12 Days of Anime – Day 2: Mouretsu Pirates Episode 12
I picked this one for two reasons. The first is Troll of the Year. The second is favoring diplomacy even at the cost of entertainment value. I loved this episode because it demonstrates how Bodacious Space Pirates had the guts to do something few shows purposefully try: it was boring.
Mouretsu Pirates 26 [Completed]
And it ends.
I was about to post a 4000-word essay about Marika’s callous disregard of ancient Sea of the Morningstar culture, or about the failings of electronics and androids in a post-FTL-drive universe, or about the political drive for mercenary coalitions to protect Marika’s Letter of Marque, or about the inherent hypocrisy and ironic stupidity in Mouretsu Pirates’s anime execution, and then I realized…
..since this is the last episode, this is my last chance to talk about Mouretsu Pirates.
So why not talk about everything? No, that doesn’t mean I’ll post a 16000-word post (read my winter anime previews for a 12000-word post). Instead… what about a story?
It was a dark and stormy night. Unnamed-director-of-More-Sue-Pirates-who-is-most-definitely-not-Sato-Tatsuo-because-Sato-Tatsuo-directed-Mouretsu-Pirates, who shall hereafter be referred to as ‘Mackenzie Ulysses Svetlana Harjot Zdrojkowski’ to conserve space, lay dead at his desk. The television set behind him flickered feebly, rings of static fuzzing the display as a shrill voice cried imperceptibly the onset of the fourteenth episode of Mouretsu Pirates:
“It’s time for some piracy!”
The assassin looked over his work, but thought it ill-advised to continue deliberation. Shoving his fat ass through the open window, he sneaked off noisily in the night. In his sneakers.
The joke is that Barbaloosa is a loser. Then I realized that wasn’t much of a joke but I couldn’t be arsed to re-rewatch the episode. This caption has been expertly placed as stark contrast to the preceding paragraph.
Mouretsu Pirates 25
First of all, let me make things clear.
You guys all suck.
Nobody has joined my quest to enlighten the world of the true nature of ~sunglasses~.
Do not worry. I will return next season, stronger than ever, with more sun and more glasses and more tsu pirates. Actually, lesstsu pirates because Mouretsu Pirates is ending next episode. I can’t let this chance slip away, so I will use this post to finally persuade all you ignorant plebeians of the wondrous abilities of ~sunglasses~.
Mouretsu Pirates 24
Today, I will be having a good ol’ fashioned healthy friendly Skype chat with my good pal @NanoPulp. It may or may not be about Mouretsu Pirates, and I may or may not sound absolutely retarded. P.S. All these images are either a) ironic b) related to the discussion or c) dick jokes.
[10:29:49] NanoPulp: wait
[10:29:50] Mushyrulez: retsu
[10:30:00] NanoPulp: I CAN’T ENJOY IRONY?
[10:30:03] NanoPulp: BUT I LOVE IRONY
[10:30:04] NanoPulp: WHYYY
[10:30:06] NanoPulp: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
[10:30:09] NanoPulp: I LOVE IRONY
[10:30:10] Mushyrulez: I love irony too
[10:30:15] NanoPulp: ok great
[10:30:16] Mushyrulez: that’s why mouretsu pirates is a pretty darn good show
[10:30:18] NanoPulp: we love moeretsu
[10:30:19] NanoPulp: done
[10:30:22] NanoPulp: :3
[10:30:23] Mushyrulez: :(
[10:30:28] Mushyrulez: no, today I will explain to you why
[10:30:29] Mushyrulez: MOURETSU PIRATES
[10:30:32] Mushyrulez: is IRONIC and thus GOOD
Note: this picture is EYE-ronic because a skull’s eyes are already HOLES ha ha haaaaaaaa
Mouretsu Pirates 23
You’ve seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. Actually, hopefully you haven’t, because this post was actually published on June 14th, 2012 and totally not June 20th because why would I publish a post that’s already been published?? It doesn’t make any logical sense! :o
Anyways, hopefully, you haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days. This is because I did not write manga posts the past few weeks, and if you saw me, it would be writing an anime post. And that’s creepy regardless if you’re a O-New subscriber or not, for if you are, this blog is creepy, and if you aren’t, you ought to go drown yourself in a well off the coast of Finland. Bloggers. (psssssst click the link to understand this ~inside joke~ that’s not even a joke)
Regardless of whether you have or haven’t seen me writing about Mouretsu Pirates the past few days, there is no doubt that Master Chef is undoubtedly and indubitably radical squint
Mouretsu Pirates 22
You’ve seen me moping about being sick the past few days. Actually, hopefully you haven’t, because this post was actually published on June 7th, 2012 and totally not June 18th because why would I publish a post that’s already been published?? It doesn’t make any logical sense! :o
Anyways, hopefully, you haven’t seen me moping about being sick the past few days. This is because I did not go to school the past few days, and if you saw me, it would be within the confines of my own home. And that’s creepy regardless if you’re a family member or not, for if you are, this blog is creepy, and if you aren’t, you are creepy. Stalkers. (psssssst click the link to understand this ~inside joke~ that’s not even a joke)
Regardless of whether you have or haven’t seen me moping about being sick or not the past few days, there is no doubt that Show is undoubtedly and indubitably radical sick
Mouretsu Pirates 21
In moètsu Pirates Episode 21: the DINGHY SPACE LEAGE [sic] outwits the Biscuit Company.
P.S. That girl is the moè-est girl in the entire show. FUCK YOU NANOPULP, DROWN IN A WELL OFF THE COAST OF FINLAND
Bodacious Space Pirates Promotional Post
Prepare to be dropped by cyber entertainment on an internet-ional scale as Hentai Film-woks announces the impending upload of the synchronizing, hit space story BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES! What happens when Teen Nerds meet Computer Programming? Find out when Director Drew Houston returns to the familiar spaces of tragedy and international depression and deftly synchronizes the not-selling DROPBOX PIRATE novels by Arash Ferdowski in a folder to become an all new 26 episode anime masterpiece, while Y Combinator’s brilliant original funding is adapted for animation by the team of Drop and Box. There’s plenty of files and history revising ahead in the most storage-y adventure epic of the year, BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES!
Most families have porn files in their folders, but Drew is understandably shocked to learn that what his family has been hiding is more folders inside folders! And while the revelation that his late father was an accountant would have been earthshaking enough for most teenage boys, discovering that he was the employee of the notorious accountant firm Bent and Marrow will change Drew’s life forever. Because, you see, accounting is a family business, and he’s just inherited nothing at all. And his father’s former employer is quite intent on making sure Drew doesn’t care! So what’s a boy to do? Well, if you’re a high school student whose prior total storage experience has been repeatedly losing your USB, there’s really only one moral dilemma that has to be resolved: are students allowed to care about really stupid plot-lines? Get ready for internet-ional programming unlike any you’ve ever seen before as cyberspace gets downloaded by bored college students, bored high school students and the most boring person ever in BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES!
BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES will simulcast premier on O-New starting never at 32:00 a.m. Pacific Standard Rhymes (that’s on GM-Time). Additional digital outlets and TV broadcast will follow starting forever with DVD and Box-Ray to follow.
P.S. I’M SKIPPING SCHOOL THIS IS THE QUALITY OF POSTS YOU’LL GET
P.P.S. HAVE A COOL (read: nonsensical stream-of-consciousness mental regurgitation) AVENGERS POST TALKING ABOUT HOW IT SUCKED! actually no that’s not what I talk about I don’t even know what I talk about in that post
P.P.P.S. Charles Dickens was the father of the modern light novel INDEED. Look at this 19th century 40-year-old otamot! They’re like, J.C. Staff protagonists but three times older!
Mouretsu Pirates 20
I have literally never seen a cooler spaceship.
The pun is because out in space, everything is cold. Unless you’re next to a star. In which case it would be unbearably hot.
The pun is because out in space, bears
The actual posts are here (a post that compares Mouretsu Pirates to Avengers), here (an image that compares bread to coolest spaceships), and here (a post that talks about Sentai Filmworks licensing Mouretsu Pirates).
As a certain bunny would say, ‘That’s all, ignorant plebeians who just don’t understand how awesome sunglasses are.’
Avengers of O-New: Some Non-Anime Post
That’s right. Take the capital letters of that title, and what do you get?
AON’S NAP.
Wait, no, that’s not right. That sounds too much like ‘K-On’ to be on a blog like O-New, which is entirely safe-for-moè-haters and quite dangerous to moè. Take out the N, O-New’s supposed to be Onew anyways (but it isn’t, because Onew sucks.)
AO: SNAP.
…Oh snap. Time for an editorial post.
Mouretsu Pirates 19
There’s been few O-New posts lately.
So what’s a guy to do? Well, if you’re a high school student whose prior total literary experience has blogging a really crappy show about vapid braindead high school teenagers, there’s really only one moral dilemma that has to be resolved: are bloggers allowed to wear really short mini-skirts? Get ready for internetwork buccaneering unlike any you’ve ever seen before as the posts get delayed by laziness, boredom, and the sexiest words ever in BODACIOUS SPACE BLOGGERS!
…well, sorry, because a) that was the actual post b) Mouretsu Pirates is neither sexy nor bodacious c) my words are never sexy and d) this won’t be a Mouretsu Pirates post and e) this dearth of posts is due to various factors in my life such as nothing, laziness, nothing, laziness, and some Chinese school talent show competition that I’m apparently participating in. It is also due to various factors in my laziness such as reading this hyper-cool webcomic (that is literally hyper cool and avoids all tropes like the plague, the poop, and the protagonist) and this super-cool webcomic (that is literally super cool and avoids all Touhou canon like the poison, the pee, and the principal).
Mouretsu Pirates 18
They did, indeed.
I HAVE LOST ALL POSTING MOTIVATION and feel so tired it’s not even funny, even though I just took a nap. Seriously. This will be a post filled with faggotry, incoherence, and trite nonsense. Want to see a glimpse into the great(ly stupid) Mushyrulez’s mind as he rambles on about foreign cartoons? Well, look no further, because hopefully this will be the first and last post that does such a thing…
Mouretsu Pirates 17
Remember the day before yesterday, when I told you guys I’d have a surprise for you? Well, guess what?!
GUESS THE SURPRISE!!
No, the surprise isn’t having you guess the surprise; the surprise is something for you to guess. Frequent readers of O-New should know immediately. Infrequent readers of O-New should know momentarily. Non-readers of O-New shouldn’t know at all. Have a completely unrelated picture of pirates in their everyday pirate wear in my awkward attempt to show design critics that random pictures thrown into walls of text do in fact worsen the worsening reputation of O-New.
Mouretsu Pirates 16
Chef: “So, Monsieur Bonjour, how was la cuisine de notre restaurant?”
Monsieur Bonjour: “C’est très bon, Monsieur Chef. And now, I wish you a bonjour and a bon adieu.”
Chef: “Wait, Monsieur Bonjour! You are a true connoisseur of bourgeoisie cuisine, n’est pas?”
Monsieur Bonjour: “Oui. What of it?”
Chef: “Je would like to ask vous how my pie was.”
Monsieur Bonjour: “C’est bon.”
Chef: “Non! Pouvez-vous tell me more precisely?”
Monsieur Bonjour: “C’est… très bon?”
Chef: “Non!!! Je want vous to rate my pie, s’il vous plaît.”
Monsieur Bonjour: “Pardon, Monsieur Chef, but if I did that…”
(⌐■_■)
Monsieur Bonjour: “I’d be pie-rating.”
（ ´_ゝ`）ﾉ⌐■_■
Mouretsu Pirates 15
Well, guys, it’s time for one last rally up at the Aniblog Tourney. Shameful Otaku Secret is GOING DOWN~!!
How? THE BEST FUCKING SLAM POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE TOURNEY. And last tourney. And last last tourney, but that didn’t even happen.
Mouretsu Pirates 14
I’m sure all of you fervently read through my list of tags every time I make a post, and so, I do not even need to remind you that yes, indeed, Spring is here, and with it, the blogging of two more shows by our resident anime professional, AbsoluteZero255. However, this does not mean that I’ll magically stop posting about BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES. In fact, I’ll scientifically stop posting about Bodacious Space Pirates, since everybody knows that Science is the absolute moral antithesis of Magick, even though they’re not mutually exclusive or even contradictory. Nevertheless, both Science and Magick can bestow unwanted effects on the individual, including coughing, wheezing, sneezing, and breathing, even though ‘Science’ is just a method, and doesn’t ’cause’ anything to happen, and ‘Magick’ is also just a method, which simply leads to conclusions possibly contradictory to Science. What I’m saying is, don’t be like these people. Science and Magick are DANGEROUS THINGS.
Mouretsu Pirates 13
The final Mouretsu Pirates episode of this season AND IT’S LATE.
Please wait warmly, boys are now running outside in the mud even though it’s sunny and there actually isn’t any mud outside so I can’t make any farm plots to harvest plump helmets which is what I once did for five hours straight yesterday thus explaining the lack of a proper post
Mouretsu Pirates 12
Friends, comrades, enemies whom I wish to embed inside a well off the coast of Finland:
Today, we have gathered here today, as opposed to yesterday, and certainly not tomorrow, to discuss a serious topic.
This topic is: the absurd lack of sunglasses in recent anime blogs’ posts of Mouretsu Pirates.
Look at emperorj’s Mouretsu Pirates 12 post. Once an embodiment of all that is horrible mspaint drawings, emperorj has spent his past week in trite idleness, not drawing a single horrible drawing along the way. Look at Fosshizzel’s Mouretsu Pirates 11 post. Not only is there a terrible absence of any drawings at all, but he has not even deigned to reply to my thoughtful response!! What an atrocity! I don’t even know how many s’s and z’s are in his name! Mushyrulez is simple. One s, one z. None of that silly Musssshyrulezz business.
At least Shinmaru still knows what’s going on. Now if he continues to make horrible drawings, my respect for him will do naught but increase. However, if he fails to…
…
Mouretsu Pirates 11
It’s time for MUSHY’S SEMI-WEEKLY ANIME POST! It’s time to GET YA GUNS ON, because we’re BLASTING OFF for a journey into CYBERSPACE!!
Mouretsu Pirates 10
WOAH! Don’t look like Hyakume with his callous obstinacy! It almost looks like this post might be late! Not to worry, because Captain Daylight Savings Time is here to extend the time I have to post by an hour, except not really because time hasn’t been warped like it will be warped in the next episode of More Tsun Pirates. Observe how I shall embed a self-referential pun within the next few words:
Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 6
Sorry for the lateness, but I was so blown away by this post that I don’t even know what to say anymore.
Oh, actually, I do know what to say.
I WAS FUCKING RIGHT!!! HAHAHA!! PREPARE TO WADE THROUGH A THOUSAND WORDS OF ME SCREAMING IN YOUR FACE AS TO THE RIGHTNESS OF MY SPECULATIONS!!! Now, next thing you know, BRS really WILL become EXACTLY like Madoka, completely with derpy slice-of-life animation and awesome (?) fight scenes!!!! THE TIME HAS COME FOR O-NEW TO RECLAIM ITS PROPER POSITION AS A CERTIFIED good ANIME BLOG!!!!!!! Except I’m not certified since apparently, O-New isn’t aniblog enough to be invited to the aniblog tourney.
SCCCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMPPPPPPP
Mouretsu Pirates 9
You don’t say?
Well, I will now say.
Mouretsu Pirates is gearing up to be ~AWESOME~. You know how every single manga I’ve ever blogged starts to suck after I start blogging it? Even Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku isn’t what it once was. I must infect good manga with bad luck, or something. Really, after they start to suck, the manga I blog all end early – SWOT, Donten Prism Solar Car, Hand x Red, now Kagami no Kuni no Harisugawa, and soon, ST&RS.
But, you know how every single anime I’ve ever blogged starts to become ~AWESOME~ after I start blogging it? Even Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon turned out to be an ~awesome~ show that I’m getting HELLA PUMPED about next next season. I must infect bad anime with good luck, or something, Really, after they start to be awesome, the anime I blog all get sequels – Horizon, Steins;Gate, Beelzebub, and… uh… yeah.
Anyways, Majikoi genuinely became humorous(ly bad) after I started blogging it; Ben-To became the underdog of the season after I started blogging it; Black★Rock Shooter (TV) now seems somewhat decent (once you think of them as gearing up for a Madoka finale) after I started blogging it; and Mouretsu Pirates…
…is ~AWESOME~!
O-ASG 1: Mouretsu Pirates 8
[IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! ZUN GOT MARRIED! HALF A YEAR AGO! (EDIT: Fine, engaged, whatever). moral of the story: beer + making games where you control little girls shooting other little girls = marriage]
What does O-ASG mean, you ask?
YOU DON’T ASK! You comment. Nobody comments. So nobody asks.
O-ASG is an Organized Article of Supplementary Guides. Another possible abbreviation is ‘OrgASG’ or ‘RANDOMNES (oRgANizeD article Of suppleMeNtary guideS)’. Any relation to the Organization of Anti-Social Geniuses is purely coincidental, unintentional, and I was lying about that. There won’t be an images in this post, but there WILL BE LINKS. And it WILL BE A SHORT POST. So read on…
2012 Winter Anime First Impressions Part Two
Are you ready for a pun? Yes, you are.
See that sunset? Yes, you do.
When does the sun set? In the evening.
What time is the evening? Very late.
So. What’s this enormously late post going to be about?
The title says it’s going to be about ‘2012 Winter Anime First Impressions Part Two’. OK, so what does that mean? It means that this post is going to be about my first impressions of the anime airing in the winter of 2012. And this is part two.
Whereas part one’s shows all sucked, part two’s shows… well, half of them suck. The other half are decent. And then there’s one awesome show. But it’d be too disjointed if I just hopped around from one anime to another in this post, without any main thread in between. So this post is going to be about anime, and first impressions, and 2012 Winter. But it’s also going to be about Anime Club. That’s right, Anime Club.
So now you know what this post is going to be about.
Let’s begin.
O-New 
