Sword Mart on Limes 4
A story of maples, by Mushyrulez
“That’ll be 200,000,000 mesos, please.”
“Fuck this shit!”
Kiritoe spat on the ground. Unfortunately, MesoStory was a 2-D side-scrolling platformer, and Kiritoe pressed F6 to activate the emoticon representing ‘spitting on the ground’.
Unfortunately, MesoStory did not have such an emoticon, for it was a shitty Korean game nobody played that had horrible pixellation even though the technology exists to do otherwise. Case in point:
Instead, Kiritoe spat onto his outstretched naked thigh.
…He soon realized the full ramifications of his act.
“Damn, I should probably wear some clothes now.”
Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 10
Rushing off to some Churchill thing to select courses now. Please be patient, boys are now EASTER LONG WEEKEND YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH your post’ll come later…
…but who said it would be about Steins;Gate?
How To Break Your Keyboard!
Full title: How To Break Your Keyboard Without Lessons In Several Easy Steps In Half The Time Of The Leading Keyboard-Dismantlement Booklet!!: Premium Gold Platinum Silver Edition (50% Off! Clearance Sale): As Seen On TV*
only 5 easy payments of $99.99 to the power of 99
In this handy DIY from guest writer Houraiguy, “we” disprove the myth that keyboards are HARD to break! You, too, can smash your typing equipment with A Few Easy Steps in our book(let), “A Few Easy Steps”.
On the Subject of Cooperative Multiplayer Gaming
(Where there are teams, so will there be enemies.)
I like to think there’s a sort of equilibrium to the internet, or indeed, everything. I’m not going as far to say that there’s some sort of SHADOW HOURAI who goes around making usernames like :.:XxShAd0wH0uR4ixX:.: (this breaks all the tenets of my personal Guideline of Username Creation, btw) who is the Exact Opposite of me and gose aronud misplelign evarything and put1ng r4nd0m numb3r5 in his words and blogs (and by that same token, miraculously have the perseverance and will to blog on daily basis, GASP). However, I would say that as there will be people, in Minecraft, for example, with the divine* patience to build goddarn slot machines WITH REDSTONE, so will there be griefers with the demonic patience to destroy those slot machines (which wouldn’t take very long, so forget I said that and instead substitute “slot machines” for “1:5 scale Great Wall of China”).
In short, everyone on the internet is a jerk, unless they’re not.
O-NEG 15: Hell
The game is not, verbatim, called “hell”.
However, the game is, verbatim, “hell”.
Ore no Kouhai ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga Nai 1
(Scroll down for awesomeness)
A Generic Super Smash Bros. Brawl Review with A Generic Title (O-NEG 12)
DISCLAIMER: The following contains mentions of really old games. Or maybe not that old. But still. You may suffer from severe pangs of extreme boredom. I can’t think of anything else. Please see your physician if symptoms persist. I mean, symptom.
I understand that the game Super Smash Bros. Brawl was released a WHOLE THREE AND A QUARTER YEARS AGO GOLLY THAT’S SO !#@$#^%&^ OLD.
Meet The Ling (for lack of a better title)
I haven’t posted in a long time, so this is really awkward.
In any case, I have randomly decided to write a quick (which is pretty much going to doom me to take at least 2 hours to write this post !!@#$) post on something random!
When I say “something random”, that means I don’t know what the topic is. Yet.
[Brief intermission. Hourai gets something for brainstorming (
Because Mushz is doing anime/manga posts mainly, it looks like I will have to do gaming.
So, I’ve not been posting here for like, what, a century, so for no good reason, I present a random post on Starcraft 2.
Of course, this is about the ladder and multiplayer. In single player, Terran is overpowered. They have cheats, for example. Also, they have Odin.
Alright: We present: Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty: Unit Overview: Zerg: The Zergling. If you have any ideas on how to stuff some more colons into the previous sentence, keep them to yourself. I don’t need them.
I drew this with GIMP. Time taken: ~1 hour. I KNOW IT’S CRAPPY SHUT UP ABOUT THAT I’M NOT A PROFESSIONAL BLARGH.
The zergling is a little speedy cockroach-like thing the approximately length of a car. Since, however, Starcraft 2 is somewhat out of scale (I mean come on a cattlebruiser is only about the size of 16 marines), they’re really small little buggers that are the Tier 1 unit for good ‘ol Zerg.
A bug. Cockroach-like. Four-legged, like every other ground unit of the Zerg. Usually brown.
Zerglings/lings are pretty fast, cheap, and easy to mass produce. Investing in the upgrade “Metabolic Boost” gives them wings (similar effect as Red Bull; give you wings, but you still can’t fly) and ridonculous speed, making it easier to form surrounds, etc. “Adrenal Glands” grants 20% faster attack speed (only accessable at Hive tech), making Zerglings less like cannon fodder.
Speedlings (lings with Metabolic) make excellent scouts (base scouting), harassment units (pretty good against harvesters), and provide a quickly-reinforcing unit that can quickly take the opportunity to harass a mineral line when the opposing army is out of position and just as quickly retreat with minimal losses.
They are an excellent choice to hold the Xel’naga watch towers with.
With the Burrow upgrade, you can place one at potential expansion site to deny enemies the opportunity to expand. They can aslo be used when burrowed as minor scouts.
Zerglings only have 35 hp and no base armour, making them incredibly squishy bastards. As such, many units counter them well. With the Roach and the Hydra, the main three Zerg ground units are all somewhat countered by splash damage.
Zerglings are weak against Hellions, which have that extra damage to Light units in addition to the Infernal Pre-Igniter upgrade (+10 damage to Light units) and splash damage in a line. Note that Zerglings can easily overwhelm any lone “counter” unit if said unit is not properly supported.
Zerglings are also quickly roasted to death by Colossi, which are somewhat vulnerable like the Hellions as well.
Roaches fare fairly well against them, having that base armour of 1.
Infestors can use the spell “Fungal Growth” to reduce Zerglings to 1-2 health while immobilizing them for four seconds, allowing ranged units to wreck havok on the lings.
Since lings are melee units, Sentry Forcefields can trap lings while letting Stalkers and Colossi have fun picking away at the trapped units.
A Zealot can fight off around four lings (depends on upgrades and use of proper micro). While lings can decimate lone Marines, grouped-up gunmen can mow down lings with ease, denying them surrounds and also gaining the use of Stimpacks (temporary bonus attack speed and movement speed with the use of drugs, costing health) and Combat Shield (+10 health).
Lings can easily kill off any isolated units, especially if they are able to surround said unit. A fair amount of lings tend to die while doing this, but the cost is usually worth it.
Lings are the most common Zerg counter to Immortals, other than Mutalisks and Brood Lords. They are not considered Armoured, reducing damage taken from the Immortals, their attacks are don’t do enough damage to be affected by Hardened Shields, and they murder them with ease upon achieving that all-important surround.
Lings can also easily wreck Thors, Siege Tanks, and Colossi. Note that the Ultralisk is not easily killed by Zerglings, having the ability to obtain ridiculous amounts of armour (up to 6 armour, almost completely nullifying unupgraded ling attacks), a melee attack, 400 health, and splash damage.
Two lings are produced by one larva for 50 minerals. The fact that it is extremely easy to mass produce these buggers is offset by the fact that they are, again, squishy little bastards, with 35 health (this is the least amount of health held by any unit in the game, except for the Changeling).
Zerglings may morph into Banelings after the Baneling Nest has morphed in. This will cost 25 minerals and 25 vespene gas per Zergling morphed and takes about 17 seconds.
Zerglings are commonly used in the omnipresent Zerg Rush, a process wherein the Zerg player goes “all-in”, screwing his mining over to try to end the game as early as possible. The Zerg player builds a Spawning Pool (the pre-requisite building required to mutate Zerglings) as early as possible, hoping to overwhelm the opponent with 6 or more lings before the opponent has a sizable defense force/any defense at all. The Zerg Rush is also referred to as the 6 Pool, 6 supply being the earliest possible time that Zerg may build anything (the Pool).
People will often be pissed as !#$% after being beaten by the 6 Pool.
6 Pool-ers may sometimes be bad sports and swear at people who manage to defeat them (especially through an unothodox method), despite the 6 Pooler opening up with the Zerg Rush.
Successful Zerg rushers have been known to follow up their victory with “KEKEKE” (more KE’s can be added).
Green Globs of Goo: Corrosive Banelings and Why They’re Winning
The Baneling is a kick-ass sac of CFA (Corrosive… Acid) with legs.
This Zerg unit morphs from the Zergling, which was essentially described earlier as a cockroach with rabies. This was a very brief, yet rather accurate description of the Ling. Also, I never actually said that.
(You must have the Baneling Nest to morph these bad boys out.)
SC2 Basic Mechanics Review
Due to the fact that many people sadly do not watch either HuskyStarcraft or HDstarcraft, it is possible that said people will probably not be able to understand me whilst I ramble on about minerals and vespene gas and whatnot.
Blood Lad 4
[Late Announcement: Touhou 13: Ten Desires‘s demo is finally out~! Go get it… somehow!]
Staz fights over a pair of underwear.
Animal Crossing: the True Story
Picture from site.
Play the audio for the full experience.
And, just a warning, don’t read this at night.
【Touhou×Kirby Medley】桃方星連泉~Medley Dream
Just a quick (on-time!) post, today.
Hurr I suck at dedication+AHAHAHAHA BLACK OPS I HAVE A PREORDER
So like, I obviously fail at dedication, and I haven’t made a post in like a year or something. After much time, I finished all possible games that I would like to play, and exhausted the manga that I actually want to read. Thus, I’m coming back to O-New, (Like for real this time. If you don’t think I will, then just comment cuz I actually need to know if people read this stuff) and for today, Ima posting about something that I actually like, which is BLACK OPS HURRRRRRRRRRR
——IMAGE REMOVED DUE TO FUCKING JERKS NOT LETTING US HOTLINK——–
DO YOU KNOW WHY ITS GONNA BE AWESOME? Cuz you can paint your face to look like the Joker. No actually, it’s because the pre-orders have already exceeded Modern Warfare 2’s record
Obviously, no one cares about campaign or co-op (honestly who buys a FPS just for campaign?) Therefore, it’ll all be on multiplayer.
The one thing about multiplayer this time around are WAGER matches. Wager Matches are four different type of gameplay modes, that involve you cashing in your money (now they use money for stuff) and if you get in the top 3 score, you’ll get more money. The Wager Matches are Gun Game, in which you start with a .44 Magnum, and for every kill, move to the next weapon (in this case, the second weapon after you get a kill would be Dual-Wield Makarovs) all the way to the Ballistic Knife. There is also Sharpshooter, which is everyone has the same weapon for 45 seconds, and then all of them are switched for a new weapon. In addition, every kill you get will get you a new perk, while you lose all of them when you die. Next, there is One in the Chamber, which is the only thing everyone has is a pistol and a knife. Every player starts with one bullet, and once they use it, they mus resort to melee. For every kill you get, you get one bullet. Lastly, there is Sticks and Stones. Your weapon choices are a tomahawk, a ballistic knife, and a explosive crossbow. Have fun.
One thing about Black Ops you have to know are the customization options. Firstly, you can customize your red dot sight reticule to a whole bunch of different ways.
In addition, you can totally customize your emblem into these completely bizarre…emblems.
In addition, the killstreaks have some pretty awesome editions, like this
Besides the rabid dogs, (notice the emblem in the top right corner. A billion people suggested putting the sword at…nvm) For killstreaks, you have now a RC car that is armed with an explosive, RC rockets, and more.
Last but not least, we have theater mode. The people at Treyarch are all like “Hurr it’s for watching particle effects.” No, it’s for banning boosters, cuz now you have evidence, what with a camera monitoring everyone’s movement in every single match they play. :D You can stalk people and ban them. 10/10 just for that.
Otherwise, that’s Black Ops to you, and remember kids, watch out for scary people online, cuz you never what will…
5 Games on Kongregate You Should Play: OR: Advertisement
[MUSHYHIJACK: Also guiz, happy October the first :V]
I have previously listed several other Kongregate games in O-NEGs and other game-related posts; these should be included in the list, but they’ren’t (That should be proper grammar, “they aren’t”, lol)
And yes, this is kinda an ad. And these games aren’t strictly limited to Kong.
BUT STILL! IT’S WORKING FOR YOU FOR EVERY SECOND! IF YOU NEED ENTERTAINMENT BY SOME CHANCE! YEAH……….
Portal The Flash Version
Achievement Unlocked (and 2)
This is the Only Level (and Too)
Boxhead 2Play Rooms
5. Boxhead 2Play Rooms, by SeanCooper
This is a game with an “unique” art style, where “unique” means “interesting” in the same way a cabbage turnip tomato bittermelon onion tea is interesting. As said in the title, everything has a box for a head*, and there are Rooms and this game can be played by Two Players (not a common feature). So the title doesn’t lie (+1 star). It lists pretty much everything in the game (+0.5 stars)**. And, although there are only 10 weapons, they are vertasile versatile and fun. Really fun. (+1 star)
How To Play This Game: Mode 1
“Single Player Mode”/”Cooperative Mode”
This mode allows you to choose from 18 maps to Battle The Evil Zombie Infestation with Guns and Fun.
Each map is a white, boxy area with several red boxes in it. These red boxes will provide ammunition and health when picked up (e.g. trampled by boxy shoes). Health will not be provided when your health is full, but ammunition may be provided to weapons with full ammunition. Red boxes will routinely respawn after being flattened, always appearing in the spot it was before (respawn times of about a minute).
At the beginning of the game (level 1), you will only be provided with a Pistol, which has infinite ammo. To unlock new things, one must kill zombies to gain Rewards as the following system dictates.
When a undead is killed, your Combo increases. Over time (and actually pretty quickly), your Combo will fall, one multiplier at a time. (The higher the combo, the faster it’ll fall.) By reaching certain levels of Combo, the player character gains improvements to his current weapons (ammunition count, damage, range) as well as New Weapons. You will not lose an upgrade if your Combo falls below the Combo that was required to unlock the upgrade.
Death marks the end of the game.
Co-op mode is slightly different from the Single Player mode. The game will only end when both (remember: 2Play, not 19846931Play) players hath perisheth. :/ Players will respawn after about 15-30 seconds of time of death (with only a Pistol :/), provided the other player manages to stay alive for this duration. Also, there are three optional features of this game (turning off any of these only merits the loss of your ability to submit High Score).
3. Friendly Fire.
The Friendly Fire feature allows both the ability to be run over by your partner’s Rockets/Shotgun spamming and the ability to be killed by your own explosions (Charge Packs, Rocket Launchers, Barrels, Claymores/Mines)
The Collision feature allows you to walk through the undead army (I think) as well as Fake Walls, a type of wall placed by the player (destructable).
Demons are the other enemy of 2Play. These enemies are greatly distinguishable from their zombie underlings in that they hold several characteristics:
1. They can instantly vaporise your Fake Walls.
2. They can shoot FIREBALLS (will only shoot when a player is within a certain radius; also, these fireballs will set off Barrels, damage Fake Walls, damage You, and damage zombies (two hit kill).
3. They are red.
So we see that the demons are actually quite easy to distinguish from zombies. :/
Another miscellaneous bonus of 2Play is the customizable controls. Uncommon and minor as this is, it’s still pretty helpful. Also, you can choose to skip ahead several levels for convenience’s sake (starting from these levels, your player is granted several weapons and some Combo)
“Death Match Mode”
As this is a 2Play game, it is fitting to have a competitive battle mode. Here, all upgrades are initially unlocked and no zombies spawn whatsoever. Players may choose to wall off and barrellify the map as they so please, and it is worth noting that players have low amounts of health (Rockets = instant kill, Uzi = two-hit kill, Shotgun = two-hit kill, etc. Only the Pistol really does any mediocre damage.) This is ridonculously fun for some reason. No online fighting D:
4. This Is The Only Level & This Is The Only Level TOO*** by jmbt02
TITOL and TITOLTOO both revolve around the same concept: Do crap with an elephant to Finish The Level, of which there is only one (Again, the title tells the truth! GASP.). It is worth noting that there are Stages, which basically replaced the concept of levels in these games. TITOLTOO is a fair amount harder than TITOL, be warned. YOU WILL RACK YOUR BRAINS. Also, the “Blind, Deaf, and Dumb” level was kinda vague. It has something to do with “deaf”, hinty hint. There are 30 levels stages in each. Enjoy the wobbly elephant. Also, the wagon means WASD.
Fun: It racks your brains without damaging them (e.g. making you smarter, like games such as “Mario Math” or “Mastur Cheef Does Long Division” would do). 1337.
Music: TITOLTOO has the best music in a game ever, excludes Touhou. Accordions. F. T. W.
Gameplay: Find the gimmick to the level stage. Exit the level. Avoid the spikes. Panic when necessary. Don’t be afraid to go to the main menu; the game autosaves. Simple. Easy. Fun.
3. Kongai by Kongregate
Indeed, this game is exclusive to the site that it’s made by. Go Greg. Anyway, this is the only multiplayer game on this list, mostly because I find Elements has too much luck and Platform Racing 2 has too much lag.
Kongai is like Pokemon. Except you don’t have to deal with all that type effectivity doohickey and doodads.
Here is the game explained in a nutshell.
Kongai In A Nutshell (With Pictures To Go With The Words)
Kongai is, sadly, turn-based, but this does not mean it is like Pokemon (ohwaitdidIsayitwaslikePokemonbefore?ohsh*tIthinkIdid). It’s fun. Dang. I can’t describe it. It’s like Elements, but with more Pokemon, but no RPG parts, and collectibles. Part of the fun is the Items.
The items, as shown by an absence in the above diagram, are a crapload of stuff you can equip onto your characters. This makes for a lot of fun times, because free choice is entertaining (to a point). Mindreader’s Chalice or Healing Salve or Origami Crane or Null Matrix or Hero’s Flagon or Knight’s Emblem or Ring of Curses or Blood Vial or Necronomic Tome or WHATEVER stuff there is. Basically, you can equip your characters with one of 11 choices.
Also psychology and guessing are a major factor.
Yeah, I give up on describing Kongai. It’s fun.
2. Portal, the Flash Version
It’s Portal basically, only in 2-d.
1. Epic Battle Fantasy 3
It’s not just a continuous string of battles like the last two. ITS AN RPG. AND IT’S AWESOME.
I refuse, in the name of sloth, to say anything more.
*If it has a head.
**Short of the weapons.
***Not a typo. Yes, TOO. It’s a pun that I can tolerate. Amazing.
…YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I should probably play it sometime soon.
But why not… THIS WEEKEND?
Because IT’S FREE!
Slogan: “Minecraft, that game that I’d totally buy if I had any monetary possessions capable of transmission across the internet, but I don’t, so all I can do is make up this shitty post about how you can get it for free for this weekend though the real reason I’m making this post is because I don’t have time to make another more meaningful post.”
Unfortunately, this ain’t an O-NEG; it’s a links post, so here we go…
^ And the first image is of Minecraft! That’s what ya do in it. This guy probably spent 2 years making that. What? Minecraft hasn’t been out for 2 years? OH WELL
^ OK seriously this guy has no life (or I have no life and I could be making this, but instead wasting my time on stupid forums :V)
Same .MIDI program that the Mimamemlomdy guy used. Sol eater… someone who eats suns… Well, not the Death Star that’s for sure.
Maybe I’m the only person who finds those yellow bars at the top really grating, because they’re just the same thing, over and over again, held for so long; and just those two notes!
The rest sound alright, I guess. But ZUN-style is really too repetitive, IMO. I can’t tell much of a melody out of this jumble of notes; I think it only starts at around 2:30. Maybe if ya listen to it more, it’ll become more memorable or something. I’m not sure…
^ NEED. MORE. PRISMRIVERS.
Oh, did I tell ya guys? I have a viola now. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
Next instrument I’m gonna learn is definitely trumpet, for quite obvious reasons. As to why I didn’t choose a violin, I think I’ll start with some backstory.
I signed up for a strings program in school; just about everyone wanted to learn violin (because they didn’t know what the other instruments were :V). The teacher then guaranteed that anyone not learning violin would get a B, because they have so few of them that you’ll /always/ be selected to be part of the final orchestra ensemble (which accounts for some marks).
Thusly more marks is always better; and besides, violins kill my ears.
As to this particular arrange, the beat’s amazing – that’s probably why I’m posting it here. Starting a composition with swing notes gets instant bonuses from me.
Sounds like a really vibrant 1930-esque arrange; 1930 songs are /always/ awesome.
^ Yet another epic arrange. I should seriously elevate my standards so that I don’t spam so much :<
Actually, I didn’t realize this was Touhou, like at all.
:V Not much more to say here, I guess…
Goodbye MODERN WARFARE 2, hello ONEW+Video Review
So as the title screams, I’ve stopped playing MW2, due to consistent kicks in the shin by awesomebananadancer, and also simply because of the fact that its not my game.
Anyways, there is like this vid thats kinda kewl (but lecturing) about stuff. So yeah, just watch.
HEAR THAT? HMM? MONEY IS BADDDDD. (sortof)
Anyways, MECHANICAL WORK+MORE MONEY=:D COGNITIVE WORK+MORE MONEY= D:
Anyways, if you’re above 13, (you should be), you probably already get those three things.
Obviously, autonomy is better because you get beer and cake and PARTY. lol jks. The real thing about autonomy is simply because youre not getting bossed by other people on what to do. WOOHOO In a way, this is what makes video games popular. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING, except stop the fact that your princess is in another castle.
Then we haz zee mastery. Mastery, obviously, is having mad skills at something. Just like TheAlmightyHutch has pro skills in MW2, Beethoven also had mad skills in music. AND ALSO HOW TOAD HAZ TEH MAD SKILLS OF TELLING PEOPLE THAT YOUR PRINCESS IS IN ANOTHER CASTLE
For Purpose, well, there is beer and cake hanging from teh tree. Anyways, purpose is pretty much the mix of autonomy and mastery. The purpose of making your company succeed, is pretty much trying to be autonomous and master the diffferent aspects, no?
Well, that was a pretty crappy review. If anyone else comes up with a different answer to the three motives, then comment and make me feel stupid. :D
YA SUCK AT TYPING
(Also known as TA PI GAME)
Alright, I got bored today, and this is ta outcome after some 5 minutes.
:V Have fun.
Download Link (as much as ya want it ta, it’s not a virus – trust me)
Oh, and first person ta discover all ta quirks to ta file gets nothing. But just a note out there that there are quirks in it :V
EDIT: Just noticed, for ta last question I didn’t round up pi to ta last digit, so it’s technically incorrect. OH WELL DERP DE DERP :V
O-NEG 11: Amorphous+
A game of greatness
Amorphous+ stars a generic hero with a sword following the tradition of the Generic Stereotypical Odd-Coloured-Hair Japanese Hero Dude (As Seen In Final Fantasy) in that he has a RABIES (Really Antagonizing Big Indestructible Edged Sword) that is like three times longer than your arm span. Holy shi[pwreck fi]t. This sword cannot be broken, even if you 1. Smash it into a) a wall, b) a razor sharp thing held by a Gloople, or c) a boulder Gloople thing, 2. Get murdered by d) a Biter, which noms your face, e) a Fuzzle, which also noms your face, f) a Grinder, which contrary to popular belief does not actually gain levels for running over blue-jumpsuit-wearing GSO-C-HJHD(ASIFF)s, etc.
The Gameplay portion in A+ is very well executed; the controls are simple and easy to use. Most Glooples have a specific manner in which they are to be dispatched, which means that your GSO-C-HJHD(ASIFF) will be running around a Sharp, while pacifist’ing several lunging Biters until the Sharp is vulnerable, which is when you go SLASH. After SLASHing, you are of course mauled to death by the Biters.
Your… Character… follows your mouse wherever it is, and clicking causes him to swing his incredibly over-sized sword in a WHOOSH of destruction relatively quickly. However, the main fun about A+ is the fact that there are 110 achievements, some for doing nothing (Absentee – Leave Pause screen on for 3 minutes [medal picture depicts a toilet]), and some for being
What is particularly
about A+’s “Awards” is that for every 10 “Awards” earned, you will also earn a “Reward Key”, which surprisingly UNLOCK AN
“Reward”. After collecting a grand total of 10 Awards, an “Reward slot” is awarded. Award award award award award award award blah blah blah
Although it is possible to have 5 Rewards unlocked before the awesome arrival of the second Reward slot (@ 55 awards, which is easy peasy to earn :/), it is only possible to equip, at any time, the amount of Rewards on a 1-to-1 correspondence (That’s right, right?) to Reward slots. Or, in more internet-ish terms, one reward for each reward slot. Or, in even more internet terms, 1 R3\/\//-\R|) 4 34c|-| R3\/\//-\R|) $70’|’ (Personally, I think that type of 1337 is plain stupid).
There are essentially 19 characters in A+. 18 are blobs of some sort (Although calling a boulder a blob is pushing it).
In case you are interested, I will proceed to describe these Glooples/blobs in order of Bestiary (AKA official order). However, I will not bother to supply their name.
THE CAST OF AMORPHOUS+
- Green blob that walketh in a straight lineth. This cannot kill you. Bumping into it will stun you, nothing else. Capable of “reverse mitosis” (or combo-ing) with itself. Author’s Notes (AN): Basically cannon fodder/combo point multiplier fodder.
- Yellow squarish blob, also the straight lineth-eer. Also doesn’t kill you. Upon contact with anything (sword, another blob, you), goes FWOOSH and dumps a large pool of yellow crap on you that slows anything down. AN: The Crap Of Yellow also affects any Glooples generally smaller than trucks. To be precise, anything you-sized or smaller, including, naturally, you. Doesn’t affect, of course, boulders.
- Blue fanged blob. It chases you and if it gets close enough, it goes LUNGE I WANT YOUR BLOODDD. Most common thing to kill you. AN: Capable of reverse mitosis as well. You do NOT want that to happen.
- Orange “sqooshy” blob thing. Leaky. Very leaky once killed. Homes in on you, but not very quickly. Fragile as well. It’s not pee lemonade it leaks (not like mister yellow up there), but salsa. Or hot sauce. Very hot sauce apparently, because most things stepping in there melt dissolve. AN: Accidents happen. A lot.
- Light-blue spike-blob thing. It’s like “Roll Roll Roll” (McRoll = -.-) and also “VANT UR BLUD” guy. Must withdraw spikes if you want to kill it, which means getting behind it without slashing until it does so. AN: Get a certain item, and this is made loads easier. If you don’t get the Reward I have in mind, these are annoyinger than hell. Also, slashing at them while they’re spiky and all will still knock them back, and also possibly into other stuff…
- Purple grape. Also a follower. These guys are also annoying. They shoot mini purple grapes at you that slow you down. If you do get hit by them (easily dodgable, but still), spin around a lot to shake them off. These grapes will eventually grow up if not scared off the field (they run away). Also, killing a big grape leaves several baby grapes on the ground behind it, which must then be mopped up :/ AN: If you have too many grapes on you, you will not be able to move.
- Black shadowblobninjasamuraiblob (as shadowninjasamurai as a blob can get, at least). Not invisible, fortunately, but fairly quick and agile. It leaves a black trail in its wake. Also fragile. If killed by contact with anything, it leaves (again) a puddle of inkstuffmaybeitsoilithinkitsoilitsureactslikeoil that is slippery. Flammable, as in it exploders if it runs into a large fire. If what it hits happens to be you, the screen will turn black for several seconds, presumably the character being blinded. The game continues to play while this blindness occurs. AN: Explosions can kill you. Just a thought.
- Boulder. Slightly curves towards you, and also FREAKING HUGE, MAN. Hitting it with your regular sword doesn’t do anything. To make it vulnerable, it must a) be hit by another boulderblobthingnotreallyablobbecauseitsaboulder, b) run into orangeblobgoo, or c) be hit by an explosion (this is rare). Runs over pretty much ANYTHING. AN: Takes 5 hits after vulnerability to kill it, which sucks.
- A grizzly bear blob. It takes three hits to kill. After two hits, it becomes shaved (it’s furry brown) and tries to run away. It regrows its hair after awhile. Also, in fuzzy form, it can survive orangeblobgoo (but it will be shaved afterwards). AN: They act a lot like the blue blobs, but they pause before “Murderous Lunge”. Also, this is starting to look like a Pokedex. “Gotta Kill Em All”, except in Pokemon, they pretend dead Pokemon are “fainted”. Yes, that’s right, those Pokemon Centers have Necromancy Lv. 192804751876. ZOMBIE PIKACHU!
- Big Green Blob. The result of green blob mitosis. Actually follows you, but slowly. Is not able to run over as many things as the boulderblobthatisnotablob, but still pretty wreckingball-esque. Takes three hits to sploosh. AN: Not much to say here, move along. It kills you by rolling onto you, in which case it digests you. Nom.
- Flaming bomb blob (not to be confused with flaming anyothertypeofblobprettymuchblob). If you slash it while alight, it’ll blow the F_ _ _ up on your face and kill you, leaving a large fire (the kind that blows up shadowblob into another explosion, leaving another large fire). It’s flames will eventually recede (they’ll also recede immediately if they run into yellow lemonade pools or hot sauce lava), in which case it can be slashed without the explosion, but they’ll relight after running into a large fire. AN: Kinda annoying because of the “must wait so you don’t die immediately” feature. Kinda. Kinda. A lot. Follows you.
- Icy blob. It can’t kill you, fortunately. Also fragile (“fragile” means bumping into it causes it to a-splode). REALLY FAST AND CURVES WELL TOO. Can’t really outrun it so much as dodge it. If it does explode, most things within a certain radius get frozen. If frozen, move mouse up and down to break out. When frozen, you are “fragile”. Frozen blobs award no points. AN: ANNOYING. Must kill quickly and also must mouse spazz quickly.
- Metal blob with mini tentacles. It hardens quickly when slashed if not done well. When you do slash it well, you’ll have to do it again. And once more. Also chases you. If you’re far enough from it, it’ll extend a tentacle to spear you and then OM NOM NOM NOM NOM. AN: Did I forget to mention that those big green blobs become these through more reverse mitosis with more (small) green blobs? Also, it’s vulnerable while it’s poking it’s spear out (not while withdrawing it).
- Lighter green big blob. It REALLY OMNOMNOMNOMNOMs the heck out of stuff. It takes a lot of hits. With each hit, it shrinks a bit. It eats things smaller than it, making it grow. It’ll also split sometimes. AN: Fast and agile as well. Kinda annoying.
- The “Horror”. This is the actual name of this thing. The Horror. OH THE HORROR, the HORROR. THE HORRORRRR. Gah. It is basically two bluelungeblobsofdeath mitosis’d. It doesn’t lunge. Oh no. It runs you over. It’s a big (big green blob sized, actually) spinning, blue sawblade of DEATH. Like a lawn mower. It occasionally shoots little fatal fangs. Sometimes it’ll shoot four mini blue slicers, leaving a blue core. THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. KILL IT QUICKLY WHILE IT’S VULNERABLE, BECAUSE THOSE THINGS WILL COME BACK SOON AND IT’LL PROBABLY RUN YOU OVER LATER. Also, really annoying. AN: Beware the fangs. Also, it won’t reveal the core unless you’re far enough. The Horror of it all.
- A purple octopus of longer-tentacles and even more shadowninjasamuraiblob awesome. Although it only takes one hit to kill, IT IS DANGER ☢CAUTION!☢ ☢CAUTION!☢ ☢CAUTION!☢ (extreme amounts of awesome detected) OUS. If not performing Attack 3, it will use Attack 1, which is a gravity veil-thing that somewhat pulls you towards its center, and when you are close enough it performs Attack 2, which is to send out a ripplingwaveofdeaththatskindalikeanexplosionbutstill. Attack 1 usually stops after awhile, but do not, under pretty much any circumstances, get anywhere close to this blob while it does this. Also, it is made by r-mitosis between a metalgearsolidblob and a regular small green blob. AN: Attack 3, BTW, is a charged attack. Basically, the purple thing gather matter in front of it and SHOOP DA F_ _ _ ING WHOOP, a laser comes out of nowhere and disintegrates (almost) anything that touches it. This is the only time (while it charges and while it’s shooting) when this thing is vulnerable (e.g. can be attacked without using Attack 2 on your sorry tailless back end). Also note that the laser doesn’t move and that it pulls stuff towards it.
- A red string of blobs with two golden swords. This is a blob that appears near the end of a “nest”. It tries to cleave you into two. It will do this by: a) Lunging towards you with one sword, then another lunge with the other. (Very long ranged attack), b) Half-heartedly swinging one sword at you, c) Jumping backwards and swinging both swords forwards, kinda like safety scissors, except not safe, or d) You walking into one of its blades. The main way to kill it is by slashing while it lunges. AN: The timeframe for killing the blobstringthingblob is very small. This is ridiculously hard.
- A RAZOR QUEEN, ahiddenbossoho (another use of the official name). This will own you. It’ll own you with it’s awesome golden tail that will own you or it’s awesome golden side leg sword things that will own you or it’s pair of golden swords that you will own-* I mean, will own you. It takes 5 good hits to kill it, and they have to be when it lunges, and to it’s head-part-thing-blob-part. It will enter the screen with a lunge (it will spread both it’s main swords and LUNGGGGGGE), which is your cue to dodge to the side of the head and give a good slash. The Razor Queen will also consistenly drop black-blue mini spike things that will walk around randomly. If you get too close to these, they will pause and explode with teethy goodbadness. The R-Queen will also randomly enter Siege Form. This is when it stops moving and starts SHOOTING. This is supremely bad. You must then dodge all the fangs, drill mites, and spiny jacks it then proceeds to blast-, no, shoot-, no, fire-, no, spew** at you at pretty high speed. Fangs are basically just bullets and jacks are basically portable pieces of cover (for the fangs) that it also shoots at you (note: walking into them results in impalement). The drill mites are a different story. These jerks follow you underground at decent speeds, and when they get really close to you, they’ll just go “POP” out of the ground and try to run you through. If the mite misses, it’ll re-enter the ground again and continue chasing you until you destroy it, which you do by swinging while it is out of the ground (e.g. trying to kill you). With luck, the R-Queen will not throw these things at you (With more luck, the R-Queen will not even enter Siege Form, but that’s wishful thinking right there). After several seconds of sieging your face, the R-Queen will start moving again and will be vulnerable all over again. AN: HARDEST>F…ING>BOSS>IN>THE>G>A>M>E. Also appears late in the nest.
- The last character in A+… is the player character. And all his dead clones, just lying in some shallow grave somewhere out there, still wearing their blue jumpsuits.
A+ has some real addicting gameplay up it’s sleeve, but getting every one of the 110 awards is a pain (Hardest Achievement: either “Queensbane“, ““, “Merciless“, “Untouchable“, “Unbelievable Combo“, “Killer Swing“, or “Legend“.****)
This is a description of all the awards in appearance: Gold, Silver, or Bronze medals with a black picture on them and a design of the ribbon part.*****
Rating: 10/10 (Go Play This Game Right Now. Also, Wear An Aluminum Foil Hat, Because Otherwise This Game’s Awesomely Epic Win Leetness And Ownage Will Rock Your Clock And Sock That Rock While Logging That Noggin)
*It’s a reference to this manzai (TH M1, 2nd). Also, you get to have one of its swords if you beat it outside of practice mode.
** (WARNING: Link leads to TVTropes. Houraiguy is not responsible for hours days weeks years spent following up to this one link***. Seriously, the amount of links there is insane.)
*** I suppose you could sue TVTropes…? Nahhh.
**** Queensbane: “Awarded for splatting 3 Queens [the red string of blobs with two golden swords]. Cat-like reflexes, iron concentration, and a healthy dose of luck to boot. Or you’re just that leet.” : “Awarded for splatting a Razor Queen. You are now entitled to boast to your friends that you beat the boss of this game. Ignore confused looks of skepticism.” Merciless: “Awarded for splatting 2 Razor Queens. Anyone can stumble through something impressive once. Consider this proof of your awesomeness.” Untouchable: “Awarded for surviving 10 minutes in Bounty Run mode [survival mode]. I can only assume you’ve reached some sort of ninth-level-zen-state to keep it going for a whole ten minutes. There is no fear- there is only the Force” Unbelievable Combo: “Awarded for splatting 8 Glooples in a single swing. What the… how do you even FIT eight Glooples into one swing arc?? You cheated somehow didn’t you… don’t lie to me.” Killer Swing: “Awarded for splatting 300 bounty worth of Gloople in a single swing. Now that’s how you use a preposterously out of size sword. Cloud who.” Legend: “Awarded for scoring 3000 points in any mode. Holy crap, what are you, a freaking Jedi?!”. Other humourous descriptions of awards: Dedicated: “Awarded for dying 50 times. Somewhere out there, there’s a graveyard full of your failures.” Impressionist: “Awarded for splatting four different types of Glooples in one single swing. Not just instant abstract art, but one of the toughest achievements in the game. Congratulations.” Black Mark: “Awarded for splatting an Inkie [the black shadowblobninjasamuraiblob]. Bonus points if you thought of Rorschach***** and saw a pony.” Sick Combo: “Awarded for slashing 6 Glooples in a single swing. Now that’s a great swing. Opportunity knocked, and you slashed the crap out of it.” Bragging Rights: “Awarded for clearing a Huge Single Nest. Roses are red. Violets are blue. All my base are belong to you.” Academic: “Awarded for spending 10 minutes total in Practice mode. The pen is mightier than the sword. Except in this game. Cuz there’s no pen. And the sword is really big.” Massive Swing: “Awarded for splatting 150 worth of bounty in a single swing. A swing like that shows some pretty deft tactics. Either that or blind luck, but we’ll stick with the tactics thing.” Mad Skills: “Awarded for clearing a Big Single Nest. Your name shall strike terror into the hearts of Glooples for ages to come. If they had hearts. Okay, their goo, then.” Bloodletter: “Awarded for being killed 5 different ways. Variety is the spice of life. Also, apparently, messy bloody death.” Gorehound: “Awarded for being killed in 10 different ways. Burned, bisected, bitten, melted, impaled, shattered, mauled, and beheaded. And your insurance premiums are probably none to pretty either.” Threat Assessment: “Awarded for surviving 10 minutes in Bounty Run mode without dying. Assuming you aren’t a sissy or didn’t have the difficulty ramp set on low, that’s actually pretty good. Otherwise, well… you’re a sissy.”
***** As in the inkblot test. I’ve saved you the trouble of going to Wikipedia. Tips, please.
O-NEG 10: Colour Theory
Alright, this is a game called Colour Theory. When I first read the instructions, I was like, holy crap, what is this? After, I decided to try playing it. The game came to me pretty easily, there were two types of levels. Levels that required skill and levels that required intellect. On the first level, you should encounter an image similar to this. Only without that many rectrangles. Anyways, this is an awesome game, go play it.
After touching one of the crosses, all of the rectangles of the same colour will disappear. In some instances, this is good. In others, it is bad. In the picture below, the robot will die.
The goal, it appears to be a portal. Upon touching it, your robot will disintegrate then all pieces will enter the portal. This is probably because your robot has had too much cake.
In addition to falling off the screen, your robot can die in other ways such as encountering an enemy or impaling himself on some spikes.
Graphics: Really simple, pixel pack actually
Replayability: There is no point, not even the tiniest bit
Gameplay: Some of the levels are purely based on skill, you can spend 20 minutes continuously doing a level, those levels are really annoying, other than that, it’s pretty fun
Concept: It’s new. Like awesome new. Like O-new. I like it.
~Laziness prevails, I’m too lazy to create the rest of this post~
O-NEG 9: INQUISITIVE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE
DAVE DAVE DAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE DAVVVVVE DAVEEEEEE D-D-D-D-D-DAVE BREAKER D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DOMBO DREAKER
So yes, I have internet connection while on vacation! I can post! I can be up to date on my one-person video subscriptions[EDIT: Not enough internet to actually do this.]! AND DAAAAAVE
>-Actual O-NEG Begins Here
Inquisitive Dave is a game. Games are this.* ID (cue Koishi danmaku and Freudian quotes) is about a person named Dave. He presumably goes around SAVING THE WORLDDDD-DAVE DAVE DAVE RAVE.
[Some people may notice at this point that I feel all rave-y today RAVE ON DAVE
ID uses the mouse FOR ONLY ONE PURPOSE. This is to regain focus on the Adoozy Falsh control thingamajigger if focus is lost. Otherwise, use WASD/<^>v ** and SPACE AND THE GALAAAAAXYBAR/Enter.
List1: Things Dave Can Do
Dave can JUMP.*** Press W or ^.
Dave can MOVE UPUPDOWNDOWNLEFTRIGHTLEFTRIGHTBASELECTSTART****
Dave can SAVE THE WORLD 
List2: Things Fatal To Dave
- Water: DAVE CAN’T SWIMMMM- blub
- Guns: DAVE HAS NO BULLET TIME
- Crocodiles: ITS SOOPER EFFEKTIV
- Antlions: The ones from Tremors.
- Poisonous-To-Dave Berries: They’re deadly POISON! ALSO ADDICTIVE OR SOMETHING!
- The End Of The World: 2012
- Wizard (EVIL): Shoots an Electric Zap. See Electric Zap.
- Electric Zap: See WIZARD
>–Back To The O-NEG Here
ID: This is like a Point-And-Click game (It’s a Falsh game, remember? KONGREGATE FTW), except without the use of the SACRED MOUSE. And with sarcastic comments.
List3: Sarcastic Quotes From ID:*****
- “It’s a puddle. You’d better hurry up and escape soon because there’s a dripping up in the ceiling; the water level could reach a whole foot in the next millenia or two.”
- (Outside of prison, talking to prison guard for your cell) “Go away. I’m guarding the prisoner.” (You are the prisoner :/)
- “It’s some of that Awesomade. Didn’t they stop making that after that kid’s eyes fell out?”
- (Intro) Dave: “If only there was some sort of guiding player to make decisions for me!”
Thus we see that ID has a sense of humour. ID does seem to have an awful amount of walking back and forth, but the humour is very well implemented (Thus we see ID is more like a humour romp than a game~). The FINAL BOSS is also pretty creatively made (HINT: CAMPING RAVE RAVE RAVE).
By the way, you haven’t learned anything from reading this post. Hurrrrm. Also, the link is here.
FINAL REVIEW: 8.9/10
*Or at least Super Mario Galaxy 2 is that.
***So can Greg~.
****He can’t actually move down w/out gravity. He can’t move selectstartba either :/
*****Not direct quotes.