Words Are Unlined
A NSFW fapfic, by Mushyrulez
GOOD MORNING AGENT MACKENZIE ULYSSES SVETLANA HARJOT ZDROJKOWSKI STOP
WE HAVE RECEIVED REPORTS OF AN ENORMOUS FIVE HUNDRED POUND NECKBEARD LOSER LIVING IN HIS PARENTS BASEMENT STOP HOWEVER IT IS NOT HIS SUPERFLUITY THAT IRKS US IT IS THE HORRID FANFICTION THAT HE HAS WRITTEN THAT HAS INFECTED THE HEARTS AND MINDS OF CORRUPT JAPANESE SCHOOLGIRLS WORLDWIDE STOP AND BY WORLDWIDE I MEAN IN JAPAN STOP
THANKFULLY WE HAVE ALREADY ISSUED A RESTRAINING ORDER ON HIM INTENDED TO PROHIBIT THE CONTINUED PROPAGATION OF HIS GLOPPING PROSE STOP THESE RESTRAINING ORDERS PROHIBIT HIM FROM APPROACHING WITHIN THREE METRES OF ANY TYPEWRITER OR LINED PAPER OR ANY OTHER FORM OF ELECTRONIC OR ERECTRONIC DEVICE THAT MAY ENCOURAGE HIS WRITING STOP
THUS YOUR MISSION SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT IS TO STOP HIM FROM WRITING THIS INSIPID FICTION IMMEDIATELY BY SPYING ON HIS PREMISES AND PROMPTLY ARRESTING HIM SHOULD YOU OBSERVE HIS INFRINGEMENT OF THE AFOREMENTIONED RESTRAINING ORDER STOP
AS ALWAYS SHOULD YOU OR ANY MEMBER OF YOUR IM FORCE BE CAUGHT OR KILLED THE SECRET ARES WILL EAT DONUTS WHILE LAUGHING ABOUT THE UNITED STATES NATIONAL DEBT STOP YOUR COMPUTER WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN FIVE SECONDS STOP GOOD LUCK AGENT MACKENZIE ULYSSES SVETLANA HARJOT ZDROJKOWSKI STOP
“Woah, what the well, man?!” screamed Agent Mackenzie Ulysses Svetlana Harjot Zdrojkowski incredulously at his computer monitor. “This computer stores the entire collection of the world’s CP!! What would happen to the economy if it were destroyed?! Wait… how can this self-destruct if this is a telegram delivered by mail? I mean, I just received the package from the mailman, and there’s nothing ins-”
That’s supposed to be an explosion»
“Yuru Yuri TOOT-TOOT~”
Words Are Online
A short story, by Mushyrulez
It was a light and sunny day. Birds chirped in the background, tweeters tweeted in Starbucks, and construction workers spread their filth throughout the great city, verdant with colour and mud and Indian curry. Mackenzie Ulysses Svetlana Harjot Zdrojkowski sat morosely in front of his computer, sulking while sucking on a lollipop. Unfortunately, even the poor lollipop recognized Mackenzie Ulysses Svetlana Harjot Zdrojkowski’s suckiness, and proceeded to fall gracefully from his lips like a bulldozer as he gaped in shock at the title plastered in front of his computer in bright, glaring Comic Sans MS.
“Dot Hack Slash Slash… Ragnarok Online?”
‘Maplestory’ is taboo at O-New»
And it ends.
I was about to post a 4000-word essay about Marika’s callous disregard of ancient Sea of the Morningstar culture, or about the failings of electronics and androids in a post-FTL-drive universe, or about the political drive for mercenary coalitions to protect Marika’s Letter of Marque, or about the inherent hypocrisy and ironic stupidity in Mouretsu Pirates’s anime execution, and then I realized…
..since this is the last episode, this is my last chance to talk about Mouretsu Pirates.
So why not talk about everything? No, that doesn’t mean I’ll post a 16000-word post (read my winter anime previews for a 12000-word post). Instead… what about a story?
It was a dark and stormy night. Unnamed-director-of-More-Sue-Pirates-who-is-most-definitely-not-Sato-Tatsuo-because-Sato-Tatsuo-directed-Mouretsu-Pirates, who shall hereafter be referred to as ‘Mackenzie Ulysses Svetlana Harjot Zdrojkowski’ to conserve space, lay dead at his desk. The television set behind him flickered feebly, rings of static fuzzing the display as a shrill voice cried imperceptibly the onset of the fourteenth episode of Mouretsu Pirates:
“It’s time for some piracy!”
The assassin looked over his work, but thought it ill-advised to continue deliberation. Shoving his fat ass through the open window, he sneaked off noisily in the night. In his sneakers.
The joke is that Barbaloosa is a loser. Then I realized that wasn’t much of a joke but I couldn’t be arsed to re-rewatch the episode. This caption has been expertly placed as stark contrast to the preceding paragraph.
Your mom’s a mooser»
First of all, let me make things clear.
You guys all suck.
Nobody has joined my quest to enlighten the world of the true nature of ~sunglasses~.
Do not worry. I will return next season, stronger than ever, with more sun and more glasses and more tsu pirates. Actually, lesstsu pirates because Mouretsu Pirates is ending next episode. I can’t let this chance slip away, so I will use this post to finally persuade all you ignorant plebeians of the wondrous abilities of ~sunglasses~.
Today, I will be having a good ol’ fashioned healthy friendly Skype chat with my good pal @NanoPulp. It may or may not be about Mouretsu Pirates, and I may or may not sound absolutely retarded. P.S. All these images are either a) ironic b) related to the discussion or c) dick jokes.
[10:29:49] NanoPulp: wait
[10:29:50] Mushyrulez: retsu
[10:30:00] NanoPulp: I CAN’T ENJOY IRONY?
[10:30:03] NanoPulp: BUT I LOVE IRONY
[10:30:04] NanoPulp: WHYYY
[10:30:06] NanoPulp: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[10:30:09] NanoPulp: I LOVE IRONY
[10:30:10] Mushyrulez: I love irony too
[10:30:15] NanoPulp: ok great
[10:30:16] Mushyrulez: that’s why mouretsu pirates is a pretty darn good show
[10:30:18] NanoPulp: we love moeretsu
[10:30:19] NanoPulp: done
[10:30:22] NanoPulp: :3
[10:30:23] Mushyrulez: :(
[10:30:28] Mushyrulez: no, today I will explain to you why
[10:30:29] Mushyrulez: MOURETSU PIRATES
[10:30:32] Mushyrulez: is IRONIC and thus GOOD
Note: this picture is EYE-ronic because a skull’s eyes are already HOLES ha ha haaaaaaaa
You’ve seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. Actually, hopefully you haven’t, because this post was actually published on June 14th, 2012 and totally not June 20th because why would I publish a post that’s already been published?? It doesn’t make any logical sense! :o
Anyways, hopefully, you haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. This is because I did not write manga posts the past few weeks, and if you saw me, it would be writing an anime post. And that’s creepy regardless if you’re a O-New subscriber or not, for if you are, this blog is creepy, and if you aren’t, you ought to go drown yourself in a well off the coast of Finland. Bloggers. (psssssst click the link to understand this ~inside joke~ that’s not even a joke)
Regardless of whether you have or haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days, there is no doubt that Master Chef is undoubtedly and indubitably radical squint
Squint those eyebrows»
You’ve seen me moping about being sick the past few days. Actually, hopefully you haven’t, because this post was actually published on June 7th, 2012 and totally not June 18th because why would I publish a post that’s already been published?? It doesn’t make any logical sense! :o
Anyways, hopefully, you haven’t seen me moping about being sick the past few days. This is because I did not go to school the past few days, and if you saw me, it would be within the confines of my own home. And that’s creepy regardless if you’re a family member or not, for if you are, this blog is creepy, and if you aren’t, you are creepy. Stalkers. (psssssst click the link to understand this ~inside joke~ that’s not even a joke)
Regardless of whether you have or haven’t seen me moping about being sick or not the past few days, there is no doubt that Show is undoubtedly and indubitably radical sick
In moètsu Pirates Episode 21: the DINGHY SPACE LEAGE [sic] outwits the Biscuit Company.
P.S. That girl is the moè-est girl in the entire show. FUCK YOU NANOPULP, DROWN IN A WELL OFF THE COAST OF FINLAND
I have literally never seen a cooler spaceship.
The pun is because out in space, everything is cold. Unless you’re next to a star. In which case it would be unbearably hot.
The pun is because out in space, bears
The actual posts are here (a post that compares Mouretsu Pirates to Avengers), here (an image that compares bread to coolest spaceships), and here (a post that talks about Sentai Filmworks licensing Mouretsu Pirates).
As a certain bunny would say, ‘That’s all, ignorant plebeians who just don’t understand how awesome sunglasses are.’
There’s been few O-New posts lately.
So what’s a guy to do? Well, if you’re a high school student whose prior total literary experience has blogging a really crappy show about vapid braindead high school teenagers, there’s really only one moral dilemma that has to be resolved: are bloggers allowed to wear really short mini-skirts? Get ready for internetwork buccaneering unlike any you’ve ever seen before as the posts get delayed by laziness, boredom, and the sexiest words ever in BODACIOUS SPACE BLOGGERS!
…well, sorry, because a) that was the actual post b) Mouretsu Pirates is neither sexy nor bodacious c) my words are never sexy and d) this won’t be a Mouretsu Pirates post and e) this dearth of posts is due to various factors in my life such as nothing, laziness, nothing, laziness, and some Chinese school talent show competition that I’m apparently participating in. It is also due to various factors in my laziness such as reading this hyper-cool webcomic (that is literally hyper cool and avoids all tropes like the plague, the poop, and the protagonist) and this super-cool webcomic (that is literally super cool and avoids all Touhou canon like the poison, the pee, and the principal).
Imagine a poisoned poop cannon»
It’s weird to see Hibito’s thoughts and not follow up on them too much. The shift in perspective was for convenience of narration and I’m not sure whether it was a good move.
Anyway, really heartwarming and such. Shows that selection processes still can be fair, that the world is still forgiving and understanding.
They did, indeed.
I HAVE LOST ALL POSTING MOTIVATION and feel so tired it’s not even funny, even though I just took a nap. Seriously. This will be a post filled with faggotry, incoherence, and trite nonsense. Want to see a glimpse into the great(ly stupid) Mushyrulez’s mind as he rambles on about foreign cartoons? Well, look no further, because hopefully this will be the first and last post that does such a thing…
Marika and the Clone Wars»
Oh wow. I don’t remember ever crying during Black Lagoon. This episode was a real tear jerker for me, seeing how tragic Jonah’s story is.
GUNS and TEARS»
Wow, what a great episode.
So heartwarming, especially with all the hair.
Afro and Spike
also the real purpose of this post is to alert you guys to this:
May fifth has already happened, though. I wonder if this will get subtitled (it is real, by the way)
I like this show well enough, but the fighting was a bit retarded. It was probably the same in Black Lagoon, though.
Jormungand 5 will be a better post.
Today I will actually post about Space Bros. The last two posts on Space Bros were incredibad because they were very incredibad. This actually involves effort because.
I just talked like a two-year-old there»
oh god oh no god no oh god
He’s going to get cut
by the guys
oh my god
and there will be seventeen episodes of him begging to the Space Agency
I really liked this episode, and although by the second episode I had doubts as to how this will go, this episode really renewed my faith in this show. (Just to clarify, Episode 2 actually made my rating drop to 6/10, even though it doesn’t say so in the post)
IT GETS INTENSE»