We’re losing pretty badly.
But not all hope is lost. Indeed, Operation Lose 0% – 100% Against Shameful Otaku Secret is no longer a possibility, as Polldaddy doesn’t even let me change my vote from a misclicked Shameful Otaku Secret to O-New, even though we are totally the more QUALITY blog. You could even say, ‘the moe quality blog’, except you can’t because we’re not moe.
There is still an incentive to vote for O-New. After a losing start with 16 votes to 0 (one of those votes was me), we gradually climbed up until eventually reaching the 30% – 70% we have at the moment (it sure would be interesting seeing a graph of our progress). Imagine how cool it would be if O-New actually BEATS Shameful Otaku Secret! It’d be the greatest Tortoise vs. Hare match in the HISTORY of the Aniblog Tournament! But that’s not incentive enough.
So. We’re upping the ante. Except not really since there’s really nothing hanging on the line at all. On that note, do check out the ~updated~ Aniblog Betting iFAQ (which is like a FAQ but it’s made by Apple, not Microsoft). Now, off that note…
If we win against Shameful Otaku Secret, I will personally allow them to write a post about anything they fucking want to on O-New. Furthermore, I will draw fanart on whatever they want me to draw, as well as an obligatory O-REW to their ugly little blog. I mean, sure, I know, O-New’s design sucks (you’ll notice that our design will rapidly change within the course of the next few hours; this is also another tactic in our ongoing battle to appeal to the masses!), but look at their design! It’s actually even… uh… well actually it looks pretty good. Hot damn, I wish I could steal their design. :<
But wait! That’s not all. Do we look like we’re selling ourselves out? Well, we actually aren’t because only I’m selling myself out, and I’m only representative of 14.285714285714285714285714285714% of our writers. We will offer a free (not that I’ve ever made un-free ones) piano transcription of any anime song they want. Yes, granted, I suck at transcribing and I’ve only ever transcribed two songs, but WHATEVER, MAN. WHATEVER.
Yes, I realize that even they can’t really do anything if they wanted (haha! sometimes even I laugh at my own jokes) these things, since votes are immutable and fixed, but… at least we’re the most popular match. In fact, today, we’ve got three times the number of views we’ve got yesterday. Even if we lose, I still hope more people will read our ramblings~!
P.S. Not that our ramblings are particularly interesting or even half as humorously sarcastic as Shameful Otaku Secret’s
P.P.S. If this is a war of who can Emperor J better, I totally win; I mean, even he gets more comments than I nowadays D:
P.P.P.S. At least, if any average anime fans come around and are disgusted by Shameful Otaku Secret’s intelligently unintelligible language, they’ll choose O-New as the lesser of two evils. Sure, maybe we’re pretentious compared to, say, Reiseng (do vote for him, by the way!), but if pretentiousness were an animal, ours’d be ants compared to Shameful Otaku Secret’s GALAXIES of pretension
[Post-Post Edit: I suppose Operation Beat Otou-San has officially failed! We don’t even have a chance at winning anymore. Oh well, vote for us anyways, you know you want to. We’re not otou-sans. I think that’s reason enough to vote for us! (ok, so maybe it isn’t, whatever)]
Hello, friends, strangers, enemies, comrades. Primarily strangers.
Welcome to O-New. The home of Aniblog Betting (which you should definitely join if you haven’t already).
You are no doubt here for the Second Aniblog Tourney, and as to not delay your time, this post shall be as swift as the lightning following a cat. For the record, a) lightning does not follow cats b) lightning that does follow cats would necessarily be slower than the cat c) cats are slow. Sorry about that. Or, as they say on Saturn, ‘Sorry about cat!’
O-New has three main defining points that make O-New O-New.
(Alternate Title: Staking Chances on a Competition of Senseless Animation Vituperations, Organized by a Naïvely Egotistical Writer, Part Two)
(Alternative Title: Wow, Look at This Super Cool Temporary Theme I Will Be Using for the Duration of this Tournament Because Otherwise, I’d Lose to Otou-san & Co. Near-Instantly)
I chose not to go with the alternate title since a) ANIBLOG BETTING literally screams at you and I would literally scream at you in real life b) the alternate title is too long c) I already have a post called that d) ANIBLOG BETTING just sounds cooler. Also, ANIBLOG BETTING could be an acronym for ‘A Nice Italian Bakery Loses Our Gold, Because Eating Their Taiyaki Is Not Gratifying’. Sure that doesn’t have anything to do with ANIBLOG BETTING but it DOES, because ‘A Nice Italian Bakery Loses Our Gold, Because Eating Their Taiyaki Is Not Gratifying’ can be shortened to ANIBLOG BETTING.
BUT WAIT! Surely there must be some reward for winning this that isn’t just pride. And indeed there is! The first place winner will receive the chance to write one (1) COMPLETELY UNEDITED post on O-New, a post that I won’t even read before publishing. In it, you can write ANYTHING YOU WANT, embed ANYTHING YOU WANT (as long as it’s not hardcore porn), and generally yeah, do whatever you want. You can talk about how Mushyrulez really sucks. You can write about that super cool hentai anime you just watched (but take notice: O-New is currently a child-friendly blog!). You can show us just how horrible this entire idea is.
BUT WAIT! That’s not all! Do I sound like an annoying TV advertiser yet? If yes, GREAT because that’s who I’m going to be. The first place winner will ALSO receive a FREE O-REW, free of charge. Completely free. Not like there are such things as paid O-REWs, anyways.
BUT WAIT! That’s not all! You will also receive a complimentary DRAWING of ANYTHING YOU WANT (but take notice: if you tell me to draw porn, I’ll draw prawn instead)! The second place winner will receive an O-REW and a complimentary drawing, and the third place winner will receive either an O-REW or a complimentary drawing. Of course, if you don’t want any of these, just tell me, but if you do… YOU BETTER PARTICIPATE, and SPREAD THE WORD so that you can actually bet with people you actually know!!
Observe: THE FINAL BRACKET of the Tourney, which contains all the MATCHES for ANIBLOG TOURNING!!!!
Observe: THIS ORIGINAL POST, which contains all the RULES for ANIBLOG BETTING!!!
Observe: A LIST OF PARTICIPANTS, which contains all the PARTICIPANTS for ANIBLOG BETTING!!
Observe: Oh right, I have to write that list! Here it is (ordered REVERSE-ALPHABETICALLY because we’re hipster like that):
The Aniblog Tourney.
Surely you have all heard about it.
Guess what we’re going to do?
We’re going to bet.
We’re going to bet on the Aniblog Tourney. Yes, we’re going to be Staking Chances on a Competition of Senseless Animation Vituperations, Organized by a Naïvely Egotistical Writer. And that’s me. I’ll organize this SCCSAV:O-NEW. All you guys have to do is bet.
Always bet on JP (Hinano)»
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming…
So, my summer swimming season is nearly over, all of the normal meets have been completed, the regional meet has also been completed. The only thing left is Provincials, after that, I’ll be able to get fat and eat ramen with mushrooms all day.
50 Butterfly: 11th place
This event, I completely failed at, I’m not really sure why and how I failed. My coach told me I have like perfect technique, the only thing was, I wasn’t going fast enough. Most of the people in my division are going to division 5, they won’t ever get to swim this again. I, however, still have another year, in the mean time, I’ll continue to do crunches, sit ups and leg lifts.
100 Backstroke: 2nd place
I planned to get a medal in this event, me and 2 other people in my team were within milliseconds of each other, we had no clue what order we would end up. Turns out I got 2nd :D
100 Breastroke: 7th place
I have no clue why my coach entered me into this event, I was terrible at stroke. I was originally 8th but then one person got disqualified, therefore making me ranked 7th. In finals, I kept my position.
100 Freestyle: 2nd place
I hate this event, 100 meters of freestyle. It’s really tiring, too much effort is needed. Anyways, I came in ranked 5th and went out ranked 2nd. I think I did pretty well.
Overall, this year was like a trial year, I still have another year in this division, next year, I’ll be pwning…
[First, an announcement: The Aniblog Tourney, which I mentioned briefly a really, really, long time ago (way back in the time of links and fillers… well, there’s still fillers now cough cough), has finally ended, with the winner being Star Crossed Anime Blog!]
DO YOU SEE THAT? Yes, it’s A NEW OP with a remix of the SAME SONG! AND IT’S AS EPIC AS THE FIRST ONE.
BECAUSE ROBERTA’S BLOOD TRAIL IS AS EPIC AS THE PREVIOUS TWO SEASONS.
This OVA has to do with ROBERTA and her BLOOD TRAIL WOW HOW AMAZING
She decides to put RED MASCARA on when she was a child and became SAD. So when she became an adult, she put MORE MASCARA ON because what the hell am I saying
In all seriousness though, Roberta seemed to be captured by some US troops in 1969 of the Vietnam war. This hints that she in fact, isn’t Columbian to begin with – but was rather born in Vietnam and then moved to Columbia to kill people.
It then jumps to 26 years later; 1995. Roberta has returned from her… excursion over at Roanapur, when suddenly, DIEGO LOVELACE (the head of the family) IS SHOT TO FREAKING BLOODY DEATH
By who? Obviously by some suicidal idiot, because Roberta’s going to kill their whole organization. But it’s not just some suicidal idiot – it’s the FREAKING UNITED STATES SPECIAL FORCES. They had to assassinate an enemy general but Diego was on the platform at the same time when they BLEW UP A BOMB
She reflects on her past when Diego took her in because if he didn’t people would look at her funny
She tells us that there’s no reason why people kill other people – and so she doesn’t even say that killing the US forces will be vengeance, but rather that she just wants to kill them.
The people of Roanapur notice that ROBERTA IS BACK
AND THEN A MAID COMES INTO THE YELLOW FLAG
…And then she stabs some gangster in the balls with a knife in her foot.
AND THEN SHE USES A PAIR OF MAG-7S CONCEALED IN HER SLEEVES TO SHOOT EVERYONE
AND THEN SHE TAKES A PUMP ACTION CHINA LAKE NATIC AND SHOOTS EVERYONE
And then the bar collapses.
So the maid’s called FABIOLA and she’s looking for RAVIOLA
And she bursts into a hotel ROOM where she finds a BROOM
…actually she finds that Chang’s in there but whatever
So she takes a GUN and stops trying to make weird PUNS that are actually really bad RHYMES but CHANG is so awesome that he DISARMS her singlehandedly. Literally.
Anyways Fabiola reveals that ROBERTA is methodically KILLING EVERYONE, even American NSA COLONELS.
They ask Rock for his help, and only his help, not the rest of Lagoon. Nevertheless, Rock learned from his experiences that they would obviously and completely fail.
The oddly nostalgic ED then plays.
I’d expect a lot more fanfare over this, even though the next episode’s coming in September (the ⑨th, Cirno Day AND the first one year anniversary of this blog). There’s everything you need for a great OVA – Lots of action, even in the first episode, some odd bits of humour (Bao and that Cartel guy playing tug-of-war over the telephone), historical moments (foreshadowing? Or maybe just more background information we never knew before), and “a clear attempt to give more depth to Roberta.”
The latter is obvious with the large amounts of backstory and possible hints of insanity (I mean look at her eyes @_@), but I don’t know if it’ll be enough; it seems to me that Roberta’s “depth” is basically that she’s some insane bloodhound that wants to kill the United States. I, for one, would like to see her actual motives revealed; noone does something for no purpose. That’ll most likely happen at the very end when she slowly dies after killing the United States people but with a bullet in her [insert vital organ here] while rain falls slowly in the background.
“It’s hard for me to put a finger on, but something feels like it’s missing here.” I thought somewhat the same, and after some thinking, I realized – the characters are basically the same as what they are when the show started. Rock’s been in Roanapur for a year – if you were a businessman living in the world of normality and suddenly were plunged into the criminal underworld, stuff would happen to you after a year. The realizations he’s had during the previous two seasons aren’t really showing up much in this episode. The “frightened Rock of season 1 is back”, quite obvious especially with his reaction to Fabiola’s request.
Nevertheless it was still, a great opening to what should be a great OVA.
^ THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO FIREFOX WHEN IT CRASHES >:( USE CHROME
^ Yay for Pokémon physics :/
^ FREAKING MAPLESTORY HAS FREAKING K-ON IN IT. GOD JAPANESE MAPLESTORY IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN GLOBALMS :< Seems to be old news but :< :< :<
But we can't end this without a word from our sponsors…
Costco, that's all you need to go to!
…That’s right, t3h aniblog tourney is starting…!
I may be a bit late on this, but whatever.
Anyways, it’s a 96-site tourney with a ton of different rounds; the winner gets… something. The sites are chosen from anime blogs across the ‘net, but since I don’t really watch that much anime anymore, I only know a few.
So check out the site for details and vote; next year, I might decide to start writing stuff on anime, but now I’m just too X_X
…er, why is this post so short? Because I’m putting links in the next post >_< This post is just to inform you guys of the tourney…