So, I was up all night (that is to say, until 9:00) doing my science project (that is to say, watching random anime that aired two months ago). Thus, this post is late, tardy, belated, unpunctual, delayed, not on time, etc.
There’s no ‘we’ in ‘O-New’»
“So who’s looking after you, You?”
I was just chillin’ around with my bro,
Took the whole day and so there’s no post,
It may not be on time,
But at least it has rhymes,
A nice end to this ridiculous show.
But now it’s over, the end of Ben-To.
I am the maverick of limericks»
Continuing my spree of rewriting history (it rhymes just like a tree that recently learned to speak), I have written a post on Flying Witch, a manga oneshot. This would’ve been a simple link if the post were a simple post, but NOPE – the post is not actually about a manga oneshot, and nor is it about flying witches! Care to find out more? Then read the post, and give me DOUBLE the traffic I usually get today, even though 93% of the traffic I get on any given day is from people searching pedo bear, pedo bär, or pedo baer.
What I’m trying to say, is:
el choque español»
What? This post wasn’t late! What ever are you talking about? You’re just jealous of my WINNING SMILE.
In fact, because this post is going to be so short, here’s another post on THE GREAT MERCHANT KIM MANDUK. Where do you think Ben-To gets all its food from? Obviously not from, hah, a SUPERMARKET. They actually get all their food from an EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY KOREAN MERCHANT because they’re cool like that.
And I mean cool. Cause, like Yarizui has a cold, right? And cold things are… cool. GET IT
Perhaps ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ is too lengthy a designation for a show of such length. Perhaps, it is ‘tl;dw’ – ‘terribly lengthy; [a] disaster [to] write’, or ‘tiredly laborious; describe [it to me without] words’? Thankfully, I, the great master of simplicity, shortening, and pastries, have just the innovative solution you need to cure yourself from ‘the laziness [of] death wishes’!
Is ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ a disaster to write? Write no more, for we shall relieve you of your upper limbs in some time [if] at all! In the rare occurrence that our timely services are insufficient, we have exercised our great mental capabilities to manufacture a shorter, more efficient, and unique acronym for ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ Instead of numerous other ineffectual abbreviations such as ‘Majikoi’, ‘Denisai’, or ‘Mawakoshi’, simply write ‘cqX7’ in place of ‘Maji de Watashi ni Koi Shinasai!’ Instead of typing all thirty-two characters, you need only express four.
Was that not what you were looking for? Were you hoping I to describe cqX7 without words, for watching cqX7 was tiredly laborious? You must be a senile old fool to tire from such a terse expedition. Nevertheless, O-New values every single or married senile old fool that visits our senile, old, foolish site. Worry not, senile old fools! Behold! A picture suffices for more than nine hundred and eighty-two words:
cqX7 stands for ‘cats quietly xylophone 72’»
I keep on getting ‘pedo bär’ as my top search term every day. I mean, at least it’s not ‘pedo bear’ (which, thankfully, has fallen to the end of the list), but… really? I certainly wouldn’t want a bar to rape me. Hey, here’s a joke: A man walks into a bar. The bar is a pedo bar and rapes him. The end.
The point is in the umlaut»
C’mon, two more days until Winter vacation, I CAN DO THIS
But until then everything’s going to be late and uninspired drivel (no rapeviews for you, sorry – no rapviews, either)
Because of school, of course. It’s not like I play games or anything. Remember how I quit Kongregate? Get that silly thought out of your mind.
Phew! Here it is, finally, completely complete and edited and everything! Except for the images, which haven’t been modified in any way except for some resizing. So here it is, over seven thousand and five hundred words later, my twenty-eleven fall, anime, SECOND THOUGHTS! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *party music*
Please, don’t read this all at once. Symptoms of reading this all at once include boredom, ennui, disinterest, fatigue, indifference, apathy, lethargy, dullness, monotony, tiresomeness, and death.
Well, well, well. Turns out I couldn’t finish this in time. I’ll write the Chihayafuru, Fate/Zero, and concluding segments tomorrow.
Don’t bother reading through this mess. At the moment, it’s over 6000 words long, and, well, completely unedited – that’s right, even I haven’t read through this mess of a post. So don’t bother, and I’m not even trying to use reverse psychology on you. I’ll finish editing this tomorrow. Then, I’ll start to spam it on every single blob in the history of ever and wait did I just say blob
well here’s a blob
But at least I made a not-very-pun-thing in the title of this post! Get it? I had First Impressions, and now I have Second Thoughts! Still debating what to call the third post in this series
(the Third Coming?), cause fuck if I’m going to write 11 Half Season Reviews after being 2 months late on every single show.
Except for Horizon…»
“I think Yamato should stay in the hospital a bit longer before he goes outside.”
“Yeah, he’s definitely in no fit condition to go outside.”
“What if he catches a cold outside the hospital?”
I’M ON A ROCKET.
And here comes a record for the shortest time it took me to write an anime post, having watched the episode in question for a total of one minute and forty seconds, and spending approximately three minutes writing this post, four minutes waiting for the only image to upload, and fifteen minutes to edit this very statement. Sixteen. Minutes. Seventeen minutes.
But fear not! This post is not entirely without content, for I announce the creation of a new tag: the Kurimagane Post! This tag is for posts alike the posts Kurogane crafts, similar to this one right here; after all, it’s hard to create an informative post when you’ve only watched one minute and forty seconds of an episode!
To be honest, this is not a Kurimagane Post, as there is far too much text! A true Kurimagane Post are like these posts! They are so short, they cannot even be tagged ‘Laziness’, for mere laziness would not produce such artistic minimalism! Notice the carefully constructed phrasing of every word! Notice that I linked this link twice, and now three times! Notice the creativity and ingenuity of this shrewd portmanteau between ‘Kurogane’ and ‘Imaga Post!’
“What is an Imaga?”, you may ask.
There will be no reply.
Another late post! Argh, this keeps happening!
“You were late…”»
I recently caught a fever and/or flu compounded with a cold and/or cough and was stuck in a perpetual state of horrendous mental torture, physical discomfort, and emotional pain for approximately eighteen years and thirty-seven days, which resulted in the eventual lateness of this post. I apologize, profusely, for not finishing my homework on time.
Prof. Usely is not amused»
“You said you wouldn’t beat me to death if I died!”
Kore wa zombie desu»
National Novel Writing Mushyrulez»
For a REFRESHING change in POSTING STYLE, I shall separate this post into THREE HALVES – that is to say, this post will be ONE AND A HALF times longer than it usually is, as there are THREE HALVES in this post. Ha. Ha. Half.
Half 1: Have a Hassle
I just personally insulted an Onew (the singer-guy who is stealing every single search result for ‘O-New’) fan prawpr with speiling cannadan gramer and. I’m not actually sure how I did it, but I /think/ it went something like this:
[Onew fan follows me. She has two hundred tweets, fifty followers, and is following one thousand people.]
Onew fan: “Hello. I am a half-Japanese female who has recently immigrated to Britain, and am also a SHINee [Onew’s band name] fan. Would you please follow me back? I would appreciate the extra attention.”
Me: “are u a onew fan to”
Onew fan: “Yes, I am. I particularly enjoy his music. Are you also a fan of Korean pop music?”
Me: “no i hate all onew fans”
Onew fan: “Well, simply because you hate all Onew fans does not mean that you must be mean to all of them. You cannot say such vile words.”
Me: “im ‘murican kay i’ve fredom of speech. also i sugest u talk in propre english, if u keep talking like that ur english will becum relleh bad. juts for praktise you no cause u just come to britan rite”
Onew fan: “Do not tell me what I can or I cannot say! You are not my mother.”
Me: “well y r u folowing me anyway”
[Onew fan blocks me.]
Oh hmm this is my 700th post.
P.S. They didn’t.
With a huff and a puff they blew up the stuff in the house that was tough and they started to lust for the pigs weren’t enough to feed their disgust with the lack of food.
“I just love pork wings!”»
And that is how Kaguya fended off her suitors.
IT’S DYNAMITE YOU FUCKING IDIO-
Oh, it’s just petroleum coke»