat Man back there. The MIRV shoots 8 nukes. HECK YEAH. You have like a 50% percent chance of killing yourself every time you fire the [PROFANITY]ing weapon, just because of splash. Awesome sauce is awesome, shotguns, and Experimental MIRVs. I’m sure the only thing it CAN’T take out in one shot is Liberty Prime >.>

Number 1


Dramatic pause

Imperial March music here

Number 1: The Smash Ball (Super Smash Bros. Brawl; Wii)

Yes, you’re prolly thinking about how a glowy orb not much bigger than Sonic’s oversized, bobblehead-esque head can be better than

  • The Rock-It Launcher (#10)
  • The Last Word Spellcards (#9)
  • Mario’s Boots (#8) (These might have been higher up if not for the fact that they didn’t have spikes)
  • The Seeker (#7)
  • The Kasimov SNV-E99 (#6)
  • The Chandelier of Awesome (#5) (Also want spikes for this one)
  • The Portal Gun (#4)
  • The Black Hole Generator
  • The Experimental MIRV

But it is. Because it’s

  • A pair of gloves with magic pixie dust (Mario)
  • A forcefield (Luigi)
  • A pair of drums (Donkey Kong)
  • Three tanks (Fox, Falco, Wolf)
  • A electric field of hell (Pikachu)
  • An upgraded laser cannon (Samus)
  • Poke-Steroids (Short-Term) (Jigglypuff)
  • Mutation (Temporary) (Ganondorf)
  • Power Level Over 9000-ers (Lucario)
  • A Jetpack (Diddy Kong)
  • Dragon Drugs (Yoshi)
  • A racing vehicle (Blue Falcon, GO!) (Capt. Falcon)
  • A mob (King Dedede)
  • A suit of armour (Zero Suit Samus)
  • More Steroids (Longer Lasting!) (Bowser)
  • A set of ink blobs (Mr. Game and Watch)
  • A critical hit (Marth)
  • A flaming sword (Ike)
  • A Helicopter (AC 130?) with a Grenade Launcher (Snake)
  • A Pokemon Rare Candy Bundle (three quintillion, ten quadrillion, three hundred eighty five trillion, twenty-eight billion, four hundred ninety-five million, eight hundred seventy-four thousand seven hundred fifty-one Rare Candies rolled into one! *Temporary Effects) (Pokemon Trainer)
  • Two Bows with A Light Arrow For Each One (Zelda and Sheik)
  • A rocket ship (Olimar)
  • 7 “Chaos Emeralds” (Sonic, you jerk)

Etc, etc. Course, them’s not the REAL names, but STILL.

I mean, that thing is all of those things. Most notably the tanks.]

And that is an incentive of awesome.


HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 3

A highly flawed list; Part 3

Number 5: The Chandelier (You Have To Burn The Rope; PC (Flash))

What: A chandelier. Yellow. Has candles. One Hit KO’s all enemies*.

How: A relative of Mario’s shoes. Unleash the power** of this weapon through the obtaining of an unknown*** tube-like object of dark beige hue with Oxygen wasting properties****. In addition to acquiring the sacred***** object of power**, another mysterious requirement must be fulfilled before the absolute, deadly surge of power from this annihilator. Many efforts from renowned****** archaeologists have merited the discovery of a cryptic message detailing supposedly detailing the wonders of this weapon of mass destruction. Advanced******* expert******** cryptologists********* are hard at work, striving to decode the language of this message. Theories of how the Chandelier works********** have arisen recently with the finding of the message.

Why: Credits song is better than Still Alive.

*: Or enemy. **: Damage currently undefined. Order now! ***: The fire on the wall. ****: The torch which the fire on the wall is on. *****: Only sacred to worshippers of Chandelierism. ******: Not necessarily renowned. *******: Not necessarily advanced. ********: Not necessarily experts. *********: A.k.a potheads. **********: Gravity.

Number 4: The… (Uh…) Whatchamacallit… Thingamajig…? (Portal; XBox 360)

Er… what was it called again? Ummm… (*checks Google*)

What: The WCMCITAMJ, better known as the ASHPD, from the [handspasm]AKJFGHALFGUHAFVB A8G8RG;afaY8EWAGRY ARSDGU9430T GA9ERI;df’aGF IJVAHJJBVDAFN[>.<]VIDAJOSJDIVADH[/handspasm]science laboratory*, is able to make wormholes from here to there. While not exactly able to (gore-filled moment with livid description), it has proven among the best in destroying cameras**.

How: Shenanigans. Hacks. No idea.

Why: You can teleport with this thing. If you had a knife, you could just portal behind your target and start shanking. Also, you can pick up really heavy cubes with this thing.

*: Aperture Science Laboratories. **: There’s an XBox achievement for destroying every camera on every level. A camera gets destroyed by being shot by one of your portals.

Still more s**t is a-coming.

V-NEW 3: 7+13=28


28 vacuums a week, that’s a lot of vacuums to sell.

Did you ever go to school stupid? Yes, and I’ve come out the same way.

*stares at chalkboard* You’re hired.


A guy redefines the definition of epic win. Well, actually, a guy is being hired to be “something, i don’t actually know”. He gets a simple math question wrong, however, the interviewer tells him to prove it on the chalk board. He pwns the interviewers face 3 times. After that, he gets hired.


Length: Nice and short, if he could do subtraction, it would be even better though. 4/5
Humour: Whole thing is hilarious, makes you just stare at the screen. 5/5
Acting Skills:  Er… Just another category thrown in. I guess the interviewer is very good at pushing the other guy? 4/5
Plot: Sorta random, IMO. It works though. 3/5

HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 2

Another list. This part has weapons 8 and 7.

Number 8: Footwear (Mario Series)

What: Shoes. >.>

How: Gravity. >.>

Why: You can kill anything in Mario games with a jump. Except for spiky enemies and Boos.Kills bricks. Kills Goombas, smashes Koopas, kicks their shells around. Flattens buttons, somehow makes him wall jump efficiently, etc. Are those normal boots?!?

Number 7 &6: The Seeker and the Kasimov SNV-E99 (Singularity; XBox 360, PS3, PC)

The Seeker

What: The Seeker fires explosive rounds. Pity it’s not automatic. You’re probably thinking at this point: “WHAT?!?!? A LOT OF WEAPONS HAVE EXPLODERING ROUDNZ ADN U PIKKED THS SHT!?!?! ITS NOTT EVNE AUTOMATIC>!!?1!?!!1111/!?!” First of all, there is no need to think in capital letters (thanks Dave Barry for the joke) and poor spelling.

How: Play the game and you’ll eventually see it. Iunno how it works, but it has something to do with E99, which does random stuff. This random stuff includes creating the freaking Flood (y’know, from Halo), creating Time Kufc-like situations in which TIME GETS SCREWED UP AND THE FUTURE GETS CHANGED BY TIIIIIIIIME TRAVEL, and making awesome weapons.

Why: You can steer the bullets. AWESOME SAUCE. These are like horizontal PREDATOR MISSILES (YES YES YES BOOM), except you get more of them. Granted, they lack the splash damage radius of said Predators, but they remain OHKOs against regular grunts.

The Kasimov SNV-E99

What: Your (almost) standard sniper rifle. Powerful…

How: More E99 shenanigans. Otherwise your standard sniper rifle.

Why: You can SLOW TIME when you use the scope. How awesome is that? It also happens to OHKO grunts.

Ok, I put in three weapons when I said I’d put two. I lied. Sue me. More parts coming in the future.

HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 1

Because I like making up abbreviations, this is a “HELL-O”. I was thinking “HELL”, but this, and possible other installments may not fully pertain to elements of Subterranean Animism or Phantasmagoria of Flower View or [Big Word] of  the [Obscure Adjective], etc.

As mentioned in the title that happens to be in font upwards of twice the size of this font, this HELL-O is about Awesome Weaponry. By the way, this is a top ten. Awesomeness is not necessarily judged by destructive power. Also, as I have not played every game in existence, there will be better weapons. Also, I am aware that people will not agree with me on all counts.

Number 10: The Rock-It Launcher (Fallout 3; PC, Xbox 360, PS3)

What: The Rock-It Launcher is not a rocket launcher. It is a miscellaneous-junk-that-is-otherwise-useless launcher. The RIL can be loaded with any items in the “Miscellaneous” category of your inventory. Items shot can be picked up, and will arc.

How: Various schematics (four or five of them) for this awesome weapon can be found throughout Washington, D.C. You can buy one of these schematics from Moira Brown in Megaton, although it might cost you a fair amount of caps. You can do this even if you blow up Megaton, because Moira Brown will STILL BE ALIVE, although she’ll be a ghoul.

Why: The creativity of this weapon is above and beyond. It also provides the developer with an excuse to create the ability to pick up random crap and SHOOT IT AT A FOREIGN HEAD IN VATS. For awesomeness, I personally think that death by high-speed teddy bear would really suck, because those hurt. Or plunger. Or garden gnome… I was personally thinking of shooting one of those conductors, or maybe those pilot lights…

Number ⑨: Last Word Spell Cards (Touhou Project 8: Imperishable Night [Touhou Eiyashou]; PC)

What: Danmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmaku. Times THREE HUNDRED OR MORE. One-hit KO danmaku! OH YEAH! Aside from that, Last Word spell cards can only be played in Spell Practice mode. There is a spellcard for each character (includes Ex-Keine).

How: Unlockable by completing certain criteria. Only 5-6 are easy to unlock, and none of them are too easy at all to dodge.

Why: I can’t beat any of the 4 that I’ve unlocked: Unseasonal Bug Storm (Wriggle), Blind Nightbird (Mystia), Emperor of the East (Keine), and Lunatic Red Eyes (Reisen). Mostly because I suck.

I’ll present number 8 and 7 in Part 2.