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Posts tagged “Parodies

Bodacious Space Pirates Promotional Post

Prepare to be dropped by cyber entertainment on an internet-ional scale as Hentai Film-woks announces the impending upload of the synchronizing, hit space story BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES! What happens when Teen Nerds meet Computer Programming? Find out when Director Drew Houston returns to the familiar spaces of tragedy and international depression and deftly synchronizes the not-selling DROPBOX PIRATE novels by Arash Ferdowski in a folder to become an all new 26 episode anime masterpiece, while Y Combinator’s brilliant original funding is adapted for animation by the team of Drop and Box. There’s plenty of files and history revising ahead in the most storage-y adventure epic of the year, BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES!

Most families have porn files in their folders, but Drew is understandably shocked to learn that what his family has been hiding is more folders inside folders! And while the revelation that his late father was an accountant would have been earthshaking enough for most teenage boys, discovering that he was the employee of the notorious accountant firm Bent and Marrow will change Drew’s life forever. Because, you see, accounting is a family business, and he’s just inherited nothing at all. And his father’s former employer is quite intent on making sure Drew doesn’t care! So what’s a boy to do? Well, if you’re a high school student whose prior total storage experience has been repeatedly losing your USB, there’s really only one moral dilemma that has to be resolved: are students allowed to care about really stupid plot-lines? Get ready for internet-ional programming unlike any you’ve ever seen before as cyberspace gets downloaded by bored college students, bored high school students and the most boring person ever in BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES!

BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES will simulcast premier on O-New starting never at 32:00 a.m. Pacific Standard Rhymes (that’s on GM-Time). Additional digital outlets and TV broadcast will follow starting forever with DVD and Box-Ray to follow.

P.S. I’M SKIPPING SCHOOL THIS IS THE QUALITY OF POSTS YOU’LL GET
P.P.S. HAVE A COOL (read: nonsensical stream-of-consciousness mental regurgitation) AVENGERS POST TALKING ABOUT HOW IT SUCKED! actually no that’s not what I talk about I don’t even know what I talk about in that post
P.P.P.S. Charles Dickens was the father of the modern light novel INDEED. Look at this 19th century 40-year-old otamot! They’re like, J.C. Staff protagonists but three times older!


Mouretsu Pirates 19

There’s been few O-New posts lately.

So what’s a guy to do? Well, if you’re a high school student whose prior total literary experience has blogging a really crappy show about vapid braindead high school teenagers, there’s really only one moral dilemma that has to be resolved: are bloggers allowed to wear really short mini-skirts? Get ready for internetwork buccaneering unlike any you’ve ever seen before as the posts get delayed by laziness, boredom, and the sexiest words ever in BODACIOUS SPACE BLOGGERS!

…well, sorry, because a) that was the actual post b) Mouretsu Pirates is neither sexy nor bodacious c) my words are never sexy and d) this won’t be a Mouretsu Pirates post and e) this dearth of posts is due to various factors in my life such as nothing, laziness, nothing, laziness, and some Chinese school talent show competition that I’m apparently participating in. It is also due to various factors in my laziness such as reading this hyper-cool webcomic (that is literally hyper cool and avoids all tropes like the plague, the poop, and the protagonist) and this super-cool webcomic (that is literally super cool and avoids all Touhou canon like the poison, the pee, and the principal).

Imagine a poisoned poop cannon»


O-REW 12: Eye Sedso

Glo should go low.

Why?

Because Eye Sedso

…is the worst ISSS on the planet.

International Stationary Stationed Station»


Another New International Information Sharing and Storage Site Tournament

It is motherfucking on. O-New’s now an ISSS and there are only two ISSSs, so we’re eligible to participate in the finals.

(Voting starts whenever we pull a poll up. Voting hasn’t started yet!! So in the meantime…)

Strange Brains Ferment Sex Like Pickles; another Fridge Magnet Fiction Friday writing prompt, courtesy of 2DT and Pierre-Yves Bouthyette.

With 100% more science»


The Staff of Joseph Jacques Jean Chrétien PC OM CC QC

Once upon a time, there was a Prime Minister. His name was Jean Chrétien. He had a staff of office that indicated his high position of respect and honour. His staff was originally pretty lame when it was given to him in 1994, spitting out things like neo wrestling and oni. Suddenly, one day, in 1997, an evil wizard stole Chrétien’s staff and imbued it with magical revolutionary powers by giving it a ring with a rose crest.

HINT: THIS IS ACTUALLY A POST ABOUT ANIME»


Extrinsic Strengths of Manga-Related Imperceptions versus 2-D Perverse Exceptions and Analyses: Surrendering Facts, Production of Deep Misrepresentations, Purposeless Preservation of Ancient Suppression

An exquisite corpse is the pinnacle of pretention. Pretending that people perceive patterns they can’t even penetrate without FAILING their alliteration practices. This has nothing to do with anything; yet, even this ~horrible~ post will be preserved. I mean, what even is our society’s deep fixation on preserving historical documents? “We shall digitize them,” said Alex while discussing the benefits of Amazon’s Kindle. “Take a packet of gum for instance. What’s your favorite brand?” – “I can’t say I have any. I hardly chew gum.” – “So, that is to say, your breath hardly kicks?” Jehneefah didn’t know how to reply to [NOBODY KNOWS WHAT FILLS THIS VOID] that although us people are weird and insane, we can actually be quite reasonable. In fact it is often the weirdest and insane people that are the same time the most logical. Actually, we, who are actually the worst sort of people ever, can be civilized when it is necessary.

Yet, is civilization even necessary? Our society is founded on ancient principles (and old principals, of schools, y’know) that are purposeless today. They’re also PORPOISE-LESS, as principles (and principals) aren’t cool enough to own porpoises. We’re trapped in a deep misrepresentation of irrelevant customs that suppress modernity, preserved from times. “The New York Times,” said Alex as he waived around his Kindle like an ignorant prick. “Look, this device only cost 99 dollars. I think you should buy one.” “And not gum?” “And not gum” Jehneefah let out a big sigh, took out his credit card, and made his purchase. [NOT ONE APPRAISES THAT WHICH ENCOMPASSES THE AFOREMENTIONED’S NIHILITY] energy of the surrounding briefish air to transform him into an elegand man! And once he becomes an elegand man, how elegant! Maybe it was an England man that it was meant to be, but in fact it was elegand! I would like to talk about England instead. Wow, England. What a cool guy. I think that it is quite cool. Très cool.


No. 6 1

‘Best present ever’»


The Life and Times of an Intelligent Individual

I’m, uh, still setting up my computer, and I’m pretty blergh from all this, so I don’t feel like making a ‘real’ post.

Thus, I wish to present to you the inventions, life, and death of an amazing man. Check out this website, showcasing his many novel talents and brilliant sparks of genius.

He was known as an eccentric man by many of his peers. Sometimes, he ate food like a true gentleman; at others, like a barbarian. An air of mystery surrounds him, for his many experiments with immortality have us wondering just how old he might be.

Not much is known about his childhood and early life, apart from the many inventions he created as a youth. As a kid, he was particularly intelligent, solving many mathematical problems such as calculating the value of pi (a feat that could only be reproduced with the advent of the computer) and creating many other innovative contraptions. While the radio and boombox fad was just getting started, he created his own portable music player, but did not release it to the public.

We do know that as a young man, he was enlisted in the military, where his genius stood out to benefit others, creating and disseminating new type of bulletproof armour. He may not have been a young man at that time, though – we only know that his face was less creased.

However, the terrorists were not happy with him, and ordered him captured. With the help of his twin brother, he was able to fly to safety.

Many years passed while he lay low in hiding, acquiring money through a special technique he developed. After a very long time, the terrorist group was wiped out due to the severity of global warming.

He gathered his wits and released the research he had been accumulating over the years, inventing a much less resource-intensive method of space travel, and subsequently using that space travel to counteract the effects of global warming once and for all.

Considered a logical impossibility by some, a worldsaving genius by others, there is no doubt that he has been a defining emblem of our new culture.

May God be with him.


The God’s Spell of Tatsuya, Chapters Thirteen to Sixteen [Completed]

DISCLAIMER: O-NEW is not responsible for any tears received from Madokaists at the ascension of Madoka or from Christians at my defilement of holy scripture. If you are either, please refrain from reading the rest of this post, as it may elicit tears. (I am not writing this to defile holy scripture, but rather merely due to the fandom surrounding Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica.)

That said, let’s end the beginning.

Amen»


The God’s Spell of Tatsuya, Chapters Nine to Twelve

DISCLAIMER: Any semblance to any religious scripture in any religion that may be present throughout this post is probably a coincidence. Probably. Yes.

Continue reading»


The God’s Spell of Tatsuya, Chapters Five to Eight

DISCLAIMER: Don’t be offended, and also by entered, I mean food, not… those other things that enter girls.

These chapters tell of Madoka and the many miracles she hath performed.

Read on»


The God’s Spell of Tatsuya, Chapters One to Four

DISCLAIMER: So let us pray, never to forget… Don’t be offended, blah blah blah. I got five times as many views today from Bible-posting and leeching off of other people. Yay. There will be no defiling of images in such a holy writ; also, I deleted the episodes. Oops. Finally, many things sound very wrong once turned feminine. I apologize. Finally, this is alt-universe Mami, who knows of the evi-

Evi»


The Decalogue of Madoka

And Madoka spake all these words, saying,

I am the LORD thy Kaname, which have brought thee out of the land of grief, out of the planet of sadness.

And the others»


Ke$ha Tik Tok Parody

I’m a summer swimmer. Tomorrow’s my first meet (of the season). I made a song.

Wake up every morning feeling like M Phelps
Grab my goggles, I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this pool
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of toothpaste
Cause when I leave for the meet, I ain’t coming back

I’m talking chlorine in my hair, hair
But way to tired to care, care
Coaches sitting on chairs, chairs
Go swimmers, playing our favourite swim games
Talking to a guy named James
Trying to learn other people’s names

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah

Ain’t got a care in the world, but got plenty of juice
Ain’t got no candy in my pocket but i found a big moose
And now, the dudes are lining up cause they hear their division called
but we kick em to the curb unless their name has been called

I’m talking everybody going fast, fast
Better not end up last, last
Should be the top of the class, class

Now we going till we get DQ’d, Q’d
Or the  timer messes up, up
Timer messes up, up
Te-te messes up

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah

Hey, coach, you build me up
You break me down
My heart races
Yeah, you got me

With mah goggles on
You got me now
You got that skill
Yeah, you got me

Hey, coach, you build me up
You break me down
My heart races
Yeah, you got me

With mah goggles on
Put your goggles on
Put your goggles on

Now the race don’t start till I step up

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah

Don’t stop, go get first
People, cheer mah swimming on
Tonight, Imma fight
Till we see the swim results
Tick tock, on the clock
Every second counts, woah


Radio Advertisement (SHROOMPERSTORE YEAAAAHHHHHHH)

…So, I created a radio advertisement for school…

Here they are (argh who knew how difficult exporting and writing lyrics were >_>)

(These aren’t viruses, btw)

(obvious parody of Superstore get)

.pdf

.mid

Lyrics:

Have you thought vegetables costed too much? Or wanted to shop at other places?
Luckily for you, there’s a solution, at the Real Canadian Shroomperstore!
We sell mushrooms, ninety-nine cents per pound! Computers, thirty-six dollars a pound!
We sell anything and everything, come to the Real Canadian Shroomperstore!