O-New: Now Extinct Website

Posts tagged “Comedy

Ke$ha “Tik Tok” Commentary

Welcome to the second “Commentary on Music”. A better name will be resolved in the near future.

Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy
Alright, we know P Diddy is a man. Ke$ha wakes up feeling like a man, good to know.

Put my glasses on, Im out the door – Im gonna hit this city
Cities are usually pretty big, you’re gonna need a pretty big object.

Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack
Woah, spaz. You brush your teeth with alcohol? Well, at least you don’t do plastic surgery.

Cause when I leave for the night, I aint coming back
Summary of song so far: She wakes up feeling like a man, then puts her glasses on while brushing her teeth with alcohol because she isn’t coming back.

Im talking – pedicure on our toes, toes
Oh wow, not even four lines into the song and she already starts repeating stuff.

Trying on all our clothes, clothes
Considering the quality of your clothes in the music video, I doubt you have very many.

Boys blowing up our phones, phones
Where do these boys get there explosives? I need to know.

Drop-toping, playing our favorite cds
Drop-toping is something to do with convertibles, what the hell does that have to do with cd’s. Wait, she’s drunk, nevermind.

Pulling up to the parties
Ke$ha? Instead of pulling up to the parties, you should be pulling your self up the bar doing chin-ups. Seriously.


Trying to get a little bit tipsy
You don’t need no alcohol, all you need to do is run around in circles for at least 3 minutes and 14 seconds, only then will you be truly dizzy.

Dont stop, make it pop
Popping balloons of course, I would suggest using bomb towers. When they’re fully upgraded, they’re deadly.

DJ, blow my speakers up
Woah, first blowing up phones. Now blowing up explosives.

Tonight, Imma fight
The DJ  and the “boys” have explosives, save your energy, let them throw a cherry bomb or two.

Til we see the sunlight
Fighting till you see the sunlight. Sounds like a vampire to me…

Tick tock, on the clock
Ke$ha, I have a digital watch, mine doesn’t go “Tik Tok”

But the party don’t stop
Basically, you fight during the party and once you see the sunlight, you stop fighting and actually begin to party.

Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh
Repetitive-ness. Wonderful.

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh
You just said something, now you repeat it again.

Aint got a care in world, but got plenty of beer
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

Aint got no money in my pocket, but Im already here
You never said anything about purses, etc.

Now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger
Groovy clothes? Look at your music videos, you’re wearing half a rag!

But we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger

Im talking about – everybody getting crunk, crunk
Everybody getting “high” and “drunk” at the same time. Ke$ha, you seriously have some serious special abilities, go talk to Ash and Pikachu or something, they can help you master your ability

Boys trying to touch my junk, junk
Go to the landfill.

Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk
“Ke$ha” smacked “ArandomguynamedBartholemew”! The attack was super effective!

Now, now – we going til they kick us out, out
Or the police shut us down, down
Aren’t these the same thing, pretty much?

Police shut us down, down
“Ke$ha” repeats things a lot to “awesomebananadancer”. The attack was super effective. awesomebananadancer faints.
Po-po shut us –
Popo the younger– Very fast person compared to other people, IMO.

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh
Holy crap. That was just the same thing repeating right after each other. And we already heard that freaking twice already.

DJ, you build me up
You break me down
Oxymoron, much?

My heart, it pounds
What do you think it does? Explodes?

Yeah, you got me
With my hands up
And how does this prove anything?

You got me now
You got that sound
Is this DJ secretly part of the sound clan?

Yea, you got me
DJ, you build me up
You break me down
My heart, it pounds
Yeah, you got me
Note: awesomebananadancer will cease to do commentary’s on things this repetitive in the future.

With my hands up
Get your hands up
Put your hands up
=_=

Now, the party dont start until I walk in
Ke$ha, you ain’t invited too my birthday party, then I don’t need to wait for some mutated Pokemon that attacks by repeating stuff over and over again to come.

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Dont stop, make it pop
DJ, blow my speakers up
Tonight, Imma fight
Til we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the click
But the party dont stop
Woah-oh oh oh
Woah-oh oh oh

Alright, we’ve heard that 6 times. You’ve mastered one of your Pokemon abilities. Now do something else.

Song summary: Ke$ha is a special Pokemon with the ability to repeat things over and over to the opponent to cause damage to them. However, in order to do this, she must contact boys and DJ’s with explosives to get alcohol from them. Without her beer, she is a useless Pokemon.


V-NEW 3: 7+13=28

Quotes

28 vacuums a week, that’s a lot of vacuums to sell.

Did you ever go to school stupid? Yes, and I’ve come out the same way.

*stares at chalkboard* You’re hired.

Summary

A guy redefines the definition of epic win. Well, actually, a guy is being hired to be “something, i don’t actually know”. He gets a simple math question wrong, however, the interviewer tells him to prove it on the chalk board. He pwns the interviewers face 3 times. After that, he gets hired.

Rating

Length: Nice and short, if he could do subtraction, it would be even better though. 4/5
Humour: Whole thing is hilarious, makes you just stare at the screen. 5/5
Acting Skills:  Er… Just another category thrown in. I guess the interviewer is very good at pushing the other guy? 4/5
Plot: Sorta random, IMO. It works though. 3/5


Death Note-Native Faith Re-subbed: An Insane Commentary

YouTube – Death Note- Native Faith Re-Subbed

Above is the link to the video of this.

Lyrics (or something) in normal type, notes in italics.

Notes: First of all, Native Faith is an AWESOME SONG.

Second of all, Native Faith has no lyrics. These subtitles are already on the video, and are not accurate translations of the scene. In other words, THEY ARE FAKE. And they are funny. Also, read this post before listening to/watching the video.

Thirdly, and lastly, this scene is from (I think) the Death Note anime series, in the final confrontation between Near and Light.

“>:(” symbolizes a line said angrily.

~~~Video Start!~~~

0:00 Light: You are an idiot! Now stop! (Pic 1.) Light begins shouting in tune with the musical chords. Here the music starts.

0:12 Matsuda: What did I do? The scene at this point suggests “You BLEEP” rather than this line. Matsuda looks pissed. A set of repeated frames of Light getting shot with blood squirting out of him ensues. Light stumbles backwards a lot to the tune while being shot by Matsuda, who is wielding a revolver. A comment notes that “Light thought his Hitbox would be smaller ^^” (Sculvide). Another comment notes “Light should go to RPGs, since he has infinite HP apparently” (bast963).

0:18 M: hesitant Epic win? Matsuda is staring at his hands.

0:19 L: “>:(” Matsuda, you’re not epic at all! I think Matsuda is an epic-er name than Light, actually.

0:21 L: “>:(” You’re dumb~Then why the heck is he the one with the revolver?!?

0:22 L: and retarded!

0:25 L: Show them Matsuda, how I’m the smart one~

0:27 L: by singing along to my insane (Here, the Japanese words in the background go something like “Soak soak soak” as a scene of a pissed Light shouting replays for each “soak” >.>) random song! Random: Check. Insane: Check. Singing… No. How is singing gonna do anything? Words followed up by more random gunshots from Matsuda. The bullets sound like tranquilizer darts making “tchoonoises, btw.

0:33 L: (Right before this, Light says something in Japanese that sounds like “NOOOO”) Matsuda, why aren’t you singing!?! Keep not singing, Matsuda.

0:36 L: I just want to make this video really appealing~ Wait, what? You’re making a video!?!? How can this be possib- Naw, must be another one of his “just as planneds”.While we’re add it, add some more danmaku in the video, and put some of the Moon and some of Hell and the Netherworld and Higanbana fields

0:39 L: So, so, sing the song, before I get mad! (Each “so” has more of the shouting face clip) Jeez, why does this sound LIKE BLACKMAIL

0:41 M: I don’t care… (holding revolver tensely) Woot Apathy. Go shoot him like three bazillion more times, and start now, ’cause it takes that many shots to take him out.

0:42 “*Unnecessary Insanity*” Basically Light getting shot many, many times, then Light doing a manic laugh many, many times, then more shooting, and then laughing… until he somehow falls on what looks like this huge water balloon, popping it. HAHAHAHAHAHA MATSUDA YOU ARE UNDER MY CONTROL: FINISH LIGHT OFF AND GET ME SOME COOKIES

0:52 L: What, the heck? I just need more time! You’ll just spend it procrastinating

0:56 L: So stop shooting me, and let me sing!

0:59 M: Why should I? (<- surprised face. Sounds more like “Light-kun!”)

1:00 L: Matsuda, you don’t need to understand~ I just need to sing… Need or want? Do you even know the difference?!? Here; Yuyuko WANTS YGFC (Yuyuko’s Gensokyo Fried Chicken: 100% Mystia), while Yuyuko… er… NEEDS YGFC. (…)

1:03 “*Matsuda sings*” Basically some clips of the camera quickly zooming in on Matsuda’s face while he holds the revolver. Weird high-pitched noises. Light gets shot (once).

1:06 L: Okay, seriously! (These are the same Japanese words that are heard when he says “You are an idiot! Now stop!” Also, the first word is baka. It sounds like “BAKAAARAIYOHHHHH“.)

1:08 M: What? whowhatwherewhenhow?whatisthisIdon’teven

1:09 L: Just shut up! (Light throws his arms up as a gesture. The Japanese words here are “BAKAAARAIYOHHHHH”.)

1:12 M: You think you’re so good at singing,~but you’re not! (Matsuda is speaking in a demented voice, reminds you of Gollum/Smeagol. Looks evil, sounds evil, hands are trembling, etc.) Matsuda has a point here :T

1:14 More singing. Light gets shot

1:18 L: Mikami, help me, I need to make a duet! (Light is on the floor, bleeding. He sounds like he’s dying. Good riddance?) NOOOOOO NOT MORE INHUMAN SCREECHING (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHqWmohdP18)

1:23 Mikami: As you wish Master!

1:25 L: Near, it’s my win. (Light sounds calm.) NIMW makes a good abbreviation. NIMWIT is better, though (Near, It’s My Win, Ignorant Toyperson)

1:26 “*Commits suicide*” It seems to be Light, but Light isn’t dead yet. The only explanation is that he drank some Hourai Elixir, which would explain why he’s survived upwards of 35 shots to his chest now… The figure “committing suicide” is screaming and leaking a lot of blood :/

1:28 L: You stupid retard! (Some more “BAKAAARAIYOHHHHH“)

1:29 L: I’m confused! (?_?)

1:30 Mi: No need for that to happen Master! He’s writing in a notebook, presumably the DARTH NOTE. ImeanDeathNoteofcourseIdohehehehehdon’tkillmenowfanboys

1:32 L: Near, it’s my win…

1:34 Mi: Just revive yourself Mikami! (??????????>_<??????????)

1:36 L: …What the?… (A hand, most likely Ryuk’s, writes a name in a blank page.)

1:38 L: You! YOU JUST WROTE “NOOB”! (“BAKAAARAIYOHHHHH” returns. Light looks startled.) HAHAHAHAHA YOU BE A NOOB >:D Also, this is the funniest phrase in the video :D

1:40 Light is on the floor. He’s spazzing and rolling over it. He also sound like a dying donkey. That fits. Then more shooting.

1:52 L: Crap! (It sounds more like “NOOOO”)

1:53 L: I’m so startled… [noone] will sing! (Light is on the ground)

1:56 ?: This is all stupid, I just need some time to write…

2:00 L: Impossible! Don’t you understand what this means to me?!!? (Angry faic is the Light.)

2:05 L: Maybe… I can survive!~ This line, with the next line, is more or less actually one phrase, but is so awesome that it needs two lines, get ready!

2:08 L: By going EXTREME!!! wewtz

2:11 L: Near, it’s impossible for you to understand what I’m singing… (Light sounds calm)

2:16 L: What the crap?!@!

2:18 “*headbang*” Light headbangs his head against a wall. ‘Nuff said. Third funniest part, after the EXTREME part. I like the nice sounds made by the wall.

2:23 Near: Hmph, something I’d expect from an oaf. What next? Exactly.

2:29 L: You are such a traitor!

2:32 Shuichi Aizawa: You donkey… stop kicking your legs like that…

2:37 M: NO! (A new season of Matsuda Sings returns, now on @ 9:00) More shooting. GAH

2:43 L: Matsuda, you are such a…~Light falls on the water balloon again.

2:43 L: …whatever…

2:46 M: I guess I’ll have to end it here! (Mad face.) LIGHT FINALLY DIES AT 2:50 AFTER AT LEAST 45 SHOTS

So… yeah. An awesome song, with nice animations, with a good anime, and very funny subtitles means epic W.I.N.

WATCH THIS VIDEO.