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Posts tagged “Gaming

Monochrome Pictures: Series 2

“FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”

“Return of the freaking evil bamboo forest, Take 1”

“21345414667 grazes and 1 point later”

“Not the unbeatable spellcard! NOOOOO”

Note: It’s not usually that big >.>

“Er… Should I pick Yes… or Yes…? WHERES MAH KCUFING NO BUTTON”


HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 4

I’m running out of ideas~  ‘~’

THIS IS THE LAST PART OF THIS LIST HAHAHAHAHA I WILL BE FREED FROM THE PUNY SHACKLES OF RESPONSIBILITY

Number 3: The Black Hole Generator (HeliAttack 3; PC (Flash))

What: This huge-*** gun does not shoot bullets. It does not shoot missiles, bullets, lasers, boomerang blades, corrosive goo, sparks, or shotgun shells. No. See “Why”.

How: Something along the lines of what makes pretty much every freaking gun work. HAXSHENANIGANSANDEVERYTHING. Who really cares, though? IT’S AWESOME.

Why: It shoots black holes. This is no microscopic LHC black hole producer. This makes BLACK HOLES. This kills anything on screen. Excludes you. Screen shake added! This black hole is like 5 yous tall. IT RIPS THROUGH HELICOPTERS LIKE BUTTER KNIFES THROUGH BUTTER.

SON OF A BLEEPING BLEEP FEST

Actually, the BHG does not create all the bullets, arrows, or grenades in that picture. Those were there just for show. The ominous black shadows in the middle of all this is a BLACK HOLE that will ABSORB all those loverly things into it, thus removing all the lag. The arrows specifically prove that that guy is EIRIN

Numeros 2: The Experimental MIRV (Fallout 3; PC, XBox 360, PS3)

Yeah, we already did a post with a weapon from FO3.

[grand, epic speech]

TO HELL WITH RULES

FOR TONIGHT I MAKE AN EXCEPTION TO REPETITION RESTRICTIONS

TONIGHT, SPARTANS, WE DINE IN HELL IN THIS HELL-O WHILE EATING JELL-O

[/idiocy]

Because this is awesome. Also, to hell with the “Why:” and “What:” and “How:” columns.

Earlier in this game, you will occasionally find a “Fat Man” off somewhat tough enemies. Remember Hiroshima? Yes, references are great UNLESS THEY’RE HISTORICAL in which case [hyena] THEY’RE HYSTERICAL [/squeaking]. Even earlier from that point, you will notice items referred to as “Mini-Nukes”. Also, these items are quizzically organized in the “Ammunition” category. You may, at this point, wonder what these ammunition items are for, excluding selling (these are rare and sell for a LOT). That is where the Fat Man does. It shoots these mini-nukes. To hell with this “mini-” prefix, these things make pretty big explodershuns. AND THEY HURT. The only problems with M-Ns:

1. They are rare,

2. They can hurt you with their insane splash radii, and

3. They are not as big as the nuke in Megaton, which is taller AND fatter than YOU (you can’t get fat >.>).

Because of 1., M-Ns run out quickly.

And then the E-MIRV comes in.

The E-MIRV is not so mere as to be able to be found off mere mortal enemies. No, you must (practically) go through HELL (not the Deathclaw Sanctuary, where you can find medic power armour) to find 5 “Keller Family Transcripts”, and then venture through this weird building for a long time until you reach a freaking terminal that will only let you past with the passwords in the transcripts… AND THEN YOU FINALLY GET THE MIRV (with bonus nukes!)

What is different from the Fat Man and the Experimental MIRV? For a start, the E-MIRV is more powerful. How art thissa a-being a-possible-a? After all, the Fat Man shoots a NUKE. Hint: Shotgun rain with radioactive properties.

This is no mere shotgun that fires a petty 3, 4, 5, 6, or 3.1415926535… bullets. No. This fires 1 WHOLE MINI-NUKE.

…Of course, we were talking about the Fat Man back there. The MIRV shoots 8 nukes. HECK YEAH. You have like a 50% percent chance of killing yourself every time you fire the [PROFANITY]ing weapon, just because of splash. Awesome sauce is awesome, shotguns, and Experimental MIRVs. I’m sure the only thing it CAN’T take out in one shot is Liberty Prime >.>

Number 1

Drumrolllllllllllllllllll

Dramatic pause

Imperial March music here

Number 1: The Smash Ball (Super Smash Bros. Brawl; Wii)

Yes, you’re prolly thinking about how a glowy orb not much bigger than Sonic’s oversized, bobblehead-esque head can be better than

  • The Rock-It Launcher (#10)
  • The Last Word Spellcards (#9)
  • Mario’s Boots (#8) (These might have been higher up if not for the fact that they didn’t have spikes)
  • The Seeker (#7)
  • The Kasimov SNV-E99 (#6)
  • The Chandelier of Awesome (#5) (Also want spikes for this one)
  • The Portal Gun (#4)
  • The Black Hole Generator
  • The Experimental MIRV

But it is. Because it’s

  • A pair of gloves with magic pixie dust (Mario)
  • A forcefield (Luigi)
  • A pair of drums (Donkey Kong)
  • Three tanks (Fox, Falco, Wolf)
  • A electric field of hell (Pikachu)
  • An upgraded laser cannon (Samus)
  • Poke-Steroids (Short-Term) (Jigglypuff)
  • Mutation (Temporary) (Ganondorf)
  • Power Level Over 9000-ers (Lucario)
  • A Jetpack (Diddy Kong)
  • Dragon Drugs (Yoshi)
  • A racing vehicle (Blue Falcon, GO!) (Capt. Falcon)
  • A mob (King Dedede)
  • A suit of armour (Zero Suit Samus)
  • More Steroids (Longer Lasting!) (Bowser)
  • A set of ink blobs (Mr. Game and Watch)
  • A critical hit (Marth)
  • A flaming sword (Ike)
  • A Helicopter (AC 130?) with a Grenade Launcher (Snake)
  • A Pokemon Rare Candy Bundle (three quintillion, ten quadrillion, three hundred eighty five trillion, twenty-eight billion, four hundred ninety-five million, eight hundred seventy-four thousand seven hundred fifty-one Rare Candies rolled into one! *Temporary Effects) (Pokemon Trainer)
  • Two Bows with A Light Arrow For Each One (Zelda and Sheik)
  • A rocket ship (Olimar)
  • 7 “Chaos Emeralds” (Sonic, you jerk)

Etc, etc. Course, them’s not the REAL names, but STILL.

I mean, that thing is all of those things. Most notably the tanks.]

And that is an incentive of awesome.

HELL-O FINISH


HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 3

A highly flawed list; Part 3

Number 5: The Chandelier (You Have To Burn The Rope; PC (Flash))

What: A chandelier. Yellow. Has candles. One Hit KO’s all enemies*.

How: A relative of Mario’s shoes. Unleash the power** of this weapon through the obtaining of an unknown*** tube-like object of dark beige hue with Oxygen wasting properties****. In addition to acquiring the sacred***** object of power**, another mysterious requirement must be fulfilled before the absolute, deadly surge of power from this annihilator. Many efforts from renowned****** archaeologists have merited the discovery of a cryptic message detailing supposedly detailing the wonders of this weapon of mass destruction. Advanced******* expert******** cryptologists********* are hard at work, striving to decode the language of this message. Theories of how the Chandelier works********** have arisen recently with the finding of the message.

Why: Credits song is better than Still Alive.

*: Or enemy. **: Damage currently undefined. Order now! ***: The fire on the wall. ****: The torch which the fire on the wall is on. *****: Only sacred to worshippers of Chandelierism. ******: Not necessarily renowned. *******: Not necessarily advanced. ********: Not necessarily experts. *********: A.k.a potheads. **********: Gravity.

Number 4: The… (Uh…) Whatchamacallit… Thingamajig…? (Portal; XBox 360)

Er… what was it called again? Ummm… (*checks Google*)

What: The WCMCITAMJ, better known as the ASHPD, from the [handspasm]AKJFGHALFGUHAFVB A8G8RG;afaY8EWAGRY ARSDGU9430T GA9ERI;df’aGF IJVAHJJBVDAFN[>.<]VIDAJOSJDIVADH[/handspasm]science laboratory*, is able to make wormholes from here to there. While not exactly able to (gore-filled moment with livid description), it has proven among the best in destroying cameras**.

How: Shenanigans. Hacks. No idea.

Why: You can teleport with this thing. If you had a knife, you could just portal behind your target and start shanking. Also, you can pick up really heavy cubes with this thing.

*: Aperture Science Laboratories. **: There’s an XBox achievement for destroying every camera on every level. A camera gets destroyed by being shot by one of your portals.

Still more s**t is a-coming.


HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 2

Another list. This part has weapons 8 and 7.

Number 8: Footwear (Mario Series)

What: Shoes. >.>

How: Gravity. >.>

Why: You can kill anything in Mario games with a jump. Except for spiky enemies and Boos.Kills bricks. Kills Goombas, smashes Koopas, kicks their shells around. Flattens buttons, somehow makes him wall jump efficiently, etc. Are those normal boots?!?

Number 7 &6: The Seeker and the Kasimov SNV-E99 (Singularity; XBox 360, PS3, PC)

The Seeker

What: The Seeker fires explosive rounds. Pity it’s not automatic. You’re probably thinking at this point: “WHAT?!?!? A LOT OF WEAPONS HAVE EXPLODERING ROUDNZ ADN U PIKKED THS SHT!?!?! ITS NOTT EVNE AUTOMATIC>!!?1!?!!1111/!?!” First of all, there is no need to think in capital letters (thanks Dave Barry for the joke) and poor spelling.

How: Play the game and you’ll eventually see it. Iunno how it works, but it has something to do with E99, which does random stuff. This random stuff includes creating the freaking Flood (y’know, from Halo), creating Time Kufc-like situations in which TIME GETS SCREWED UP AND THE FUTURE GETS CHANGED BY TIIIIIIIIME TRAVEL, and making awesome weapons.

Why: You can steer the bullets. AWESOME SAUCE. These are like horizontal PREDATOR MISSILES (YES YES YES BOOM), except you get more of them. Granted, they lack the splash damage radius of said Predators, but they remain OHKOs against regular grunts.

The Kasimov SNV-E99

What: Your (almost) standard sniper rifle. Powerful…

How: More E99 shenanigans. Otherwise your standard sniper rifle.

Why: You can SLOW TIME when you use the scope. How awesome is that? It also happens to OHKO grunts.

Ok, I put in three weapons when I said I’d put two. I lied. Sue me. More parts coming in the future.


HELL-O: (Hourai’s Evil List of Lethargy on O-New) Awesome Weapons in Games Part 1

Because I like making up abbreviations, this is a “HELL-O”. I was thinking “HELL”, but this, and possible other installments may not fully pertain to elements of Subterranean Animism or Phantasmagoria of Flower View or [Big Word] of  the [Obscure Adjective], etc.

As mentioned in the title that happens to be in font upwards of twice the size of this font, this HELL-O is about Awesome Weaponry. By the way, this is a top ten. Awesomeness is not necessarily judged by destructive power. Also, as I have not played every game in existence, there will be better weapons. Also, I am aware that people will not agree with me on all counts.

Number 10: The Rock-It Launcher (Fallout 3; PC, Xbox 360, PS3)

What: The Rock-It Launcher is not a rocket launcher. It is a miscellaneous-junk-that-is-otherwise-useless launcher. The RIL can be loaded with any items in the “Miscellaneous” category of your inventory. Items shot can be picked up, and will arc.

How: Various schematics (four or five of them) for this awesome weapon can be found throughout Washington, D.C. You can buy one of these schematics from Moira Brown in Megaton, although it might cost you a fair amount of caps. You can do this even if you blow up Megaton, because Moira Brown will STILL BE ALIVE, although she’ll be a ghoul.

Why: The creativity of this weapon is above and beyond. It also provides the developer with an excuse to create the ability to pick up random crap and SHOOT IT AT A FOREIGN HEAD IN VATS. For awesomeness, I personally think that death by high-speed teddy bear would really suck, because those hurt. Or plunger. Or garden gnome… I was personally thinking of shooting one of those conductors, or maybe those pilot lights…

Number ⑨: Last Word Spell Cards (Touhou Project 8: Imperishable Night [Touhou Eiyashou]; PC)

What: Danmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmakudanmaku. Times THREE HUNDRED OR MORE. One-hit KO danmaku! OH YEAH! Aside from that, Last Word spell cards can only be played in Spell Practice mode. There is a spellcard for each character (includes Ex-Keine).

How: Unlockable by completing certain criteria. Only 5-6 are easy to unlock, and none of them are too easy at all to dodge.

Why: I can’t beat any of the 4 that I’ve unlocked: Unseasonal Bug Storm (Wriggle), Blind Nightbird (Mystia), Emperor of the East (Keine), and Lunatic Red Eyes (Reisen). Mostly because I suck.

I’ll present number 8 and 7 in Part 2.


O-NEG 8: Killzone 2

Apologies to everyone for not posting for so long! (Blame Infinity Ward and their awesome Modern Warfare 2 game for doing so)

Alright everyone! This is Killzone 2, a First Person Shooter that is much more better than Battlefield Heroes! (Apologies Houraiguy, but BFH lags like frigging hell. :/)

^Alright Creepy Alien soldier with glaring red eyes!

Anyways, the storyline is based around two sides, the ISA, the good guys, ( even though they decided to invade Helghan) and the Helghast, which are the glowing red eyes soldier people. BTW, the Helghast are just regular humans with freaky helmets, so that overall summarizes it. The ISA send forces after forces to Helghan, attempting to rule T3H UNIVERSE! Scolar Visari, the leader of the Helghan, decide to defend the planet. You control Sergeant Sevchenko, and you attack these random people with assault rifles, sniper rifles, flamethrowers, etc. etc.

The campaign storyline is crappy, but then first-person shooters never did have a storyline in the first place. Name one first person shooter that has a good storyline. (Metal Gear is a third person) Exactly. Anyways, the enemy AI is amazing. First of all, they are not blind, and will see if you throw a grenade, and then scatter. Secondly, they actually take heavy cover, and they have amazingly large amounts of health. Approximately 1/3 of your assault rifle magazine will kill it, and its hard because of how much they duck and cover.

In addition, you are provided with a wealth of ammunition and weaponry, so you don’t have to worry about running out of ammunition that much. Overall, the weapons damage is measured precisely, so that means grenades don’t react like missiles. >.> In addition, recoil, movement, and everything else is extremely smooth in the campaign that is. (In Multiplayer, you start randomly flying through buildings when you die. Then again, all multiplayer shooters (except for MGS4 WOO!) have this, so meh) In Killzone 2, there are obviously checkpoints. However, unlike Metal Gear Solid 4, you start freezing and otherwise known as “lagging” like mad, until you pass the checkpoint. I find this somewhat takes away from the experience, so that takes away 0.5 from the overall score.

If you’re going to play the game for campaign, don’t buy it. If you’re playing for multiplayer as well, DEFINITELY BUY IT! The multiplayer is amazing. Why? Because its a complete killzone. Unlike Modern Warfare 2, where you’re stuck with only 12 players in one game, Guerilla bumped it up to an astonishing 32. Literally, its a killfest with grenades flying everywhere. In addition, you level up through the ranks, earning more weaponry, (sadly uncustomizable) that you can use to kick butt.

Most people like me play Modern Warfare 2 like I do. Here is a tip. DO NOT EXPECT TO KICK ASS AT BOTH GAMES SIMULTANEOUSLY! Firstly, it is two completely different game styles. Killzone is a killfest with no strategy whatsoever, while Modern Warfare 2 requires stealth in a way (cuz your health is puny) and you also need to use things like Harrier Airstrikes, etc. In addition, the maps are much more different. Killzone 2=dark, gloomy maps with wide open areas where you can open fire like mad. (rat tat tat) Modern Warfare 2=a whole variety of maps. In Killzone 2, all you have to get used to, is to shoot whatever moves. Thus, I play Killzone 2, when I simply want to shoot and not think. :)


O-NEG 7: Flandre’s Quest

...It's a point n' click Visual Novel, why would you need Preferences... there aren't even any choices >_>

Download Link.

...Er, look out the window.

One day, Flandre wakes up and BASHES HER WAY OUT OF THE ACCURSED SCARLET DEVIL MANSION WHICH HAS TRAPPED HER FOR CENTURIES. FINALLY, SHE IS FREE FROM THE SHACKLES OF IMPRISONMENT BESTOWED UPON HER BY HER VILE SISTER. SEEKING DESTRUCTION IN EVERY FORM, SHE DIVES TOWARDS THE HAKUREI SHRINE TO SHATTER IT INTO TINY, UNRECOGNIZABLE SHARDS OF DUST.

Let's TAKE SOME TEA OUT OF THOSE PEOPLE THEN >:D

Then she realizes that Reimu’s a fellow vampire like her, so they decide to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. But to do that first, they must KILL THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT CHARACTER IN TOUHOU – Marisa.

They meet ALICE WHO TELLS THEM THAT MARISA IS, IN REALITY, A CREEPY DOLL OTAKU.

..The irony.

Flandre says something SMART.

AND THUS THEY WILL COLLECT MANY, MANY POISONOUS MUSHROOMS FOR MARISA TO PARTAKE IN THE CONSUMPTION THEREOF

Finally, THEIR FLAN IS IN PLACE. Plan.

THEY GO TO THE FOREST OF MAGIC

WHERE THEY FIND POISONOUS MUSHROOMS

AND WIN THE GAME!

…Actually, Flan’s trying to find a birthday present for Marisa.
Cute little game that has nothing to do with world domination at all.
There are some flaws that I can see; namely that Flan’s room shouldn’t really have light coming out of it, and the absence of a picture for inside the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Also, the preferences and options at the beginning of the game are just way too overwhelming – and every single one of those preferences are unnecessary.

There’s also 80 saveslots for the game, when the whole thing takes about 15 minutes or so.

Flandre’s Quest is just a nice, relaxing brainless point n’ click; so if you’ve got nothing to do or are in a mentally depressed state of comatose, you can give this a try.

Not by any means canon, though >_>


A Few Idiotic Thoughts About Super Mario Galaxy; Noone Cares Obviously (This Includes Somebody And Nobody -.-)

Super Mario Galaxy is a game, unlike Wii Sports, which may or may not be a demon in disguise  :O

The reason that SMG (OLOL?) is a game, unlike W(insert three letters here that create an insult, namely U, S, and S)Sports, is that it can be generally more or less agreed that it is a game through a variety of traits held by other “games” and also a lack of traits shared in the only non-game I know, a.k.a. WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Sports.

Game Trait 1: Plotline. SMG’s Plotline goes something like this, for all of you people who are not up to date with Ninny-tendo games and/or are people who behead others who mention any Nintendo-associated words, as shown below:

King You: Ahem. *Reading the charges* As recorded in this document, you said the word “Mario” in my presence three days ago. Do you admit to this crime?

Person 1: What do you mean? I never mentioned Mario in your pre… waitaminuteohfu-

Royal Executioner: *beheads Person 1*

King You: Next on our list of [:<AP{W{:A?F?JWA] charges, we have you, Mister I. D. Iot. You have been accused of uttering the word “Luigi” on Royal Grounds.

Mister I. D. Iot: What? I never said “Luigi” on-

Royal Executioner: *beheads Mr. I. D. Iot*

King You: Next…

Returning to the sacred (read: trashed) plotline of SMG, THE PRINCESS THAT APPEARS IN PRETTY MUCH EVERY MARIO GAME GETS STOLEN BY THE MONSTER THAT APPEARS IN PRETTY MUCH EVERY MARIO GAME RIGHT IN FRONT OF MARIO’S EYES AND MARIO GOES OFF TO SAVE THE UBIQUITOUS PRINCESS BY GOING TO THE UBIQUITOUS MONSTER’S HUUUUUUUGE CASTLE (Where the heck does Bowser get the funding to build his castles? O.o) WHICH IS ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS REALLY FAR FROM WHERE MARIO STARTS FROM. The main difference from the SMG plot and pretty much every other plot (Luigi’s Mansion had a different plot, admittedly, but that was a Luigi game, not a Mario game) is that 1. it takes place/in OUTER SPACE/IN YOUR FACE/NAO WASTE MY SPACE RACE, DISGRACE AND WASTE OF SPACE, I’LL FACE YOU WITH A MACE IN A GIANT SUITCASE/etc. (Yes, there are space races in SMG. And they MOSTLY are not particularly fun.), and 2. you are able to fly to galaxies, in which “fly” refers to being launched several thousand lightyears via star-shaped object that is orange. Wii Sports does not have a plotline. This may be good in some circumstances due to the fact that the Mario plotline is somewhat similar to the Touhou one (Mario: Get Peach, Touhou: Fix Unprecendented Serious Affair), but OTHERWISE IT SUCKS.

Game Trait #2: A Large Array Of Unlockables And Secrets

Wii Sports had exactly 15 unlockables, if you count the “pro” status an unlockable (it unlocked a higher difficulty 0_0), and they were not exactly difficult to achieve, barring the pro statuses. In SMG:

  1. Every galaxy, minus the starting two galaxies, must be unlocked,
  2. Once a galaxy is unlocked, there is only one mission available at the time (other missions are unlocked by completing the previous mission)
  3. After getting every star, beating Bowser again, rescuing Peach, and sitting through the cutscenes and the credits (120 stars is a lot, the credits are long, blahblahblah), you unlock LUIGI’S CAMPAIGN. This is the same as the regular campaign except Luigi is slightly faster than Mario (‘Eeeere we go!), slightly higher-jumping, and has sliding issues. And after you finish another 120 stars as Luigi boy, you unlock ANOTHER galaxy for both Mario and Luigi, which has (drum rollorollorolloroll…) -DUN DUN DUN (Zelda tune for opening an important chest)- one star each. Apparently, it’s hard, but I have only 108-ish stars as Mario :/

Game Trait #3: Controls Of Not Sucking So Much

SMG’s controls are fairly natural. Wii Sports are not so natural.

AND NOW TO THE THOUGHTS OF IDIOCY

IMHO: Hardest Boss In SMG: Bowser (Center Of The Universe)

Before mentioning all the goody-goody-gumdrops stuff in this category, I would to note two things:

First: A boss, in most games, is a boss that actually has a lifebar (in at least a few video games, this bar is not present amongst common enemies); usually this bar is 1. red, and 2. longer than yours (In Touhou, you don’t really have a lifebar…). Also, the boss is usually defeated through the exploitation of a weakness that it has, the boss attacks in patterns, and the weak point is a part of these patterns. Note that the weakness is not so much a weakness than a flaw in the boss’s defenses, as bosses are usually invulnerable to anything but attacks to it’s defense flaw; a “flaw” is more accurate than a “weak point” due to the fact that bosses usually take many exploitations of these flaws to actually be defeated (Nintendo games are the exception, not the rule: most Ninny-tendo bosses take ONLY THREE EXPLOITS).

Second: Most say that Bouldergeist (Ghostly Galaxy) is the STRONGEST (No, Cirno, you (9)), but I personally found that the final fight with Bowser was the difficult boss fight (One: you don’t care about my opinion. Two: I finished the Daredevil run in like three tries.).

[Must replay this level to refresh my memory, will update later]

IMHO: Easiest Boss In SMG: Topmaniac (Battlerock Galaxy)

This guy is almost as wimpy as Petey Piranha (in the first galaxy), but for variety’s sake, it’ll be Topmaniac of the Topman Tribe. T-Man looks like a UFO.

Basically, T-Man has RAZOR SHARP EDGES. His only attack is a slow dash that is no faster than his regular movement speed (he leans forward and makes pretty sparks appear on the metal floor). If you touch his sides, you’ll take DAMAGE, a BAD THING that causes GLOBAL WARMING (joking; it actually, in heavy doses, causes Mario to have what looks like a migraine). So what can we DO? Hmm. T-Man appears to have a VULNERABLE, FLASHING RED SPOT on his HEAD, which unlike other bosses in SMG with head vulnerabilities, is not incredibly high off of the ground. What will Mario do?

—–

[     Fight    ]  [     Bag    ]

[Plumbers]  [     Run   ]

Bag: You have no items!

Run: You can’t run from a trainer battle!

Plumbers: You have no other Plumbermon!

Fight: [     Spin    ]  [   Jump   ]

[Run Into]  [Sepukku]

Mario used Spin! But it failed!

Mari used Run Into! But it failed!

Mario used Sepukku! Mario fainted!

-RESTART-

What shall Mario do? Say “Jump”, kiddies! *pause*

Mario used Jump! It was super effective!

—–

After Mario does a jump and lands on T-Man’s head, T-Man retracts his sharp spikes and turns very docile. As the arena is surrounded by a ring of electric wire, Mario only has to spin T-Man into the wire! (T-Man does recover after a fair amount of time if he is not zapped.)

“BZZ-ZZ-ZZ-ZZZ-ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ-T!” goes T-Man. T-Man jumps and lands in the center and releases three yellow, small tops. These tops, encountered earlier in the level, cannot directly do damage to you (…), but when they dash at you, they bump you backwards and stun you for like 1.5 seconds. They are killed by spins. T-Man, after his first round of electric therapy, does not change. Mario does some more jump-and-spinning, and T-Man gets his next round of zapping. This time, T-Man DOES NOT CHANGE HIS TACTICS AT ALL, but he releases RED, MEDIUM TOPS. These tops can also not do damage to you unless you jump on them, in which case you will take damage because of the fact that they have a spike on their heads. After doing the smack-on-the-head-and-zap-you-dead routine for the third time to T-Man, he blows up and releases A POWER STAR, which ends the level. Wimp.

IMHO: Most Obnoxious Level In The Whole _ _ _ _ ing Game Of SMG: Mario/Luigi Meets Luigi (Toy Time Galaxy: Purple Comet)

This is, IMH(and biased)O, the evilest level in SMG. Let me describe it.

This map is a remake of the Toy Time 2nd mission (Mario/Luigi Meets Mario), in which you are walking around on a huge, pixelated Mario made out of fairly large squares of lava (red pixels), disappearing tiles (green pixels), and rotating tiles (yellow). Mario/Luigi basically just runs around the “planet” of himself/his brother picking up 5 silver stars, making a power star, which ends all your troubles for the stage :D

In this stage, you are forced to pick up 100 out of 150 purple coins, most of which are inconveniently placed. The tiles have been changed slightly, as well. Instead of having the lava for red, which allowed you to bounce around with a flaming pair of pants multiple times, the lava is changed with what apparently is floating antimatter. Upon touching antimatter (note that this antimatter is acting more like quicksand), you drown in anitmatter. And on top of it all, you have a time limit that doesn’t happen to be very generous. To recap: about 1/3 of the tiles (green) disappear, and then you fall into a black hole if you don’t move quickly (usually to an adjacent green tile), which kills you. Another 1/3 of the tiles cannot be stepped on at all (purple), and will kill you, and the other tiles are yellow tiles that SLOOOOOOOOOOOOWLY turn and are very hard to stay on. In other words, hell. On a Luigi. IN OUTER SPACE! (I haven’t finished it yet >.<)

IMHO: Easiest Level In SMG: Painting The Planet Yellow (Flipswitch Galaxy)

Easy peasy. With some planning and the ability to jump, you basically walk on all the blue tiles, turning them yellow. Done quickly, it takes about 2 minutes or less. Note that there are spiked platforms, electric fences, and an shockwave generating robot. However, the planet is pretty small, and the galaxy has an exact, grand total of one planet and one power star. Note that the electric fences are easily jumped, the spiked platforms pause frequently, and the shockwave generator also makes waves that are easy to hop. Also, there are two coins on the planet, which heal health. Easy star.

A Note About Comets

All the major galaxies (having 3 main missions, two comet missions, and one or two secret missions) can be visited by “Prankster Comets” after progressing to a certain point in the game. There are 5 types of comets, most of them obnoxious.

  • Cosmic Comet: On the given galaxy, you race a Cosmic Mario to the star on a map. Usually there are no enemies. This is obnoxious due to the fact that you must perform almost perfectly to beat Mr. Cosmic, which is hard. Also, Cosmic boy is about the same speed as you, so catching up is very hard. Annoying.
  • Speedy Comet: On this galaxy with this comet, you have a time limit to finish the mission. This isn’t usually that annoying, but I HATE TIME LIMITS D:<
  • Daredevil Comet: This entails that you must complete a portion of a mission in the galaxy (usually a boss) with a maximum health of exactly 1. You cannot extend your health with a life mushroom, nor are there any coins to boost it up. This is very tense and is not recommended as a substitute for yoga.
  • Fast Foe Comet: The least annoying of the comets; all enemies move faster. Like Daredevil Comets, this only affects a specific portion of a mission.
  • Purple Comet: A display of the developer’s lack of creativity at creating comet names, the purple comet is one of the two comet missions for every major galaxy. Basically, you collect 100 purple coins hidden everywhere on the map. Sometimes there will be a time limit or extra coins. These rank just below Cosmic Comets in terms of evil. These comets are unlocked by completing the mission “Gateway’s Purple Coins”. Finding every coin requires a very accurate knowledge of where all the secrets on each planet are, which is precisely why IT IS OBNOXIOUS.

And thus ends this post.


An Organizational Voyage 11

…Yeah, who even cares about this anymore.

Anyways, as I still have not enough content (going to watch Episode 1 of Black Lagoon after posting this and browsing through forums though 8D), here’s just a list of what I want to do in summer.

As listing out everything would be too tedious, I’m just going to concentrate on ⑨ things, and rebump them when finished.

1. Work on a flash game. Attempt to finish it. (Obviously fail in the attempt).

2. Get to level 50 in Maplestory from level 0 by the 13th of July. I was going to attempt this, but… I’ve decided to quit, as it’s pretty pointless now. So instead of this, I’m going to finish Imperishable Night on Easy Mode for all 12 combinations starting with one life in both Final A and B. Why so much? Because I still suck too much to try normal mode. Or easy mode on any other game. >:O

3. Archive all files that need to be archived. Backup files. BACKUP THOSE FREAKING BOOKMARKS

4. Reorganize the blog. As you know, it looks sorta bare now, so I’ll probably just change the font type and call it “reorganized”.

5. Learn shorthand. Parents have been nagging at me to “write better”, so… shorthand. 8D

6. Have a decent understanding of Japanese and French. There are mandatory languages in high school, so I want to get ahead of them so that I can learn more.

7. Learn to draw stuff. I can’t draw stuff. I need to learn to draw stuff.

8. Remap keyboard to Dvorak layout. And then learn to type. Dvorak should be somewhat faster than QWERTY, and speed is all I care about so… yeah.

⑨. Be Cirno. …No.

And thus concludes a meaningless post that none of you had to read.

Hurrah.


O-NEG 6: Touhou 8: Touhou Eiyashou / Imperishable Night

ONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEGONEG…

[Wait, that looks like “one gone gone gone gone gone gone gone goneg…”]

[MUSHYHIJACK: Cause when you start playing this game you know you’re gone gone gone gone gone… to hell (that well off the coast of Finland)]

So, as mushy and darkflareknight (should cough should *expectantlookhere*) know, the Touhou series revolves around a series of characters who shoot stuff and stuff that is shooting at them, which is why they are shooting at the things that are firing (“What? They’ll kill me if I don’t kill them!”). Due to the fact that you have no health bar, you get OHKO’d upon coming in contact with enemy glowy-orbs (read: “Danmaku”, meaning “bullet hell” or “curtain fire” or “HOLY CHRIZZZZ…IZZLE…-O…-IO…-EIEIO…-” etc.

(Houraiguy takes a break here as he goes off to play Frantic 1, (http://www.kongregate.com/games/polymerrabbit/frantic) testing his skills in a hopeless endeavor to acquire an impossible badge. Status: Got hit on the FIRST STAGE. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU… but I finished Ep. 1 Frantic 2 on Frantic mode)

In Imperishable Night, you are tasked with discovering who committed THE UNPRECEDENTED SERIOUS AFFAIR in this game; namely that SOMEONE has done SOMETHING (Note: This happens for every single Touhou game, but only Imperishable Night does the following), which in this case is that AN UNKNOWN PERSON has DONE SOMETHING to the MOON, e.g. replace it with something false, e.g. a fake moon, on a certain day, e.g. the eve of a festival, e.g. a moon-viewing festival, which might affect it in some way,  e.g. make there not be a festival, and so on.

On the path to the place where the person who committed the USA, there is one (1) firefly (weak), one (1) night sparrow (eaten), one (1) teacher (regular), one (1) shrine maiden OR one (1) robber/magician/witch, followed by one (1) moon rabbit (suppos-), and either one (1) genius OR one (1) …person WHO COMMITTED THE USA in co-ordination with the genius and the supp…, er, rabbit.

Basically, you shoot people down while not getting  hit by the things the people you are shooting are shooting at you. This is pretty fun.

After completing the “Start” mode on any difficulty with no continues, the …person asks you to assassinate their rival, which you go and do (this mode is called “Extra Start”). Actually, you try and do it, but fail epicly in most examples. Before reaching the assassination target, who is immortal (something the equally immortal …person neglected to tell you), you have to beat the teacher AGAIN, except the teacher is more evil and is a were-something, and is stronger due to the fact that you replaced the real full moon in “Start” mode, so you beat down the teacher and meet the immortal, who fries you to a crisp in about 1 minute to 10 minutes, depending on how many bombs you have and how good you are at evading danmaku. Case in point:

That's one of the easy ones.

That’s one of the easy ones.

AND TO THE REVIEW PART

Gameplay: If you don’t suck, it’s pretty fun: 87/100

Graphics: Pretty good, nice effects. 93/100

Sound: Touhou music is the best music, hands down. SFX are also good. 100/100

Plotline: Just up there with the Mario games; sucks. -/100

Overall, it’s not bad to get: 92/100. At the very least, listen to Immortal Smoke.

And: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Nb5Ohbt1Sg: Extra stage actually finished.

Actually:


AN O-NEW CHALLENGER HAZ APPEAR’D and OTHER STUFFZ(ORZ)

[MUSHYHIJACK: I really need to stop micromanaging this blog :< Also, this is already too many 
authors to handle so :< once again. This post is unedited in any form whatsoever, save the next
 picture that he already drew for us. Yay. Also formatting screwed up.]

Hey, this is a new contrib here at O-New. As you will see if you took that effort to scroll down the
page to the bottom of this post, this post is by "houraiguy" (would have been HouraiGuy if WordPress
had let it, altho come to think of it HouraiSaigyouji is pretty cool too).
So, I kinda look like (not rly, but I need an avatar other than the the picture of Heaven's Punishment
"Star of David" (Touhou 6: EoSD Stage 6 Normal Boss: Remilia Scarlet: First Spellcard)

Do not compare me to Hourai, the doll. ):/

...That's a scoped SMG there. Kinda like a chainsaw with a laser pointer =.= I like watching videos on YOUTUBE and on YOUTUBE I watch videos of walkthroughs of games. Specifically, SSoHPKC walkthrus. Mostly I'll be posting things that are not being done by the other ppl. I only have a Wii, and on the Wii I only have 4 games, if you count Wii Sportz as a game. So, addressing the "OTHER STUFFZ(ORZ)" in the title up there, I am ranting about Wii Sportz and how it is considered a game and why it should not be considered a game. WII SPORTS AND WHY IT SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED A GAME First off, WS has exactly 7 modes. That's it. Half or MORE of these SUCK. Mode 1: Tennis. Tennis sucks because of rather CRAPPY motion controls. Also, you can't even control the movements of your Mii. They just CALMLY walk their _ _ _ es up to the ball as it goes bouncebouncebounce and such. Motion control is not really a problem until you start facing "pro" rating CPUs. Ridiculous, ridiculous. Basically all of it is "Time your swing right, and swing right", due to the fact that there is one control method: swing Wiimote to swing racket. The timing window is waaaay too big; and I play as controlling both players on my side of the court (O.o), which gives me another freaking chance, which gets lost after the pro CPUs come up. Mode 2: Baseball. Baseball is basically doing two things: Pitching and batting. No running. No catching. BS? Indeed. Batting is pretty much all about timing and angles; it's like tennis with a much smaller window of time and more emphasis for angles. Also, the fielders are REALLY good at catching stuff. Pitching allows you to choose 4 different types of pitches: Fast straight pitch (fastball), slow straight pitch (dropper, I think), medium pitch that curves towards batter, and medium pitch curving away from batter. The hardest part is really only the batting. Your fielders are beast :D Mode 3: Golf. This is actually okay (read: DOESN'T SUCK). The motion sensor, as always, is rather over-sensitive, but this doesn't start affecting gameplay until you reach the area where you need to use the putting thing. Mode 4: Bowling. Also okay for me, although my friends have trouble with the fact that the ball has a tendency to curve. As the motion sensing is more of a gimmick in this mode, positioning is key. Funnily enough, I suck at actual bowling. Mode 5: Boxing. This SUCKS. I used to like it, but that was when I was actually winning when I went all crazed-monkey-on-drugs-doing-spazzification-while-holding-onto-Wii-mote-with-Wii-chuk against the CPU. Jesus, that was funny. Aiming your punches is very difficult, and movement is kinda imprecise. Time ticks away at very fast speeds, and the KO system is really luck-based. I like how if you dodge punches well, there's some slow-mo effects which also appear when you do some powerful punches. Mode 6: Practice. A set of exercises that practice your skills in the above five modes. Some variants. OK. I kinda like the bowling activity where there's like 150 pins in some rounds :D Mode 7: Training. Picks three random exercises from the Practice mode and you do them. Sucks because 3 of the different categories for the practice activities suck., and randomness SUCKS even more. As many will prolly agree, Wii Sports is more of a demonstration of the Wii's abilities (yes I am quoting this out of something, I just don't know where) than an actual game. Twilight Princess is a game. Super Mario Galaxy (2) is a game. Wii Sports is NOT a game. And then, we move onto Wii Sports Resort. -.- I don't own WSR, as it happens, but from what I've seen it IS a game, but it isn't really worth the price. WSR is 50 bucks, but comes with a BONUS ATTACHMENT that uses the nunchuk slot that "helps detect motions". If you ask me, the "motion plus" attachment is just an excuse to jack up the price. Frankly, the price should be $25 to $35. Hell, I don't even know if the motions are INTERPRETTED any better. Although the Lightsaber duelling thing looks cool: I kinda think it sound similar to boxing up there. Heck, Nintendo, here's an idea free of charge (lol Yahtzee style- see Zero Punctuation: Phantom Hourglass): How 'bout you make a "power pack" that includes Wii Fit, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, 2 Wiimotes, 2 Nunchuks, 2 motion plus attachments, the Balance Board, the two plastic coats that go on top of the 'motes (not gonna say the nickname, as it happens to be named after a certain plastic object used by males), and a Wii. Why not throw in a plastic coat for the balance board, anyway? So you stuff that shipt together, and you sell it for $425. Easy peasy. Then you send me that bundle free. =D

Title: AN O-NEW CHALLENGER HAZ APPEAR’D and OTHER STUFFZ(ORZ)

Hey, this is a new contrib here at O-New. As you will see if you took that effort to scroll down the page to the bottom of this post, this post is by “houraiguy” (would have been HouraiGuy if WordPress had let it, altho come to think of it HouraiSaigyouji is pretty cool too).

So, I kinda look like (not rly, but I need an avatar other than the the picture of Heaven’s Punishment “Star of David” (Touhou 6: EoSD Stage 6 Normal Boss: Remilia Scarlet: First Spellcard)

(Onew Self Portrait)

Caption: [i]Do not compare me to Hourai, the doll. ):/[/i]

I like watching videos on YOUTUBE and on YOUTUBE I watch videos of walkthroughs of games. Specifically, SSoHPKC walkthrus. Mostly I’ll be posting things that are not being done by the other ppl.

I only have a Wii, and on the Wii I only have 4 games, if you count Wii Sportz as a game.

So, addressing the “OTHER STUFFZ(ORZ)” in the title up there, I am ranting about Wii Sportz and how it is considered a game and why it should not be considered a game.

WII SPORTS AND WHY IT SHOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED A GAME

First off, WS has exactly 7 modes. That’s it. Half or MORE of these SUCK.

Mode 1: Tennis. Tennis sucks because of rather CRAPPY motion controls. Also, you can’t even control the movements of your Mii. They just CALMLY walk their _ _ _ es up to the ball as it goes bouncebouncebounce and such. Motion control is not really a problem until you start facing “pro” rating CPUs. Ridiculous, ridiculous. Basically all of it is “Time your swing right, and swing right”, due to the fact that there is one control method: swing Wiimote to swing racket. The timing window is waaaay too big; and I play as controlling both players on my side of the court (O.o), which gives me another freaking chance, which gets lost after the pro CPUs come up.

Mode 2: Baseball. Baseball is basically doing two things: Pitching and batting. No running. No catching. BS? Indeed. Batting is pretty much all about timing and angles; it’s like tennis with a much smaller window of time and more emphasis for angles. Also, the fielders are REALLY good at catching stuff. Pitching allows you to choose 4 different types of pitches: Fast straight pitch (fastball), slow straight pitch (dropper, I think), medium pitch that curves towards batter, and medium pitch curving away from batter. The hardest part is really only the batting. Your fielders are beast :D

Mode 3: Golf. This is actually okay (read: DOESN’T SUCK). The motion sensor, as always, is rather over-sensitive, but this doesn’t start affecting gameplay until you reach the area where you need to use the putting thing.

Mode 4: Bowling. Also okay for me, although my friends have trouble with the fact that the ball has a tendency to curve. As the motion sensing is more of a gimmick in this mode, positioning is key. Funnily enough, I suck at actual bowling.

Mode 5: Boxing. This SUCKS. I used to like it, but that was when I was actually winning when I went all crazed-monkey-on-drugs-doing-spazzification-while-holding-onto-Wii-mote-with-Wii-chuk against the CPU. Jesus, that was funny. Aiming your punches is very difficult, and movement is kinda imprecise. Time ticks away at very fast speeds, and the KO system is really luck-based. I like how if you dodge punches well, there’s some slow-mo effects which also appear when you do some powerful punches.

Mode 6: Practice. A set of exercises that practice your skills in the above five modes. Some variants. OK. I kinda like the bowling activity where there’s like 150 pins in some rounds :D

Mode 7: Training. Picks three random exercises from the Practice mode and you do them. Sucks because 3 of the different categories for the practice activities suck., and randomness SUCKS even more.

As many will prolly agree, Wii Sports is more of a demonstration of the Wii’s abilities (yes I am quoting this out of something, I just don’t know where) than an actual game. Twilight Princess is a game. Super Mario Galaxy (2) is a game. Wii Sports is NOT a game.

And then, we move onto Wii Sports Resort. -.-

I don’t own WSR, as it happens, but from what I’ve seen it IS a game, but it isn’t really worth the price. WSR is 50 bucks, but comes with a BONUS ATTACHMENT that uses the nunchuk slot that “helps detect motions”. If you ask me, the “motion plus” attachment is just an excuse to jack up the price. Frankly, the price should be $25 to $35. Hell, I don’t even know if the motions are INTERPRETTED any better. Although the Lightsaber duelling thing looks cool: I kinda think it sound similar to boxing up there.

Heck, Nintendo, here’s an idea free of charge (lol Yahtzee style- see Zero Punctuation: Phantom Hourglass): How ’bout you make a “power pack” that includes Wii Fit, Wii Sports, Wii Sports Resort, 2 Wiimotes, 2 Nunchuks, 2 motion plus attachments, the Balance Board, the two plastic coats that go on top of the ‘motes (not gonna say the nickname, as it happens to be named after a certain plastic object used by males), and a Wii. Why not throw in a plastic coat for the balance board, anyway? So you stuff that shipt together, and you sell it for $425. Easy peasy.


E3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

E3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s the best thing that’s happened recently, unless you count the fact that Mushy and I are going to start to anipost on the summer season of anime.

Anyways, the gamers at E3 showed us some pretty neat stuff. I own a Playstation 3, so I didn’t really pay any attention to Halo Reach. Hey, don’t hate. Halo Reach must be good. Anyways, I focused pretty much on Guerilla and Hideo Kojima, and a little of Gran Turismo 5, since I need at least one good racing game.  Oh yeah, and I glanced at the Playstaion Move, since it looked…well…like a black stick with a ball on top.

^What can I say? What? It’s just a black stick with a colourful ball on top. >_> (No pun intended. Seriously. No pun intended)

Unfortunately, the Metal Gear Solid Rising trailer didn’t offer as much as I had hoped for. Then again, they’re working on Peace Walker right now, so you can’t really blame them. The great thing is Xbox people can taste how badass Metal Gear Solid is, because its coming out on Xbox too.

http://e3.gamespot.com/video/6265460/

OMG Raiden’s so badass…it’s interesting how much his…er…”badassness” evolves throughout the series. In MGS2, he’s pathetic. In MGS4, he’s a badass cyborg ninja that kicks frigging ass. Now in this one, he’s the protagonist, and he’s badass. He’s so badass that Hideo Kojima decided to switch from “Tactical Espionage Action” to “Lightning Bolt Action”, obviously because Raiden means lightning in Japanese or something.

For Guerilla, they showcased the future of Sergeant Sevchenko and his sidekick person, Rico. (No it’s not another Ratchet and Clank. >_> That game fails in my opinion) Alright, so because they killed Scolar Visari, they gained EXP, and is now able to use Close Quarter Combat. It’s so effing awesome, because it’s the first time you get to actually do something besides whack the enemy with the frigging butt of your gun. >_> Anyways, you can follow-up attack (SUPA COMBO) and finish him however bloodly you like. You can break their neck (classical), Falcon Punch (OH YEAH!), kick him off the side of a building (FALCON KICK!), and if you’re good enough, jump on top of them and stab a knife through their knife and twist it through their brain (oolala).  Obviously, this is a pretty good game. Hopefully, Guerilla has fixed those annoying glitchs in when you hit a checkpoint, you freeze and it breaks the mood.

http://www.killzone.com/kz3/hub.html

FRIGGING JETPACK ENEMIES FTW TAKE THAT WORLD!

A lot of people are gonna go “Oh, what about Kinect? It’s like the best thing in the world.” Kinect doesn’t make much sense. First of all, you can’t play shooters, because you don’t have a controller. (Unless they can track movement as small as a finger…no that’s impossible) And if they do introduce a controller, then what was the point of saying “NO CONTROLLERS”??? What no controller means is that you’re stuck with playing games that aren’t as hardcore as you would like. However, I admit, I would love to test out what I’ve learned in Martial Arts on that stupid dummy in that fighting game. Kick his stupid faic and his voice that goes “Sooooooo, back for more already?” like a stereotypical bad Asian kung fu warlord. >_>

For Gran Turismo 5, it looks pretty badass for a racing game, but all racing games look the same pretty much. But whatever. I’m prioritizing Killzone 3 above anything, so meh.

Anyways, good for those E3 game producers, and I’ll churn out a review as soon as I get my hands on a good game. (Though I’ll do a review on Killzone 2 first, even though it’s old. But hey, Killzone 3’s coming out, so I might as well refresh your memories. Same applies for Metal Gear Solid 4. ITS FRIGGING AWESOME THE GAME ALONE IS A REASON TO GET A PLAYSTATION 3 GET IT NAOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)


Some Gaming Post

[MUSHYHIJACK: This is actually a gaming post :P]

This is a filler, because the people of O-New don’t have much to say. However, there are a few discussion topics, so yeah that’s good I guess.

Alright so if any of you remember Arbiter and the Chief, season four is coming out on Youtube soon, so hooray for Jon and Microsoft Sam and Microsoft Mike!

Hard to believe, but the origin of the rotflcopter that goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI is from Arby n’ the Chief. The rotflcopter that doesn’t go SOI SOI SOI is from WoW.

In addition, Killzone 3 is coming out, and as I mentioned I’m a fan obviously. They uploaded a gameplay video, and like OMG you can like just jump up and stab the Helghast in the faic with a knife, and then break their neck. That’s like so badass like for a shooter. :D

http://www.killzone.com/kz3/hub.html

LOL Jetpacks are awesome.

Next on our list, we have the FIFA WORLD CUP starting. Thus, everyone’s going to be cheering for a bunch of different teams. I personally like Argentina, but w/e you guys can like comment and debate and flame each other. >_>

[MUSHYHIJACK: Well obviously the national democratic communist socialist united state-federation of the commonwealth of Antarctica is going to win…

^ Also, Dead Frontier 3D demo is out, but only to those stupid cash-paying n00bs. It’s just dead frontier 2D, with better graphics. Honestly I don’t get what’s all the fuss with it… I was seriously expecting a vertical view, where you could choose which part of the zombie to shoot, and the zombie isn’t just one dot, but actually something you can see. But no, AdminPwn’s too nooby to code like that. No offense.]


O-NEG 1: Snail

Look at that moon, it's too big

Thus begins the first O-New’s Next Entertaining Game (Review/Look/Advertisement) with a… game, Snail…!

“It is said that every full moon on a cloudy night, a small creature is granted a wish…”

And your goal is to make that wish come true, the wish for immortality!

He's grinding his teeth

You guide a small, slow, snail on its quest to NOM SIGN EAT EVERYTHING and in the process, possibly live forever…

It’s really not much of a game, more of an art-slideshow, yet the art isn’t so good either. It’s because of that, that its art isn’t professionally good and the game is basically tape your right arrow key to the keyboard, that it’s brilliant.

MUST. NOM. PLANTS.

I mean, look at this. This is so simple and cartoonish that it’s simply amazing.

Honestly, this can’t even begin to compare with the better games that are released, but we all need to relax once in a while and realize that a game, really is just, a game…

Sound was amazing too, though most likely not original. The ending slideshow was so good that I went through the game twice just to see it again…

All in all, it’s a great game if you just want to relax, but if you want something that you can actually play, I wouldn’t recommend this…

Gameplay, 5 or 9/10 (I mean, it’s so simple even trolls would understand, which is both good and bad). Art, 5 or 8/10 (Simplicity once again is a double-sided blade or whatever). Concept, 9/10 (Well, it’s… new, for me). Replayability 3/10 (The last slideshow is good, but…)

Argh that space it haunts me

Well, I suppose it does have more of a replayability if you just want to collect every last achievement…

On a side note, this is where I just want to smack Kongregate’s players in the face another time. With a spiked baseball bat.

Apparently, they’re ranting about how “Kongregate forced us to play this game”. Well, oh gee it must be the developer’s fault for making his game get badges because totally developers choose whether they get a badge or not. And, oh, I remember now, apparently getting all easy achievements was mandatory or else the Kongregate mafia would hunt you down and kill you. So that must be why you have to play this game.

If you don’t want to play it, just don’t freaking play it. Badges are badges. They are symbols that show you’ve completed something. Before, when you did something like finish the game, nobody would notice, but now they do because of badges. Badges aren’t something to strive towards. It’s a side reward after you do something.

Sure, you can say it’s not a game. But what’s the definition of a game? It’s something that requires user input. This requires user input. You need to press and hold the right button. Sure, you could say that that’s too easy to be a game, but what about sniper games? All you need to do is click the mouse! And tower defence, you only need to click the mouse multiple times as well! Besides, a game is a game, who cares about the definition? It got a badge, you probably got the badge, and if you hate the game keep your comments to yourself, because you probably only got there because of the badge. Honestly, in my opinion people who play games purely for badges should be disallowed to comment, for they are most of the time terribly biased. “Oh this badge is too hard 1/5” Yeah, good for you. The badge isn’t too hard. You just suck too much.

Well, at least the rest of Kong’s community are awesome enough to downrate the trolls who go “1/5” at everything. But still, that doesn’t do anything. Kongregate needs a paradigm shift past this badge-oriented activity and into actual gaming, when we’d play for fun, not rewards. If you play just for badges, that’s basically like a Chinese gold farmer, who plays because he has to. Now, he actually does have to play to survive but if you’re on a flash game site like Kongregate, where you don’t get any monetary rewards for playing, where’s the necessary incentive? What makes you “have” to play? If we cut down the internet connection, would you die because you didn’t get a badge?

Nope, sorry. Unless you were stupid enough to commit suicide.

Anyways, [/rant] and play Snail…! It’s an awesome game, but… well, let’s just say don’t play it if you’re running out of time…

Video:

^ Touhou melody remix…!

And then he became god :/


FREAKING TESTS WTF THIS IS MADNESS NO THIS IS SPARTA OH MY GAWD

OH MY GAWD I HAVE A TEST TOMORROW

AND I HAVEN’T STUDIED

AND IT COSTS OVER $100 TO REGISTER FOR IT

AND THAT MEANS IT’S PROBABLY A WASTE OF MONEY

AND I’VE GOTTEN 3 60.5%S IN A ROW NOW

AND IT’S AT 2:00

WHICH MEANS I CAN’T PLAY COMPUTER THAT DAY, BECAUSE IF IT WAS AT 9:30 I WOULD BE ABLE TO DO STUFF ON THE COMPUTER FOR 5 HOURS

WHILE SKIPPING SCHOOL

WHICH IN THIS CASE IS A BAD THING BECAUSE THEY’RE GOING ON A FIELD TRIP TO THE UNIVERSITY

TO DO STUFF

WITH A FREE SUBWAY SANDWICH

AND I’VE BEEN SELECTED TO BETA TEST SOMETHING

AND IT WILL ONLY BE OPEN

TOMORROW

AT THE EXACT TIME OF MY EXAM

LIKE IT STARTS WHEN MY EXAM STARTS AND ENDS WHEN MY EXAM ENDS

AND I HAVE ANOTHER EXAM NEXT FRIDAY

WHICH MEANS I’LL SKIP SCHOOL AGAIN

WHICH MEANS NO SPORTS DAY

AND I’M PROBABLY THE BIGGEST COORDINATOR OF THE SPORTS DAY EVENT

SO CHAOS IS GOING TO SPREAD

BUT WHATEVER

THIS IS SPARTA

links:

http://whitehouse.blogs.foxnews.com/2010/05/13/the-story-behind-the-mr-president-i-need-a-freakin-job-sign/

^ Some guy put a sign up saying “Mr. President, I need a freakin’ job” – here’s an interview with that person…

http://www.engadget.com/2010/05/13/android-2-2-froyo-to-include-usb-tethering-wifi-hotspot-funct/

^ …Android has usb tethering and wifi hotspot functions; obviously google > apple…

http://www.gamesbrief.com/2010/05/creative-marketing-targeting-google-adwords-to-find-a-job

^ Some guy used google ads to get a job, for $6.. O_o

^ I have no idea what song this is but this is epic. Nico http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm10632509

^ …TAM is still epic with a septette remix… I wish I had a violin ;w;


An Organizational Voyage 5

…And yes, as I mentioned in my previous blog post, Maple grinding is complete. I have reached level 30. YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

..Anyways, I still have a couple of trades to attend to, but Maple is almost completely off my list of stuff to do now….!

So for today and tomorrow, I’ll be browsing through forums, google reader (ahem over 1000 entries), and youtube; so I won’t really be doing anything productive…. WHATEVER

…School-wise, two important exams are coming up next week, like, spend-money important exams, so I /should/ be studying for them. Eh, I’ll do that later.

I’ve finished the first draft of my report, but need to finish it, and have 4 more assignments that are now overdue, and another project to start research on. However, I should be done with overdue stuff by the end of this week, as long as something like *cough cough* MapleStory *cough cough* doesn’t hold another event… By the way, I’m not addicted.

…Anyways, yeah… that’s the plan for the next few days. My desk looks messy as hell too, so I might want to organize that >_> Link (haven’t been doing anything):oyage

http://www.gamezebo.com/news/2010/05/04/zynga-leaving-facebook

^ Facebook is being evil, so zynga might withdraw and start their own system…


An Organizational Voyage 4

…It’s May~

Anyways, back onto the organizational track. I recently gained 3 levels (in one day :O), and so now I am level 27…

…The event ends on Tuesday (or Wednesday, I forgot). As Sat – Mon is X_X if I play, that leaves only one day to gain 3 levels…

…Fortunately, I’ve completed the Evan treasure chest thing, so now I have 7 free inventory spaces, and found that the ariant PQ goes up till level 30; so I can get to level 30 and then attempt to get the chair, dying once in a while to balance EXP.

Thus, my organizational voyage for maplestory is soon to be over.

…Unfortunately, my disappearance from other fields have… caused some.. discrepancies.

....Google Reader and Twitter extensions don't work past 4 digits...

…And yeah. So links:

http://infiniteunity3d.com/unity-game-development-essentials-the-first-unity-book-raise-the-bar-high/

^ …A Unity Guidebook has been released… check it out…?

http://washingtonindependent.com/83488/in-ohio-dems-rip-one-of-their-own-over-racist-remarks

^ Some people get angry at some guy mocking some indian guy with a weird name… AND IT’S POLITICAL AS WELL


An Organizational Voyage 3

…So now, my goal is MapleStory Level 30.

…I just got to level 24…

What I have now is essentially 5 days (I don’t play Sat-Mon) to gain 6 levels. This means that I’ll just need to gain 2 levels tomorrow, and one level every day after that…

…But here’s a snag.

I also need to finish the Ariant PQ (because I’m a collectible-fanatic), as well as the Evan Everyday Event and miscellaneous crap like that. Now, the crayons dropped for another quest only drop on Thursday, Saturday, and Monday, but that specific event ends on Sunday. So I’ll have to log on for 30 minutes during those days, which happen to be doable, suicidal, and suspicious, respectively (parents home, MapleStory = LOLWTF).

…Anyways, that’s my plan, and it’s not going to work, but WHATEVER :D

http://www.joystiq.com/2010/04/27/the-joystiq-indie-pitch-overgrowth/

^ ..An interview with an indie game developer…!

http://www.nasa.gov/home/hqnews/2010/apr/HQ_M10-064_ET_Telecon.html

^ NASA has a conference tomorrow about the search for extraterrestrial life…

http://tennantnews.blogspot.com/2010/04/hamlet-released-on-dvd-blu-ray-in-usa.html

^ Hamlet’s set to release on DVD and Blu-Ray… soon. I have no idea what they’re talking about. :/

http://www.680news.com/news/local/article/49001–more-than-7-200-charges-laid-in-spring-seatbelt-campaign-on-ontario-highways

^ …More than 7200 people were charged for not wearing seatbelts on Ontario highways…

http://afteractionreporter.com/2010/04/27/dwarf-completes-a-masterwork-thesis/

^ ..Some person writes their thesis on… dwarf fortress. LOLWUT

http://www.eso.org/public/news/eso1018/

^ They found where to put the “Extremely Large Telescope”! Yes, that’s what it’s called. Go science.

^ Marasy plays something… Argh parseeeeeeeeeeeee

^ …Rock paper scissors can cause people to go insane…


Heroes of Gaia 3

…That’s right.

Because I’ve been stressed enough with schoolwork, MapleStory, extracurricular work, MapleStory, forums, and MapleStory, I have decided to quite Heroes of Gaia…

…Thanks for all of you who joined the guild, x1ky2k. The guild will now be turned over to Gota, who is… awesome. I’ll leave all the organizing up to her (him?).

…It’s been nice, but I got the badge, and, well, I farm for badges. If there wasn’t a limit, I’d prolly keep on playing until my eyes died out, but I just have too much work (and it’s getting suspicious anyways)….

…So yeah. Thanks for joining and boosting us up to one of the top 35 guilds in Pandora; keep up the good work, and… well, separate the guilds when you need to :P Don’t say I didn’t tell you…!

…Goodbye.

(Oh, and check this blog out often, subscribe to my twitter, or add me as a friend on Kong… I’m not going to be inactive, just quitting HoG, that’s all).


An Organizational Voyage 2

…Alright.

So, I’ve completed the two most important assignments of the past week; however, I still have 2 overdue assignments, plus a report at the end of the week….

…Thus, my plan for this week is to make sure I have no overdue stuff.

Internet-wise, I haven’t looked at google reader for god knows how long, so I’ll have to get that done.

However, I have come up with a much larger problem….

…Maplestory’s event is ending.

Which means it’s time to grind up some 8 levels to level 30 so that I can get those limited time items! This will undoubtably drain my time, but I will stop as soon as the event is finished…

…yeah, noone’s believing me there, right..?

Anyways, the next few posts will be boring and contentless like this one… but whatever.

http://www.businessinsider.com/chart-of-the-day-monthly-active-users-of-various-widgets-on-facebook-2010-4#ixzz0mER70C7j

^ …Zynga (farmville, anyone..?) makes over $1,000,000… a day.


Links 6

…Really only one link here:

http://www.forbes.com/2010/04/21/environment-cleanest-countries-business-iceland-cleanest-countries_2.html

^ Iceland’s the cleanest country in the world, even with an active volcano…

….Anyways, it seems that I hit 70 views a day yesterday somehow; I think someone decided to browse through all of my archives. If you’re that person, tell me who you are >_>

I’m still working on my assignments, so that’s why there’s minimal content…

…Also, the maplestory event is ending soon, so I may have to concentrate on that as well… sigh.


Angry Rant

It’s been half a decade.

Half a decade since that weird, shiny, glowing box first came into my life.

5 years since I first learned how to “surf” the “Internet”.

115 weeks since I first played a “flash” game.

1800 days since my life started to collapse.

I’ll start with one, very simple statement: I hate my life.

It’s boring. It’s filled with work. It’s monotonous.

That I can deal with. Monotony is easy. Work is easy.

The straw that happened to crush my life was built. Slowly accumulated through the ages. I’m always hiding something from someone. Even as I write this rant (in school, it’s a wonder I’m not caught), I’m also perpetually blocking the sheet of paper out of view from everyone. I can’t tell things to my “friends”, I can’t tell things to my family, I can’t tell things to the Internet. It’s like a satellite in geosynchronous orbit; only one side ever faces each observer. And then, you still never know what’s inside, even if you circle the satellite once.

First of all, school.

I don’t hate school. I like school. I like schoolwork.

I used to hate it; 16 hour days just didn’t cut it for me (I wasn’t in high school yet). Work work work. Reflections. Notes notes notes. Reflections. Create create present. Reflections.

Ah, I remember the good old days with mind-boggling clarity. I didn’t hand in half of my assignments, was always late for class, and skimmed through the grades. And I still somehow got the “Award for Academic Achievement” for three straight years at the end (my teachers really suck at actually critiquing who’s the actual smart person). My parents always forced me to work work work, and I still didn’t complete everything correctly.

Now what?

I like school now, don’t I? What’s the problem?

Well, now, my parents are discouraging me from schoolwork. It’s fun, goddamn it, don’t you know the meaning of the word?! “Look at the other children” they would say, “they’re all playing with their friends, why don’t you go hang out at some person’s house?”

And do what? Play mindless video games on a console too expensive for me to own? Admire the endless rows of trophies each person has received? Get a ball kicked/thrown straight into my face, 5 times in a row? Yeah, guess what, that isn’t really “fun”.

Also, I don’t really have any “real” friends. Sure, they’re all friendly and stuff, and I return the favour, etc. etc., but does any one of them know what is actually going on inside my head? I’m probably more friends with internet people than them. It’s sad, I know; I have no real social life. But what is the definition of real anyways?

Is the definition of a real social life friends that you can see? People that live near you?

Language was invented for a reason; to convey messages. Read a novel; the people described in the novel aren’t your next-door neighbours, are they? But still, their feelings/actions/emotions/clothes that they’re wearing are conveyed directly to you. Talking with a person living somewhere in China is the same as talking to someone living next door. It’s talking. There is no real and fake; the person on the other end just has to be a human.

Anyways, so my parents basically stopped letting me do my schoolwork, just as it was actually getting /fun/. And what do they tell me to do now?
“Sign up for Skating lessons! Look at how good Yhsum is at Swimming! Sign up for that too! And Tennis! And Chess! And sharpening pencils manually using a kitchen knife because we have money to spare!”

….Yeah, too bad. Is skating really useful in life? Do you seriously need to learn skating to be able to become successful in life? Also, why would anyone even need a tennis coach? Did the first tennis coach have a coach? No. Then how’d he get so good? There’s something called learning by yourself; go look it up.

Also, just because Yhsum is so epically good at all these, does that mean I have to be of equal or greater skill level? Life isn’t a coupon exchange; firstly, I don’t need to be better than Yhsum, and secondly, none of those are necessaries to life. On the other hand, learning is. OH MY GOD REALIZATION MUCH?

Did I mention that I’m already signed up for some horrible lessons? One is Chinese, the infamous reason for my #SuicideSaturdays. You basically pay $600 a year (“because we have money to spare!”) so that the teacher can give you 3 $10 textbooks and teach you how to read them. For 2.5 hours.

How does this go?

Teacher: Hand in your homework!

[hands in homework]

[teacher writes a B on homework without reading]

Teacher: Read your books.

[read books]

Teacher: Alright, end of class.

..Do I really need to pay for that? Oh, I might be getting a bit exaggerated here. The teachers actually do some work. They create tests. Basically, they tell you to memorize every single lesson ever taught since you were in Kindergarten, write them down, and automatically give you a score between 0 and 80 percent based on how neat your writing is.

That’s not all. The teachers are just lazy, but the classmates are even worse. Everyone, with the exception of several awesome people, are either spoiled brats, extremely perverted (though not to the point of drawing certain images on danbooru), or genius brats. Meaning, super smart 4 year olds who don’t know how to walk without tripping over themselves, but can still get straight As. Did I mention those are the only people who ever get As?

Next activity: Music.

Same as homework: Me hate, mom forces. Me like, mom destroys.

At the start, I hated playing piano. Maybe it was the teacher. Maybe it was my mom. Or maybe, it was just me. It probably was. I must have been so stupid not to balance 7 pennies on one hand while drumming out one of Czerny’s etudes (did I mention I have 200 of these?) or to not be able to fit a mango under my hand (mind you, I was 7 then). Obviously, such stupid mistakes must be punished by my extremely caring mother: Iron clotheshangers and a needle were the ingredients to her therapy. Plural on the clotheshangers, as sometimes, they broke while swung at me. Piano was stupid; I practiced 4 hours a day, of which 3 hours and 50 minutes were Hanon’s (fuck you, Hanon), and 10 minutes were pieces that I had to memorize, one piece  a week.

And then I started liking it. I /enjoyed/ playing piano. It wasn’t torture anymore; it was a hobby.

Obviously, my mom turned from stabbing me to “OH GAWD YOUR PLAYING SOUNDS LIKE A WET SNAKE HITTING A MANGO ONTO A BROKEN DRUM”. She then banned me from playing piano because it was too noisy. I passed the exam with the same pieces with 80%. She then blamed me for my low mark because of lack of practice.

Oh, and for the first time, I could actually play piano /pieces/, not etudes. Sure, you might say repetitive 5 note melodies count as masterpieces, but in my opinion, they weren’t. Czerny went from repeated scales to actual, challenging melodies. It was fun. Also, I learned how to improvise and play several anime/game songs. Obviously, these were “noisy”, and so my mom would attack me with more clotheshangers (I have no idea why we never run out of them) whenever I play one. See, here’s one reason why I hide things from a certain party (in this case, my parents).

Finally, right now, she’s considering dropping my piano lessons. Why? Because it’s a waste of money. Oh, and obviously spending $600 on a useless waste of time isn’t. And learning how to skate isn’t either, because you’ll totally need to learn how to skate really fast to escape from an army of frantic Hungarians, if you happen to be teleported to the past when they had no arrows, had a pair of skates on, and were on a solidly frozen lake. On a side note, teleported isn’t in the dictionary.

Oh, my mom can’t get all the blame. I blame the world’s society for this.

We changed piano-playing from a pastime into a competition. I can’t talk to 10 people about piano without 11 saying “LAWL I PASSED 12 EXAMS”. That means you failed one, dumbass. Anyways, you don’t compare piano as a pastime anymore, it’s  acompetition. Sure, this is nice and all, but we’re not competing even for skill anymore. We’re competing to see whose parents has more money to afford exams. We’re competing for competitions. What that doesn’t make sense? Exactly.

Adding on to this, music theory is also another part of music. It was interesting, learning new concepts… until my teacher gave me 30 exams to complete. Mind you, each one takes 3 hours. What’s more, she defied everything explained in the official textbook with cheats for exams (not actual cheats, but minimize work cheats). At the end, I passed with 87%, an A. I didn’t learn anything.

Now it’s History I have to learn. Apparently, as long as the answer appears on the textbook, it’s correct. Fun fact: Haydn composed 106 sonatas. According to my teacher, that’s incorrect. Why? Because obviously, the textbook says so. Who cares about what the fucking textbook says? Here are the facts, this is the truth; if you can’t accept it, go rot in a well off the coast of Finland.

Civilization as a whole has evolved to a point where everything revolves around competition, marks, tests, exams, and the like. Actual comparison of skill and knowledge is a thing of the past.

Which brings me to yet another point, the topic of Kongregate badges.

Fuck them.

They’ve leeched at least 300 (SPARTA) hours out of my life now. I want to stop; I can’t. They already have Achievement Addicts Anonymous, but that isn’t gonna help me.

These badges are too damn addictive. What’s more, competition in Kong is all about who has more points; people stop playing a game right after they get the badge. N00bz adjust their rating based on badges: “0/5 awesome game but needs badges” consists of 98% of comments on Kong (the other 2% is spam). Yeah, games with higher rating get a higher chance to get badges; obviously, voting 0/5 (which you can’t, it goes on a 1-5 scale) will help it get badges a lot.

And speaking of comments, the world is full of spammers. Full of raters who think their opinion is valued over everyone else’s. Scroll down 30 comments in Kong, you’ll find 31 have a rating in them. Also, 31 of those commentors are under 13 years old. COPPA, folks.

Yep, COPPA. That dreaded demon of a law that apparently forbids underage children from participating in online activities. Thing is, it doesn’t help at all; people over 13 are over 13, yay, and people under 13 don’t know what that shiny checkbox means when it says “I am over 13, and I am smart as well”. Stupid people don’t understand what that checkbox means either. Then, suddenly, some 12 year old gets the urge to spam in Kong chat “I AM TWELVE YEARS OLD YOU ARE ALL N00BS HAHAHAHAHA”, and get insta-banned by the admins. All while 11 year olds are watching in fear of the day when they will suffer the pain of being banned. If those 11 and 12 year olds survive long enough to reach 13, they’ll obviously tell everyone in chat that; thus destroying the point of COPPA, to protect children’s privacy. As soon as they turn 13, everyone knows. Before that, nobody cares. If they didn’t have COPPA, most people wouldn’t even tell everyone their age, but because of it, everyone wants to after they turn legal.

Back to the previous topic, badges and addictiveness.

I just can’t drop something after I begin it; it took me two weeks to stop dreaming about Dream World and how a scoped vindicator graviton discharger of speed + 3 will eventually appear in the shop. This means that I have a massive amount of things to complete on the internet every single day.

Which makes me have almost no time for actual gaming at all. I go home. I finish my dailies (150 new posts in google reader, 15 new chess games, 20000 more tweets, 100 new forum posts, 20 more other forum posts, 500 more other forum posts, 10 more youtube videos, and 50 more games). After this, I have no more time for actually playing a game for the game, not the card, not the alpha, not to test it, not for the badge, not because it’s daily, not for the achievements, not because the developer wanted me to review it, not because a friend recommended it, not because there’s an once-in-a-lifetime event occuring, but for the game itself. Curse you MotK and your active userbase. <3 Gensokyo.org~

But I should still have so much time! Wrong. My parents have no idea what I’m doing on the internet, and thus disallow me to do whatever they think isn’t homework (which they don’t let me do anyways), or helping them type something up. I go by the old rule, ignorance is bliss, so I keep what I do a secret. This has put a ton of pressure on me over the ages; those 2 hours between end of school and mom coming home from work is always a mystery to my parents, as apparently, nothing happens then.

And now, my mom has a financial exam; my total computer time, including homework, has shrunk to 2 hours. It takes me 3 hours to finish my dailies.

My other family members are also annoying. My cousin can scream at at least 18,000 cycles a second at a frequency of once every half hour. The length of his scream is half an hour. His mom is his /slave/. I feel really sorry for my aunt.

Oh, and he cries if you throw some grass at him (at 18,000 hertz), and the wind blows the grass away. Even if you could sense something as minute as grass touching your fucking shirt, IT DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH YOUR SHIRT. Oh, then he tells his mom that I hit him with a lawnmower or something. Obviously, cause there’s no injury on him. I really just want to shove him inside that well off the coast of Finland with the rest of those people I told to go into the well.

My brother isn’t as annoying; he just punches and kicks me every single day. A lot. Thanks to him, I now have an iron head and light-speed defense skills. But before that happened, it fucking hurt. Thankfully, my brother is one of the few people I actually trust, introducing me to flash and gaming. I suppose that’s a bad thing, as because of him, my life is destroyed.

Also, my peers. I’m tired of having someone two year younger than me beat me at chess, homework, tennis, basketball, math, soccer, science, running, projects, socials… and then tell me that every sfive minutes. Oh, he can also takeback his moves in chess.

Not that I’m referring to anyone specific here. Also, facewashing + pen-stabbing my face and ribs, respectively, is a do not want. I really want to spaz out and attack some annoying people, but I won’t do that for another 5 years. I need to hold back my anger.

Finally, I hate my pencil sharpener and how a 10 cm pencil can magically become 1 cm in 3 seconds. This should release massive amounts of energy because of E=mc2, but it doesn’t, which makes me even angrier.

And now, my internet connection is fucking up. I hate how all the computers I have ever used in my life are shared. I hate how my parents stop me from looking at anything that isn’t pure white with black text. And to add on to that, I thus hate those forums (you know which I’m talking about) without a change skin option that uses pure black with white text. What does that even do? It’s unattractive. The text is unreadable. The contrast sucks. You can’t read it at school, at home, or at work without people asking you “Wth are you looking at?” It doesn’t even save energy, for I think the cathode rays emit equal amounts of light regardless of the actual colour. Also, it doesn’t seem professional at all. It just seems like one of those amateur freewebs sites that detail how good Yhsum is at math, and how we all suck at it.

Oh, freewebs. Remind me to make you go bankrupt when I have the power. Not only do you provide a horrible WSIWYG editor, but the skins suck, your websites are all amateur, n00bish creations with a repetitive background obviously copypasted with the wrong software.

The same things applies to youtube and twitter. I’ve seen hundreds of youtube channels/twitter backgrounds that consist of the same image being repeated several hundred times on one page. Not only is it unattractive and annoying, but it also must have used up a lot of your time to find the image. Spend some time. Get a good image. Upload it, make it full size. Or just stick with the default if you’re lazy.

Ah, twitter. The newest form of sucking away my life, slowly. Vampires don’t twitter. They bite.

Around 80% of my tweets consist of announcing I have posted a new post or “g’night” and “g’day”s. Before, I thought twitter was useless. Then, I found it fun and interesting. I’m beginning to think it’s useless again; doesn’t this remind you of ternary form? Even if it was rounded binary, it still ends on the A section.

My life started with me knowing nothing. Right now, I know too much. Will it end with me knowing nothing as well?

No, it will not. I’m not one of Beethoven’s sonatas, and I don’t plan to become one in the near future.

I hate my life. But I won’t change it.

Why?

Because this is my life. And I love it.


Heroes of Gaia 2

…It’s #SuicideSaturday, but I survived. Woohoo, chinese essay on anything you want. Chose to write about the possible practical benefits of having an increased understanding in the fields of quantum physics, and how those benefits can be utilized to increase the possibility and practicality of creating a permanent human colony outside of Earth, including the possibility of terraforming a planet, such as Mars.

…@_@

And about HoG

I used to play it, way back in December or something, when it first came out. Made a guild back then, x2ky2k, which was mildly successful. Rank 26 or something (out of liek, 1000 guilds). Then I quit, cause the game sucked.

Badges are out now, and thus I’m gonna play it again. This time, the guild is x1ky2k due to my new location.

3 hours have passed since I’ve made the guild.

We now have 13 members.

We had 10 members last time in the old guild.

…Anyways, links:

http://ow.ly/1oQDS

^ Politics. >_<

http://ow.ly/1oPSM

^ More politics. >_<

…I promise to add content later…


IRL PWN00bz

..This is a rant, as I don’t have any links…

…First of all, I’d like to point out that the FlashGameLicense Development Competition #5 and #6 is starting, tomorrow, at 1800 GMT (10:00 am, for me)…! Which is gonna be awesome! And I’m gonna attempt to mutilate a tutorial so that it’s actually my own creation! Without using any of the tutorial’s original code! :D

…Now that the :Ds and enthusiasm is gone, the rant.

[warning, the rant sounds more like a whine than a rant]

…So, this rant is about… well… relatives, basically.

…Well, recently, my mom has registered for a financial exam. Since, well, she’s my mom, my brother and I had to help her with that, so we did. …Unfortunately, my brother took charge of the operation, and used the computer I was using at the moment to do those tasks. In the process, he closed my browser, and somehow, made it impossible to reopen the tabs I closed. So, I was pretty angry at that, but that was no matter. …Anyways, my mom had to figure out how to get to a certain room in a certain building to take her exam (which is tomorrow). I told my brother that all she had to do would be to get inside the building and ask the receptionist (after all, a couple hundred more people are taking the test) for directions; but no, he obviously had to use google to search for a detailed map of how to TAKE THE ELEVATOR and ENTER A ROOM. What’s more, he also had to print the google map of the location of the building and the map, which he then spent 20 minutes polishing with MSPaint, which basically consisted of finding a print screen software, seeing my computer doesn’t have it, searching for another one on google, finding that my computer has a print screen software, using it, copying it to paint, closing paint, opening paint, erasing the text and unnecessary street names, copying it, closing paint, opening adobe reader, opening paint, copying it, saving it as a pdf, closing paint, opening the file in adobe reader, cutting it in half, copying the file to paint, cutting the edges, copying the file to adobe reader…

…and thus it continued for a very, very, long time. …And then he printed it! Hurrah! However, now my mom wants the review sheets for the test. After searching, I determined that the only review sheets costs at least $85, and thus I thought that was enough. But obviously, my brother had to continue searching.

…and searching.

..and searching, until he realized that the ONLY REVIEW SHEETS COSTS AT LEAST $85! Hmm… I SENSE A COINCIDENCE HERE. …And then, my mom realized she had another exam. In June. And so, she wanted the locations for that. …After a lot of searching, we determined the locations and the price for the exam, just to find that everything we’d looked at was for the American (hint, we’re Canadian) exam..! Finally, after some more searching, we found an article that stated everything we needed to know, and thus wasted another two sheets of paper printing the whole article out (did I mention that the title of the article took one sheet?) …So, after that, we gave the sheets to my mom. And she gets mad at us for being so slow.

…Now, here, I have two reasons why I’m sorta rant-y; one, most of the actions of my brother were redundant. Two, we were helping her sort out some tasks, and thus she should have no reason to get mad at us, for doing /her/ work.

…To me, my mom felt a lot like a n00b, for making us do very simple work, and then getting mad at the speed of it (which she obviously could have typed faster, herself, but she didn’t). However, instead of shunning her like normal n00bs, we were forced to obey her, as she had enough power to.. do stuff.

Which is to say, if you have that much power, and you can search it up faster than us, then WHY DON’T YOU? I mean, we’re doing you a favour here by searching it for you, saving some time, but why do you still have to be so mad at it? It’s not /your/ time we’re wasting, it’s our own time, thank you very much.

To continue this, I’d like to extend this to all people who you do work for that get mad at you. I mean, you’re doing work FOR THEM. What right do they have to get mad at you? Especially if the work you’re doing is voluntary or for free. I’ve met people like that, who shout at you for not finishing the work correctly/on time (which I would feel bad for, if it was a job), except, it was /voluntary/. Sure, we didn’t do it correctly, and we had to use a bit of OUR time to correct that mistake. Still, NONE OF THAT TIME was YOURS. So why should you get mad at us?

I suppose this made a little bit of sense, but I have no idea now…

EDIT: Well, it’s Saturday now, with… 16 minutes until the competition! AND FGL IS DOWN LOLWTF O_O_O___O_O_O_O