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Posts tagged “Black Lagoon

Jormungand 8

Cute armed men doing cute armed things»

Jormungand 2

Fanservice does feel good.

It is my personal thought that this show doesn’t have as much action porn as Lagoon has. I do not think that this is either positive nor negative, but I will probably spend a lot of this post explaining its effects on the content and the viewers.


Jormungand 1 [Impressions]



I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself by referencing the show that I’m going to be comparing Jormungand to several times throughout its run, even in this very post.

In actual fact, this show is actually fundamentally different from Black Lagoon, and I think I’m going to be spending most of this post explaining why this is. Wow.


2012 Spring Anime Preview

You know how our season previews go. There’s a basic formula to all of them. First, a summary, then a picture, then a disclaimer talking about how I stole all this information from other blogs, and then the actual post, written by me, Mushyrulez, all by myself.


Firstly, there WON’T BE A PICTURE after a summary which is this summary which is this sentence and the sentences immediately before and after this.

Secondly, there WON’T BE A DISCLAIMER after a picture because, wow, we’ve actually done our own research (read: searching for trailers on YouTube) this time!! This also means no handy embedded chart here; just search for it yourself. And seriously, if you’re going to read the chart anyways, there’s hardly any point reading this post. At least after you read this post, you’ll still have an excuse to read the chart. This paragraph is not a disclaimer telling you that this post actually doesn’t talk about anime at all.

Thirdly, there WON’T BE BLUE TRAILER LINKS because I can’t modify the link style on this new theme I’m using!! I know, simply horrible, right? The Carnelian (dark-reddish-brown, for those less artistically inclined) texts are links. It gets pretty confusing when I put it after orange text, which is written by me.

Finally, there WON’T JUST BE ME writing this post (otherwise, why would I colour my text?), because it’s time for O-New to DIVERSIFY like Random Curiosity and METANORN have done, although of course, we’re much more HIGH TENSION SYNDROME. AbsoluteZero255 has so kindly accepted my offer to let him write 99% of this post (using this colour of blue text), unlike that other guy flare who is being such a flare not writing posts and flaring his flare and OK, LET US MOVE ON TO THE PREVIEW. Ready? GO!

Ready ready ready for the PREVIEW»

Oversight, in Hindsight

‘Hindsight is always 20-20.’
– American proverb

Continue reading»

What if? Black Lagoon x Durarara!!

OK, call me crazy, but what if?

So, I’m putting Black Lagoon’s plotline into Durarara; meaning the story will seem more Durarara then Black Lagoon. Here goes some major mindfuck.
Format is “Durarara!! Character”/”Black Lagoon Character”; and one person can be different people. Rock/Mikado is different from Rock/Erika; Erika and Mikado are merely played simultaneously as Rock. When the plot needs to, something like Anri/Revy can switch to Anri/Balalaika. Killed also merely means “won’t appear significantly again” (cause you know people don’t die in DRRR, and in Lagoon… well… they do).

Mikado/Rock leaves his home, Japan, to live in Ikebukuro/Roanapur. As he wanders around, he meets some people; Kyohei/Dutch, Saburo/Benny, and… Erika/Rock and Walker/Benny.

Anyways, the Kidnappers/Military corner Rio/Rock, but Celty/Revy kills them. Mikado/Rock then meets with Masaomi/Balalaika who introduce (time-warp time, this gets teleported to the future where you actually do know these people) Shizuo/Roberta, Simon/Bai-Ji Shin, and Izaya/Balalaika.

Rio/Rock becomes emo and decides to commit suicide, which Izaya/Balalaika encourages. But Celty/Revy “saves” him/her, and thus Rio/Rock gets forgotten and disappears (becoming Mikado/Rock).

Mikado/Rock asks Kyohei/Dutch about the Hotel Moscow/Dollars but Kyohei/Dutch tell him it’s too dangerous to mess around. Izaya/Balalaika attacks Luak/those annoying girls, and then kill Chin/some gang members.

Celty/Revy and Shinra/Rock remember their “past” when… well, nothing much is revealed about Rock and Revy’s past in Black Lagoon, so… stuff happens.

Anri/Balalaika talks about Mika/Ratchman and stuff happen. Seiji/Sir Alfred does stuff, so MORE STUFF HAPPEN.

Kadota’s gang/Lagoon Company rescues Kaztano/The Twelve Knights Led by Brunhilda.

OK, now here’s some more timebending; imagine that the German-submarine arc extends till episode 12. Then imagine that Roberta’s arc is now. So it is: Shizuo/Roberta reveals that while s/he was young, s/he kept on breaking his bones by throwing refrigerators at random people/assassinated people because she was a terrorist. Eventually, s/he came to be employed by Tom the debt collector/Diego Jose San Fernando Lovelace the… person. Shizuo/Roberta thinks about his brother/noone at all, Kasuka/noone.

Celty/Revy talks to Shinra/Rock about her head/money in Shinra’s house/the submarine.

Mika/Ratchman realizes that Seiji/Alfred is sending her/him to her/his death, and well… the Seiji arc is too creepy to even be transposed, so we’ll leave it as “both of them are never heard of again”, cause DRRR doesn’t really give them any significance later. Seiji/submarine arc is now over.

Celty/Revy is chased by Kinnosuke/the Protectors of the Islamic Front. Nevertheless, she eventually loses them/BLOWS ALL OF THEIR HEADS OFF. Celty/Revy is then asked to pick up Shingen/the briefcase and take him/it to Shinra/the CIA, which she does.

The Slasher/Gretel attacks a bunch of people. Mikado/Rock is worried because The Slasher is targeting Dollars/Hotel Moscow.

Shuji/Hänsel tries to attack Anri/Balalaika but is killed by Kyohei’s Gang/Lagoon Company (Hotel Moscow).

Anri/Revy is visited by The Slasher/Gretel, who is revealed as Haruna. Haruna/Gretel then chases Takashi/Eda, and Anri/Revy is forced to reveal herself as the slasher/put Haruna/Gretel on the Black Lagoon.
Anri/Balalaika reveals that she’s the real “Slasher”, and kill Haruna/Gretel.

Masaomi’s past really has no place in Black Lagoon either, so I’m just going to stop trying. But Saki is Janet, and it somewhat fits; there’s this girl, people want to attack her for money, and she gets severely injured/survives without a scratch. Anyways Greenback Jane’s arc is over in one paragraph of discussion :/

Anri/Balalaika finds out that Masaomi/Balalaika’s the leader of… wait, they’re the same person

Finally we come to the last arcs, the climaxes (or in the case of DRRR, anticlimax) – Fujiyama Gansta Paradise.

Masaomi/Tsugio tries to find out who the Dollars/Hotel Moscow are (doing), and Izaya/Balalaika reveals that the leader of the Dollars is Mikado/they will do ANYTHING TO SECURE PROFITS. Noone/Tsugio then dies.


Nevertheless Takeguchi/Laptev dies because of the Yellow Scarves/Washimine Group. Horoda/Chaka then kidnap Anri/Yukio. However, some Dollars Members/Revy and Ginji get her back. Mikado/Yukio then disbands the Dollars/Washimine Group.

Shizuo gets shot but nobody cares about that

Masaomi/Rock tries to tell the Yellow Scarves/Hotel Moscow to stop attacking the Washimine Group/Dollars, but Horoda/Balalaika holds him at gunpoint. He is finally saved when Anri and Mikado burst through the door/HE SAYS SOMETHING FREAKING WITTY.

Horoda/Ginji “runs away” but a bunch of people/Revy kill him.

The end.

Character List 1:
(Black Lagoon = Durarara, chronologically)

The Black Lagoon Arc:
Roanapur = Ikebukuro
Rock = Mikado, Erika, Rio, Shinra, Masaomi

Revy = Celty, Anri, Dollars Member, “a bunch of people”
Dutch = Kyohei
Benny = Saburo, Walker
Lagoon Company = Kyohei’s Gang
Hotel Moscow = Dollars, Yellow Scarves
Balalaika = Masaomi, Izaya, Anri, Horoda

Military = Kidnappers
Chin = Gang Members
Luak = Annoying Girls

Die Rückkehr des Adlers Arc:
The Twelve Knights Led by Brunhilda = Kaztano
Ratchman = Mika
Sir Alfred = Seiji

Calm Down, Two Men Arc:
Eda = Takashi
Roberta = Shizuo

Lock’n Load Revolution Arc:
Bai Ji-Shin = Simon
The Protectors of the Islamic Front = Kinnosuke
The Briefcase with Information about The Protectors of the Islamic Front = Shingen

The Vampire Twins Comen Arc:
Hänsel (formerly Gretel, but gets killed as Hänsel) = Shuji
Gretel (formerly Hänsel, but gets killed as Gretel) = The Slasher (Haruna)

Greenback Jane Arc:
Janet = Saki
Washimine Group = Yellow Scarves, Dollars
Tsugio = Masaomi, Nonexistent
Ginji = Horoda, Dollars Member
Yukio = Anri, Mikado
Chaka = Horoda
Laptev = Takeguchi

Nonexistent = Kasuka, Namie, Tom, Blue Squares, Dennis, Shiki, Hashim, Hiroshi, Kanazawa, Isaac, Miria, Ruri, Ran, Green Squarves

Character List 2:
(Durarara = Black Lagoon, chronologically)

Exit 1 Episode:
Ikebukuro = Roanapur

Mikado = Rock, Yukio
Masaomi = Rock, Balalaika, Tsugio
Kyohei = Dutch
Saburo = Benny
Walker = Benny
Erika = Rock
Kyohei’s Gang = Black Lagoon
Kidnappers = Military
Rio = Rock
Simon = Bai-Ji Shin
Shizuo = Roberta
Celty = Revy
Mika = Ratchman

Dollars = Hotel Moscow, Washimine Group

Highly Unpredictable Arc:
Seiji = Sir Alfred
Izaya = Balalaika

Anri = Revy, Balalaika, Yukio
Annoying Girls = Luak
Gang Members = Chin

Utterly Alone Arc:
Shinra = Rock
Shingen = The Briefcase with Information about The Protectors of the Islamic Front
Takashi = Eda
Yellow Scarves = Hotel Moscow, Washimine Group
Kaztano = The Twelve Knights Led by Brunhilda
Takeguchi = Laptev

A Sudden Turn Arc:
Kinnosuke = The Protectors of the Islamic Front
The Slasher (Haruna) = Gretel (formerly Hänsel, but gets killed as Gretel)
Shuji = Hänsel (formerly Gretel, but gets killed as Hänsel)
Saki = Janet

Horoda = Balalaika, Ginji, Chaka
Dollars Member = Revy, Ginji
“a bunch of people” = Revy

Nonexistent = Kageyama, Wentzel, Matsuda, Speilberger, Gruppenführer, Fritz, Yolanda, Watsup, Garcia, Hong Kong Triad, Masahiro, Shenhua, Leigharch, Ibraha, Abrego, Verrochio, Rowan, Russel, Frederica, Claude, Rotton, Tsugio, Boris, Columbian Cartel, Rico, Bao, Yoshida, Diego, The Captain, Extra Order Company, Shane

…So there’s the plotline! There’s bound to be holes and errors in it, so comment below if stuff seems weird (’cause I suck at proofreading). Gonna add more information later, but for now… be confused. :3

Black Lagoon Half Season Review [Completed]

So, uh, first an announcement: YuChoy was supposed to blog HotD, so he’s taking over that series now. Which leaves me with the other badass series this summer; BLACK LAGOON.
Actually, I’ve finished BLACK LAGOON through daily 3-hour marathons. So here it is; an anime half season review.

"Mmmm... this knife sure is tasty..."

Episode 6 starts off with Rock and Revy RUNNING ERRANDS.
They first go talk to this STRONGLY-PIMP-LOOKING-LIKE AFRO-DUDE about BEER.

Actually, he means Suicide and Mundicide. Ya know, restaurant at the end of the universe?

Next is Balalaika about… well, right now they’re looking at a computer screen. Guess what they’re looking at.

Revi face: O_O Rock face: >_> Balalaika face: -_-

They then visit a CHURCH.

Where they buy ROCKET LAUNCHERS.

I don't think it's the right time to say that...

The church apparently deals in drugs and arms trades, and because they’re religious they can MOVE AROUND without people SHOOTING THEM TO DEATH. Anyways, Rock manages to talk about TEA for so long that the CHURCH NUNS give them A ROCKET LAUNCHER and a bunch of other stuff.

Rock and Revy then have a big, useless argument about ideologies, until the police come and arrest them.

"Then, I suppose it's time to... GOLF RIGHT HERE *SWINGS GIANT GOLF CLUB*"

Rock then engages in CHILD ABDUCTION, abducting GARCIA Lovelace who is the only son of one of South America’s MOST POWERFUL families. The COLOMBIA CARTEL tried to RANSOM GARCIA but his father, DIEGO wouldn’t let that happen. So, the CARTEL is forced to give GARCIA to the BLACK LAGOON.

"Get away from him, or he'll tag you!"

GARCIA hopes that his maid, ROBERTA, will save him ’cause she’s cool. But obviously that’s impossible ’cause maids don’t throw knives and stop time.

Nevertheless as the Lagoon heads into the YELLOW FLAG to drink BEER and YELLOW FLAGS, a maid is there with an umbrella and a suitcase, with the Columbian Cartel surrounding her.


Roberta reveals that the umbrella is actually a SPAS-12 Shotgun, and proceeds to decimate the members of the Cartel with the shotgun, her bulletproof suitcase as protection, and a machine gun and grenade launcher inside the suitcase. Garcia jumps up to tell her to stop, but Revy holds a gun to his head. Revy and Roberta then proceed to fight, leading to a grenade giving Revy a concussion. The Lagoon retreats, as the Head of the Columbian Cartel reveal that she’s an ex-FARC guerilla-assassin and an internationally wanted criminal. Roberta drops grenades onto the ground, steals a car, and proceeds to chase the fleeing Lagoon Company.

Hotel Moscow decides to join the fight and assembles a squad to aid Lagoon.


Meanwhile, Roberta manages to reach over and almost grab Dutch out of his car ’cause she’s THAT STRONG. Fortunately Dutch shot her radiator, so her car… dies.

Benny decides to drive through the small alleyways, but Rock says that going full speed on the main road would be best, as well as faster.

Even so, Roberta takes another car, drives off a roof, and crashes into the Lagoon’s car, head-on.

Flying car? Harry Potter clone.

Roberta’s car crashes into the wall but the Lagoon’s car still works, so they head off. BUT ROBERTA RUNS, WHILE WEARING HIGH HEELS, AND CATCHES UP TO THEIR CAR. She takes a TRENCH KNIFE and SPIKED BRASS KNUCKLES and CLIMBS ONTO THE BACK OF THEIR CAR.

Roberta takes out a pair of SISTEMA COLT MODEL 1927S and starts SHOOTING AT THE CAR. Eventually, they reach a dead end and crash into one of those cargo-container things.


I'm flying~

But Revy wakes up, so they start fightin’.


BUT IT KILLS LIKE EVERYTHING. As they’re about to kill each other…


Nevertheless, they still want to kill each other so they fight bare-handed, which concludes in a draw.


"I want a refund!"

Next would be episode 11. An epic HONG KONG guy named MR. JACKIE CHAN (well, it’s actually BAI JI-SHIN CHANG), the BOSS of the ROANAPUR TRIAD, reveals that someone BOMBED HIS OFFICE. CHAN has epic PAPERS that he got from some STUPID GUY, and so people want those PAPERS.






They take the papers on the BLACK LAGOON but are pursued, so Rock and Revy go down to land. Takenaka MASAHIRO, a LEADER of the terrorist group, poses as their driver and take ROCK hostage, WITH THE BRIEFCASE.


Revy is saved by SHENHUA, a STEREOTYPE assassin and her getaway driver, Leigharch.

NOW you get knives

Rock and Masahiro talk about stupid stuff, while Masahiro’s comrade, IBRAHA, wants to torture Rock. Masahiro said to wait ’till tomorrow, and finds that the briefcase is empty.

Not the greatest 5-wheeled

Shenhua and Revy RAID THE CAMP and the group sends VEHICLES AFTER THEM

Your mom.

But they destroy them all. Ibraha wants to send everyone to retrieve the documents but Masahiro knows that that’ll be suicide, so he shoots Ibraha to death.

Revy delivers the documents to the CIA and they leave in a HELICOPTER

*is stereotypical American*

Concluding BLACK LAGOON.

Well, what can I say.

It’s badassery to the most badass degree possible. I’m definitely looking forward to finishing the next two seasons of this.

But even so, there’s little semblance of plot; Black Lagoon starts with introducing people, then introducing more people with some action (first “arc”). Then more people, some backstory, more action (neo-Nazi “arc”). Even more people, even more backstory, even more action (Roberta “arc”). Finally, an immense amount of people, an infodump of backstory, and a hell ton of action (terrorist “arc”). We’re introduced to people who might become an important role in future plotlines (such as Balalaika). Or, those who we’ll never, ever, see again, even in flashbacks (such as Ratchman). And we have no idea who we won’t see ever again. I, for one, didn’t expect Bao (owner of the Yellow Flag) to be seen ever again, but he’s obviously there for comedic foil.

Inside the arcs, the plots are brilliant and well-conducted. There aren’t many info dumps, and the ones that there are are so stupid that you don’t need to know about them. The scenes are, for the most part, realistic.

The main problem I have (plot aside) would still be how they manage to shoot so many times and not get hit. The gangsters have ASSAULT RIFLES while they have PISTOLS, and they still beat up a couple dozen of them WITHOUT GETTING SHOT AT, EVEN ONCE. They WALK through hallways without being shot. Either this is some way to not make the characters anti-climatically die, or those people suck A LOT at shooting. THEY HAVE SNIPERS WHO CAN’T SHOOT. Just about the only success they’ve had was the guy with the RPG firing at Lagoon and Chan. AND EVEN THAT DID ABSOLUTELY NO DAMAGE AT ALL.

Yes, it’s brilliant; but Black Lagoon honestly doesn’t seem much beyond “shoot, shoot, shoot, introduce badass dude, shoot, introduce sucky guy, shoot, shoot, kill sucky guy, repeat”. Plot’s jumpy and discontinuous, and there’s no “ARE THEY GOING TO SURVIVE?!” sense around me cause I know, they can’t get hit. And when they do get hit by a bullet, they shrug it off like Shizuo.

Overall Rating: 6/10 (Amazing)

Add more plot, more realism; and this will have all the ingredients to become a masterpiece.

Black Lagoon Half Season Review

EDIT: Strikethroughs don’t work, why didn’t I notice that before I have no idea.

If a sentence seems broken, a part of it was probably strikethrough’d. We’ll try to fix this up in some sort of an update within the next 5 years.

A Notice:

Awesomebananadancer, as some of you may have noticed (meaning none of you because noone notices these types of things), is practicing for a piano examination.

However, he will be finished quite soon (today, I think). New edit: He’s finished and ninja’d my post schedule :<

Thus he will return.

And I will leave.

I have some really big (by that, I mean pretty small >_>) project to finish, and blogging takes a bit too much time, especially with all that video lag.

I’ll be back July the First, which means DRRR!! and AB! posts will be delayed ’till then. It’s the last episode anyways, so who cares?

I’m not going to watch Working!! nor Black Lagoon either, and will probably continue those during Summer Break.

Anyways, yeah. I’ll be back, but this is my last post for a while.



BLACK LAGOON is so freaking BADASS that I’m going to TYPE IN CAPS VERY, VERY, OFTEN.

So there’s this stupid businessman guy. He’s so stupid, that:

In fact his NAME isn't even revealed until halfway through the episode

He’s called Okajima ROKURO. It’s repeated THREE TIMES in one episode because it’s THAT EASY TO FORGET.

Then there are some obviously AWESOME people:

The one on the LEFT is REVY and the one on the RIGHT is DUTCH

Who decide that ROKURO is a WORTHLESS PIECE OF S-

So they try to ransom him for extra m$on$y$

And this is the last character, BENNY

But unfortunately they walk into a bar and someone says a lame joke some military guy starts massacring everyone.

Wait, if you think about it, that means he loves dead people... OH GOD MY EYES NOOOOOOOO

Not only do they have to pay the store owner for the damages, they now can’t really ransom off ROKURO anymore.

And then the military guy chases them with a helicopter.

A whole episode later, they get trapped but figure out a plan to escape.

It’s pretty BADASS.

Yes, that's a boat. Yes, it's flying. Yes, it's firing torpedos at a helicopter. NOTHING CAN GET MORE BADASS THAN THAT

After that, ROKURO realizes that the military guy was /HIRED/ by HIS OWN COMPANY. He quits, cause the company already arranged his funeral; thus ROKURO is DEAD and ROCK is now a Pirate in the LAGOON COMPANY.

Beyond that lies the port of immortality, Roanapra.

Revy goes off and kills 6 boats at once, and then HOTEL MOSCOW, the MAFIA client of BLACK LAGOON, copies stuff from a BATMAN movie.

I mean seriously?

It then flashes back into a EPIC world war II scene as the GERMANS flee from GERMANY.

Can't think of a witty caption either :/

They’re on a SHIP going to BATAVIA, because they’re SICK and TIRED of being stupid NAZIS. But a SS officer wants to get there with a painting, a painting by HITLER.

"I'm trying to do my homework!"

Eventually, like, a week before they finally get to BATAVIA, an ENGLISH ship PWNS them. They sink and drown, while the SS officer shoots the other people onboard. The submarine is left underwater with the painting still there.

The head of the neo-nazis. Also, that gun is unloaded :/


Certainly not these two

ROCK and REVY break into the submarine and FIND THE PAINTING. Unfortunately, FAT neo-NAZIS want the painting as well. The NAZIS take the painting but REVY and DUTCH MASSACRE them.

Well hey I have no gun but I can like kick peop- *shot*

It is revealed that some random OLD GUY hired BLACK LAGOON /AND/ the neo-NAZIS to get the painting. Inside is a bunch of PAPER containing codes for a lot of MONEY. Like, A LOT of money (I’m guessing hundreds of millions).

"The base is the Luger artill-" *shot*

REVY and DUTCH kill the neo-NAZI ’cause he ain’t 1337, and thus ends

the first half season


I can see some similarities to Working!! for this anime. One – there’s no plot. As far as I can tell, it’s just about a bunch of mercenaries beating a bunch of other people up. Two – there’s little content; AFAIK there’s not going to be much development at all. No Rock with submachine gun :/

But the difference is the tone. Black Lagoon is just FREAKING AWESOME. It’s got EVERYTHING you need for an EPIC anime (save zombies, but that’s not realistic :/).

Which is why ALL OF YOU should watch this, RIGHT NOW. Black Lagoon 2 is starting next next week, so you’ve got 24 episodes to catch up to~