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Posts tagged “zoom zoom zoom

Hah! The Rake, You Mowed Someone 8

The rains were a drizzle on the sidewalk. Red, orange, blue; seventeen rainbow colours dotted the streets in increasingly psychedelic displays of unnatural diversity. On the top of my porch, on the top of my wall; there they lay in the mid-autumn day of mid-fall.

There lay I, musing late in the autumn day, gazing off southward. A solitary rake, leaning askew on an old yew, old as you. Perched precariously between the branches it lay and lied and lies. Lies, sharp lies, white lies, bitter lies. How can you not know, rake? How can you?

Unfortunately rakes are not cans so they can—not.

It began that day in mid-autumn, a lonely thing, leaning and leaning so far she could drop and fall forever and nobody would notice. The swirling colours blinded and dazzled, a reflection of the times to come. Broken, unwanted.

Dust in the wind.

I never wanted her. Sitting cozy at home, wending the shores of the 24 Hours, through distant rains I crossed and checked. 3-Across: Groundbreaking innovation? Womanizer.

Then she started to fall.

Then she started to winter...

Nature has no feelings. Nature does not see our sights, does not breathe our air, does not walk the stairs and talk the bears and balk at rares. In the mass of spinning leaves, my eyes reverting from the south, dropt.

The ground, incarnadine, as she dropt, all purpose-like, as if her destiny were to destroy and destruct and detonate. As she fell and flew and shattered all around her.

Hah!

The rake, you mowed someone.

Cause both lawnmowers and rakes are garden implements! Right??


Cats are a cool 猫-sama 7

You know that really cool guy you want to be when you grow up? The guy with the hair and the teeth and the lips? The guy who does all those things you’d expect really cool guys to do, and more?

Well, I think I’ve met my future.

Just try to imagine yourself 10 years in the future here. Actually, don't, the guy in the picture looks much better than that.

And the nametag?»


Cataracts Maou-sama 6

Nadie espera a la Inquisición española. And nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition to represent the Spanish Inquisition, either. Sure, they’re not actually Spanish, and they’re not actually inquiring into anything, but that’s alright…

Alternate image: All LEFT, you moron!

I think your face is all wrong»


Worse Larks Online 11

A modern epistolary article, by Mushyrulez.

Dr. Christian F. Clean
Argus Entertainment
666 Gr Ave.
Hell’s Gate, BC

April 1st, 2022

Mr. Mackenzie U. S. H. Zdrojkowski
555 Park St.
Vancouver, BC

Dear End-User Customer:

I am pleased to inform you that your application to be a Beta Tester for Sword Art Online has been approved by our customer services department. This letter summarizes your responsibilities in the implementation of this Beta Test. Attached please find the detailed Terms and Conditions of this Agreement. By creating an account for Sword Art Online, you accept these Terms and Conditions.

As a Beta Tester for Sword Art Online, you will:

1. Participate in Sword Art Online for a minimum of twenty (20) hours every week;
2. Agree to submit all physical/emotional usage statistics to Argus Entertainment, Inc.;
3. Actively search for ‘bugs’ existing in the Beta implementation of Sword Art Online;
4. Swear complete secrecy on all aspects of the Beta Implementation of Sword Art Online;

Argus Entertainment, Inc. waives responsibility for all nervous damage caused by the Beta Implementation of Argus Entertainment, Inc.’s revolutionary NerveGear™ product. By accepting the Terms and Conditions attached, you permanently suspend all prospective emotional damage lawsuits that may be caused by your imminent death by electromagnetic combustion. Argus Entertainment, Inc. permanently reserves all rights related to this Beta Implementation of Sword Art Online.

Sincerely yours,

Christian Felix Clean

There's only one 'i' in 'Yui'!

[BUG REPORT #000023]

SUBMITTER: mzdrojkowski1
DATE: 20220402204022
VERSION: SAO0.000.092b
SUMMARY: Sword Art Online is not letting me be a moè girl with only one eyeball.
DESCRIPTION: I really want to be a moè girl with only one eyeball.
STATUS: WONTFIX
REPLY: You are a fucking retard.

I want to be a moè ball with only one girl»


Commando Flare on posting duty

OH MAN,INTERNET POSTS!!!

Hi! My name is Flare and for today I decided to go ahead and make a post with some random crap. Also, my name is Flare!

So…it’s 9.50 PM here right now, and I am staying in front of my laptop while thinking what the hell should I write about in this post.At first I thought that maybe I should write again about the Unpopular-girl-Manga-thing-Mushy-lemon,but…I don’t know.The last chapters that came out were really bad in my opinion and…the recent doujin works based on the project that I saw made me hate it even more.Yeah…I HATE IT!!!You know, this is pretty common for projects.In most cases, once they become popular, both fans and the author/s start to **** on the project hard.HARD!

…and this is why the best “Gems” are the ones that are hidden well.

I also thought about writing some stuff about NEET-ness, but the idea sounds pretty stupid and…there’s already Mushy’s posts so why bother?

[Short opinion about Anime seasons.This season-Bad/Poor/Weak Next season-Awesome-o-fantastic!]

Writing about video games-not a good idea too, since video games are pretty bad thing.This is why I am following my dream of being a super villain who makes video games to waste the life time of others.[Not really!]{Video games are not bad and are not a waste of time.If you look at things logically, in the end all things will be a waste for a person when Mr.the reaper comes and steal his/her briefs/panties.}

“Ahhh…the sh**y posts we read”! -By Flare

 


Mouretsu Pirates 25

First of all, let me make things clear.

You guys all suck.

Nobody has joined my quest to enlighten the world of the true nature of ~sunglasses~.

Do not worry. I will return next season, stronger than ever, with more sun and more glasses and more tsu pirates. Actually, lesstsu pirates because Mouretsu Pirates is ending next episode. I can’t let this chance slip away, so I will use this post to finally persuade all you ignorant plebeians of the wondrous abilities of ~sunglasses~.

>:»


Mouretsu Pirates 21

In moètsu Pirates Episode 21: the DINGHY SPACE LEAGE [sic] outwits the Biscuit Company.

P.S. That girl is the moè-est girl in the entire show. FUCK YOU NANOPULP, DROWN IN A WELL OFF THE COAST OF FINLAND


Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 12.5

Well, in the selfsame spirit of rewriting posts and moping about our lack of posts we’ve been undergoing all week, I suppose it’s time for a repeat of our previous Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion post: a post… about anime/manga posts! You could even say that it’s a meta post!!!

But wait! I’ll also talk about Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion. For one line: ‘Wow that Rounders girl is fucking retarded for somebody born in 2020. lern2assassinate.”

Actually, don’t learn that»


RRR Manga Quarterly Review 7

Even though today’s a Professional Development Day (read: no school), I still didn’t make a post! So have this post that isn’t really a post! I’ll make it into a real post later today! Or tomorrow! Or next week! Probably next month or next year, though… I’m sure you guys are excited!

That’s not an excited face»


RRR Manga Quarterly Review 6

Right guys.

It’s time for a post about manga.

Read the previous post (which I actually just wrote, yesterday) to understand what the heck these manga posts are about. With that over with, it’s time for some verbal diarrhoea~!

Actually, ‘textual diarrhoea’»


Aegis in the Dark Manga Quarterly Review 3

Why is this post late even though I didn’t go to school today? Well, I was just running through my previous posts of Aegis in the Dark, when I realized just how hilarious I am. Hilariously bad. Also, Aniblog Tourney drama. Always a pleasure.

Also, I realized that RRR had already finished, and that Bakuman was finishing. Except RRR finished four weeks ago, and I guess the news about Bakuman finishing was also four weeks ago. This is what happens when you don’t read any manga for four weeks. Or was that four months?

Either way, here’s a Manga Quarterly Review for y’all.

Don’t know what that is? Read onwards»


Mouretsu Pirates 15

Well, guys, it’s time for one last rally up at the Aniblog Tourney. Shameful Otaku Secret is GOING DOWN~!!

How? THE BEST FUCKING SLAM POST IN THE HISTORY OF THE TOURNEY. And last tourney. And last last tourney, but that didn’t even happen.

But speeding is illegal»


ST&RS 23

I bet you guys just CAN’T WAIT for some ST&RS 23!!! But before that, do take a look at this REWRITTEN MOURETSU PIRATES POST!! I say ‘rewritten’ even though I haven’t yet wrote it because, y’know, ‘Rewrite History‘ implies that something is rewritten. However, there is another post that I indeed /have/ rewritten: that post about my feet!! Yeah, that’s right, all you foot fetishes out there get the hell out this is my fucking feet alright, and I’m a creepy neckbeard except I don’t really have a neckbeard. By ‘don’t really’ I mean no, not at all, that would be gross and disgusting and kimoi and neckbeard


Typical neckbeard behaviour: forgetting to get a new roll of toilet paper after the previous roll runs out

I don’t even have a neck»


Mouretsu Pirates 14

I’m sure all of you fervently read through my list of tags every time I make a post, and so, I do not even need to remind you that yes, indeed, Spring is here, and with it, the blogging of two more shows by our resident anime professional, AbsoluteZero255. However, this does not mean that I’ll magically stop posting about BODACIOUS SPACE PIRATES. In fact, I’ll scientifically stop posting about Bodacious Space Pirates, since everybody knows that Science is the absolute moral antithesis of Magick, even though they’re not mutually exclusive or even contradictory. Nevertheless, both Science and Magick can bestow unwanted effects on the individual, including coughing, wheezing, sneezing, and breathing, even though ‘Science’ is just a method, and doesn’t ’cause’ anything to happen, and ‘Magick’ is also just a method, which simply leads to conclusions possibly contradictory to Science. What I’m saying is, don’t be like these people. Science and Magick are DANGEROUS THINGS.

Don’t mess with science!»


Mouretsu Pirates 13

The final Mouretsu Pirates episode of this season AND IT’S LATE.

Please wait warmly, boys are now running outside in the mud even though it’s sunny and there actually isn’t any mud outside so I can’t make any farm plots to harvest plump helmets which is what I once did for five hours straight yesterday thus explaining the lack of a proper post

That is quite possibly my current face»


Steins;Gate: Boukan no Rebellion 9

I don’t know.

On one hand, Boukan no Rebellion really feels like it should be read after watching Steins;Gate. Otherwise, you wouldn’t understand the whole drama around Suzuha, you wouldn’t understand the bond between Rintarou and Mayuri, you wouldn’t understand the pain and torture Rintarou went through after Mayuri died fifty thousand million times.

On the other hand, Boukan no Rebellion really feels like it should be read before watching Steins;Gate. Otherwise, all the mystery around Suzuha is already spoiled, all the suspense around Mayuri’s death is unsuspenseful, and all the drama around her dad is wasted.

My conclusion?

Read and watch them simultaneously. Send a D-Mail to your past self to tell them to do that. Oh, and tell your past self to tell me to do that too, will ya (although then, the me who’s writing this post presumably dies. forever. not even in a well off the coast of finland…)?

Or a G-Mail: God’s chain-mail armour»


Mouretsu Pirates 12

Friends, comrades, enemies whom I wish to embed inside a well off the coast of Finland:

Today, we have gathered here today, as opposed to yesterday, and certainly not tomorrow, to discuss a serious topic.

This topic is: the absurd lack of sunglasses in recent anime blogs’ posts of Mouretsu Pirates.

Look at emperorj’s Mouretsu Pirates 12 post. Once an embodiment of all that is horrible mspaint drawings, emperorj has spent his past week in trite idleness, not drawing a single horrible drawing along the way. Look at Fosshizzel’s Mouretsu Pirates 11 post. Not only is there a terrible absence of any drawings at all, but he has not even deigned to reply to my thoughtful response!! What an atrocity! I don’t even know how many s’s and z’s are in his name! Mushyrulez is simple. One s, one z. None of that silly Musssshyrulezz business.

At least Shinmaru still knows what’s going on. Now if he continues to make horrible drawings, my respect for him will do naught but increase. However, if he fails to…

…»


Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 8 [Completed]

Mad props to the team over at WhyNot? for subbing this shit all the way until the end. Hmmm, they sub Mouretsu Pirates too, this can’t be a coincidence… ;)

Observe this post, it’s a Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 7 post. I just wrote it today because I forgot to watch this show until today, and was rather rushed because I had to watch two episodes and write these two posts in the span of a mere three hours (it usually takes me three hours just to write ONE post!)

Anyways, this episode JUST came out, like literally (check that link) so don’t mind me if this post feels rushed. Here, have a picture of noitaminA while you wait. Here, more noitaminA comparison – doesn’t Black★Rock Shooter (TV)’s ED sound a lot like Guilty Crown’s first ED? Why yes it does – this can’t be a coincidence either… ;(

No, he’s the miner»


Busou Chuugakusei: Basket Army 2

Well, guys.

I hope you’re all HELLA pumped about tomorrow, because tomorrow…

THE FINAL EPISODE OF BLACK★RETARD LOSER (TV) WILL AIR!!!

Oh, wait, sorry. That was pretty racist of me. Apologies, anyone out there who got offended. Tomato isn’t black. Japanese★Retard Schooler (TV) just doesn’t have the same ring to it, though…

But wait! This isn’t even a BRS post! It’s a BCBA post! And Busou Chuugakusei: Basket Army you will have.

Baskets of armies»


Mouretsu Pirates 11

It’s time for MUSHY’S SEMI-WEEKLY ANIME POST! It’s time to GET YA GUNS ON, because we’re BLASTING OFF for a journey into CYBERSPACE!!

My old school’s 100 years old»


Mouretsu Pirates 10

WOAH! Don’t look like Hyakume with his callous obstinacy! It almost looks like this post might be late! Not to worry, because Captain Daylight Savings Time is here to extend the time I have to post by an hour, except not really because time hasn’t been warped like it will be warped in the next episode of More Tsun Pirates. Observe how I shall embed a self-referential pun within the next few words:

<!-more tsun pirates»->


Gangsta 11

Watch out!! It’s a post about GANGSTA, GREEK FOOD, and GOOGLE today (and NOT a pedo bear by madoka how MANY PEOPLE search for pedo bear EVERY SINGLE DAY and get to this stupid fucking blog… I got 1.4 MILLION impressions for my blog by people searching pedo bear in the last WEEK. why, society?! why?)! :o

Yes, I realize, it’s strange – after all, with Daylight Savings Time started, I now have an extra hour every day to post, but.. nope? That’s because I decided to eat Greek food. The end. Updates later tomorrow. Or below. Click that more link».

more link»


Mouretsu Pirates 9

You don’t say?

Well, I will now say.

Mouretsu Pirates is gearing up to be ~AWESOME~. You know how every single manga I’ve ever blogged starts to suck after I start blogging it? Even Mudazumo Naki Kaikaku isn’t what it once was. I must infect good manga with bad luck, or something. Really, after they start to suck, the manga I blog all end early – SWOT, Donten Prism Solar Car, Hand x Red, now Kagami no Kuni no Harisugawa, and soon, ST&RS.

But, you know how every single anime I’ve ever blogged starts to become ~AWESOME~ after I start blogging it? Even Kyoukai Senjou no Horizon turned out to be an ~awesome~ show that I’m getting HELLA PUMPED about next next season. I must infect bad anime with good luck, or something, Really, after they start to be awesome, the anime I blog all get sequels – Horizon, Steins;Gate, Beelzebub, and… uh… yeah.

Anyways, Majikoi genuinely became humorous(ly bad) after I started blogging it; Ben-To became the underdog of the season after I started blogging it; Black★Rock Shooter (TV) now seems somewhat decent (once you think of them as gearing up for a Madoka finale) after I started blogging it; and Mouretsu Pirates…

…is ~AWESOME~!

“This spaceship is indeed a potato.”»


Black★Rock Shooter (TV) 5

Hmmm.

I can’t say that wasn’t unexpected.

No, wait. I can.

But I won’t. So I’m not going to say that that wasn’t unexpected, and I’m not going to type ‘that wasn’t unexpected’, either. I suppose I just did. Y’know what? Drown yourself in a well off the coast of Finland. Or just scroll down to the bottom of the post to read what’s actually important.

mega moe megane»