O-New: Now Extinct Website

Posts tagged “Tournaments

O-New: Week in Review

I SAID I WAS MAKING A BACKUP PLAN BUT I WAS LYING BECAUSE ASSORTED EXPLORATIONS IS NOW AN ISSS TOO

“Wait, what the well is he talking about?” you won’t ask, because all of you already know. WELL GUESS WHAT EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE ALL ALREADY COGNIZANT OF THIS HUMILIATING SITUATION I’LL SHOUT IT IN YOUR COLLECTIVE FACES ONCE MORE:

O-New (that’s this ISSS, the coolest ISSS on the ‘net), is in a monumental tournament against every single ISSS (information sharing and storate ‘site) in the UNIVERSE. Too bad there’s only two; O-New and Eye Sedso, some kind of sick Rie Kugimiya porn cult. Thus, we are pitted against these ignominious perverts (even though only one person authors Eye Sedso) in the final match of the year.

AND THEN ASSORTEX COMES IN

AND RUINS EVERYTHING

tl;dr: it’s been a tough week for az and me; sleeping on the couch and doing nothing at all is really exhausting! You see… it’s really quite strenuous doing nothing all day, so once a week I write a post that sums up all the previous seventeen weeks’ posts in true o-new fashion: by writing them.

Unfortunately, the only two half-decent posts written within the previous seventeen weeks were this appalling performance of three Satie masterpieces and this analysis of The Right Honourable Joseph Jacques Jean Chrétien’s Rie Kugimiya porn collection.

And now, I’ve got some piano recital nonsense coming up, so if you’ll excuse me, NO MORE ELOQUENT POSTS FOR THE NEXT SEVENTEEN WEEKS


O-REW 12: Eye Sedso

Glo should go low.

Why?

Because Eye Sedso

…is the worst ISSS on the planet.

International Stationary Stationed Station»


Another New International Information Sharing and Storage Site Tournament

It is motherfucking on. O-New’s now an ISSS and there are only two ISSSs, so we’re eligible to participate in the finals.

(Voting starts whenever we pull a poll up. Voting hasn’t started yet!! So in the meantime…)

Strange Brains Ferment Sex Like Pickles; another Fridge Magnet Fiction Friday writing prompt, courtesy of 2DT and Pierre-Yves Bouthyette.

With 100% more science»


The Aniblog Tourney, or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Admit That O-New Sucks

Well.

As we enter into the month of May, it’s now been two weeks since our round against Shameful Otaku Secret, and Round 2 has officially started! I put an exclamation mark there, but it’s not an exclamation mark of excitement; it’s an exclamation mark of HATRED. And DISGUST. And O-NEW.

So, in fact, the word is ‘unwell’, not ‘well’.

Unwell.

Umwelt»


Commence Battle Operations!

We’re losing pretty badly.

But not all hope is lost. Indeed, Operation Lose 0% – 100% Against Shameful Otaku Secret is no longer a possibility, as Polldaddy doesn’t even let me change my vote from a misclicked Shameful Otaku Secret to O-New, even though we are totally the more QUALITY blog. You could even say, ‘the moe quality blog’, except you can’t because we’re not moe.

There is still an incentive to vote for O-New. After a losing start with 16 votes to 0 (one of those votes was me), we gradually climbed up until eventually reaching the 30% – 70% we have at the moment (it sure would be interesting seeing a graph of our progress). Imagine how cool it would be if O-New actually BEATS Shameful Otaku Secret! It’d be the greatest Tortoise vs. Hare match in the HISTORY of the Aniblog Tournament! But that’s not incentive enough.

So. We’re upping the ante. Except not really since there’s really nothing hanging on the line at all. On that note, do check out the ~updated~ Aniblog Betting iFAQ (which is like a FAQ but it’s made by Apple, not Microsoft). Now, off that note…

If we win against Shameful Otaku Secret, I will personally allow them to write a post about anything they fucking want to on O-New. Furthermore, I will draw fanart on whatever they want me to draw, as well as an obligatory O-REW to their ugly little blog. I mean, sure, I know, O-New’s design sucks (you’ll notice that our design will rapidly change within the course of the next few hours; this is also another tactic in our ongoing battle to appeal to the masses!), but look at their design! It’s actually even… uh… well actually it looks pretty good. Hot damn, I wish I could steal their design. :<

But wait! That’s not all. Do we look like we’re selling ourselves out? Well, we actually aren’t because only I’m selling myself out, and I’m only representative of 14.285714285714285714285714285714% of our writers. We will offer a free (not that I’ve ever made un-free ones) piano transcription of any anime song they want. Yes, granted, I suck at transcribing and I’ve only ever transcribed two songs, but WHATEVER, MAN. WHATEVER.

Yes, I realize that even they can’t really do anything if they wanted (haha! sometimes even I laugh at my own jokes) these things, since votes are immutable and fixed, but… at least we’re the most popular match. In fact, today, we’ve got three times the number of views we’ve got yesterday. Even if we lose, I still hope more people will read our ramblings~!

P.S. Not that our ramblings are particularly interesting or even half as humorously sarcastic as Shameful Otaku Secret’s

P.P.S. If this is a war of who can Emperor J better, I totally win; I mean, even he gets more comments than I nowadays D:

P.P.P.S. At least, if any average anime fans come around and are disgusted by Shameful Otaku Secret’s intelligently unintelligible language, they’ll choose O-New as the lesser of two evils. Sure, maybe we’re pretentious compared to, say, Reiseng (do vote for him, by the way!), but if pretentiousness were an animal, ours’d be ants compared to Shameful Otaku Secret’s GALAXIES of pretension


Aniblog Tourney II: the Tournament of Anime Blogs

[Post-Post Edit: I suppose Operation Beat Otou-San has officially failed! We don’t even have a chance at winning anymore. Oh well, vote for us anyways, you know you want to. We’re not otou-sans. I think that’s reason enough to vote for us! (ok, so maybe it isn’t, whatever)]

Hello, friends, strangers, enemies, comrades. Primarily strangers.

Welcome to O-New. The home of Aniblog Betting (which you should definitely join if you haven’t already).

You are no doubt here for the Second Aniblog Tourney, and as to not delay your time, this post shall be as swift as the lightning following a cat. For the record, a) lightning does not follow cats b) lightning that does follow cats would necessarily be slower than the cat c) cats are slow. Sorry about that. Or, as they say on Saturn, ‘Sorry about cat!’

O-New has three main defining points that make O-New O-New.

Read more!»


ANIBLOG BETTING

(Alternate Title: Staking Chances on a Competition of Senseless Animation Vituperations, Organized by a Naïvely Egotistical Writer, Part Two)
(Alternative Title: Wow, Look at This Super Cool Temporary Theme I Will Be Using for the Duration of this Tournament Because Otherwise, I’d Lose to Otou-san & Co. Near-Instantly)

I chose not to go with the alternate title since a) ANIBLOG BETTING literally screams at you and I would literally scream at you in real life b) the alternate title is too long c) I already have a post called that d) ANIBLOG BETTING just sounds cooler. Also, ANIBLOG BETTING could be an acronym for ‘A Nice Italian Bakery Loses Our Gold, Because Eating Their Taiyaki Is Not Gratifying’. Sure that doesn’t have anything to do with ANIBLOG BETTING but it DOES, because ‘A Nice Italian Bakery Loses Our Gold, Because Eating Their Taiyaki Is Not Gratifying’ can be shortened to ANIBLOG BETTING.

ONWARDS!

BUT WAIT! Surely there must be some reward for winning this that isn’t just pride. And indeed there is! The first place winner will receive the chance to write one (1) COMPLETELY UNEDITED post on O-New, a post that I won’t even read before publishing. In it, you can write ANYTHING YOU WANT, embed ANYTHING YOU WANT (as long as it’s not hardcore porn), and generally yeah, do whatever you want. You can talk about how Mushyrulez really sucks. You can write about that super cool hentai anime you just watched (but take notice: O-New is currently a child-friendly blog!). You can show us just how horrible this entire idea is.

BUT WAIT! That’s not all! Do I sound like an annoying TV advertiser yet? If yes, GREAT because that’s who I’m going to be. The first place winner will ALSO receive a FREE O-REW, free of charge. Completely free. Not like there are such things as paid O-REWs, anyways.

BUT WAIT! That’s not all! You will also receive a complimentary DRAWING of ANYTHING YOU WANT (but take notice: if you tell me to draw porn, I’ll draw prawn instead)! The second place winner will receive an O-REW and a complimentary drawing, and the third place winner will receive either an O-REW or a complimentary drawing. Of course, if you don’t want any of these, just tell me, but if you do… YOU BETTER PARTICIPATE, and SPREAD THE WORD so that you can actually bet with people you actually know!!

Observe: THE FINAL BRACKET of the Tourney, which contains all the MATCHES for ANIBLOG TOURNING!!!!

Observe: THIS ORIGINAL POST, which contains all the RULES for ANIBLOG BETTING!!!

Observe: A LIST OF PARTICIPANTS, which contains all the PARTICIPANTS for ANIBLOG BETTING!!

Observe: Oh right, I have to write that list! Here it is (ordered REVERSE-ALPHABETICALLY because we’re hipster like that):

  1. @trzr23
  2. @TofuZz
  3. @TCManila
  4. @shiroyume_
  5. @ReisengRath
  6. @redball
  7. @predederva
  8. @nichdel
  9. @Inushinde
  10. @iamValence
  11. @dmckafka
  12. @AvuKamu
  13. @absolutezero255