[edit note: Mushy will probably kill me for doing that part about inviting flare to do posts bcuz we cant handle it D:
OH SHIT MUSHY’S COMPUTERS WENT DOWN! Since houraiguy posts like every hundred years and abd doesn’t post until 2011, it’s seriously all up to me…WHICH I CANT DO D:
So I have come up with an amazingly genius plan THAT HAS NOT BEEN CHECKED WITH MUSHY SINCE I CANT.
WE’LL INVITE -FLAREDARKNIGHT- TO HELP, BECAUSE HE/SHE (iunno what) IS A AWESOME FAN.
Since we’re all pretty desperate now, we’ll invite flare (if he/she accepts) to do some posts, and because i’m not a mod, I can’t actually let him come in; only Mushy can, but he’s not here. -.-
So flare, just send your posts to email@example.com, and I’ll post the….
Lol I’m typing this post and suddenly I get a notification saying mushy posted with the title (I’m back!) >_> Lulz sorry to freak out flare for no reason now.
Anyways, now that we don’t have to worry about that, we can move on.
The meme “SHOOP DA WHOOP”, or “IMA FIRING MAH LAZER” is another awesome meme. It originated on 4chan (just like Pedo Bear), and originally looked like this
It was a lazer fired my THE EVIL DBZ ANTAGONIST CELL (who fired his lazer at GOKU)
At the time, it’s spread around the world was still quite minimal. BUT THEN, THERE CAME THE LAZER COLLECTION!
This is how the meme spread. After that, Shoop da Whoop has spread to many different formats, such as the DR.OCTOGONAPUS you just saw, and…
Oh yeah, and here’s the one made my DFear. Have fun, and bye.
You guys are so awesome, so I’m going to continue this series
Nappa: Vegeta, what does the scanner say about his power level?!
Vegeta: IT’S OVER 9000!!!
Nappa: WHAT 9000?!
Classical. Just classical. I seriously used this meme so much last year that if I used it any more, I’d get OVER 9000 PEOPLE TRY TO KILL ME! (Lesson Number 9000! on how to incorporate this meme into seriously anything) Honestly, I could respond in every single way you could imagine with “OVER 9000!!!” Favourite Meme, period.
Person: Hey YuChoy
Person: How much homework do we have?
YUCHOY: OVER 9000!!!
Person: What chapter of _____ manga are you on?
It takes practice to be so pro with this meme, and when you do I recommend learning how to run away from people threatening to pound you.
In other words, OVER 9000 means that a large amount of something, and for people who don’t know where it’s from, it’s from this intriguing anime with amazing fighting scenes >_>
Hint hint: The mainthing everything in that anime share in common; one word: CONSTIPATION! Still don’t know? Fine, here.
And this even more messed up remix:
AND IF YOU STILL DON’T GET IT, GOKU FIRED HIS LAZER (next meme) AND VEGETA WAS LIKE “ITS OVER 9000!” (it’s from DBZ, you people)
Life Tip: Use the meme OVER 9000 as much as you can, and you will succeed in life…a one in OVER 9000 POSSIBILITY THAT IS!!! (har har har*shot*)
FUN FACT: The Japanese Translations were originally supposed to be OVER 8000, with not so much enthusiasm. 8000 seems awkward to say.
ANOTHER FUN FACT: Yesterday the pedo post (pedo post?) got 14 views, second to Durarara x Black Lagoon. Did I attract pedos to o-new? (DUN DUN)
This post is like extremely unstructured (since when were any posts structured?)Bye bye guys, and in response to drawing pedophiles to O-New, here’s something to feed those strange pedos
ITS PEDO BEAR!!! Pedo Bear originated from 2chan, Japan’s popular imageboard (inspired 4chan to be made). It was originally supposed to be “Safety Bear”, but because it got onto 4chan in 2004, people were like “Let’s turn safety into pedophile!!!” That’s just how demented the internet is these days :D
Pedo Bear is just, awesome. He started off with a catchphrase”is dat sum loli”, but because makes no sense, it faded away.
I have no idea why Pedo Bear is so popular, but I guess people just like associating cute furry stuff with demented, creepy stuff, like this
You see? You have a cute little chipmunk, and then you get people turning it into the antagonist of Austin Power. That just shows how strange the mind of people work nowadays. (Should I review Dramatic Chipmunk next? Or something else? Comment and tell me plz)
Like all other perverted memes, it has a ton of Photoshopped images, like this montage
Hooray, I have wasted your time. Mission accomplished har har har. Obviously this one isn’t as awesome as “All your Base are Belong to Us” so why not add some more Engrish? (cuz you all love it so much =D)
You see? You see how Engrish makes everyone happy? So yeah, I’ll come up with a more interesting meme next, so have fun browsing O-New. Bye.
Since I have nothing better to do, why not educate the viewers of this blog (if there are any) on internet memes? But like, it’s really because I’m bored and have nothing better to do (HURRRRR BLACK OPS LIKE A CRAZED ADDICTION MANZ)
To start it off, we have “CATS: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”
And here’s the video of that creepy cyborg cliche guy saying it
WTH is a zig? Is it like a escape pod modified for war or something? A zig? lol sounds stupid.
In addition, here’s a tribute video
Har har har worldwide riot saying “ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US”
“ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US” came from a japanese (of course its japanese) game called “Zero Wings”, published in 1989 by Toaplan. First of all, the gameplay itself is crap, so it didn’t get famous because of that. It got famous because of the poor translations from Japanese to English, creating phrases like “Somebody set us up the bomb” and “You have no chance to survive make your time”. And let’s not forget “For great justice” ZOMG I just realized that epic phrase was from this crappy game. Kinda reminds me of chinglish, or engrish.
Oh yeah here’s a funnier one
After seeing all this, you must think “ARE WE ALL GOING TO SUFFER FROM FAIL GRAMMAR IN THE FUTURE?” According to Toeplan, yes we are. Yes we are, and for great justice too.
And because I seriously feel like it, I’m going to spaz out a whole bunch of ridiculous pics of Engrish. Bye ;-)
Alright enough stupidity if you want more go to the link k bai have a nice life, and remember, he’s after you…
One, this is only one picture.
Two, it’s not monochrome. But grey would be a poor choice for the lines D:
In this post, we’ll be comparing the pistols. In other words, the mid-range weapons.
How do pistols get all these weird names? There’s like random numbers in the name just to make it sound cooler. The Sig Sauer has nothing at all to do with the number 226. It’s probably to intimidate the enemy. I have this really big newspaper sword but I could call it the KRN-680-Rocket-Chainsaw-Machine gun-Sword, that would be intimidating, right?
In order to test the pistols, the team has created this sort of restaurant, there are two terrorists, one is holding a hostage, one is going to ambush you. You have to destroy the lights then take out the terrorists as fast as you can without causing any collateral damage.
The Navy SEAL’s took 13 seconds to complete the job while the Commando’s took 20. The SEAL’s finished the job pretty well, they didn’t have much problem completing the job. The Commandos, had some trouble taking out the lights, however, when the surprise terrorist came out, he landed 3 shots to the heart instantly. Since these are both guns, the real difference can only be told by how fast the job was completed. And because the SEAL’s were faster, they win this round.
Since it’s August, my exams are all finished. Because of this, I turned on the machine that has been dormant for around a month now, the TV. Since I rarely watch anything, I browsed through the channels to see what I could find. There was this interesting show called “The Deadliest Warrior”.
In this show, they take two warriors. For the episode I watched, it was Navy SEALs against Israeli Commandos. For the majority of the show, they would compare each other’s weapons. Then, they would have the showdown part where they run a simulation battle 1000 times to see who is the deadliest warrior.
Each team’s weapons…
Explosives Boom, headshot! Everybody loves explosives!
Navy Seals- C4
Although I hear about it a lot, I’ve never actually seen it in action. It’s a plastic bomb, usually used for blowing up ships. This thing is super stable, you can freaking light it on fire and it won’t blow up. It looks like butter, it can’t be molded though D: To test this weapon, they have to swim underwater, then attach it to a boat, then BLOW IT UP! While swimming underwater, they use a rebreather, a device that allows you to breathe without creating air bubbles. Pictures of the test:
Israeli Commandos-Semtex Explosive
Fun to play with, not to eat. This explosive is freaking epic. It’s basically an explosive that’s so light, you can barely feel it. Also, you can mold it into any shape you want. Since it has these two properties, I could hide some in Mushy’s laptop, then while he’ watching anime, I could activate it! This explosive was actually used to assassinate some important guy by putting it in his cellphone, when he answered it, his head fell off.
3 pounds of this stuff can take down a two-story building, no problem. When I saw this for the first time, I’m just like O_o
Israeli Commandos win this one.
To be continued…
Alright, this is a game called Colour Theory. When I first read the instructions, I was like, holy crap, what is this? After, I decided to try playing it. The game came to me pretty easily, there were two types of levels. Levels that required skill and levels that required intellect. On the first level, you should encounter an image similar to this. Only without that many rectrangles. Anyways, this is an awesome game, go play it.
Graphics: Really simple, pixel pack actually
Replayability: There is no point, not even the tiniest bit
Gameplay: Some of the levels are purely based on skill, you can spend 20 minutes continuously doing a level, those levels are really annoying, other than that, it’s pretty fun
Concept: It’s new. Like awesome new. Like O-new. I like it.
~Laziness prevails, I’m too lazy to create the rest of this post~
The truth is, zero has zero purpose. (Recently, zero’s purpose being within itself has caused a tear in the space time continueum of earth’s atmosphere, unleashing an army of deranged lepricons with light sabers) Some argue that Zero’s purpose is in fact to prevent anarchy in the world where as others argue that its purpose is to cause anarchy in the world.
Zero = Anarchy: Those that believe the number zero is to create anarchy amongst the world are known as Crackpots. None of their points have ever been validated, because nobody gives a damn about what a crackpot has to say. Crackpots often point out that Zero is responsible for 1000’s of suicides each year. Their research shows that these suicides are often commited by teenagers struggling with the concept of there being nothing where there once was something.
Additionally, Crackpot research shows that 21% of Zero Suicides are by middle aged women who never settled down to have children and as a result have very saggy Zeros between their legs which take on the image of a Walrus on crack. Of course, none of this research can be validated because, quite frankly, who would listen to a Crackpot? If you see one, do both it and the world a favor by killing it before it molasts a lamp without a lightbulb with the switch on. (Which nobody wants to see). The only way to kill a Crackpot is with a stake knife and chokery using an arcade token.
Zero = Peace: People that believe Zero’s purpose is to keep the peace are called Zero Peace Fanatics. The General Public has always been highly confused by this name, believing that Zero Peace Fanatics are obsessed worshipers of religious fruit and wish to rain used condems upon the earth to create global terror. (Most people ignore these accusations and simply state that Zero Peace Fanatics are ‘just a global threat.’ Zero Peace Fanatics are in fact, very peaceful people with absolutely no lives. They live at home eating jelly beans and their only social activity is getting together with penguins to have apple dunking games. What all this has to do with anything is still a mystery. The Zero Peace Fanatics hope that one day we will all find Zero in our destinies and be at peace with everything. Zero Peace Fanatics believe that Apocalypse Zero was a God-like prophet sent by a giant Zero shaped warp storm located near the ‘dwarf planet’ Pluto [AKA: Circularly challenged sphere].
In the beginning there was something. That something being absolutely nothing. Therefore, Zero has existed since the beginning. Zero’s existence within a state of non-existence caused the big bang. Man began life in the ancient lands of Mesabeginia. Humans were very simple creatures with very complex psychological problems concerning the existence from non-existence that would cause religious warfare to rage on for thousands of years.
Men were very competative by nature and would often have competitions over how yellow a banana was, rock collections, and number of tetris games won. These competitions were very important to the men, however they had no way of keeping records because they were unaware of numbers.
After many great wars and complete anihalations of a variety of cultures a solution was discovered. Competative records could be kept on the amount of fingers people held up. Highly honored people known as Dumba**es would witness an important competition and keep record of the scores on their fingers. They would continue to hold their fingers up as long as the winning competitor continued to pay a weekly fee of tubby custard. Over time, each finger (and thumb) was given a name. The first finger was named One(Wan) after a very lonely Chinese virgin who lived in the mountains. Two(Tew) was named after a couple of side by side turds with faces drawn in them. Three, four, five, six were just random baby names pulled from a lottery and seven, eight, nine were chosen in rememberance of the horrible case of cannobolism when a very strange and hungry man named Seven ate an ugly woman named Nine. Ten was actually called Ben after a very famous general’s son, but Oscar Wilde changed it to Ten because Hitler kept getting laughed at trying to say, ‘I vant to drop Ben Bombs!!!’
Over time, the losers of very humilating competitions would sneak into the houses of the Dumbasses and cut off their fingers so that there would be no proof of any record. (Rather bizarly, anyone who tried to bribe between 10 000 BC and 2000 BC would burst into flames) Dumba**es who’d had their fingers cut off would often say, “I have no fingers” or “The count of my fingers is none”, but people went into a frenzy of anarchy because there could not possibly be a number for having no number. Tens of thousands of wars were fought over the holy grail which supposadly contained the almighty ‘!number without a number!’ At last an unknown man named Apocalypse Zero came along and stopped what is now known as the Apocalypse of Zero. He claimed that this number without a number was in fact, Zero (named after himself) which he stated as either the loss of everything or the gain of nothing. (Or for the mathamatically challenged: The rim of an oval next to a 1) But in all seriousness, 0 was invented in India. So yeah, thanks.
Zero is the value of nothing, but zero is not nothing, because the value of nothing is the value of something which means that nothing is something and something can’t be nothing without being non-existent which is imposible without the ability to un-become, which of course does not mean destroy, because to destroy is to make something into nothing and we’ve already gone over why something can’t be nothing since nothing is something. You have just witnessed the number zero, as in, you have zero clue as to what you just read and never will, because the amount of facts in that statement are Zero.
Zero is the value of nothing, although Zero is not equal to non-existence, because zero most certainly does exist despite the fact that it does absolutely nothing to contribute to society. There have been many attempts by Christian groups, AA, and the Back on your Feet Foundation to get Zero back into the working world so that it can make something of itself and accomplish something asides from nothing.
The shape of the number zero was decided by the Zero Appearence competition held by Jesus Christ when he got bored of walking on water and decided to do something just as equally pointless, but even more awsome. The winner was a retarded talking carrot who simply submitted an oval with the center cut out of it.
Zero resides between negative one and postive one.
Zero is also a place holder. It will hold people’s place in line ups if they have to go pee. Unfortunately, reserving your spot with a worthless number is not very effective.
Quite remarkably, Zero’s presence to the right of any number makes it worth 10 times as much. (Including the number ten itself) Therefore, the fact of reality is that as long as you have something (no matter how small and near valueless it is) the presence of lots and lots of worthless items next to it increases the worth. For instance, a pen might not be worth much by itself, but put a melted thimble, a pile of ashes and a bird without wings next to it and suddenly you’ve got a priceless model of the earth and its populance in 20 years.
“Return of the freaking evil bamboo forest, Take 1”
“21345414667 grazes and 1 point later”
“Not the unbeatable spellcard! NOOOOO”
Note: It’s not usually that big >.>
“Er… Should I pick Yes… or Yes…? WHERES MAH KCUFING NO BUTTON”
Not based on a true story.
Someone set us up the bomb
This is what happens when you have no bombs to be “set us upped“
I’m running out of ideas~ ‘~’
THIS IS THE LAST PART OF THIS LIST HAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE FREED FROM THE PUNY SHACKLES OF RESPONSIBILITY
Number 3: The Black Hole Generator (HeliAttack 3; PC (Flash))
What: This huge-*** gun does not shoot bullets. It does not shoot missiles, bullets, lasers, boomerang blades, corrosive goo, sparks, or shotgun shells. No. See “Why”.
How: Something along the lines of what makes pretty much every freaking gun work. HAXSHENANIGANSANDEVERYTHING. Who really cares, though? IT’S AWESOME.
Why: It shoots black holes. This is no microscopic LHC black hole producer. This makes BLACK HOLES. This kills anything on screen. Excludes you. Screen shake added! This black hole is like 5 yous tall. IT RIPS THROUGH HELICOPTERS LIKE BUTTER KNIFES THROUGH BUTTER.
SON OF A BLEEPING BLEEP FEST
Actually, the BHG does not create all the bullets, arrows, or grenades in that picture. Those were there just for show. The ominous black shadows in the middle of all this is a BLACK HOLE that will ABSORB all those loverly things into it, thus removing all the lag. The arrows specifically prove that that guy is EIRIN
Numeros 2: The Experimental MIRV (Fallout 3; PC, XBox 360, PS3)
Yeah, we already did a post with a weapon from FO3.
[grand, epic speech]
TO HELL WITH RULES
FOR TONIGHT I MAKE AN EXCEPTION TO REPETITION RESTRICTIONS
TONIGHT, SPARTANS, WE DINE IN HELL IN THIS HELL-O WHILE EATING JELL-O
Because this is awesome. Also, to hell with the “Why:” and “What:” and “How:” columns.
Earlier in this game, you will occasionally find a “Fat Man” off somewhat tough enemies. Remember Hiroshima? Yes, references are great UNLESS THEY’RE HISTORICAL in which case [hyena] THEY’RE HYSTERICAL [/squeaking]. Even earlier from that point, you will notice items referred to as “Mini-Nukes”. Also, these items are quizzically organized in the “Ammunition” category. You may, at this point, wonder what these ammunition items are for, excluding selling (these are rare and sell for a LOT). That is where the Fat Man does. It shoots these mini-nukes. To hell with this “mini-” prefix, these things make pretty big explodershuns. AND THEY HURT. The only problems with M-Ns:
1. They are rare,
2. They can hurt you with their insane splash radii, and
3. They are not as big as the nuke in Megaton, which is taller AND fatter than YOU (you can’t get fat >.>).
Because of 1., M-Ns run out quickly.
And then the E-MIRV comes in.
The E-MIRV is not so mere as to be able to be found off mere mortal enemies. No, you must (practically) go through HELL (not the Deathclaw Sanctuary, where you can find medic power armour) to find 5 “Keller Family Transcripts”, and then venture through this weird building for a long time until you reach a freaking terminal that will only let you past with the passwords in the transcripts… AND THEN YOU FINALLY GET THE MIRV (with bonus nukes!)
What is different from the Fat Man and the Experimental MIRV? For a start, the E-MIRV is more powerful. How art thissa a-being a-possible-a? After all, the Fat Man shoots a NUKE. Hint: Shotgun rain with radioactive properties.
This is no mere shotgun that fires a petty 3, 4, 5, 6, or 3.1415926535… bullets. No. This fires 1 WHOLE MINI-NUKE.
…Of course, we were talking about the Fat Man back there. The MIRV shoots 8 nukes. HECK YEAH. You have like a 50% percent chance of killing yourself every time you fire the [PROFANITY]ing weapon, just because of splash. Awesome sauce is awesome, shotguns, and Experimental MIRVs. I’m sure the only thing it CAN’T take out in one shot is Liberty Prime >.>
Imperial March music here
Number 1: The Smash Ball (Super Smash Bros. Brawl; Wii)
Yes, you’re prolly thinking about how a glowy orb not much bigger than Sonic’s oversized, bobblehead-esque head can be better than
- The Rock-It Launcher (#10)
- The Last Word Spellcards (#9)
- Mario’s Boots (#8) (These might have been higher up if not for the fact that they didn’t have spikes)
- The Seeker (#7)
- The Kasimov SNV-E99 (#6)
- The Chandelier of Awesome (#5) (Also want spikes for this one)
- The Portal Gun (#4)
- The Black Hole Generator
- The Experimental MIRV
But it is. Because it’s
- A pair of gloves with magic pixie dust (Mario)
- A forcefield (Luigi)
- A pair of drums (Donkey Kong)
- Three tanks (Fox, Falco, Wolf)
- A electric field of hell (Pikachu)
- An upgraded laser cannon (Samus)
- Poke-Steroids (Short-Term) (Jigglypuff)
- Mutation (Temporary) (Ganondorf)
- Power Level Over 9000-ers (Lucario)
- A Jetpack (Diddy Kong)
- Dragon Drugs (Yoshi)
- A racing vehicle (Blue Falcon, GO!) (Capt. Falcon)
- A mob (King Dedede)
- A suit of armour (Zero Suit Samus)
- More Steroids (Longer Lasting!) (Bowser)
- A set of ink blobs (Mr. Game and Watch)
- A critical hit (Marth)
- A flaming sword (Ike)
- A Helicopter (AC 130?) with a Grenade Launcher (Snake)
- A Pokemon Rare Candy Bundle (three quintillion, ten quadrillion, three hundred eighty five trillion, twenty-eight billion, four hundred ninety-five million, eight hundred seventy-four thousand seven hundred fifty-one Rare Candies rolled into one! *Temporary Effects) (Pokemon Trainer)
- Two Bows with A Light Arrow For Each One (Zelda and Sheik)
- A rocket ship (Olimar)
- 7 “Chaos Emeralds” (Sonic, you jerk)
Etc, etc. Course, them’s not the REAL names, but STILL.
I mean, that thing is all of those things. Most notably the tanks.]
And that is an incentive of awesome.
A highly flawed list; Part 3
Number 5: The Chandelier (You Have To Burn The Rope; PC (Flash))
What: A chandelier. Yellow. Has candles. One Hit KO’s all enemies*.
How: A relative of Mario’s shoes. Unleash the power** of this weapon through the obtaining of an unknown*** tube-like object of dark beige hue with Oxygen wasting properties****. In addition to acquiring the sacred***** object of power**, another mysterious requirement must be fulfilled before the absolute, deadly surge of power from this annihilator. Many efforts from renowned****** archaeologists have merited the discovery of a cryptic message detailing supposedly detailing the wonders of this weapon of mass destruction. Advanced******* expert******** cryptologists********* are hard at work, striving to decode the language of this message. Theories of how the Chandelier works********** have arisen recently with the finding of the message.
Why: Credits song is better than Still Alive.
*: Or enemy. **: Damage currently undefined. Order now! ***: The fire on the wall. ****: The torch which the fire on the wall is on. *****: Only sacred to worshippers of Chandelierism. ******: Not necessarily renowned. *******: Not necessarily advanced. ********: Not necessarily experts. *********: A.k.a potheads. **********: Gravity.
Number 4: The… (Uh…) Whatchamacallit… Thingamajig…? (Portal; XBox 360)
Er… what was it called again? Ummm… (*checks Google*)
What: The WCMCITAMJ, better known as the ASHPD, from the [handspasm]AKJFGHALFGUHAFVB A8G8RG;afaY8EWAGRY ARSDGU9430T GA9ERI;df’aGF IJVAHJJBVDAFN[>.<]VIDAJOSJDIVADH[/handspasm]science laboratory*, is able to make wormholes from here to there. While not exactly able to (gore-filled moment with livid description), it has proven among the best in destroying cameras**.
How: Shenanigans. Hacks. No idea.
Why: You can teleport with this thing. If you had a knife, you could just portal behind your target and start shanking. Also, you can pick up really heavy cubes with this thing.
*: Aperture Science Laboratories. **: There’s an XBox achievement for destroying every camera on every level. A camera gets destroyed by being shot by one of your portals.
Still more s**t is a-coming.
28 vacuums a week, that’s a lot of vacuums to sell.
Did you ever go to school stupid? Yes, and I’ve come out the same way.
*stares at chalkboard* You’re hired.
A guy redefines the definition of epic win. Well, actually, a guy is being hired to be “something, i don’t actually know”. He gets a simple math question wrong, however, the interviewer tells him to prove it on the chalk board. He pwns the interviewers face 3 times. After that, he gets hired.
Length: Nice and short, if he could do subtraction, it would be even better though. 4/5
Humour: Whole thing is hilarious, makes you just stare at the screen. 5/5
Acting Skills: Er… Just another category thrown in. I guess the interviewer is very good at pushing the other guy? 4/5
Plot: Sorta random, IMO. It works though. 3/5
Another list. This part has weapons 8 and 7.
Number 8: Footwear (Mario Series)
What: Shoes. >.>
How: Gravity. >.>
Why: You can kill anything in Mario games with a jump. Except for spiky enemies and Boos.Kills bricks. Kills Goombas, smashes Koopas, kicks their shells around. Flattens buttons, somehow makes him wall jump efficiently, etc. Are those normal boots?!?
Number 7 &6: The Seeker and the Kasimov SNV-E99 (Singularity; XBox 360, PS3, PC)
What: The Seeker fires explosive rounds. Pity it’s not automatic. You’re probably thinking at this point: “WHAT?!?!? A LOT OF WEAPONS HAVE EXPLODERING ROUDNZ ADN U PIKKED THS SHT!?!?! ITS NOTT EVNE AUTOMATIC>!!?1!?!!1111/!?!” First of all, there is no need to think in capital letters (thanks Dave Barry for the joke) and poor spelling.
How: Play the game and you’ll eventually see it. Iunno how it works, but it has something to do with E99, which does random stuff. This random stuff includes creating the freaking Flood (y’know, from Halo), creating Time Kufc-like situations in which TIME GETS SCREWED UP AND THE FUTURE GETS CHANGED BY TIIIIIIIIME TRAVEL, and making awesome weapons.
Why: You can steer the bullets. AWESOME SAUCE. These are like horizontal PREDATOR MISSILES (YES YES YES BOOM), except you get more of them. Granted, they lack the splash damage radius of said Predators, but they remain OHKOs against regular grunts.
The Kasimov SNV-E99
What: Your (almost) standard sniper rifle. Powerful…
How: More E99 shenanigans. Otherwise your standard sniper rifle.
Why: You can SLOW TIME when you use the scope. How awesome is that? It also happens to OHKO grunts.
Ok, I put in three weapons when I said I’d put two. I lied. Sue me. More parts coming in the future.
Because I like making up abbreviations, this is a “HELL-O”. I was thinking “HELL”, but this, and possible other installments may not fully pertain to elements of Subterranean Animism or Phantasmagoria of Flower View or [Big Word] of the [Obscure Adjective], etc.
As mentioned in the title that happens to be in font upwards of twice the size of this font, this HELL-O is about Awesome Weaponry. By the way, this is a top ten. Awesomeness is not necessarily judged by destructive power. Also, as I have not played every game in existence, there will be better weapons. Also, I am aware that people will not agree with me on all counts.
Number 10: The Rock-It Launcher (Fallout 3; PC, Xbox 360, PS3)
What: The Rock-It Launcher is not a rocket launcher. It is a miscellaneous-junk-that-is-otherwise-useless launcher. The RIL can be loaded with any items in the “Miscellaneous” category of your inventory. Items shot can be picked up, and will arc.
How: Various schematics (four or five of them) for this awesome weapon can be found throughout Washington, D.C. You can buy one of these schematics from Moira Brown in Megaton, although it might cost you a fair amount of caps. You can do this even if you blow up Megaton, because Moira Brown will STILL BE ALIVE, although she’ll be a ghoul.
Why: The creativity of this weapon is above and beyond. It also provides the developer with an excuse to create the ability to pick up random crap and SHOOT IT AT A FOREIGN HEAD IN VATS. For awesomeness, I personally think that death by high-speed teddy bear would really suck, because those hurt. Or plunger. Or garden gnome… I was personally thinking of shooting one of those conductors, or maybe those pilot lights…
Number ⑨: Last Word Spell Cards (Touhou Project 8: Imperishable Night [Touhou Eiyashou]; PC)
What: Danmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmaku. Times THREE HUNDRED OR MORE. One-hit KO danmaku! OH YEAH! Aside from that, Last Word spell cards can only be played in Spell Practice mode. There is a spellcard for each character (includes Ex-Keine).
How: Unlockable by completing certain criteria. Only 5-6 are easy to unlock, and none of them are too easy at all to dodge.
Why: I can’t beat any of the 4 that I’ve unlocked: Unseasonal Bug Storm (Wriggle), Blind Nightbird (Mystia), Emperor of the East (Keine), and Lunatic Red Eyes (Reisen). Mostly because I suck.
I’ll present number 8 and 7 in Part 2.