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Posts tagged “zoom zoom zoom

Hah! The Rake, You Mowed Someone 8

The rains were a drizzle on the sidewalk. Red, orange, blue; seventeen rainbow colours dotted the streets in increasingly psychedelic displays of unnatural diversity. On the top of my porch, on the top of my wall; there they lay in the mid-autumn day of mid-fall.

There lay I, musing late in the autumn day, gazing off southward. A solitary rake, leaning askew on an old yew, old as you. Perched precariously between the branches it lay and lied and lies. Lies, sharp lies, white lies, bitter lies. How can you not know, rake? How can you?

Unfortunately rakes are not cans so they can—not.

It began that day in mid-autumn, a lonely thing, leaning and leaning so far she could drop and fall forever and nobody would notice. The swirling colours blinded and dazzled, a reflection of the times to come. Broken, unwanted.

Dust in the wind.

I never wanted her. Sitting cozy at home, wending the shores of the 24 Hours, through distant rains I crossed and checked. 3-Across: Groundbreaking innovation? Womanizer.

Then she started to fall.

Then she started to winter...

Nature has no feelings. Nature does not see our sights, does not breathe our air, does not walk the stairs and talk the bears and balk at rares. In the mass of spinning leaves, my eyes reverting from the south, dropt.

The ground, incarnadine, as she dropt, all purpose-like, as if her destiny were to destroy and destruct and detonate. As she fell and flew and shattered all around her.

Hah!

The rake, you mowed someone.

Cause both lawnmowers and rakes are garden implements! Right??


Cats are a cool 猫-sama 7

You know that really cool guy you want to be when you grow up? The guy with the hair and the teeth and the lips? The guy who does all those things you’d expect really cool guys to do, and more?

Well, I think I’ve met my future.

Just try to imagine yourself 10 years in the future here. Actually, don't, the guy in the picture looks much better than that.

And the nametag?»


Cataracts Maou-sama 6

Nadie espera a la Inquisición española. And nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition to represent the Spanish Inquisition, either. Sure, they’re not actually Spanish, and they’re not actually inquiring into anything, but that’s alright…

Alternate image: All LEFT, you moron!

I think your face is all wrong»


Worse Larks Online 11

A modern epistolary article, by Mushyrulez.

Dr. Christian F. Clean
Argus Entertainment
666 Gr Ave.
Hell’s Gate, BC

April 1st, 2022

Mr. Mackenzie U. S. H. Zdrojkowski
555 Park St.
Vancouver, BC

Dear End-User Customer:

I am pleased to inform you that your application to be a Beta Tester for Sword Art Online has been approved by our customer services department. This letter summarizes your responsibilities in the implementation of this Beta Test. Attached please find the detailed Terms and Conditions of this Agreement. By creating an account for Sword Art Online, you accept these Terms and Conditions.

As a Beta Tester for Sword Art Online, you will:

1. Participate in Sword Art Online for a minimum of twenty (20) hours every week;
2. Agree to submit all physical/emotional usage statistics to Argus Entertainment, Inc.;
3. Actively search for ‘bugs’ existing in the Beta implementation of Sword Art Online;
4. Swear complete secrecy on all aspects of the Beta Implementation of Sword Art Online;

Argus Entertainment, Inc. waives responsibility for all nervous damage caused by the Beta Implementation of Argus Entertainment, Inc.’s revolutionary NerveGear™ product. By accepting the Terms and Conditions attached, you permanently suspend all prospective emotional damage lawsuits that may be caused by your imminent death by electromagnetic combustion. Argus Entertainment, Inc. permanently reserves all rights related to this Beta Implementation of Sword Art Online.

Sincerely yours,

Christian Felix Clean

There's only one 'i' in 'Yui'!

[BUG REPORT #000023]

SUBMITTER: mzdrojkowski1
DATE: 20220402204022
VERSION: SAO0.000.092b
SUMMARY: Sword Art Online is not letting me be a moè girl with only one eyeball.
DESCRIPTION: I really want to be a moè girl with only one eyeball.
STATUS: WONTFIX
REPLY: You are a fucking retard.

I want to be a moè ball with only one girl»


Commando Flare on posting duty

OH MAN,INTERNET POSTS!!!

Hi! My name is Flare and for today I decided to go ahead and make a post with some random crap. Also, my name is Flare!

So…it’s 9.50 PM here right now, and I am staying in front of my laptop while thinking what the hell should I write about in this post.At first I thought that maybe I should write again about the Unpopular-girl-Manga-thing-Mushy-lemon,but…I don’t know.The last chapters that came out were really bad in my opinion and…the recent doujin works based on the project that I saw made me hate it even more.Yeah…I HATE IT!!!You know, this is pretty common for projects.In most cases, once they become popular, both fans and the author/s start to **** on the project hard.HARD!

…and this is why the best “Gems” are the ones that are hidden well.

I also thought about writing some stuff about NEET-ness, but the idea sounds pretty stupid and…there’s already Mushy’s posts so why bother?

[Short opinion about Anime seasons.This season-Bad/Poor/Weak Next season-Awesome-o-fantastic!]

Writing about video games-not a good idea too, since video games are pretty bad thing.This is why I am following my dream of being a super villain who makes video games to waste the life time of others.[Not really!]{Video games are not bad and are not a waste of time.If you look at things logically, in the end all things will be a waste for a person when Mr.the reaper comes and steal his/her briefs/panties.}

“Ahhh…the sh**y posts we read”! -By Flare

 


Mouretsu Pirates 25

First of all, let me make things clear.

You guys all suck.

Nobody has joined my quest to enlighten the world of the true nature of ~sunglasses~.

Do not worry. I will return next season, stronger than ever, with more sun and more glasses and more tsu pirates. Actually, lesstsu pirates because Mouretsu Pirates is ending next episode. I can’t let this chance slip away, so I will use this post to finally persuade all you ignorant plebeians of the wondrous abilities of ~sunglasses~.

>:»


Mouretsu Pirates 21

In moètsu Pirates Episode 21: the DINGHY SPACE LEAGE [sic] outwits the Biscuit Company.

P.S. That girl is the moè-est girl in the entire show. FUCK YOU NANOPULP, DROWN IN A WELL OFF THE COAST OF FINLAND