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Posts tagged “stupideas

The Second Coming

On December 21st, 2012, the 13th Mayan Long Count b’ak’tun will end, exactly 1,872,000 days after the creation of the world on August 11th, 3114 BCE. It is the end of an old cycle, and the start of a new. Five b’ak’tuns before, Jesus Christ ascended to heaven.

What does this mean? The end of the world is not the end: it is the beginning.

The eve before Southern solstice, the NASDAQ Stock Market and the New York, London, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai, Toronto, Bombay, and Taiwan Stock Exchanges will simultaneously collapse as over 50% of investors scramble to exit the market in time for armageddon. The day will pass; nothing will happen, but the world will plunge into economic chaos, creating a global, decades-long depression greater than the Great one.

Amidst this chaos, a son will be born. And his name shall be Wonderful Counsellor, because he will become the world’s most prominent stock broker by trade. However, a Chinese communist propaganda minister will cross paths with him and indoctrinate him with purifying baptization into the glorious mother country or something. I don’t care if baptization isn’t a word and that you can’t baptize someone into a glorious mother country shut up

A rich mafia gangster will bribe the young… guy (no, his name isn’t actually ‘Wonderful Counsellor’) with wealth beyond his imagination; however, he will resist temptation because he’s communist and what’s money?

Then he’ll go around places and make people communist because capitalism killed the world. However, the politicians won’t believe a word he’ll say, and will soon enough inflict calvary incarnate upon his poor commie body. Then he’ll be like ‘hey I’m actually jesus reincarnated’, but nobody will believe him because Matthew 24:36.

THEN THE SKY WILL RIP OPEN AND GOD WILL BE LIKE ‘hey yo guys that’s Jesus ok’ and some people will be communist and eventually take over the entire world. Unfortunately, five b’ak’tuns later, people stop caring about economic beliefs in the new era of SCIENCE and vow to separate state from school. or something this sounded better at the dinner table

But Are They Human?

Last night (rather, this morning), AdjectiveRecoil divulged a surprisingly profound story concept:

[00:17:59] AdjectiveRecoil: It also involves AIs.
[00:17:59] AdjectiveRecoil: But they don’t know they’re AIs.
[00:18:03] AdjectiveRecoil: They think they’re real people.
[00:18:23] AdjectiveRecoil: And then suddenly, it is revealed to them that their entire world, their entire existence, has been a computer simulation.
[00:18:32] AdjectiveRecoil: And it’s about to be turned off.
[00:18:48] AdjectiveRecoil: Kind of like the Matrix.
[00:18:57] AdjectiveRecoil: Except that it’s not people, but machines we’re talking about.
[00:19:09] AdjectiveRecoil: And they want to exist.
[00:19:28] AdjectiveRecoil: So the dilemma comes up: are they real people, or just machines?
[00:19:34] AdjectiveRecoil: And do they deserve to live?
[00:19:41] AdjectiveRecoil: Or can they just be switched off?
[00:20:01] AdjectiveRecoil: Also, they can be very human, because they’re programmed to think and act human.

And so, today, I’d like to ask you all: would you be interested in this story? Has anybody written something similar to this before? What was the short story called? The whole ‘machines so complex they’re humans’ must have been written about somewhere, right?

a.k.a.: having no posts to write is sufferin’

Edit: OK, I remember the film giving me intense déjà vu around this concept: Moon, about a clone who thinks he’s a real human because he was implanted with human memories. They’re not machines, but it’s close…

Edit 2: Another has suggested the Thirteenth Floor, about [SPOILERS] a person and his conflicts with a virtual reality world, only to find out that his own ‘real’ world is also virtual, and that he himself is just an artificial creation, or something.

Edit 3: The Island is also about clones who think they’re actually human; however, their perception of life is woefully lacking, as they have no memories of their past, unlike in Moon.

Edit 4: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Androids_Dream_of_Electric_Sheep%3F, and its film adaptation, Blade Runner, deal with sentient robots, including one who believes she’s human due to implanted memories. However, the robots only have a four-year lifespan, most are aware that they’re robots, and they generally lack empathy (allowing them to be distinguished from humans by some sort of futuristic polygraph test). Nevertheless, the main character has many problems distinguishing between real people and androids, so…

The Staff of Joseph Jacques Jean Chrétien PC OM CC QC

Once upon a time, there was a Prime Minister. His name was Jean Chrétien. He had a staff of office that indicated his high position of respect and honour. His staff was originally pretty lame when it was given to him in 1994, spitting out things like neo wrestling and oni. Suddenly, one day, in 1997, an evil wizard stole Chrétien’s staff and imbued it with magical revolutionary powers by giving it a ring with a rose crest.


A Chronic Illness

So, what’re you here for today, son?

Eh? You say you’ve been feeling unwell recently? Must be this lousy weather we’re having. Rain and hail and the whole shebang. I guess you’re really feeling under the weather, haha.

C’mon, I was only joking. Here, let’s give you a temperature check.

Holy mother of cheese, your temperature’s almost thirty-seven degrees higher than the triple point of water.

What does that mean? Well. I’ve got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

See, the good news is that you’re not suffering from a chronic illness. Now, the bad news – I was lying about the good news. You’re suffering from a chronic illness.

You’re suffering from an ill chronicity

stupideas: reverse tsundere

Sorry guys with all the inactivity lately. I’m really bummed out from doing the Winter Season Previews, and with that International Baccalaureate entrance exam /and/ Chinese final exam today, I’ve got like two headaches and can think about as straight as a circle. Furthermore, I probably won’t have time to make posts tomorrow and the day after because it’s Chinese New Year; basically, I’m stressed out. Apparently, I also have low blood pressure and suffer from frequent spells of orthostatic hypotension. Huh, who knew (hint: not me).

So this is a pretty subdued post. I’ve no anime to watch and no manga to read; and even if I did, I wouldn’t be able to make a coherent post. Thus, it’s time for another episode of stupideas; but this time, without all those enthusiastic caps. I don’t have enough energy to press that shift button. Really. I make these capital letters by copying and pasting them from Wikipedia.

The main character of ‘reverse tsundere’ (yes, that’s the anime’s title, and yes, it’s not supposed to be capitalized) is, as you would expect, a tsundere. However, he’s male. He’s also ugly as hell. And nobody likes him, because nobody ever talks to him, and so nobody knows about his dere side, so everybody only sees him being tsuntsun. Which is annoying. And he’s also ugly.

One day, a transfer student comes in. She’s ugly too, and she has no personality whatsoever. Basically, it’s your average J.C. Staff anime but genderswapped and with ugly people. The transfer student is completely normal, except for her ugliness, which is a bit more ugly than normal. In fact, she’s the most ordinary person ever. After a while, nobody notices her either, because she’s so normal. The transfer student never speaks to the reverse tsundere, but secretly, she’s actually INDIFFERENT ABOUT HIM! And guess what?! The reverse tsundere is also INDIFFERENT ABOUT HER! AMAZING! WOW I broke my promise of not using caps sorry

After five years, they graduate from high school and go into separate universities. Then they get normal jobs and start earning money. The girl moves away to Canada, while the boy stays in Japan. The boy gets a wife and the girl gets a husband, and eventually they grow old. Finally, they die.

The end.

P.S. Even my site stats are telling me that my recent posts suck. I got half the number of views yesterday as I got in any day last week. My top searches were ‘anyways’ with three searches, ‘hess hitler’ also with three searches, and ‘anatomy manga girl’ with two searches.

tl;dr: I’ll finish writing my Mouretsu Pirates post and Steins;Gate posts later… (probably next week)


GBA: Great Begger Anastasius

Sorry guys; still working on my preview, so here’s a short post for today.

AND THAT’S RIGHT it’s time for yet another episode of STUPIDEAS, where stupid ideas come to die!

Today, our newest idea is courtesy of ME, the great MUSHYRULEZ, who is also your MC, your host, your broadcaster, your journalist, and not at all your friend. At all. Unless you write a post. gosh darn it houraiguy

Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was a young boy, as all young boys and normal boys were – young. But suddenly, he dropped out of high school and he was not so young and boyish anymore. In fact, he was an old, twenty-year-old man. His name was…


He had no job because he dropped out of high school and nobody wanted anybody who didn’t even have a master’s degree. He had no money because he accidentally threw all his money to homeless people, and he didn’t believe in bank accounts and debit cards. He had no kids because he had no wife, and he had no wife because he had no girlfriend, and he had no girlfriend because he had no life, and he had no life because he dropped out of high school. Nobody knows why he dropped out of high school, perhaps he’ll die.

spoiler: at the end he dies»



So one day, there’s this guy. He’s an idiot. Like he’s really stupid and doesn’t do anything well. He only has one ‘hidden strength’, which is his ability to garden. But that’s all, he doesn’t even know what the plants he plants are called or how to eat them, but he is able to magically plant REALLY STRONG PLANTS.

Anyways, on the last day of elementary school, he finds a BEAN on the street. Being the gardener that he is, he plants it.

After a year, the BEAN PLANT has grew into a BEAN PLANT. He HARVESTS the beans and, being stupid, eats one.

SUDDENLY, HE BECOMES SUPER SMART. He realizes that this bean will make him smarter, and selfishly decides to hide it so that nobody else can eat the beans. Thus, he kills the bean plant and stores all its beans in a box.

HOWEVER, after an hour, he suddenly is an idiot again, and promptly forgets what the heck happened, continuing to garden and shit.

Now, like ANOTHER YEAR LATER, his CHILDHOOD FRIEND forces him to join the school’s CHESS CLUB, which is in desperate need of members cause chess is a stupid game and only stupid people play it. Our main character, being an idiot, starts playing chess, which is all fine and well as only stupid people play it.

There are like three other members of the club, and one person’s like a SUPER SMART COOL GUY, and another person’s like A STUDIOUS INDIVIDUAL (i.e. a nerd who is not cool and wears huge glasses), and another person’s like A GANGSTER GUY who plays chess because of HIS DARK PAST. Anyways they don’t matter cause you can change their personalities whenever

They practice chess and quickly find out that our main character is an IDIOT, but they go to a team chess competition the next day anyways. It’s a 5 on 5 tournament with each person facing another person in two rounds of chess, and our main character is the last one to play. He loses both matches to his opponent, but because his team’s so good, the final score is still 5 – 5, so a tiebreaker game must be played… by him.

He finds a BEAN in his pocket (somehow), and being extremely hungry and an idiot, eats it.

SUDDENLY, HE’S SUPER SMART and he easily decimates his opponent, letting the team advance to the next round.

His childhood friend briefs him on what happened, and he realizes that he only has, I don’t know, 60 beans left, and each of them only last an hour. Finding that he’s actually has a passion in chess, he devotes much of his time to studying chess.

Eventually, three years later, it is the WORLD NATIONAL INTERNATIONAL CHILDRENS’ YOUTHS’ TEENAGERS’ HIGHSCHOOLERS’ CHESS COMPETITION TOURNAMENT MATCH! He uses up almost all of his beans to beat their opponents in each round until the last round, where he only has three beans left. However, his opponent takes a lot of time for each move, and although he draws one round, he ate all of his beans to get that draw.

So, without beans, he must use his OWN BRAIN POWER on the final match. However, he realizes that HE’S ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD AT CHESS NOW, but still can’t beat his opponent, who takes a lot of time and plays extremely solidly and traditionally, sticking to Classical strategies.

As the tables turn away from his favour, our main character starts to panic, but because of THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP he KEEPS HIS COOL.

Finally, just as he’s seemingly about to lose with his opponent unleashing an UNSTOPPABLE CHECKMATE, he throws ALL OF HIS PIECES at the enemy king, and wins the game with a completely unexpected CASTLE, which CHECKMATES the enemy.


…he’s still an idiot.


Quick post.

So after reading BakaTest 16 with Kirishima doing all that, I just got a great idea for a new hit shounen manga: MARITAL ARTISTS.

So these MARITAL ARTISTS are like MARTIAL ARTISTS except they MARRY PEOPLE. And first it starts off with the main character being like a priest or something, but when suddenly an evil person CRASHES this wedding, the priest realizes that he has to SAVE THE DAY, and he uses his KON FU powers to defeat the MARRIAGE CRASHER.

And then after a lot of incidents like that he meets another MARITAL ARTIST who introduces him to the land of marital art, and they do epic battles and shit. Eventually the protagonist will become the world’s best marital artist so that every single rich person in the world wants to be married by him, and people are getting divorced so they can get married by him again. And then MARITAL ARTISTS COME FROM MARS and the protagonist has to battle them with like BIBLES and HOLY WATER and WEDDING CAKES and yeah.

Also, because all good manga must have memorable secondary characters, the main guy will have like this archrival marital artist who tries to become a better marital artist but always fails, and this helper-marriage-person who helps marry people by like organizing the wedding and all that. And then there’s going to be this professional lawyer guy who knows about law and looks really cool who does all the law stuff and when the MARTIAN MARITAL ARTISTS come he like hits them with law textbooks and screams OBJECTION at their faces LIKE A BOSS. Of course there’s also going to be this evil marital artist who marries people against their will for money, but eventually when the martians come he’s going to be good and marry people for good too.

This isn’t actually going to happen… or will it?!

P.S. @Glo and Nyarth, Sukunai is the funniest shit I’ve read since Beelzebub, which is like only 1.5x better.